'You're Really Nice, but I Don't Date Black Guys': Racism or Preference? (VIDEO)

I’m From Driftwood is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit archive for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer stories. New stories are posted on the site every Wednesday.

Nelson Moses Lassiter was excited about coming to terms with his sexuality. He imagined that, upon venturing out into the gay scene, he’d encounter a world more accepting than the one he was used to. What he discovered was not unlike the one he came from, though. He recalls what happened after hitting it off with a guy at a bar:

I was like, “Oh, would you want to grab a drink sometime?”

And he’s like, “You’re really, really sweet, you’re really nice, but I don’t date black guys.” And he’s just like, “Well, you know, they’re just not my type.”

And I’m like, “Well, what does that mean? You just don’t like me because I’m black? That’s weird.”

It wasn’t long after that experience that Nelson encountered more racism, this time from a black friend:

He was actually rather upset at the fact that I was dating a white guy. We were hanging out, and I was telling him about this guy, and he was just like, “Why are you dating white people? You know that they don’t like us.”

And I was like, “What do you mean ‘They don’t like us’? Because I’m dating someone who likes me a lot. So what are you getting at?”

And he goes, “What? You think you’re too good for your own race?”

Hear what Nelson has to say about racism in the LGBTQ community in the video below.

WATCH:

For more stories, visit I’m From Driftwood, the LGBTQ Story Archive.

www.huffingtonpost.com/nathan-manske/youre-really-sweet-im-just-not-into-black-guys-racism-or-preference_b_6401436.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices

Looking, Pride And Sam Smith Top The Year In Queer Entertainment

Each year there’s chatter about how queer culture has finally reached the mainstream, but there’s no denying that 2014 was a benchmark. We were literally everywhere you looked. RuPaul ruled with airwaves with her game-changing hit RuPaul‘s Drag Race and was a staple in headlines after a misguided columnist for The Advocate called the icon “transphobic.” Even several of Ru’s burgeoning performers became superstars, such as Bianca Del Rio became a ubiquitous, but very welcome presence. On the music front, new songs from our Queen Madonna came out months ahead of schedule. Sam Smith was touted as the second coming of Adele. The debate over whether James Franco was gay-baiting us with his queer-themed projects and teasing Instagram posts took second stage when he got served by Nick Jonas. All things considered, 2014 was a very good year.

So scroll down for the TV shows, films and music that were truly standouts during a very progressive year.

TV

Winner: Looking

Honorable mentions: Transparent, The Normal Heart, RuPaul‘s Drag Race

It’s been a banner year for LGBTs on TV. Amazon’s original series Transparent won wide acclaim, particularly for Jeffrey Tambor as a trans woman of a certain age, a character based on creator Jill Soloway’s father. Ryan Murphy always makes the list for his LGBT-inclusive projects and foremost among them was his adaptation of Larry Kramer’s searing, fact-based The Normal Heart delivered an indelible history lesson to younger gays while reminding older viewers of the horrors they survived. Murphy also filled his deranged anthology American Horror Story: Freak Show with a queer sensibility and cast numerous LGBT actors such as Eve Erkin as Amazon Eve and Matt Bomer as a tragic gay hooker. Gay storylines and fully dimensional characters popped up on countless network series, such as The Comeback, Scandal, Marry Me and How To Get Away With Murder, which featured gay sex scenes so racy that conservative viewers complained to creator Shonda Rhimes, who promptly shut that bullshit down. Looking, HBO’s insightful dramedy about a group of friends in San Francisco with relationship problems, received some criticism from viewers for its leisurely pacing, but haters can tune into any of the aforementioned programs for speedier thrills. We love Looking not just because it’s one of the few series written, produced and directed by gay people, as well as starring out actors Jonathan Groff and Russell Tovey, but because it subtly and convincingly portrayed the complexities of everyday life. It’s the pro-sex series many of us have been hoping for and we can’t wait for season two.

Film

Winner: Pride

Honorable mentions: The Skeleton Twins, Stranger By The Lake, The Imitation Game

Stranger By the Lake stunned viewers with its gritty sex. Gay fave Benedict Cumberbatch did justice to the story of late queer hero Alan Turing in the riveting The Imitation Game. Bill Hader’s astonishing performance as a suicidal gay man in The Skeleton Twins made the comedy-drama a must-see. The Brazilian drama The Way He Looks was spellbinding. The documentary The Case Against 8, which examined the historic battle for marriage equality in California, was short-listed for an Academy Award. Plus, on a shallow note, we finally got a brief peek at the prodigious penises of Ben Affleck and Neil Patrick Harris in the chilling Gone Girl. But Pride, which tells the true story of a gay rights group who went to the aid of striking coal miner’s in Thatcher-era Britain, was not only a compelling drama, it was one of the year’s most buoyant crowd-pleasers.

