Is 'Coming Out' a Western Construct?
A couple weeks ago, I contacted my cousin in Iran to ask him a few questions relating to my research paper on gender and sexual politics in Iran. As an Iranian-American who is pretty passionate about LGBT issues, I was beyond excited to hear my cousin’s perspective. I wanted to be sure that I went into the conversation with an unassuming and open-minded attitude. This, I came to find, was much easier said than done.

I started by asking him if he knew of any people who are “out of the closet,” what I preemptively presumed to be a rather simple question. My cousin took a quick pause and responded by asking me what “out of the closet” meant. Assuming an English to Farsi translation issue was causing my cousin’s confusion, I tried to reframe my question by asking him if he knew of any people who are publicly gay, people who have announced their homosexuality to their friends and family. He responded by asking me why anyone would do that.

I immediately assumed my cousin’s lack of knowledge about “coming out” signified that homosexuals in Iran endure adversity. The fact that my 20-or-so year-old, relatively liberal cousin did not know of any “out” homosexuals proved to me that homosexuality is completely taboo in Iranian society. I found the answer I was subconsciously thirsty for right off the bat — homosexuals are oppressed in Iran.

I moved onto my next question. I asked my cousin if he broadly had any knowledge of same-sex practice in Iran. He told me that, in his experience, many Iranians experiment with homosexuality. He said that this most often occurs in the younger generations at parties and social gatherings, though he did mention that some older married men secretly have male lovers. I was shocked; how could such seemingly fluid sexuality exist in a society that, according my cousin, did not have “out” homosexuals?

I did some research. Mahdavi Paris’ “Passionate Uprisings: Young People, Sexuality and Politics in Post-Revolutionary Iran” clarified a lot of my confusion. In this article, Mahdavi explains that many young Iranian people, as part of the greater underground “sexual revolution,” experiment with homosexuality. They see it as a way to resist conservative, seemingly outdated societal norms the Iranian government imposes. Same-sex experimentation, for many, is an extension of youthfulness, nonconformity, and fun — not necessarily any indicator of identity.

Why is Western society — myself included — so obsessed with pulling people into certain categories? In an era when sexuality is increasingly understood to be a fluid spectrum, why must we assume that any non-oppressive society must have its fair share of “out-of-the-closet” homosexuals?

All too often, I hear people obsessing over whether someone is “gay” or “straight.” This inherently makes it difficult for a heterosexual-leaning person to experiment with the same sex without receiving judgment. Identity is built by the experiences, places, people, thoughts, creeds, and so on in our lives. It is practically impossible to monolithically group identities together on the grounds of perceived commonalities. We may be forcing non-heteronormative people to flee towards “gay” or “straight” as safe-havens, even if they might not necessarily fit the associated paradigms. In the growingly “progressive” West, the gay-straight binary ironically fosters prejudice against those who might fall in between and those who might not see their sexuality as indicative of their identity.

We need to be aware of our own cultural constructs in our discourse on gender and sexuality in other parts of the world. While there may be some Iranians who fit into the Western homosexual paradigm, there seems to be a significant Iranian population that does not see experimentation as a part of their identity and thus does not feel the need to “come out.” Trying to understand foreign phenomena through the lens of our own is extremely dangerous and can engender a Western-superiority complex. It may impose the need for other places to play “cultural catch-up,” blinding us from our own shortfalls in the process.

More than anything, my conversation with my cousin allowed me to better understand some of the weaknesses of the Western-supported model of sexuality. Maybe, instead of solely criticizing sexual politics in Iran and elsewhere, Western society should also be open towards learning from these different experiences and modes of living. Doing so may help us move past the Western superiority complex and enter a phase of cross-cultural collaboration, improvement, and learning.

www.huffingtonpost.com/ali-ahmadi/is-coming-out-a-western-construct_b_6226434.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler Are Ready to Inject Some Silliness Into Another Golden Globes: VIDEO

Kyler Geoffroy

www.towleroad.com/2014/11/tina-fey-and-amy-poehler-are-ready-to-inject-some-silliness-into-another-golden-globes-video.html

10 Tweets That Perfectly Describe Your Family's Awkward Thanksgiving

These tweets feel your pain.

read more

Jami Smith

www.advocate.com/comedy/2014/11/29/10-tweets-perfectly-describe-your-familys-awkward-thanksgiving

10 Good Reasons To Get A Flu Shot
By Melaina Juntti for Men’s Journal

How many times have you heard you should get a flu shot? There’s good reason for the hype: Over the past few years, the influenza vaccine has prevented millions of flu cases and tens of thousands of related hospitalizations, according to Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Although an increasing number of people are getting vaccinated every year, more than half of American men still aren’t doing it, for a variety of reasons, most of which aren’t backed by science. “Men have this macho sense that if they do get the flu, they can tough it out,” says William Schaffner, M.D., chair of the Department of Preventive Medicine at Vanderbilt University. “But influenza is a potentially dangerous virus that can send a totally healthy young man to the emergency room within 48 hours. I’ve seen my fair share of 26-year-olds with no underlying illness who suddenly can’t breathe, have a high fever, and must be put in the intensive care unit.” Even if it doesn’t get that grave, the flu can knock you out of commission for days or even weeks.

