Peeing While Trans*
Never before did I think that relieving myself of bodily waste was a radical act.

It’s been reported on HuffPo and elsewhere that a number of states within the US – Florida, Kentucky, Arizona, Utah and Texas among them – have been or are considering legislation mandating that everyone use bathrooms consistent with their natal gender. Other states like Michigan already have similar legislation that criminalizes using the “wrong” bathroom as “disturbing the peace”, with “wrong” left open to whatever interpretation the authorities might want to apply.

Clearly these laws are aimed directly at transgender and gender nonconforming people. A transgender woman (a woman who has transitioned from male to female and lives each day as a woman) would be forced to use the men’s room. A transgender man (a man who has transitioned from female to male and lives each day as a man) would have no alternative but to use the women’s room. To say nothing of people whose genders are more ambiguous. Ultimately, it would criminalize transgender people for using the bathroom consistent with the gender they walk in every moment of their lives. This leaves my community with the question: To pee or not to pee?

I remember struggles in early transition to make sure I got it right: I might spend one day presenting male around my family, who I had yet to tell or who had yet to become comfortable… then another day at school or with friends while presenting female, around people I could trust and who were supportive of the identity I was working to gradually adopt.

When Nature called, I answered, in whichever bathroom matched my appearance. (My policy: if Nature calls, don’t let it go to voicemail.) When dressed like a woman, I used the women’s room; it seemed simplest and the least disruptive for everyone. I went in the stall, did my business, washed my hands and left. And as my gender presentation became more and more female, I stopped using the men’s room altogether.

I’m not going to joke sarcastically about ‘separate but equal’ bathrooms or question who will become the underwear or DNA police. And other bloggers have already written about how these laws make the world that much more unsafe for a group which is already facing severe discrimination and violence.

The personal is political, and there’s nothing more personal than sitting on the toilet. Now it’s political, too.

Behind these laws is fear. On the surface it might be the fear that transgender people are all child molesters, rapists, perverted guys in dresses or are somehow engaged in devious sexual activities that will ultimately lead to the downfall of Western civilization. As Michel Foucault wrote, it always seems to reduce to sex.

But I wonder if underneath all those arguments is the fear that the world is changing so incredibly fast and in ways so many people do not understand and cannot control. The fear that even some of the most basic, straightforward ‘truths’ society has relied on — that men are men and have sex with women, and that women are women and have sex with men — are breaking down. That black and white dichotomies are becoming infinite gradations of gray, or the multitudinous hues of a rainbow. That people are not so easily classified, and that the world which once seemed simple is becoming chaotic and unmanageable.

I’m not unsympathetic; feelings of loss of control are among of the biggest stressors we experience in life, they can shake our sense of stability and leave us adrift. In such moments we are suffering, overwhelmed with panic. We all have been there.

Our intuitive responses to fear and loss of control are so often the same. People turn to ‘fight or flight’, desperate attempts to regain control that might simultaneously push the triggers out of sight, out of mind. These could take the form of violence, like bashing and arrest, or they could take the form of ostracization, the shunning of whatever it is that activates the discomfort.

To some, transgender people have become proxies for the broader cultural change occurring before our eyes. We represent the breakdown of the social order. Our bodies and identities do not fit the old norms. And so the laws targeting us are a backlash, attempts to police that which seems confusing and to instill fear so as to push us into the shadows. If we are afraid for our physical and emotional safety, we hide, back in the closet. Which may be what the legislators intended.

But the world IS changing, like it or not. And as always, it is up to the oppressed to resist.

Transgender people have used public restrooms for the last sixty years, and a mass epidemic of trans*-related sexual assault has not occurred. You may not realize that you’ve very possibly already shared a restroom with one of us. We just want to live our lives, enjoy the pursuit of happiness and empty our bladders in peace like everyone else.