 Music

Winner: Sam Smith, In The Lonely Hour

Honorable mentions: Sia, 1000 Forms of Fear; Fly Young Red, “Throw That Boy Pussy;” Jimmy Somerville, “Travesty”

If anything good came from all the hacking scandals of the year, it’s that eternal Queen of Pop Madonna responded to the early leak of demos from Rebel Heart, her due Spring 2015, album by releasing half a dozen of them on iTunes. Bi pop star Sia delivered one the year’s biggest and most inescapable hits “Chandelier.” Bearded Conchita Wurst was the take-no-prisoners winner of Eurovision. Fly Young Red dropped what was undoubtedly the year’s raunchiest jam “Throw That Boy Pussy,” while Drag Race fave Adore Delano released several songs that quickly became queer anthems. Veteran queer artist Jimmy Somerville previewed his upcoming disco album with the release of the thrillingly retro “Travesty.” But let’s all give it up for Sam Smith, who with his rich baritone all-but-owned radio and iTunes this year. His debut album In the Lonely Hour heralded a brilliant new talent and sold more than a million copies.

Jeremy Kinser

feedproxy.google.com/~r/queerty2/~3/_XATd_yZ5N0/looking-pride-and-sam-smith-top-the-year-in-queer-entertainment-20141231

California Gov. Jerry Brown Appoints Openly Gay Lawyer To Head Department of Fair Employment and Housing

Charles Pulliam-Moore

www.towleroad.com/2014/12/california-gov-jerry-brown-appoints-openly-gay-lawyer-to-head-department-of-fair-employment-and-hous-1.html

Gay Men: What Is Your New Year's Contribution?
January is often the month when many of us feverishly start to fulfill or come up with what we want to change in our own lives in the coming year. We become a nation of wide-eyed idealists, hell-bent on doing more, becoming more and repairing the so-called chinks in our armor.

While I’m certainly all for personal growth and developing ourselves as gay men (and humans), it’s super easy to get sucked into that rat race, becoming a human doing rather than a human being.

I adore this quip from Lily Tomlin:

“The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.”

So, let’s take a moment and shift our mindsets. As gay men, our own “resolutions” and plans for improvement vary widely. Some want to lose weight and get “fit”, while others want to make it big, landing that corner office or singing in the spotlight on Broadway. Others still hope to take adventures cross-country or overseas, soaking up all life has to offer. Some hope for a new relationship, a revitalized relationship, the means to take care of an ailing parents, or completely starting anew.

Step back, for a moment, from this dizzying game of success. The rat race. The rapid, doing, doing, doing that often leaves us exhausted and knocks our priorities out of whack. Slow down. Take a deep breath in and cleansing breath out.

Now, step into this idea of contribution. Contribution is all about what you are bringing to the table of humanity.

In the book “The Art of Possibility”, which I highly recommend, the authors note that when we live from a place of contribution, we escape the seduction of comparison and the black and white thinking of “failure” and “success.”

Imagine waking up each morning and asking yourself: How will I be a contribution today? How will I be a gift to others? This shift in thinking gets me so excited, not only for my personal life, but for what all of us can create, next year, in our own community.

What if, as gay men, we stepped into the new year with this insatiable thirst for contribution to the gay men around us?

How will you bring more light into our community in 2015? What small gestures can you take or make to help enrich the lives of the gay men around you? What would you say? What would you do?

I firmly believe that gay men are uniquely gifted with being the people we are. We are here to shed some light for the rest of humanity about what it means to be human. For me, this includes inserting graciousness where there is little. Forgiving, when rage is more popular or seems fitting. Being gentle when the crowd is hoping for revenge. Being thoughtful when it’s often easy to stay wrapped in our patterns of thoughtlessness.

As we all head into 2015, I want every gay man to think about the contribution he can be to his community, family, friends, and to the larger LGBTQ community. How will you be of service? This isn’t limited to “community service,” which we often put into an “other” category.

Wake up with that question: How will I be a contribution today, in every area of my life?

www.huffingtonpost.com/joshhersh/what-is-your-new-years-contribution_b_6396074.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices

Newspaper Tweets, Deletes Aaron Rodgers Penis Joke Just In Time For Everyone To Take A Screen-Shot

The St. Paul Pioneer Press ran a story Tuesday about the good luck charm of Packers’ quarterback Aaron Rodgers — the beard of a sideline technician. Rodgers is known to give it a little yank for good luck during games. OK, fun little fluff piece.

But whoever is running the Press’ Twitter feed didn’t think the story was quite fun enough, and went ahead and posted this gem:

The post was quickly deleted, and the Press offered blogger Romanesko this defense:

If anyone lost their job over the Tweet, be sure to get in touch with us. There’s got to be a place for you at Queerty.

h/t: Deadspin

Dan Tracer

feedproxy.google.com/~r/queerty2/~3/WpbuIqzKc7w/newspaper-tweets-deletes-aaron-rodgers-penis-joke-just-in-time-for-everyone-to-take-a-screen-shot-20141231

Dan Savage: Prosecute Transgender Teen Leelah Alcorn's Parents for Abuse

Andy Towle

www.towleroad.com/2014/12/savagealcorn.html