Home Lending

Everything you need to know before buying a new home.

read more

Advocate.com Editors

www.advocate.com/business/advocate-money-minute/2014/12/12/home-lending

7 Christmas Gift Ideas for Your Penis
‘Tis the season for showing how much you care about the dude down there. Instead of showing him off on the hookup apps, why not spend a little quality time making his life better? Here are seven great ideas that will make Mr. Happy even happier:

1. Make him stronger.

Other than dating Nick Jonas, there is only one scientifically accepted way of firming up erections and experiencing more powerful orgasms: Kegel exercises. The problem is that the squeeze-hold-release movements are boring, and you have to do hundreds at a time. But now there’s a more fun and effective way to strengthen pelvic floor muscles: a device called the “Private Gym.” It’s like weight training for your penis. You strap on the FDA-registered resistance ring onto your erection and do Kegels with progressively heavier magnetic weights. The result? Stronger pubo-rectal muscles that provide intense contractions during orgasm, not only giving you more pleasure but gaining distance when you, ahem, stick the landing. They even provide you with an interactive DVD program and training manual of different exercises you can do to keep it interesting. Now hit the floor and give me 20 pushups with that anaconda!

2. Get him the ultimate dick pic.

Did you know that your penis is twice as long as you think it is? That’s because almost half the length of the penis is tucked up inside the pelvis. Want to see proof? Click here to see MRIs of erect penises. Note the curved, boomerang shape — and the arched eyebrows of your friends when they see your MRI framed over the fireplace. “What the hell is that?” they’ll ask. And you’ll respond with 100-percent accuracy when you say, “Proof that I’m hung like a bear.”

3. Be sensitive about his gargantuan size.

If you don’t know how, then read Dr. Richard Jacobs’ hilarious book How to Live With a Huge Penis. This book had me at “heller” when it claimed endowed men suffer from “oversized male genitalia,” or “OMG.” With chapters like “Unzipping: Coming Out to Your Friends and Family,” you’ll find yourself saying exactly that: O-M-G. Of course, the real reason to own the book isn’t what’s in it but what people will say when they see it. Strategically place a few copies on the coffee table and you won’t be able to resist saying, “That’s the fifth guy I’ve dated who bought me that book!”

4. Give him the illusion of gargantuan size.

Ever notice that everybody’s penis looks bigger than yours? That’s because you’re looking straight at theirs but down at yours. Angles make a difference. If you want to get a better indication of the size, don’t look down; look in the mirror. And while you’re there, grab a pair of blunt-end nail scissors and start hacking away at your underbrush. Manscaping around the base of your penis instantly adds an “optical inch” to your length. This is truly the only penis-enlargement trick that can make your manhood look the size of the Florida panhandle.

5. Give him a dickish doppelganger.

The ultimate exercise in narcissism isn’t selfies; it’s pleasuring yourself with a vibrator made out of an exact replica of your penis. The “Christmas Willy Kit” puts megalomania on notice by making an exact replica dildo of your penis and turning it into a multi-speed vibrating adult sex toy. In light or dark flesh colors, you can order it with a personalized message. (“To my awesome boyfriend. Now you can have me even when you go away on business.”) You’ll also have a gem of a reply the next time somebody tells you to “go fuck yourself”: “Again? I’m a little sore from last night!”

6. Make him tell the truth.

Men always lie about size. Why do you think we came up with maps that associate an inch with a mile? Here’s how urologists do the measuring: Get undressed in room temperature. (“Shrinkage” will occur if it’s cold.) Use a cloth ruler. (They’re better at measuring curvatures.) Lie on your back and start where the base of your penis meets your stomach. (Do not start from the back of your scrotum. Nobody includes the basement when they quote the height of a skyscraper!) Round up to the nearest centimeter, not the nearest foot. While you’re down there, you may as well get some play time in. But read sex educator Paul Nelson’s advice for getting more out of self-pleasuring. His advice? Stop doing it as if you were a 13-year-old.

7. Make him look younger.

Getting older means getting grayer. If you’re the one who hit the switch when God said, “Let there be light,” you might want to consider coloring the hair down there. But don’t use the stuff you’d use to color the hair on your head; they often contain ammonia and other irritants that could do serious damage to the sensitive skin around the genitalia. Use Betty Color instead. It’s the only mass-market coloring especially designed for pubic hair. One good coat will take 10 years off your penis.