The vaccine isn’t perfect, and it doesn’t guarantee 100 percent that you won’t get influenza, but experts agree that it’s far and away your best bet for bucking the flu. If you’re still not convinced, here are 10 more reasons why you should get vaccinated.

You Can Spread The Flu Even If You Don’t Get Sick

According to Harvard School of Public Health, 20 to 30 percent of people who carry the influenza virus never experience flulike symptoms. Yet it’s still contagious. “Young, healthy people especially need to get vaccinated because they often get infected and never know it,” Schaffner says. “Either their symptoms are mild or they have none at all, so they’re out there inadvertently spreading the virus to others — girlfriends, coworkers, even people at gym.” If any of those people have a weaker immune system than you — or if they’re simply not as lucky — they could get hit hard with symptoms even though you never did. “No one wants to be a flu spreader,” Schaffner says. “Get vaccinated and be a flu preventer instead.”

You Use Your Smartphone Constantly
Now that you use your smartphone to answer emails, check Fantasy stats and watch game highlights, you’re touching it constantly, holding it right up to your face and carrying it everywhere you go. Because of this, and because smartphones have hard, plastic surfaces that viruses easily cling to, experts say mobile devices are sneaky transporters of the flu. And when’s the last time you cleaned your phone? Probably not recently enough. The only real way to protect yourself from your flu-harboring device is to get vaccinated.

It’s Available Everywhere
It’s easier than ever to find a flu vaccine. Most of the major drug stores — Walgreens, CVS, Duane Reade — and even Target and many grocery stores now offer vaccination, many without requiring an appointment. So not only do you not have to see your doctor, you don’t even have to go someplace that you’re not going anyway. You should see the doc, however, if you have a serious medical condition or a severe egg allergy, because most vaccines contain a scant amount of egg protein. To find the closest place to get vaccinated, type in your zip code at flu.gov. Get on it, though, because there’s a limited number of flu vaccines available each year.

It’s Usually Painless
No one likes to get jabbed with a needle, and now you don’t even have to. You can skip the shot altogether and get the vaccine as a nasal mist instead. Schaffner says it’s just as effective as the shot for those under age 50.

It’s Usually Free (Or Really Cheap)

“Virtually all public and private health insurance plans cover the flu vaccine,” Schaffner says. “Especially now, since the Affordable Care Act has made it so many more people get insurance. And as they move to private insurance, those plans now have to cover preventive health measures including the flu vaccine.” But even if you’re uninsured, or if your plan has a deductible and you have to pay for the vaccine out of pocket, pony up. It usually costs about $20.

It’s Can’t Give You The Flu
“The most common myth is that you can get influenza from the flu vaccine,” Schaffner says. “Give it up. That’s never been true.” Here’s what’s really going on: It takes a week or two for the vaccine to take hold in your body. So if you happen to get sick almost immediately after getting a flu shot, you were already coming down with something. The vaccine did not make you sick.

It Might Spare You A Heart Attack
It’s true. A study published in JAMA last October found that adults who’d gotten a flu shot were 36 percent less likely to suffer a heart attack or stroke within the next year than those who weren’t vaccinated. According to study author Jacob Udell, M.D., a cardiologist at the University of Toronto, influenza causes inflammation throughout your whole body, which can cause the plaque that’s built up in your arteries to dislodge and form a blood clot. Blood clots often lead to heart attack or stroke. However, if you’ve been vaccinated and you do get exposed to the flu, Udell says your body will be ready to mount an immune response to tame this inflammation before it turns deadly.

You’ll Save Sick Days
An estimated 111 million workdays are lost to the flu each year, sending $7 billion worth of productivity down the drain. Your coworkers certainly won’t want you around if you’re flulike. But even if you work from home, good luck getting anything done when you’re coughing, sneezing, sweating and shivering — all at once. And while the worst of the flu might last only a few days — if you’re lucky — you probably won’t be back at full speed for a week or more. Wouldn’t you rather keep a few sick days on hand so you can sneak away on a golf trip once spring hits?

