Michael Sam Named to GQ's Men of the Year
The first openly gay NFL draftee gets yet another honor.
Annie Hollenbeck
www.advocate.com/sports/2014/11/18/michael-sam-named-gqs-men-year
Monthly Archives: November 2014
A 21st Century Modest Proposal
A 21st Century Modest Proposal
A Modest Proposal
For Redefining the Sanctity and Holiness of Marriage, In Order to Decrease the Current Divorce Rate in America, Allowing Children to Lead Unbroken Lives So That They Become Better Leaders For When They Inherit Our Society
Back in the 18th century, Ireland suffered a detrimental famine that decimated the country. During the famine, satirist Jonathon Swift wrote A Modest Proposal, a pamphlet detailing his belief that the Irish should eat their own children in order to survive. I’ve been thinking of what issues in America could use their own “modest proposal” and I think I’ve decided upon one that is relevant and relatable.
In recent years, the definitions of “family” and “marriage” have been in flux, causing much strife among politicians and their constituents. Great strides have been made in the last decade to ensure marriage equality for all Americans, especially following the decision to strike down DOMA in United States vs. Windsor. As of today, 33 states allow same-sex marriage, but this still is not enough. All 50 states should legally allow same-sex marriage. Further, the separation and divorce rates for opposite-sex couples are higher than ever. What kind of example is that to set for our children? For my purposes, I propose that we redefine the traditional notions of what a marriage is, as clearly the long-standing tradition of only one man and only one woman joining themselves together for life has, essentially, stopped working in 21st Century America. The federal government’s definition of marriage being only one man and only one woman has led to the breakdown of half of all these so-called “holy matrimonies,” forcing children to choose between one parent or the other, leading to awkward family reunions, alienation from both mother and father, and poor self image. Remember Milhouse and his parents’ messy divorce from The Simpsons? Do we really want a generation of Milhouse’s inheriting America?
Therefore, in order for our children, the very future of our country, to be happy, we must find a way to not allow them to grow up jaded and cynical towards marriage, family life, and the concept of romantic love. To do so, I propose that we ban all heterosexual marriages, defined as being the union of only one man and only one woman, and legalize homosexual marriage, defined as being the union of either only two men or only two women. As far as those who identify outside of the traditional gender binary (i.e. transgender, intersex, etc.), they are free to marry whosoever they choose; they have faced enough discrimination and prejudice, especially recently as the rate of homicide and hate crimes transgender people continues to rise. With my proposal, it is my hope that things will become just a little bit easier for my non-binary friends.
Marriage between two people of the same sex just makes more sense and is more pragmatic than marriage between those of opposite sex identifications. The benefits are both numerous and obvious.
For first, as I have already observed, the homosexuals have been waiting long enough for their chance to enjoy the legal, monetary, and social benefits of marriage. As openly homosexual people make up somewhere between 10-12% of our general population, they are guaranteed these long-awaited rights should they get married. In addition, there are many more men and women in the closet who certainly would get married should it become legal for them to marry the one they love.
Secondly, for genuine heterosexual people that are absolutely unwilling to partake in the world of same-sex sexual interaction and/or marriage, they will be permitted to engage in extramarital affairs without question, that is only if said adultery is communicated and understood by all parties involved. Partners are even allowed to move out and start “traditional nuclear families” should that be their desire. To that end, marriage can either be a love-based union, or a need-based title, neither of which could be legally questioned by any institution. Should these not work out in favor of the adulterous couple, the children at least have the comfort in knowing that there parents are still legally involved in a marriage to another person, and that that family will sustain despite trying times.
Thirdly, for children of those marriages that find one or both parents living with someone else of the opposite sex but still living near the legal marriage partner, they have the advantage of having more than one set of parents. They will grow up with a strong moral backbone, and will have excellent parenting skills should they become mothers or fathers thanks to the excessive parental presence. As they say, it takes a village to raise a child, and this arrangement would only create bigger, and, ideally, stronger villages.
Fourthly, for those heterosexuals who ever have been curious about what same-sex liaisons and/or marriage could be like, this is their perfect chance to bite the bullet and give their hand at experimentation. Should it not work out in the ideal, the same rules for moving out and starting their own families as previously mentioned still apply.
Fifthly, since married men and women cannot seem to be compatible marriage partners half the time, it could be argued that two married men or two married women could potentially be the solution to this problem, thus greatly decreasing the divorce rate in America, benefiting not only the parents, but also the children. No longer will kids have to jump from home to home, switching off parents. This will build their self image and confidence, allowing a stronger generation of people to inhabit the world left to them. Of course, if the divorce rate stayed the same, we could at least say that we tried.
