Rand Paul: Get Government Out of Marriage Business
The Republican senator and presidential hopeful says he’s worried about the implications for religious liberty now that same-sex marriages have nationwide government recognition.
Trudy Ring
Rand Paul: Get Government Out of Marriage Business
The Republican senator and presidential hopeful says he’s worried about the implications for religious liberty now that same-sex marriages have nationwide government recognition.
Trudy Ring
An Interview With Award-Winning Trans Escort Viktor Belmont
Rentboy.com
A few months ago at an award ceremony called The Hookies, an awards show put on by Rentboy.com to honor the best of the best in the male escorting business, host Alaska Thunderfuck presented the award for Best Newcomer to Viktor Belmont. Viktor was the first trans man to win a Hookie, an award given to him by his peers. Trans people and issues have been getting a great amount of media attention the past year or so, especially in comparison to the almost complete lack of attention the trans community has typically experienced. We’ve seen beautiful trans women like Laverne Cox grace the covers of magazines, and people within the gay community become increasingly sensitive about language that our trans family might find offensive.
But Viktor isn’t just a trans man, he’s a trans gay male escort. It’s a whole extra layer of stigma to deal with, and one that Viktor handles with aplomb. I had the chance to chat with Viktor about his recent Hookie win, how he got his start in the industry and what it’s like to work in the highly stigmatized field of professional escorting.
What initially attracted you to Rentboy.com?
There are a couple sites that you can advertise on — there was one that was really great for trans men called “myredbook” that got shut down a couple years ago, and I was looking for another avenue to advertise on. Another trans escort I know told me about Rentboy, and when I got on the site there were actually two other trans men advertising on it. Rentboy’s attitude is very much that everyone has an itch, everybody has a want and need and they’re super welcoming. Very much like, “We appreciate diversity, come on board!” and I’ve only had positive experiences.
What misconception about working as an escort bothers you the most?
I think people really don’t understand my job. The biggest misconception is that people have this idea of the type of person who is a sex worker, and what I don’t think a lot of people realize is you can’t throw a rock in a city without hitting a million escorts. San Francisco is expensive! People don’t treat my job as work. They think that folks just throw money at you, and that it’s really easy. I advertise as curating experiences — you can tell me the kind of thread-count you like on your sheets, I’ll get you a specific type of coffee, I do everything I can to make the experience exactly what you want. I’ll get done with an overnight or something, and have people say, “Oh that’s so awesome, you made all that money and it seems so easy!” And I’m just kind of like… well, every fiber of my being is making sure that everybody is getting the best time possible with me. It’s difficult when people think my job isn’t really work — it’s like, yeah it really is!
Did you expect your fellow Rentboys to be accepting of a trans newcomer, or did you anticipate some tension/transphobia?
It’s interesting because a couple of my friends, other escorts who are cisgender men, were nominated for awards, and I kind of gave them a little shout-out on Instagram asking people to go vote for them. After I made that post I got a couple text message from them saying like, “You should totally try — you should campaign to get an award!” I was just like, “I don’t know, man…” It was a little scary, but I put myself out there. I could have never expected as welcoming and warm of a reception as the one I got — it was really incredible. I posted something online and the likes just started coming in, the followers started coming in, everybody was like, “Yes, we want this! This is awesome!” I’ve had absolutely no tension or competition with other escorts — it has only been support. This community is really tight; we really help each other out.
The Hookies keep becoming a bigger deal as time goes on; I keep seeing them referred to as the Oscars of the escort industry. Why do you think female escorts aren’t getting in on the award ceremony game?
From a completely business perspective, we do live in a society where men tend to get passes where women can’t. It’s unfortunate, and is clearly a sexist problem that I have a big issue with. When it comes to the law, the kind of work we’re doing is very sensitive, and laws are definitely more enforced with women comparatively to men. I talked to my friend who is a female escort at the Hookies, and she was like, “This could not happen for women. We would definitely get shut down, and we would all be arrested.” I couldn’t tell you how we could really change that, but destigmatizing our work in general by being out and proud, showing people that there are everyday people who are escorts, that we’re all around you and it is a valid career choice, is definitely important. We’re also not really protected by law. Our work, depending on what you disclose, can be illegal. I think that those laws really target women, whether they’re cisgender or trans, comparatively to men. The bigger answer I guess is that we live in a slight state of patriarchy.