We’re here, we’re queer. Sometimes we carry placards and march in the streets. Sometimes we pee in the restrooms at the mall. Get used to it.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

www.huffingtonpost.com/laura-a-jacobs-lcswr/peeing-while-trans_b_7053582.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices

Watch: Sen. Booker Addresses Obergefell from Senate Floor

HRC.org

www.hrc.org/blog/entry/watch-sen.-booker-addresses-obergefell-from-senate-floor?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss-feed

What To Watch This Week On TV: A Must-See Snatch Game On 'Drag Race'

Bobby Hankinson

www.towleroad.com/2015/04/what-to-watch-this-week-on-tv-a-must-see-snatch-game-on-drag-race.html

Indiana governor’s approval rating plummets after disastrous anti-gay “religious freedom” bill
Indiana Governor Mike Pence — who frequently refers to himself as “a Christian, a conservative, and a Republican, in that order” — believed that the Religious Freedom Restoration Act (RFRA) would mobilize his conservative base. Instead, it created a backlash that has effectively torpedoed the Republican’s chance at a national office. According to a poll […]

salon.com.feedsportal.com/c/35105/f/648624/s/455cee70/sc/7/l/0L0Ssalon0N0C20A150C0A40C130Cindiana0Igovernors0Iapproval0Irating0Iplummets0Iafter0Idisastrous0Ianti0Igay0Ireligious0Ifreedom0Ibill0C/story01.htm

Marco Rubio Might Be the Most Antigay Presidential Candidate Yet

Rubio is the latest Republican presidential candidate to announce his bid, but he’s already racked up an extensive antigay record.

read more

Matt Baume

www.advocate.com/politics/election/2015/04/13/marco-rubio-might-be-most-antigay-presidential-candidate-yet

Not One More: Protect and Empower Trans Youth
The recent loss of San Diego transgender teen Taylor Alesana to suicide, marks the seventh such death in 2015. While trans visibility is increasing, and we’re seeing more positive representations in the media, our youth remain vulnerable and mostly unheard.

We all know that the teenage years are a very trying, very tumultuous time for any young person, but when you add being transgender to the mix, things get especially critical. The most recent National School Climate Survey, by GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Network), found that compared to other LGBT students, transgender students faced the most hostile school climates, with 80 percent of these young people reporting that they feel unsafe at school. Other national studies have shown equally alarming statistics: 73.7 percent of transgender students reporting being sexually harassed; 45 percent admitting to seriously considering killing themselves; and 43 percent having attempted suicide. These numbers are far higher than the 8 percent national average, as reported by the CDC.

Besides bullying, transgender youth face challenges in their daily lives related to lack of family support, lack of access to transgender related healthcare and services, lack of access to bathroom and locker rooms that match their gender identity, inability to express their gender due to dress codes and/or parental barriers, and deliberate misgendering and refusal to acknowledge preferred name, just to name a few.

So if you’re reading this, how can you make a difference?

Supporting transgender and gender non-conforming youth in our communities can help prevent suicides. These young people aren’t taking their lives because they’re weak, or selfish, or because they are attention seeking. Many youth could have simply run out of resources. Perhaps they aren’t killing themselves because they’re transgender — they’re doing it because they are being treated as sub human, and because other people’s ignorance has made day to day life can be too painful to bear.

A recent Pew study found that only 8 percent of people have ever (knowingly) met a transgender person. And sadly, society has a very thinly veiled repugnance for many aspects of being transgender, and what they assume we must be like. There is an obsession with our genitalia, and what we have or haven’t done surgically. We are accused of mutilating our bodies, we’re interrogated about how we experience sex and sexuality, and it seems no question is off limits when people talk to and about us. We are vilified by society for simply wanting to relieve ourselves in the bathroom we feel safe in, and are painted as rapists, child predators, exhibitionists, etc. Transgender people are still working hard just to be seen as human beings to much of society, and until this is achieved, the most vulnerable among us are at constant risk.

If you’re the parent of a child that has expressed to you that they are experiencing gender identity concerns, listen to them with an open mind and loving heart. Seek support from a professional, who is experienced in caring for trans youth. Give your child a safe, encouraging place to be able to self express. Support and advocate for them when/if they are ready to begin transitioning. Respect their preferred name and gender pronouns, and demand that same respect from others. Sometimes home can be a hostile environment for trans youth — always make yours a safe place to land, because the world outside your front door is hard enough.

