Michele Bachmann: 'Wonderful' End Times Imminent Thanks to Gay Marriage and Obama – VIDEO

Kyler Geoffroy

www.towleroad.com/2015/04/bachmannendtimes.html

Lack of Competent Providers Leaves Many LGBTs Uninsured & Untreated

Many LGBT people are either uninsured or delay seeking medical treatment, and the reason is simple: a lack of LGBT-friendly health care providers.

read more

Raffy Ermac

www.advocate.com/health/2015/04/20/lack-competent-providers-leaves-many-lgbts-uninsured-untreated

My Transgender Life – Reflections

See the pretty girl in that mirror there?
Who can that attractive girl be?
Such a pretty face
Such a pretty dress
Such a pretty smile
Such a pretty me!
–Steven Sondheim 1957, from West Side Story

There have been many days when I did not want to look in a mirror. Many, many days!

Reflection’s can be funny things. There are reflections of our outer surface, and there are also the deep inner reflections that each individual process their way through. How many of the following questions do you reflect on?

• Who am I?
• Where do I belong?
• What am I doing with my life?
• Will anyone ever really love me?

It is excruciating difficult when one is so busy working on answering these internal questions and then see the reflection of their outer surface does not match how they see themselves internally.

I know what this is like! Denying and hiding my struggle with gender identity for close to 60 years has made me familiar with how often the reflection I see in a mirror belies my true self. Many times it was easier to believe what I saw in my reflection rather than the truth inside of me. After all, isn’t what I saw in the mirror the same as how other people saw me? How could I ever hold on to all of those relationships if I told them they were not seeing the true me? My inner reflections told me that there would be no way to do this. Absolutely no way!

…

I was ten years old when West Side Story opened on Broadway, and it was not long before I heard the song “I Feel Pretty” on the radio. “See the pretty girl in the mirror there” was already triggering my internal reflection. Ten years old and I could not even begin to understand what this meant, and I dare not tell anyone about this. I was already trying on my mom’s clothes when she was not home. I had no idea why and I just could not stop doing this. I climbed on the bed to look in the mirror over the dresser and would dream, and hum that song to myself, while carefully listening to make sure there was not a key scratching to open the front door. I wanted so much to be the girl I saw in the mirror. That girl was definitely inside of me. I knew she was, but there was no way she could get out and be seen except when I would dress up like this. I also thought that there must be something seriously wrong with me. Life was clearly going to be a challenge.

It took me a long time to realize that I was not alone, and that being transgender is not the only reason that people may struggle with mirrors and reflections. The questions I asked above seem to part of the package of being human. In my almost seven decades working through my life, I have met very few people who do not ask themselves at least one of those questions, either at some point during their life or constantly. Perhaps dealing with one’s gender identity is not so different than each person’s search for his or her own truth. I believe that his is an absolute truth! It is one that we hardly talk about, as we try so hard to fit in to some mold that our culture and family teaches us. How many people feel they must, must deny or hide who they truly are?

For those of us who are transgender and choose to be visible visible in the wider world, perhaps we are becoming a model for others that it is OK to be and express your truth, no matter what it is – of course, within the bounds of doing no harm. Now wouldn’t that be something? I have learned that there is nothing wrong with me for being, accepting and living my truth. I hope that everyone can learn to both live their own truth and accept others who choose to live and express theirs. I dream of the day when the term “people like us” takes on the meaning of people who are free to be just who they are without any conditions or judgments or discrimination. I like this dream. I like it a lot.

I no longer have my old problem with mirrors. For me it took a long time, and the decision to make my outside match my inside. This is certainly one of many possible solutions available, and each of us needs to find our own.

I have learned to be OK with what I now see in my reflections. My internal picture of who I am is now in alignment with the reflection of my outer self. In the Afterword of my book No! Maybe? Yes! Living my Truth, I share how valuable reflections are to me now:

She loves watching the snow now. She takes in a very deep breath–and calmly squeezes her eyes into a smile that can focus sharply. She closely watches flake after flake float by and is always so curious to see how each is unique.

She doesn’t know how, still loving the mystery of it all, but she knows she is connected in some way to each and every snowflake. She loves the warm feeling that flows when she recognizes the beauty in each one of them.

She steps away from the window and catches her own reflection. Her smile steadily grows as she notices the same warm feeling flowing through her entire body as she recognizes the beauty in herself.

###

Grace Stevens is a transgender woman who transitioned at the age of 64 and holds a Masters Degree in Counseling Psychology. She is a father of three, grandparent of two, athlete, advocate and author of No! Maybe? Yes! Living My Truth, an intimate memoir of her personal struggle to transition and live her true life authentically as a woman. For more information about Grace, her work and how Gender Variance Education and Training can help you, visit her website at: www.graceannestevens.com/. Follow Grace on Twitter: www.twitter.com/graceonboard .