You’ve mentioned in other interviews that you’re a visual artist — how much does your work affect your art?
I’ve got a couple projects going on — I’ve got a photobook that’s about my experiences with escorting. I have another one that’s a series with all these disposable cameras that I bring everywhere, which I’ve done since I was a teenager. Ever since the Hookies I’ve been taking more pictures with these disposable cameras kind of following my journey, meeting other escorts and having these beautiful relationships and capturing these beautiful morning-after and traveling moments. Just getting a little peek into what life is actually like as an escort. It’s a really intimate photobook, I feel really excited about it. I also have a book coming out with a collective called Young Blood — they’re going to follow me around for a day and capture what it’s like to rent an escort for an entire day, taking photos the whole time.
The Internet can be a messed up place — what is the most unsettling experience you’ve had online from a suitor?
One of the more unsettling things that has happened wasn’t really from a suitor, but it’s been people who I actually know. I’ve had someone’s partner approach me before, and I know they’re monogamous, and they’ll approach me on the Internet for whatever it may be, and that can be awkward. Like OK, I just saw a dick pic… and you’re my friend’s husband. It’s always turned out fine, but when it’s close to home like that, I never want to compromise somebody’s integrity.
Did you have a “coming out” experience surrounding your work as an escort, and if so, how did it compare to “coming out” as being transgender?
I’m not one of those people in my experience coming out as trans where I had one of those bright lightbulb moments where I was like 7 years old saying, “I’m a boy! This is my life!” I’ve always been fairly androgynous — I don’t feel hyper masculine or feminine all the time, so coming out for me was more like trying on a few identities and then feeling like something was a little off. I realized that not only was I attracted to men, but also on top of that I knew that I was a boy. Being a gay trans man… that’s an identity that took me a long time to get to.
In terms of coming out as being an escort, I’ve been doing sex work for a long time. For me it started as survival sex work. Hormones unfortunately aren’t covered by insurance, and it’s very hard to get that much money when you don’t come from an affluent community. Through those experiences I met some wonderful people in the community who helped support me, and who viewed sex work in this really positive light. As I became a little bit older and started working in bigger cities I became more “out” about being an escort, because for me my work is really important. I don’t just have the “run of the mill” escort experience that most people think of, very few escorts have that. I’ve been with one of my oldest clients for like six years, and was there when his partner passed away. I’ve been a really needed caretaker. Once I started having those strong relationships, I didn’t want to hide my identity as an escort because I thought the work was so important. I started by “coming out” about it to my friends a little bit, and now it’s just like when people ask me what I do I just say, “Oh, I’m an escort.” There’s no need to beat around the bush with that — I’m proud of my work, and there is no shame in it.
What do you think would surprise people the most about your average day’s work routine?
The mundane aspects of you know, changing your sheets, taking a shower, making sure you have the right toothpaste or whatever. The routine of getting ready for somebody. That’s definitely unexpected for a lot of folks. I’ll go shopping at Ikea with a client. It’s not like the most exciting, but I’ll be shopping for a new bedframe, holding someone’s hand and talking about what we’re going to cook for dinner. There are a lot of those moments that I think people wouldn’t expect me to have, but clients are looking for genuine company and I’m going to give that to them. If that means going to Ikea, then so be it!
This year has been great in terms of visibility for the trans community, with more and more transgender people becoming visible to the mass public via the media. I can think of two relatively well-known transgender men, Chaz Bono and Buck Angel, but I’ve hardly seen any trans men being asked to talk about their experiences on cable news channels (for instance). Do you think “the public” has an easier time accepting trans women than trans men?
First of all, I want to congratulate the trans women who have been all over the media for being so brave. They have done so much for the community, and I can’t thank them enough. I think that they are “passing” in a way that is very accessible to the cisgender community, and these are people that folks can relate to in the way where they can look at them and think, “Oh, you look like me.” I think that definitely has affected it. Also, being a trans man, it has been very scary to be out. The amount of violent reactions that people have to trans people, especially trans people who aren’t particularly “passing” (as male or female) is very frightening. To come out and be forward with your trans identity can be very scary. It’s still a little scary for me! I do see more trans men stepping up to the plate, and I do see more trans men being represented in media. I don’t think there is any particular reason that trans women have been at the forefront… I really encourage never having a split between trans men and trans women. We are one strong trans community, and we are all family. I think everyone has their time. I’ve been watching the increase of attention towards trans men in media and couldn’t really tell you why it’s happening. I’ve just been sitting and watching and all of a sudden the past year things have kind of exploded and I’m just like, “This is awesome!”
Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
I have one driving life goal, and that is to make every person that I meet and every person in the world know that they belong here. I would love to spend all my time and all my resources helping my community — making sure that people have basic human rights, and get their basic human needs taken care of. I will definitely push as hard as I can to create a space where people don’t have to live in fear of being who they are. Growing up, I had some access to resources with the Internet, but now there is this huge community with YouTube and everything else online that’s really amazing. We can create a space where people don’t have to be afraid to be themselves. Ten years from now if I could just be spending all of my time doing that, however I can directly help the most, that’s really what I want to be doing. I want everyone to know that they’re loved.
Check out what Viktor has to say in his own words:
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Pride Celebrations Across the Country Mark Historic Supreme Court Ruling
Pride parades and festivals across the country had an extra reason to celebrate this weekend.
HRC.org
Ginormous Penis Scares Innocent Bystanders By Shooting Gold Confetti
A ginormous penis is reminding Norwegians to stop dicking around when it comes to practicing safe sex.
In case you haven’t heard, Norway is suffering an STI epidemic, earning the nation the appelation Europe’s “herpes hotspot.”
To combat this ignominious distinction, Norwegian sex-ed organization RFSU produced a PSA featuring a human-sized penis running up to unsuspecting strangers then ejaculating gold glitter on them.
Related: This Cute Doctor Wants To Rock Your World With His New Wonder Condom
“If I can help others, just by being a dick, there is nothing better,” the penis, aka Philip van Eck, told Tønsberg Blad.
See the video below. And don’t forget to wrap it up!
h/t: Mashable
Graham Gremore
Mississippi AG Gives County Clerks the Go-Ahead to Perform Same-Sex Marriages
Mississippi Attorney General Jim Hood has cleared the way for county clerks to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples after SCOTUS’ historic decision on marriage equality.
Hood contacted county clerks Monday letting them know they are free to marry same-sex couples. While some same-sex couples were married in Mississippi on Friday, Hood issued a statement saying that Mississippi would not immediately comply with the Court’s decision. As WREG reports, many clerks would not issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples on Friday because of that statement.
“The Supreme Court’s decision is not effective immediately in Mississippi. It will become effective in Mississippi, and circuit clerks will be required to issue same-sex marriage licenses, when the 5th Circuit lifts the stay of Judge Reeves’ order. This could come quickly or may take several days. The 5th Circuit might also choose not to lift the stay and instead issue and order, which could take considerably longer before it becomes effective.”
Today, Hood backtracked on those remarks. Via The Clarion-Ledger:
On Monday, the Attorney General sent an e-mail to clerks that his directive on Friday “seems to have been misinterpreted as prohibiting Circuit Clerks from issuing marriage licenses to same sex couples. The statement was merely meant to explain that an order of the Fifth Circuit would be necessary to lift the stay.”
Despite the fact the stay has not yet been lifted, the letter continued, “Obergefell is the law of the land. If a clerk has issued or decides to issue a marriage license to a same sex couple, there will be no adverse action taken by the Attorney General against that circuit clerk on behalf of the State … On the other hand, a clerk who refuses to issue a marriage license to a same sex couple could be sued by the denied couple and may face liability.”
The post Mississippi AG Gives County Clerks the Go-Ahead to Perform Same-Sex Marriages appeared first on Towleroad.
Sean Mandell
Mississippi AG Gives County Clerks the Go-Ahead to Perform Same-Sex Marriages
WATCH: Now's the Time to Defend the Marriage Victory
By all means, let’s celebrate this milestone achievement. But don’t think for a second that the work is done.