Whether you’re a friend, co-worker, employer, or educator of someone who has come out to you as transgender (never assume), let them know that you support them fully. Listen to them! Never out them to others. Never suggest that they should refrain from identifying themselves as transgender, or judge their decisions in any way. Always respect their preferred name and gender pronouns. Advocate for all transgender people when you are confronted with transphobic attitudes and behaviors, suggest gender neutral bathrooms at your place of work, or your school. Lobby for the rights of trans people to decide for themselves which bathroom they belong in, if there is no gender neutral option. Do whatever you can to educate those around you, and raise your own children to be accepting of all people. Be a true, dedicated ally. If you want to learn more about how to get involved in transgender advocacy, visit the HRC, and also the National Center for Transgender Equality and the Transgender Law Center.

I don’t want you to come away from reading this thinking that being transgender is bad. There are many wonderful aspects of being a transgender person, and it is entirely possible to lead full, successful, happy lives. We are strong, resilient people. Many trans people have an increased empathy for others, as well as a willingness to be there to support others who may be struggling. We have an especially unique insight when it comes to understanding both genders. We have a profound perspective when it comes to personal growth and authenticity. Being transgender is not synonymous with self loathing and dysfunction. We have the capacity and the right to self love, and to lead rich, productive lives.

Above all else — listen. Listen to trans stories, and learn about trans lives. You can start right here, by listening to the amazing, smart, beautiful young trans people I’ve had the opportunity to talk to. Read their stories in the following slideshow, and take them to heart. They matter — and their voices matter.

If you are a transgender or gender-nonconforming person considering suicide, Trans Lifeline can be reached at 877-565-8860. LGBT youth (ages 24 and younger) can reach the Trevor Project Lifeline at 1-866-488-7386. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 can also be reached 24 hours a day by people of all ages and identities.

___________________

If you — or someone you know — need help, please call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. If you are outside of the U.S., please visit the International Association for Suicide Prevention for a database of international resources.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-cade-hughes/not-one-more-protect-empower-trans-youth_b_7054926.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices

Poll Shows Gov. Mike Pence is Deeply Damaged Following Destructive “Religious Liberty” Fight

Governor Mike Pence finds himself deeply damaged following the fight over Indiana’s “religious refusal” bill that put LGBT Hoosiers at risk for discrimination.
HRC.org

www.hrc.org/blog/entry/poll-shows-gov.-mike-pence-is-deeply-damaged-following-destructive-religiou?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss-feed

Leader Of Gay Sex Slave Ring Faces 155 Years In Prison For Making Men Hump For 20 Hours A Day

A Hungarian man faces 155 years in the slammer after being found guilty of running a gay sex slave operation out of his Miami home, The Miami Herald reports.

25-year-old Andras Janos Vass (pictured) was convicted of human trafficking and racketeering by a jury in Florida last Thursday. Prosecutors claim he and two henchmen ran a company called Never Sleep Inc., where they forced young men to prostitute themselves for up to 20 hours a day.

According to court documents, Vass met three victims, all in their early 20s, online. He told them they would make between $3,000 and $5,000 a month working as male escorts and offered the fly them to New York City. When the men arrived, however, they soon found themselves forced to live in a cramped one-bedroom apartment with five other male prostitutes and perform sex acts literally around the clock, either with johns or on live web cams. The victims were not paid for the work, though Vass and his fellow pimps raked in around $40,000 each per month.

To prevent the victims from escaping, Vass confiscated their travel documents and threatened them and their families back in Hungary. In 2012, he moved the operation from New York City to Miami, where he was eventually caught.

All three victims testified against Vass last week. A jury deliberated for barely 30 minutes before reaching a guilty verdict.

Vass’ henchmen, Gabor Acs and Viktor Berki, a former policeman in Hungary, are still awaiting trial.

The 25-year-old pimp now faces a minimum of 21 years and a maximum of 155 years in prison. His sentencing is scheduled for June 2.

Related stories:

Three Gay Hungarian Men Freed After Horrifying Years As Forced Sex Slaves

Brave Man Speaks About The Horrors Of Being A Gay Sex Slave

Transgender Woman Held Captive, Chained Naked Outside And Used As Sex Slave For Two Years

Graham Gremore

feedproxy.google.com/~r/queerty2/~3/Z6EYY0-nz6c/leader-of-gay-sex-slave-ring-faces-155-years-in-prison-for-making-men-have-sex-for-20-hours-a-day-20150413