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

www.huffingtonpost.com/grace-anne-stevens/my-transgender-life-refle_b_7092594.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices

News: Justin Timberlake, PrEP, Jon Stewart, Cuba, Mac & Cheese

Kyler Geoffroy

www.towleroad.com/2015/04/news-7.html

Gay Couples React To Invasive Questions About Gender Roles (VIDEO)
We’ve heard it all before, and these vloggers are here to explain why there are just some things you should never ask a gay couple.

From YouTuber Ashley Mardell comes “Gay Couples React to Rude, Invasive Questions,” a look at someone of the most annoying questions that gay couples receive on a regular basis. The majority of the video’s conversation revolves around gender norms and people mistakenly trying to understand queer love through a male/female binary. All too often non-queer people assume that every relationship has to have someone playing the role of “man” and “woman” — even if the identities of the people in that relationship don’t fit these categories.

“Even in a straight relationship it’s not like every guy takes on those dominant roles,” one vlogger in the video explains. “There’s a lot of straight relationships that I know of where the girl is the most dominant person in the relationship.”

Check out the video above for a more nuanced understanding of why questions about gender roles are considered rude and invasive.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/04/20/gay-couples-gender-roles_n_7101010.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices

Ryan Gosling Responds To Dye-Job Haters

Did you guys hear the big news?!

No, not the Iran deal. It’s really just a framework, anyway.

And no, Hillary wasn’t spotted adding guac to her burrito bowl again (but we’ll let you know as soon as she is).

We’re talking about the big item of the weekend. Ryan Gosling dyed his hair. Brown. Brown! Can you imagine? And now he kinda looks like the guy who’d rent you a Ford Focus at Enterprise.

Well here to comment on his transformation is Ryan Gosling (aka Jimmy Fowlie):

Dan Tracer

feedproxy.google.com/~r/queerty2/~3/aSAAzFL74Cg/ryan-gosling-responds-to-dye-job-haters-20150420

Tonga Moves to Explicitly Ban Same-Sex Marriage

Kyler Geoffroy

www.towleroad.com/2015/04/tonga-moves-to-explicitly-ban-same-sex-marriage.html

A Gay Father's Advice Regarding Anti-Gay Store Owners: Ignore the Tantrums
When my daughters were toddlers they would sometimes throw tantrums. Maybe they were tired or hungry or simply stressed about something like a new school or moving into a new home. Like most parents, we began to recognize the warning signs and acted accordingly, ignoring the bad behavior and never giving in to their demands. We did not give them what they were looking for, which was attention for their bad behavior. It occurred to me recently that we have a population of toddlers who are stressed about moving into a new home and they are acting out, but we are giving them exactly what they want, attention.

Consider the pizza shop owner in Indiana and the owner of the garage in Michigan.

“I won’t serve gays and you can’t make me!”

That is what they are saying. Is it really because it is against their religion? Maybe, but how about the divorced patrons, the lazy customers, the gluttonous shoppers, aren’t they all sinners in their eyes? Of course they are, but you can’t reason with a toddler, nor should you. They are afraid of something new or frustrated because they can’t comprehend and the best tact to take when a toddler is throwing a tantrum is to ignore the bad behavior and praise the good, but we are doing the opposite.

When the pizza shop owner contacts the news and says she won’t make a pizza for a gay wedding and there is not a thing you can do to make her, we splash it across headlines and share it on Facebook and social media. A gofundme page gets created and she gets a reward. We’re doing this all wrong, people. It’s time to ignore the bad and praise the good.

We’re asking people to tie their own shoes, but they don’t have the necessary skills to perform this task and when they scream and shout because they are frustrated, we’re giving in. We need to teach them how to be a grown up and the best way to do that is by showing them what well behaving adults act like. We should be highlighting and praising the Mom and Pop shops that do tie their own shoes and accept all customers. Where are the stories about the bakeries with heterosexual owners making cakes for the gay couple and the straight grandfather taking photographs at a lesbian couple’s wedding?

I’m not saying that we shouldn’t have rules. All children need and crave structure. We need to put anti-discrimination laws into place locally and nationally and make the punishment known and then we need to follow through. Because as a parent the worst thing you can do is to say you are going to do something and then not do it. Politicians are infamous for doing this and look at what a nation of spoiled, rotten children we have become.

When my oldest daughter was five, she used an ink pen to write her sister’s name on the back of seat of our minivan in an attempt to incriminate her younger sister, who was only three. Of course we knew who the real culprit was. Her younger sister couldn’t write. Many religious zealots are complaining that they are only exercising their freedom of religion when they attempt to deny service to gays and that they are now the minority who are being discriminated against. Good try, but bad execution. You are not a minority and you can still practice your religion. We are not taking anything away from you, but you are attempting to take away our rights.

It’s time to take away the pen, lay down the rules and ignore the tantrums. They always complain the loudest in the beginning. Let’s show them who the adults truly are.

William Dameron’s personal blog is The Authentic Life

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

www.huffingtonpost.com/william-dameron/a-gay-fathers-advice-rega_b_7089430.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices