What It's Like Outside the Court
The scene is filled with smiles, singing and even balloons released into the air. See for yourself.
Advocate.com Editors
www.advocate.com/politics/marriage-equality/2015/06/26/what-its-outside-court
Monthly Archives: June 2015
Ecstasy, Despair, and a Call to Justice on This Historic Day
Ecstasy, Despair, and a Call to Justice on This Historic Day
My husband Brad and I were married in our small Episcopalian church two and a half years ago in a ceremony that included just the priest and two witnesses who were volunteers from the church. Yet, despite its small size, the wedding was a monumental experience, made much more so that it was held within those church walls where we worshiped, and where our love was considered sacred and our vows were understood to be binding before one another and God.
Yet, we were painfully aware that outside the walls, our vows could be legally evaporated merely by crossing a state boundary. In a very real sense, it was within our church where we felt most fully human and beloved by our community and by God. To many in the outside world, our love was a fiction that they could erase with a wave of an official hand.
So, on this day I am so thankful to God for the Supreme Court decision and to the American people who are so rapidly recognizing that our love is no longer debatable.
It is hard for people who have not had the right to marry whom they love to understand what it means to have your government no longer think of you as not human enough to be able to enjoy the full benefits of citizenship. For Brad and me, and now for our son, the decision by the Supreme Court to legalize gay marriage across the country is like a gate being opened and entrance granted into the hereto guarded sanctum of being considered fully human.
And so I am rejoicing today, and ecstatic that in the years to come, the love that I share with Brad and the love that millions of other LGBT Americans experience will be honored and that LGBT people will have gained dignity and justice at last.
And yet, today, my heart is also despairing. On this great day of celebration, there is also a funeral and great mourning of the loss of the life of Rev. Clementa Pinckney and eight other African-Americans who were shot in Charleston.
For those nine African-Americans, the church was also their sanctuary. And Mother Emanuel AME was a church where, throughout its history, African-Americans were afforded full human dignity when the outside world wanted to enslave them. That sacred sanctuary was brutally violated just days ago by a twisted, sick shooter and today, we mourn the loss of “The Beautiful Nine.”
In a legal sense, African-Americans gained the long fought and centuries overdue recognition of their humanity in the Supreme Court and in the Congress a few decades ago. Despite this, the last year of police brutality in Ferguson, New York, Cleveland, Baltimore and now Charleston shows us the limits of these rulings. And the Supreme Court itself gutted some of those same civil rights in a recent ruling. African-Americans still live within a deeply racist America that now has invaded the sanctuary of the church.
Despite this, anyone who watched the church service at Emanuel AME last Sunday knows that the Church may have been broken into, but it is anything but broken. That sanctuary has a strength and will not be diminished by sin and hate, but will ultimately grow stronger.
The church that performed my wedding to Brad and Emanuel AME church are two very different places, but both are important reminders of the role church must still play in the world.
No matter what the Supreme Court ruled today, it will still be dangerous for Brad and I to even hold hands in most of America, must less embrace or kiss. For African-Americans, just walking down the street or driving can be a cause for racially-motivated harassment or violence.
In a world that continues to diminish and discriminate, the church, if it is to mean anything at all, must be a sanctuary for all people to be fully themselves and feel the dignity and pride in who God made them — whatever race, gender, sexuality, culture, religion or size.
On this day, of celebration and mourning, let the church lead the calls for continued justice, compassion and love for all of humanity. Remembering American martyrs like Rev. Clementa Pinckney and the Beautiful Nine as well as those Americans who have died as the result of anti-queer violence, let us all work together towards that great day when we can wipe away all the tears of oppression and discrimination and join hands as one people, free at last.
— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
LIVE BLOG: #LoveWins!
LIVE BLOG: #LoveWins!
#LoveWins: With sweeping new ruling, marriage equality must begin in all 50 states.
HRC.org
www.hrc.org/blog/entry/live-blog-lovewins?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss-feed
Twitter Overflows With SCOTUS Joy: From Obama To Bomer, Clinton To Chachki
Twitter Overflows With SCOTUS Joy: From Obama To Bomer, Clinton To Chachki
In case you hadn’t noticed, today is something of an historic day. We think we can all agree with Violet Chachki on this one — come through, marriage equality!
Here’s some of the positive Twitter reaction to the Supreme Court’s landmark decision to honor love across the nation:
Today is a big step in our march toward equality. Gay and lesbian couples now have the right to marry, just like anyone else. #LoveWins
— President Obama (@POTUS) June 26, 2015
Proud to celebrate a historic victory for marriage equality—& the courage & determination of LGBT Americans who made it possible. -H
— Hillary Clinton (@HillaryClinton) June 26, 2015
America’s continuing journey toward a more perfect union just took another very important step. #SCOTUSMarriage — Bill Clinton (@billclinton) June 26, 2015
Victory! I did not think it would happen in my lifetime. #MarriageEquaility — Cleve Jones (@CleveJones1) June 26, 2015
Thank you to the bold. Thank you to the risk-takers. Thank you to all who said NO, we will wait no longer! #MarriageEquaility #SCOTUS
— Cleve Jones (@CleveJones1) June 26, 2015
Today the Supreme Court fulfilled the words engraved upon its building: ‘Equal justice under law.’ #SCOTUSMarriage
— Bernie Sanders (@SenSanders) June 26, 2015
Woo-hoo! Love wins!!! #lovewins — Elizabeth Warren (@SenWarren) June 26, 2015
The Court ruled on the right side of history. I look forward to the marriage celebrations across the country in the coming weeks. #LoveWins — Senator Harry Reid (@SenatorReid) June 26, 2015
SCOTUS has unequivocally affirmed that equal justice means marriage equality for LGBT Americans! t.co/wWMh2H7Jns #LoveCantWait
— Nancy Pelosi (@NancyPelosi) June 26, 2015
Six years ago I promised LGBT people federal equality from a very big stage. Today a monumental piece of that puzzle is in place. #LoveWins
— Dustin Lance Black (@DLanceBlack) June 26, 2015
Marriage equality for all in the USA! Amazing news! ???????? — Tom Daley (@TomDaley1994) June 26, 2015
#LoveWins Today is a huge step forward for our country, and my family. I’m so grateful and happy! #SCOTUSMarriage — Matt Bomer (@MattBomer) June 26, 2015
What a day to celebrate! Today also happens to be my parents’ 39th wedding anniversary! Congrats to all who celebrate #love. #LoveWins
— Jason Collins (@jasoncollins98) June 26, 2015
Ahora en los EEUU no se llamara “matrimonio igualitario” se llamara MATRIMONIO y punto.
— Ricky Martin (@ricky_martin) June 26, 2015
cOmE THrOuGh MArRiAGE EQUaLiTY!!!! — Violet Chachki (@VioletChachki) June 26, 2015
Holy shit SCOTUS!! What an amazing day and what a great step forward for America — Alan Cumming (@Alancumming) June 26, 2015
Proud today. #SCOTUSMarriage #LoveWins pic.twitter.com/Tyvjl75d9Y
— Looking (@LookingHBO) June 26, 2015
Today is a day that will go down in history. Remember this moment. Your grandkids will be asking you about it someday. #LoveWins
— Raymond Braun (@raymondbraun) June 26, 2015
Dan Tracer
WATCH: President Obama Calls Marriage Plaintiff Jim Obergefell On the Steps of the Supreme Court
WATCH: President Obama Calls Marriage Plaintiff Jim Obergefell On the Steps of the Supreme Court
Jim Obergefell, the plaintiff at the center of the SCOTUS gay marriage case, gave his initial reaction to today’s pro-equality ruling outside the high court’s steps a short while ago.
Said Obergefell in part:
Now at long last, Ohio will recognize our marriage and most important marriage equality will come to every state across our country. It’s my hope that the term ‘gay marriage’ will soon be a thing of the past. That from this day forward, it will simply be ‘marriage.’ And our nation will be better off because of it.
President Obama also called Obergefell to offer his congratulations.
Watch both videos below:
The post WATCH: President Obama Calls Marriage Plaintiff Jim Obergefell On the Steps of the Supreme Court appeared first on Towleroad.
Kyler Geoffroy
WATCH: President Obama Calls Marriage Plaintiff Jim Obergefell On the Steps of the Supreme Court
Love Wins (Obergefell v. Hodges)
Texas Attorney General insists clerks wait to issue marriage licenses
Texas Attorney General insists clerks wait to issue marriage licenses
Although clerks have indicated they would issue licenses within hours of a Supreme Court ruling in favor of same-sex marriage, the state’s top lawman says they should wait.
Bil Browning
www.advocate.com/texas/2015/06/26/texas-attorney-general-insists-clerks-wait-issue-marriage-licenses
Lauryn Farris' Story From The RaiseAChild.US Let Love Define Family Series
Lauryn Farris' Story From The RaiseAChild.US Let Love Define Family Series
If there was ever a couple who truly Let Love Define Family, it’s Lauryn and Kerry Farris of San Antonio, Texas. Married as a cisgender straight couple nearly four decades ago, they remained in love and committed to one another as Lauryn transitioned to live and present as a woman, even during a five-year period while they were divorced. The parents of two biological sons, they became foster parents to a 17-year-old transgender girl who will join their family through adoption. On the eve of their day in family court, Lauryn spoke with RaiseAChild.US Founder and CEO Rich Valenza and contributing writer Beth Hallstrom about her life, faith, activism and expanding family.