Michael Alvear is the author of the gay sex bestseller How to Bottom Like a Porn Star.

www.huffingtonpost.com/mike-alvear/7-christmas-gift-ideas-for-your-penis_b_6303594.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices

A Pastor and a Horse in a Wedding Dress Walk Into a Courthouse…

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.
HRC.org

www.hrc.org/blog/entry/a-pastor-and-a-horse-in-a-wedding-dress-walk-into-courthouse?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss-feed

Bryan Fischer: Teach Sodom & Gomorrah in California Schools

‘Gay history starts with Sodom and Gomorrah,’ Fischer said in a rant against a law requiring California schools to teach about the historic contributions of LGBT people.

read more

Stevie St. John

www.advocate.com/politics/religion/2014/12/12/bryan-fischer-teach-sodom-gomorrah-california-schools

We're Here, We're Queer, We're Covered!
The first thing doctors always asks me after I tell them I’m gay: “When was the last time you had any blood work done?”

I’m not sure if this is standard protocol, ignorance or just hyper-sensitivity on my part, but I always expect it; it always happens, and I’m always a little peeved by it. But I’m one of the lucky ones. At least I get to see a doctor.

Before the Affordable Care Act (ACA), health care was out of reach for tens of thousands of lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans and queer (LGBTQ) young adults. Despite what many Americans see on TV, young LGBTQ adults often face higher rates of poverty than their heterosexual counterparts. It’s not all Will and Grace for many of us, who face the hard decision of choosing between housing and food — or our health.

December 15 marks the deadline to get health coverage that starts on January 1 in the federal and state marketplaces, and I urge everyone lacking insurance to get covered.

I moved back home to San Francisco in 2011 and — like lots of Millennials after the Great Recession — I had a hard time finding a job. Working at a restaurant and paying my ridiculous San Francisco-priced rent, I couldn’t afford health care after I turned 26 and aged off of my mom’s insurance policy.

It wasn’t until the first Open Enrollment period in October 2013, when Americans could go online and shop for health care plans, that I could finally afford health care for myself. Eighty-five percent of Americans who selected health plans received discounts on coverage. The majority of young adults were eligible to pay less than $100 per month, or less than the cost of a phone bill.

This year, young LGBTQ adults who still lack health insurance have another chance to sign up and reap the benefits of coverage. Some of those benefits include free HIV screenings, depression screenings, well-woman visits and preventive services such as pap tests and mammograms.

Health care providers cannot discriminate against patients based on sexual orientation and gender identity, thanks to the Affordable Care Act, which is a huge victory for the LGBTQ community.

If you haven’t already, start shopping at Healthcare.gov or your state health insurance marketplace. And then be sure to see a doctor when you need it, even it means answering questions that seem redundant. Our generation ends up in the emergency room more than any other age group except the elderly, and we can’t afford to risk our health — or our finances.

Want more information how the ACA helps the LGBTQ community? Visit YoungInvincibles.org/hcadvocates!

www.huffingtonpost.com/julian-aldana/were-here-were-queer-were-covered_b_6315060.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices

Ben Affleck’s & Neil Patrick Harris’ Penises Go Online While Ricky Martin Inspires Plastic Surgery

A guy in Argentina is so enamored with Ricky Martin that he’s had numerous surgeries to look more like him. We completely understand.

If you blinked and missed Ben Affleck‘s impressive penis in the hit drama Gone Girl, here it is in all its NSFW gif-ic glory.  And while we’re at it why not take a look at what Neil Patrick Harris is packing here.

Steve Carrell and Jimmy Fallon are just a couple of ragtime gals who want some “Sexual Healing.”

Alaska Thunderfuck proves once again that she’s tough as nails.

Stephen Sondheim is probably the only person alive with the balls to tell Meryl Streep not to fuck something up, which he did with her recording of “She’ll Be Back” for Into the Woods. We think she followed his advice just fine.

Sorry J.Lo, you’ve officially been out-twerked by Julian Serrano. Boom!

We haven’t checked in with James Franco for what seems like hours days weeks, so here’s the multi-hyphenate entertainer lip-synching to “Like a Virgin.” What can’t he do? (h/t: Boy Culture)

American Horror Story: Freak Show‘s Finn Wittrock is the scariest/hottest guy on TV and he’s not afraid of nude scenes.

Having trouble shopping for that maudlin gay on your list? How about a hand-knitted Morrissey doll?

Jeremy Kinser

feedproxy.google.com/~r/queerty2/~3/dYXbmuRENfE/ben-afflecks-neil-patrick-harris-penises-go-online-while-ricky-martin-inspires-plastic-surgery-20141212

Model Featured on 'Ex Gay' Virginia Billboard Is Neither 'Ex-Gay' Nor a Twin: VIDEO

Kyler Geoffroy

www.towleroad.com/2014/12/model-featured-on-ex-gay-virginia-billboard-is-neither-ex-gay-nor-a-twin-video.html