Matt Baume
www.advocate.com/politics/marriage-equality/2015/06/29/watch-nows-time-defend-marriage-victory
#LoveWins?
Love
/lev/
Noun
1. an intense feeling of deep affection.Win
/win/
Verb
1. be successful or victorious in (a contest or a conflict).
On Friday June 26, 2015, the Supreme Court of the United States announced its decision to legalize gay marriage. When I heard the ruling, I was choked up and instantly thought of two of my male friends who were getting engaged the next day while on a trip to New York. Minutes later, I began receiving emails and phone calls requesting a statement regarding how I’ll make my wedding planning business more “gay wedding friendly”. I was asked how I will start catering to all of the gay weddings coming my way. I’m acutely aware of the nature to exploit and benefit from moments such as these, but it threw me off. I didn’t get into this business to plan Black weddings, Asian weddings, White weddings, Gay weddings, etc. I got into this business to plan the most beautiful day of two people’s lives.
Last year I had the honor of planning the wedding of Lisa and D’Lovely. During our initial meeting, Lisa asked me how I felt about planning a gay wedding. She said repeatedly, “I’ve met the girl of my dreams and now I want my dream wedding.” I’ve always tackled each wedding with the same questions: “How many people will be attending? Where will the wedding be held? What’s the budget?” Race and gender have never played a part in my planning process. They wanted to have their wedding at The Georgian Terrace which hosted the premiere party of Gone With the Wind. Not only was it one of D’Lovely’s favorite movies, it was also the first time that an African American, Hattie McDaniel, won an Oscar. D’Lovely wanted to make a point of having the first black lesbian wedding in the very place that once excluded blacks. The layers of this moment were so deep and their love was definitely winning.
A few hours later, I began receiving text messages and phone calls asking if I was watching Obama’s eulogy for Senator Clementa Pinckney who was gunned down, along with eight others, in his church during Bible study for being black. It was an historic moment, for me, watching the president talk about race and saying so many things that I wish I had heard him say before. Earlier that morning he gave a speech about marriage equality and just hours later he’s giving a eulogy for a man who was murdered for his race. The slogan “love wins” was sprawled all over my Facebook and Instagram pages all morning but my celebration was cut short when I thought of the 5-year-old child who had to play dead in order to not be shot by the gunman. The moment literally took my breath away. Up until I saw Obama singing “Amazing Grace” I was here for love winning. I haven’t sung that song since I learned that it was written by a former slave owner who wrote it on his death bed, I digress…Obama and many others who felt the gravity of the moment and sang from their soul’s deepest crevice, were all winning.
I struggled all day with the feeling that there was a sense that the fight was over. The phrase “love wins” had a period at the end of it for me, after hearing about the growing number of burning churches in South Carolina over the weekend; the endless cell phone videos of innocent black bodies lying dead in the street without consequence to the murderer; the innocent black children who just wanted to attend a pool party but were held at gunpoint, dragged by their hair and flung to the ground… I went to bed feeling emotionally drained. On Saturday morning, I awoke to the news of Bree Newsome who snatched the confederate flag off of the pole in front of the State Capitol in South Carolina. Bree’s love of justice and activism and honor brought her to that moment. Bree Newsome was definitely winning. She won for so many of us.
Suddenly the phrase “love wins” had a comma at the end and not a period anymore. I had to talk through the contradictions that I perceived in order to come to a calm place again. In talking through everything, I received calls from a few friends who mistook my frustration for being opposed the SCOTUS ruling. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Love won on Friday June 26, 2015 and I look forward to more victories in this battlefield of love.
— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
HRC Provides Testimony Regarding LGBT Rights in Uzbekistan and Central Asia
Last week, HRC provided testimony for a hearing on Capitol Hill regarding “Civil and Political Rights in Uzbekistan and Central Asia.”
HRC.org
NYPD Officer Lets His Hair Down, Dirty Dances With Pride Parade Twerker
Hands up! Way up…! Bringing new meaning to the term “blue movie,” the snippet below captures a particularly game NYPD officer gleefully grinding against a perky Pride parader. Spread ’em…
Derek de Koff
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