Lauryn Farris: My name is Lauryn Harold Farris and I guess my middle name is Harold now because I was a junior and my father and my son both shared the same name.
My family today and my family tomorrow will be slightly different in that I’ve been married to the same woman for 33 years — we’ve been together 36 years. We have two biological boys, one 28 and one 22, and we have a foster daughter who is 17. Tomorrow, she becomes our adopted daughter.
Beth Hallstrom: That’s wonderful. Congratulations!
Farris: We’re also doing a name and gender change for her tomorrow. That’s pretty unheard of here in Texas for her age and with Child Protective Services, as far as we know. The only way to reissue a birth certificate in Texas is through adoption. So, we will get to reissue her birth certificate with not only her corrected name, but also her corrected gender markers.
Rich Valenza: That’s a big day tomorrow.
Farris: We’re also doing a dual adoption tomorrow — a joint adoption. There are more same-sex couples and families in San Antonio than any other city in the state.
Hallstrom: That’s fascinating. I wouldn’t have guessed that about San Antonio.
Farris: Most of the adoptions in the entire state are done in San Antonio, as are almost all name and gender marker changes. So, we’re really a pretty progressive city and one of the most equal. I was part of facilitating that back in 2013 when the city updated its non-discrimination ordinance to include sexual orientation and gender identity.
Valenza: What do you think makes San Antonio so liberal, accepting and inclusive?
Farris: We are a very Hispanic community and a very Catholic community. Much of our public community is very loving and much of our Catholic community has a “live and let live” attitude. When we get a lot of marchers together — there are a lot of freedom marches — all of these groups have welcomed the gay community.
I stood on the podium when we passed the non-discrimination ordinance with a Hispanic grandmother and Dominican nun who were supporting human rights. So, I think that’s why, but when you get outside the 410 loop in San Antonio, it’s a different world.
Valenza: Lauryn, you’ve mentioned religion a number of times. I’m curious about your faith.
Farris: I’m a pretty devout Christian and when people have real, true faith, they can move mountains. They don’t fear things like other people’s opinions. Many of the trailblazers in our community come from some very strong faith backgrounds and they continue with their faith even when rejected by the church.
That’s where the real strength comes from — from their faith. I believe what got our family through the transition was our faith.
Hallstrom: And do your children share your faith?
Farris: My younger son struggles a lot and he identifies as spiritual but non-religious at this point. But my older son is very active in the Metropolitan Community Church and our daughter has a strong belief in faith. When we began transitioning, one of the first things Kerry, my partner, and I wanted to do was come out to our minister.
One of my strongest memories of transitioning was having lunch with our minister as Lauryn. Kerry and I explained to him what was happening and who Lauryn was. The first words out of his mouth were, “You know you’ll never be able to take communion again,” then he turned to Kerry and said, “You and the boys are welcome any time.” I will never forget that.
Valenza: How did you get past that incident?
Farris: It was Mike Piazza [the progressive spiritual leader and former senior pastor and dean of the Cathedral of Hope in Dallas, Texas] who helped me break down the barrier that kept me from loving and accepting myself. Mike helped me understand that this is the way God made me and intended for me to be. Once I realized that, I realized that God would love me just the way I am. It was not a curse, it was a blessing.
This was before the meeting with our minister in San Antonio, while Kerry and I were divorced. Mike’s counseling helped me get past my alcohol abuse and allowed Kerry and I to re-marry.
Hallstrom: Did Kerry feel the same way?
Farris: Well, we’d been married a long time and Kerry knew about Lauryn before we were married. She didn’t really understand it. Thirty years ago it wasn’t like we could research it on the Internet! She thought I would change. Before the boys were born I went to cross-dressing groups and she was okay with that. I had an alcohol problem and it got worse and that’s when we actually divorced for five years. That’s when I worked with Mike Piazza, when I came out and within just a couple years, I was able to accept who I was. Then Kerry and I were remarried.
Within a few years of that, we made the decision to come out together. It was a big transition for Kerry and it took her awhile to get used to it. She doesn’t like to do public speaking, but she doesn’t mind talking about it at all. She tells her story and we just are who we are. We even remained close during the divorce. It’s destiny. There are so many reasons we shouldn’t be together but we love each other.
Valenza: Tell us about the girl you’re going to adopt. How did she come in to your life?
Farris: First, let me tell you how I got involved in the community. I got a call from a woman I know who said, “I know you’re transitioning and I really need your help. There’s a 17-year old transgender girl who lives out by you and I’d really Iike you to meet her. When she came out to her family, they told her to leave and never come back. She’s living on the streets and there are no shelters that will take her. She’s sleeping under a bridge and really struggling.”
So, I met her a few times. We would go to lunch and then, one Friday, I’ll never forget, she didn’t show up. I texted my friend asking if she’d seen her and, as far as I know now, no one’s ever seen her again. And I said, “Never again. I will never let this happen again to another transgender youth. I will do all in my power to prevent it.”
Hallstrom: Are there many transgender people in San Antonio?
Farris: We used to tell homeless people to go to Austin or Houston because there are shelters there that will let trans people live as trans people. Most shelters make people live based on their genitalia. Now, we have an LGBTQ shelter in San Antonio. I was involved with that even before it was open.
Hallstrom: Describe your involvement after your experience with the teen who disappeared.
Farris: I got really involved with helping at local homeless shelters. I got involved with Child Protective Services and its program Circle of Support. When a child turns 16, they put together a Circle of Support of people who will help support them when they age out of the system. I had met Catizia [their foster daughter] as a mentor and, at one meeting, they were really just yelling at her about her grades. She was failing every class and they couldn’t understand it.
I suggested we ask Catizia about her environment. She was going to a school outside that loop I spoke of — a very conservative school. She told stories about other students throwing water bottles at her and one of her teachers asking in front of the whole class, “So, does everybody know your little secret?” So, I got a little angrier and turned to the group leader and said, “Maybe she should come live with us!” 26 days later we were licensed as foster parents.
Valenza: What was it like in the beginning, after Catizia moved in?
Farris: She was seeing a counselor weekly. She had anger issues and she didn’t really know how to be what she was born to be. She was going back and forth to be able to survive in her previous living environment. If I mentioned she was transgender, it really upset her and she got angry.
Valenza: And today?
Farris: She sees her counselor once a month now and no longer has anger issues. She fully transitioned in the past year and we’ve been invited to media training conferences in Washington, D.C. Now she wants to tell her story whenever she can. Every semester at the [University of Texas] Health Science Center, she makes them cry with her story. She inspired a study of the transgender population in San Antonio and their health needs.
Valenza: With those you love, it’s worth the investment. You invested that time and love in your daughter and she’s made an amazing turnaround. How is your relationship with your sons?
Farris: My older son lives in San Antonio and he has my 21-month-old grand baby. He is an activist for the trans community and speaks often. My younger son graduated recently from college with a degree in psychology and wants to work with children. Our relationship, especially with my older son, is much better now. When I first came out he was angry because we were very close and he felt I had lied to him. We actually worked together on the non-discrimination ordinance and, when it passed, I lost it. I broke into tears and when I was walking out of the courthouse, there were news crews everywhere and he just stepped in front of me and took care of Mom. I think difficult situations are bonding opportunities.
With my immediate family, I think we’re closer now.
Valenza: That’s an amazing testament to what a loving family can do. I’m sure it wasn’t easy. You know, I came out late in life. I was 27 when I came out and my biggest fear was: would people still love me? Would I be accepted? I imagine it was the same if you had any fears when you made your transition. Was that the case?
Farris: I’ve thought a lot about this and I’ve written about it before. The transition of every transgender person I’ve met has been different. I’ve been involved in almost every national and local LGBT organization there is. One of the things I really believe is that each of us has our own individual barriers to self acceptance. To be able to love ourselves and truly accept ourselves — most of us have a barrier. For me it was faith.
I’ve talked about Mike Piazza before and I will tell you that at communion on that Easter Sunday when I was almost 40 and he said, “All are worthy, all are welcome,” that was the epiphany that broke my barrier and, at that time, I did not even realize that was a barrier for me. It wasn’t about people loving me — it was, would God love me? And what I realized was that God loved me just the way I was.
Hallstrom: Lauryn, you and your family have experienced quite a journey and evolution over the past 36 years. Looking back, what are your thoughts?
Farris: I think one of the great tragedies is that we transgender people, in the past, don’t typically come out until later in life. As trans people, we raise our children and then don’t come out until later. But, worst of all, our children and spouses miss out on being able to grow up with our best selves. We all miss out on the best versions of who we are during the best years of our lives. Because we wait, still living a lie, we all lose so much. I really think our society needs to change.