You Might Hold A Baby

Babies under 6 months can’t get the flu shot, yet they are way more susceptible to influenza than you are. Plus, infants and toddlers are more likely than adults to be hospitalized or even die from the flu. Even if you don’t have a baby, one of your siblings, friends or neighbors probably does. Chances are pretty good that, at some point this fall or winter, you’ll spend time with the kid — you may even have to play dad for a minute while your sister digs through the diaper bag. Don’t put the little guy or girl at risk. Get vaccinated.

No, You’re Not Padding Big Pharma’s Pockets
There has been quite a bit of speculation that Big Pharma fabricates flu-phobia in order to convince millions of Americans to shell out dough on vaccines. But the truth is the flu shot is not a big moneymaker for drug firms, says Shaffner. “And it’s definitely not the drug companies telling everyone they need a flu shot,” says Schaffner. “It’s a panel of very smart public health experts.” Bottom line: If you’re not getting vaccinated because you think you’re taking a stand against a corporate cash grab, your reasoning doesn’t hold water.

More from Men’s Journal:
10 Ways to Protect Yourself this Cold & Flu Season
How to Avoid Getting Sick
The Truth About Fighting Colds

www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/11/29/reason-get-flu-shot-why_n_6194600.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices

Russell Tovey Finds True Love, Robbie Rogers Goes To The Dogs And More On Instagram

This week, Lance Bass revealed that he still gets called the f-word, Mean Girls‘ Jonathan Bennett broke two ribs dancing to “The Wind Beneath My Wings” (!!) and Robbie Rogers shared what goes on in the locker room. Here’s what happened on Instagram:

Tuesdays are for triceps, according to Alex Minsky.

  Listen. Two a days ?? Tuesday: Arms Standing Overhead Tricep Dumbell Extension 4×10 ???????? are fun   A photo posted by Alex Minsky (@mminskyy) on Nov 11, 2014 at 8:55pm PST

Russell Tovey has found true happiness — and it doesn’t involve Jonathan Groff.

Happiness is a dog called Rocky #frenchie #frogdog #frenchbulldog #instafrenchie #rocky #family Una foto publicada por Russelltovey (@russelltovey) el Nov 11, 2014 at 6:02 PST

Robbie Rogers spent Thanksgiving with his best friend.

Happy Thanksgiving from J & I! Een foto die is geplaatst door Robbie Rogers (@robbierogers) op Nov 11, 2014 at 2:27 PST

Blake Skjellerup enjoyed an intimate Thanksgiving feast for two.  

Thanksgiving for two! Una foto publicada por Blake Skjellerup (@blakeskjellerup) el Nov 11, 2014 at 2:42 PS

Michael Buble isn’t afraid to battle holiday shoppers.

1st day of Xmas shopping. #Ilovexmas #Ihatepeople #picoftheday #MBworldtour A photo posted by Michael Bublé (@michaelbuble) on Nov 11, 2014 at 8:58am PST

Madonna took Rocco to Malawai.

He’s Polo Im Gucci! #raisingmalawi #livingforlove A photo posted by Madonna (@madonna) on Nov 11, 2014 at 2:43pm PST

Hot model Pablo Hernandez gets some color before the White Party.

Getting some color before White Party tonight. C’mon pelican! #pablohernandez #nofilter #sobe #gay #beach #selfie #belfie #miamibeach #nature A photo posted by Pablo Hernandez (@pablohernandezofficial) on Nov 11, 2014 at 10:38am PST

Harry Louis‘ sweet tooth might spoil his perfect figure.

Do you know the feeling of “WTF happened last night”?!? Well, I’m kind of in it right now… Well, it’s no news flash to wake up with a frog instead of a prince…. Howerver… I have a “first” in my life… I’m having M&Ms hangover!!! Lol!!! Have a great weekend y’all!!! ???????????????????? Sabe akelas vezes que vc acorda se perguntando “o que aconteceu ontem a noite”?! Bom, to meio que nessa vibe, haha… Além de acordar com um sapo do meu lado (o que já aconteceu mais de uma vez, hahahhaha) estou tendo minha primeira “ressaca”… De M&Ms!!! Tenham um ótimo final de semana todos!!! ???????????????? Una foto pubblicata da Harry Louis (@harry_louis) in data: Nov 11, 2014 at 4:19 PST

E.J. Johnson strikes a pose.

Street scene @zoedove #nyc #family #teamthis A photo posted by EJ Johnson (@ejjohnson_) on Nov 11, 2014 at 8:00pm PST

Jason Carter goes topless.

Top down in November.. #California life! Have a fantastic Sunday friends. Xoxo #JJC #host

A photo posted by Jason J.Carter (@jasoncarterofficial) on Nov 11, 2014 at 12:07pm PST

Jeremy Kinser

feedproxy.google.com/~r/queerty2/~3/4WEfWbZ3dlM/russell-tovey-finds-true-love-robbie-rogers-goes-to-the-dogs-and-more-on-instagram-20141129