Sixthly, gone will be the days of politicians and other public figures being exposed in same-sex trysts, as they will be the new norm. It will make our country stronger politically since we won’t be caught up in unnecessary sexual scandals. Similarly, closeted homosexuals will not be forced to awkwardly marry someone of the opposite sex.
There are many other positives to this particular marriage definition. I cannot think of a single disadvantage or objection one could raise about it, unless we bring religion into the picture. However, in order to live in the country that our Founding Fathers intended us to live in, we cannot allow religion or dogma to fog our perspective. As such, marriages will no longer be performed by religious leaders; instead, all marriages will be administered through government officials. Those joining themselves together in the union are at their own discretion in terms of how beautiful they wish their ceremony to be, as I am sure most would prefer something emotional and planned out rather than a simple, bureaucratic exchange of words and signatures.
All that being said, I am interested in seeing other ideas in regard to lowering divorce rate and making lives happier for American youth. However, let us remember the staggering statistics: 53% of all marriages between a man and a woman in America end in divorce and 41% of all men and women in America admit to infidelity. With my definition of marriage, infidelity would not be as high of a problem, as it would be almost expected of heterosexuals that get married to someone of the same sex.
Though I do have some personal interest in this matter, being a homosexual male, I confess that I have no desire to ever get married to anyone, so whether or not people choose to accept my proposal is of rather low importance to me. I am but 23 years old, so if I do change my mind, same-sex marriage will likely be legalized in all 50 states by that time, making the true purpose of my proposal, which is to bring marriage equality to LGBTQ people in America, a moot point.
Ted Osius Confirmed as U.S. Ambassador to Vietnam
Ted Osius Confirmed as U.S. Ambassador to Vietnam
Osius becomes the seventh openly LGBT individual to serve as an ambassador abroad. With more than 90 million citizens, Vietnam is the world’s 13th most populous country.
HRC.org
Unsurprisingly, ENDA Has Little Chance of Passage in 'More Lame Than Usual' Lame Duck Session
Unsurprisingly, ENDA Has Little Chance of Passage in 'More Lame Than Usual' Lame Duck Session
An update on the continually-troubled Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) from Chris Johnson at the Washington Blade:
Hopes persisted the measure would move forward when the dust settled after Election Day, perhaps as a floor amendment in the Senate to the fiscal year 2015 defense authorization bill, but now that Republican gains flipped control of the chamber, even that method of getting ENDA to President Obama seems unlikely to succeed.
Two Senate aides familiar with the defense authorization bill, who spoke on condition of anonymity, told the Washington Blade that it’s unlikely the Senate will allow any floor amendments to the legislation — let alone pro-LGBT legislation that would prohibit employers from discriminating on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity.
Said Rep. Mark Pocan (D-WI): “I think it’s going to be hard. For most of the legislation, they’re going to wait until January when they have a Republican House and a Republican Senate. So, I think the lame duck session could be more lame than usual perhaps because of that, and I would be really surprised if much of substance especially around LGBT issues moves.”
Andy Towle
All Access: Inmigrante Latina y LGBT habla de la inmigracion y temas LGBT
All Access: Inmigrante Latina y LGBT habla de la inmigracion y temas LGBT
GLAAD: All Access es una serie de videos de GLAAD en la cual entrevistamos los protagonistas de las noticias, las personas que forman parte de los hechos culturales que son más exitosos y…
Wonder Woman: A New Era Begins
Wonder Woman: A New Era Begins
The Advocate geeks out with the new monthly Wonder Woman comic book creative team and gets an exclusive peek at this week’s issue.
Brian Andersen
www.advocate.com/arts-entertainment/geek/2014/11/18/wonder-woman-new-era-begins
Queers Need a Healthcare Bill of Rights — and It's Here!
Queers Need a Healthcare Bill of Rights — and It's Here!
The first year of treatment for my depression had done nothing. And — saying nothing — I had slowly given up on receiving care and dealt with things myself. It was only then, halfway through my junior year of college, that I decided to tell my doctor he had failed.
“You stopped taking the medicine? And seeing the therapist?”
I nodded but quickly added that he didn’t need to worry. “I’m not totally better, but I’ve resolved a lot of my issues with coming out, and things aren’t as bad as they were — even without the therapist or pills.”
It took a moment to settle in. “Coming out?” he repeated. “You’re gay?” And then his tone turned from surprised to resigned, even hurt. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Like many queer youth, the initial process of coming out horrified me, especially the thought of coming out to someone with the authority to decide what medical care I should receive, someone who knew my most private information, someone whose actual job was to get inside my head. I feared I would be treated terribly and that my care would suffer. I had no idea if I had rights that would prevent that.
But just as importantly, I didn’t know it was relevant for the doctor to know I was queer, and since he never asked, I waited months to tell. Instead of feeling comfortable with my doctor and getting the care I needed, I added months of torment to my already fractured life.
A year ago, when I told Dr. Scout, the director of LGBT Healthlink, that I wanted to create an LGBT healthcare bill of rights, I was not surprised to learn that he had thought the same for years. Together with Andrew Shaughnessy of Promo Fund, we got to work drafting a document that would explain to LGBT people what they should expect when they see a medical provider, what rights protect their access to quality care, and what they can do if they are wronged. And we based it all on one starting principal that, while simple, is also critical in our collective fight for justice:
Queer people are not receiving quality health care, and they deserve to be.
Today, along with 40 local and national partners, we’re excited to announce the launch of our Healthcare Bill of Rights. A Web-based portal that’s half consumer guide and half call to arms, the Bill of Rights will help LGBT people nationwide understand their rights and take action to get care. Downloadable versions range from a pocket-sized snapshot to a detailed compendium, and additional resources on the Web can help people get what they need.
LGBT health disparities will not be finished overnight. For example, nothing will instantly stop us from smoking at a 68-percent higher rate than the overall population. But part of the reason that we have disparate rates of tobacco use, mental-health issues, and cancer (to name a few) is that we’re not getting good care. Too often we don’t know what good care is, we don’t seek care at all, or we simply don’t get what we need from providers.
Our lives matter, our bodies matter, and our sexualities and genders matter. They matter to us, and they should matter to our providers to inform and improve care. It starts with education, and if we can’t educate every doctor, nurse, and administrator in the country, we can at least educate ourselves.
Sometimes I wonder how life would be different if I could travel in time and educate my 20-year-old self, who thought it was better to go it alone than talk to a doctor. I wonder how many fewer nights I might have cried in my dorm-room shower, running the water so no one would hear. I wonder if I would not today feel like I lost a decade of youth.
But for those of us who made it through, there’s no time to look back and wonder. The struggle continues for all of us, especially those at the margins of even our own community. I hope the Healthcare Bill of Rights will be a step, however small, in our long march toward equality.
Question for Anti-Marriage Activists: Why Can Charles Manson Get Married But Gay People Can’t?
Question for Anti-Marriage Activists: Why Can Charles Manson Get Married But Gay People Can’t?
Have you heard the news about Charles Manson?
HRC.org
PHOTOS: Is It Just Us Or Is Jesse Metcalfe Even Hotter When He Feigns Poverty?
PHOTOS: Is It Just Us Or Is Jesse Metcalfe Even Hotter When He Feigns Poverty?
Even when Jesse Metcalfe is living in squalor, we still wouldn’t mind heading back to his place for a night cap. Photographer Stephen Busken snapped a bearded Jesse in what is most certainly not Jesse’s actual living scenario, but it does make for a satisfying fantasy.
See him giving us major blue collar blue balls as Stephen captures him in all manners of undress, from sweaty underwear clad prayers to kicking back with a brew and some deep thoughts.
h/t Homorazzi
Dan Tracer
Florida Congresswoman's Transgender Son Changes Her Views On LGBT Community
Florida Congresswoman's Transgender Son Changes Her Views On LGBT Community
Florida Congresswoman Ileana Ros-Lehtinen (R-FL.) disclosed in an interview with CBS Miami last night that her views have changed on LGBT people after coming to terms with her transgender son’s transition reports Mediaite. Her son Rodrigo, born Amanda, started the transition process in 2007, and he officially went public with his identity in the interview that aired last night. Ros-Lehtinen is 100 percent supportive of her son’s decision.
Said Ros-Lehtinen:
“As parents we wanted to make sure Rigo understood we were totally fine with it. We wanted to make sure he was safe. Our society is sometimes not inviting and not caring enough and there is no mystery that LGBT kids when they are younger are bullied.”
Rep. Ros-Lehtinen originally voted for the Defense of Marriage Act back in 1996, but she is the only Republican to vote for its repeal. Although Rodrigo’s mother is a part of a political party that aims to derail LGBT rights, Lehtinen’s son loves her dearly.
Said Rodrigo:
“I think she’s genuinely a good person, she may be Republican and I may not be, but she cares about people enough and the tide of history is going so much in that direction.”
Rep. Ros-Lehtinen also gave advice on how parents should react to their children coming out to them. Fortunately, none of her suggestions included conversion therapy as a solution, which some members of her party are proponents of.
Said Ros-Lehtinen:
“Don’t freak out, stay calm and don’t be afraid. Love your child because that person is your child whether it’s the person you wanted him or her to be or not. That’s my advice to parents, never, never reject your child. That’s unconditional love no matter what.”
Anthony Costello