RaiseAChild.US is the nationwide leader in the recruitment and support of LGBT and all prospective parents interested in building families through fostering and adoption to meet the needs of the 400,000 children in the foster care system. RaiseAChild.US recruits, educates, and nurtures supportive relationships equally with all prospective foster and adoptive parents while partnering with agencies to improve the process of advancing foster children to safe, loving and permanent homes. For information about how you can become a foster or adoptive parent, please visit www.RaiseAChild.US.
— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
Here Are Eight Awesome Can’t Miss NYC Pride Events
Here Are Eight Awesome Can’t Miss NYC Pride Events
New York is the city that started it all back in June 1970. Around 2,000 activist types turned out for the very first “Gay Liberation Day” march one year after the 1969 Stonewall Riots. This year, more than two million are expected to attend the festivities. For the math challenged, that’s one thousand X the original crowd. Not bad for a parade that’s not even 50 yet.
[Related Post: Five Things To Know About Ariana Grande Before Her Pride Performance]
Here are eight awesome events at this year’s NYC Pride…
Play House Pride Friday (June 26)
Go hard or go home at Play House Pride Friday. This 18+ party is being held at the Museum of Sex and features tunes spun by DJ Steve Sidewalk and Mikey Mikey Mó. Dougie Meyer will also host his infamous hot body contest (we can’t wait to see those photos!) with lighting by Nick Rubertas.
Bear Yourself Underwear Party: Pride Edition (June 26)
Check your clothes at the door and bear yourself at the Bear Yourself Underwear Party: Pride Edition at Rockbar. $5 gets you access to go-go bears and cubs, dirty beats by DJ Chauncey D, and drink specials. Kick off Pride weekend by kicking off your pants.
Fantasy: A Burlesque Masquerade (June 26)
NYC Pride & Brian Rafferty Productions will host an extravagant burlesque masquerade in NYC’s newest gem, The Diamond Horseshoe. Hidden beneath Times Square, this 20 million dollar club showcases performance artists, lighting, sound and special effects. The party last until 5AM. Get your tickets here.
WE Party: University (June 27)
Prepare for sensory overload. The legendary Hammerstein Ballroom will be transformed into NYC’s biggest mega-club for WE Party: University, complete with bad teachers, jocks, cheerleaders, coaches and frat boys. Get educated with thousands of the hottest men from around the world, where you’ll learn from the musical beats of DJ’s Sagi Kariv from Tel Aviv and Micky Friedmann from Berlin. Tickets are on sale now.
3rd Annual Beefcake Pride Boat Cruise Party (June 27)
Ahoy! Cruise with 400 hot cubs, chubs, bears and beefcakes at the 3rd Annual Beefcake Pride Boat Cruise Party presented by Chris Reed. The voyage takes cruisers around Fire Island and includes jams by DJ Jonny Mack–plus a full bar and buffet. Meet guys, have fun, dance and take in the sights of New York City at sunset, but be sure to get your tickets early.
Teaze: 12 (June 27)
Ladies, this one’s just for you. Don’t miss the only official women’s event of NYC Pride. Teaze (formerly Rapture on the River) is one of the nation’s largest, longest-running dance events created just for the ladies. This year’s DJ booth will feature DJ Sherock, Whitney Day, and Ruby Rose from Netflix’s Orange is the New Black. Tickets are available here.
Dance on the Pier: Dance 29 (June 28)
Now in its 29th year, Dance on the Pier will feature some of the biggest and best talent from around the world with a performance by Ariana Grande and more sounds from DJs Wayne G, The Cube Guys, and Ralphi Rosario, plus fireworks. Proceeds benefit New York City’s Pride events and local orgs. Tickets required.
Can’t make it to NYC for Pride this year? Find out what’s happening in your city by checking out the GayCities Pride Guides presented by our friends at AT&T.
Graham Gremore
Get Ready for Equality With Rachel Maddow’s Highlight Reel From SCOTUS Gay Marriage Oral Arguments: VIDEO
Get Ready for Equality With Rachel Maddow’s Highlight Reel From SCOTUS Gay Marriage Oral Arguments: VIDEO
With the Supreme Court expected to issue its gay marriage decision either today or Monday, Rachel Maddow took a look back at some highlights from the oral arguments in Obergefell v. Hodges that took place in April.
Maddow also discussed speculation about the timing and substance of the ruling.
The post Get Ready for Equality With Rachel Maddow’s Highlight Reel From SCOTUS Gay Marriage Oral Arguments: VIDEO appeared first on Towleroad.
Kyler Geoffroy
