How I Learned to Love 40 by Posing Naked
Disclaimer: This post may contain NSFW images.

The first time I ever saw what my own bare ass looked like in its entirety was more than a decade ago after visiting a men’s gay clothing-optional resort in Fort Lauderdale. A friend snapped a pic of me lounging naked on a raft in the pool and I remember being startled when I had the film developed weeks later (remember those days?) and there I was buoying in the buff above a scribbled shimmer of turquoise water — like a Hockney painting come to life.

In an era where everyone from out gay teenagers to middle-aged men and even seniors are snapping naked selfies for trade on hookup apps like Grindr, Scruff and DaddyHunt, it’s almost quaint to look at that picture now. But at the time it was a revelation. I had never before seen a complete view of my backside bare and knew even then the image reflected the spoils of youth.

Shortly thereafter I began entertaining the idea of hiring a photographer to do a professional nude photo shoot for the purposes of putting together a collection of images that would decades later serve as a time capsule of myself as a younger man. A few years went by… then a few more. Last year I turned 40, and it was official: My youth had departed a long time ago.

Aside from the inevitable anxieties about turning 40 placed upon us all by the culture, I greeted the beginning of my fifth decade with relative calm. My 30s had been quite the run and it was at last time for a new chapter. However, one thing I had let society convince me was that opportunities to make romantic connections would dwindle — and I resigned myself to that. But to the contrary they expanded exponentially. It was as if 40 was a magical number among guys seeking out older men or so called “daddies” and I had just entered the club.

This very much surprised me. When I was 22 and living in San Francisco, it wasn’t an aspiration among guys my age to openly seek out older men. The generation that had come before us had been severely scarred and diminished by the AIDS crisis and the drug cocktail that would transform the disease from a death sentence to a chronic condition was still in its nascent stage. In my youth there simply wasn’t a plethora of middle-aged men around to serve as role models, thus I felt emboldened at 40 to renew the idea of hiring a shutterbug to photograph me au naturel. After all, even younger gays who seek older men often fear being one themselves and I saw in this venture a symbolic opportunity to give them permission to age triumphantly.

I discovered Marlen Boro while browsing online and connected to his work right away. He’s a Minneapolis-based photographer who calls his portraits “Male Budoir” in that his work concentrates on naturalistic images of guys of every shape, age, size, color and body type captured mostly at home and at their most relaxed, intimate — and revealing. On his website I discovered hundreds of guys in various states of undress and erotic expression who were piercingly handsome and desirable whether or not they’d ever stepped foot inside a gym. I felt a kinship with this tribe and knew Boro would “get it right.” I contacted him right away.

We agreed upon a punishingly hot late July shoot. I’ve always loved Palm Springs in the summer when visitors to the region are scarce and the vastness of the Coachella Valley is intensely felt. As it happened, I was going to be working and traveling around California at that time anyway so Boro agreed to meet me at a meticulously restored mid-century home we discovered through AirBnB. It was an ideal setting.

But in the days leading up to our encounter a peculiar thing happened — I panicked. In the months prior to our shoot I had failed to get to the gym as often as I’d wanted. I felt out of shape, undesirable and old. I kept hoping Boro would flake and that I would be able to cancel and get my deposit back. All along I had convinced myself that the shoot was a hero’s journey designed to combat ageism and show our community that we’re sexy, vital and important at any age. Turns out it wasn’t the world that needed reassurance — it was me. This was about my own insecurities all along.

Of course, all of these worries turned out to be nonsense much like most of the self-destructive shit that rattles around in the human brain. Boro was a pro and put my fears at ease as we staked out spaces both inside and around the swimming pool to take pictures over the course of two unforgettable days. We even had the pleasure of driving out to the Salton Sea — a largely forgotten wasteland in the southeast corner of the state that barely registers in the sun-drenched minds of most Southern Californians but is nevertheless one of the most beautiful places on earth — and snap pics alongside the silver Ford Mustang I’d rented for the journey.

I waited with baited breath for the images to be completed and am happy to say that not only are they as sharp and beautiful as I’d hope they’d be, but also as startling and compelling as that first naked pic taken all those many years ago. It’s not my bare bum or any other body part that transfixes me this time around but something else entirely. The passing of years reveal in these images the kind of confidence, wisdom and undeniable sex appeal that comes only with the passage of time and for that I’m grateful (although it helps that my ass still looks amazing).

Welcome to 40. Whenever you get there and whoever you are and when you do, don’t forget to snap a few pics. This is one of the greatest eras of life and you’re going to want to remember it.

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www.huffingtonpost.com/jason-heidemann/how-i-learned-to-love-40-by-posing-naked_b_7095940.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices

Lady Gaga Was Once Tied To A Potential Sony Betty Boop Reboot Film

Charles Pulliam-Moore

www.towleroad.com/2015/04/lady-gaga-was-once-tied-to-a-potential-sony-betty-boop-reboot-film.html

How LGBT Professionals Can Stand Out at Work
For years, the dominant question for LGBT professionals was whether it was safe to be out at work. Though the battle is far from over – there are still 29 states where we can be fired for being gay and 32 for being transgender– the growing acceptance of gay marriage and the coming out of prominent executives like Apple’s Tim Cook has moved the discourse to the next level. The new question is, how can we best position ourselves for success as out professionals? In my new book Stand Out: How to Find Your Breakthrough Idea and Build a Following Around It, I discuss how to be recognized and respected for your strengths. Here are four strategies you can use to take your career to the next level.

Take control of your narrative. Particularly for LGBT professionals, there are plenty of people who are happy to tell our story for us – people who might question why “have to be so open about it” or why we’re “flaunting our identity.” Don’t assume that your good work speaks for itself. Instead, take control of your professional narrative by creating a one or two sentence description of where you’ve been in the past and how it adds value to what you’re doing in the present. Your narrative statement doesn’t need to involve your sexuality. The reason it’s important to have one is that it gives people an alternative story – the one you choose – for them to adopt, so that instead of thinking of you as “the gay one,” they’ll think of you as “the cross-cultural communication expert who’s using her skills to help grow our business in China.”

Build your network. For professionals in any minority group, it’s important to have a base of supportive, trusted colleagues you can turn to. They don’t have to be other LGBT people (though they could be). What’s of paramount importance is that they accept your sexuality and see you, above all else, as a talented professional. They can give you the feedback and support you need to be successful, and give you an initial boost (through talking you up or helping you access new opportunities) that ensures the rest of the world recognizes your abilities, as well. For more detailed networking strategies, I recommend Never Eat Alone and Who’s Got Your Back? by openly gay author Keith Ferrazzi, for a particularly relevant take.

Master your online presence. These days, hiring someone for a job or consulting engagement isn’t much different than deciding whether to go on a date with them: in almost all instances, you Google them first. That’s why it’s so critical to ensure your online presence reflects who you really are and how you’d like to be seen by others. In just an hour or two a week, you can create a robust and professional online presence by, for instance, writing one blog post per week on your LinkedIn account about issues and trends in your profession, or maintaining a Twitter account where you curate and share relevant information about your field. When people look you up, you’ll be showing your best self.

Become a convener. In Stand Out, I profile Robbie Samuels, an openly transgender speaker and consultant who simultaneously made a name for himself and brought together the Boston nonprofit community by starting a popular Meetup group called Socializing for Justice. He recognized that nonprofit advocates didn’t have enough casual, fun ways to come together, so he created one, launching biweekly events like Cocktails for Justice and Bowling for Justice. Within six weeks, 150 people were coming to each event; today, the group numbers more than 2500 members and has been running for nine years. Through the connections he made because of the group, Robbie was able to launch a side gig consulting, and eventually turned it into a full-time business. When you’re a convener, you help others make connections that matter to them – and they’re grateful to you for it.

Research by Sylvia Ann Hewlett and Karen Sumberg shows that openly gay employees may be more likely to succeed at work compared to their closeted counterparts, who expend too much energy worrying about managing their identity and how they’re perceived. Now that it’s increasingly accepted to be out, it’s time for LGBT professionals to move on to the next challenge: creating a powerful personal brand that marks them as leaders.

Dorie Clark is a marketing strategist who teaches at Duke University’s Fuqua School of Business. She is the author of Reinventing You and Stand Out, and you can receive her free Stand Out Self-Assessment Workbook.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

www.huffingtonpost.com/dorie-clark/how-lgbt-professionals-ca_b_7096428.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices

Yes, Someone Has Already Recreated the New Batman v Superman and Star Wars Trailers with LEGOs – VIDEOS

Kyler Geoffroy

www.towleroad.com/2015/04/yes-someone-has-already-recreated-the-new-batman-v-superman-and-star-wars-trailers-with-legos-videos.html

WATCH: Protestors Argue With Supporters of Antigay Michigan Repairman

Several protestors had a heated debate with Brian Klawiter’s supporters about his decision to refuse service to gay customers.

read more

Daniel Reynolds

www.advocate.com/business/2015/04/19/watch-protestors-argue-supporters-antigay-michigan-repairman

Marco Rubio: Being Gay Is Not A Choice
Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) said on Sunday that he didn’t think being gay was a choice but rather the way some people were born.

During an appearance on CBS’ “Face The Nation,” Rubio, who launched his 2016 presidential campaign last week, said that he believes the definition of marriage is a union between a man and a woman. The Florida senator also added said that same-sex marriage was not a constitutional right and should be decided by state legislatures, not the courts.

Despite his position, Rubio added that he didn’t think being gay was a choice.

“I also don’t believe that your sexual preferences are a choice for the vast and enormous majority of people,” he said. “In fact, the bottom line is I believe sexual preference is something that people are born with.”

Last week, Rubio also said that he would attend a gay wedding of a loved one, even if he disagreed with the “choice” that loved one had made.

“I’m not going to hurt them simply because I disagree with a choice they’ve made or because I disagree with a decision they’ve made, or whatever it may be,” Rubio said. “Ultimately, if someone that you care for and is part of your family has decided to move in one direction or another or feels that way because of who they love, you respect that because you love them.”

In the past, Rubio has distinguished between opposing same-sex marriage and being anti-gay.

“Supporting the definition of marriage as one man and one woman is not anti-gay. It is pro-traditional marriage,” Rubio said last year.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/04/19/marco-rubio-gay-rights_n_7096180.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices

Marco Rubio Thinks You Were Born Gay, He Just Doesn't Want You to Get Married: VIDEO

Kyler Geoffroy

www.towleroad.com/2015/04/marco-rubio-thinks-you-are-born-gay-he-just-doesnt-want-you-to-get-married-video.html