PHOTOS: Scotland Rings In First Same-Sex Weddings

The law establishing full marriage equality took effect Wednesday in Scotland.

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Michelle Garcia

www.advocate.com/politics/marriage-equality/2014/12/31/photos-scotland-rings-first-same-sex-weddings

Everyone's <i>Not</i> an Expert: Resolving to Listen to Ourselves in 2015
Helen is a middle-aged, self-proclaimed sex expert.

Simply put, she has a lot of sex — and she didn’t start until she was in her 40s. Before blossoming into a promiscuous risk-taker, she was an obese, unhappily married house-frau who eked out a marginal living doing odd jobs for some of Hollywood’s rich and lazy. She disliked sex with her schlub of a husband and openly joked about how infrequently she’d “put out” for her under-endowed spouse. From the ashes of their divorce papers, however, rose a woman whose sexual awakening found her in bed with dissatisfied married men, on barroom floors with restaurant staff and in parking lots groping lonely online hookups. Her early disinterest in bedroom sports evolved into a penchant for dangerous sex that gave wings to a self-labeled “specialist.”

Gliding into the new year, my resolution is to be more discerning about the people from whom I accept advice and counsel. I love to hear from folks who have had extraordinary experiences or who have lived through situations that pique my interest — and I respectfully listen to their thoughts on a variety of television and radio shows each week. More than once in 2014, though, I took dating tips from good looking relationship gurus on TV who gave extremely general advice that wasn’t tailored to my temperament or sensibility. Needless to say, I mistakenly let a couple of good guys get away.

I will no longer be so easily influenced by the “experts” who flood the media with the answers to everything. I will cut through the noise and rely more on my own thoughts than the ocean of other opinions that surround me. Yes, there are certainly bona fide professionals out there whose knowledge and experience should not be discounted, but I endeavor to be a “self specialist” — someone who knows me better than any disconnected flapping gums on the tube.

As a marketing executive with more than 20 years of experience in the entertainment industry, I myself have made appearances on various broadcast programs to comment on issues related directly to my profession. Both my communications degree and my two decades of on-the-job training qualified me to offer theoretical and practical points of view. However, when I was asked to talk about subjects covered in my first book, a memoir, I was careful to make clear that I could not be credited as an expert on sexuality, coming out, bullying or dating. Sure, I could offer experiential and anecdotal material that would entertain and inform, but my decision to share personal details in my book did not uniquely qualify me to advise others on similar matters. Could someone learn from my triumphs and mistakes? Absolutely. Might my stories provide value to people with similar struggles? Without question. But, am I an “expert” because I chose to be forthcoming about my life? Hardly.

Helen began curating online pornography sites, writing blogs and positioning herself as a sex and relationship pundit. Nobody questioned her credentials; in fact, she was featured on a number of podcasts, radio shows and even one national morning show as an “educator” and “love coach.” Publishers of erotica, sex toy manufacturers and lubricant companies began sending sample products to her Philadelphia apartment in hopes that she would test drive them and publicly extol their attributes.

“Everybody says I would be good at this,” she answered when I inquired about the 14,000-pound, terrestrial animal with a swinging trunk that was standing in the room with us.

“That’s great,” I said, “but what about the qualifications necessary to be dispensing advice and recommending personal health products to the public?”

“Eh, who cares? Look at all of these people on television. Do you think they are clinically trained or formally educated?”

Helen had a point. In the “scream culture” of contemporary television — marked by an endless parade of shrieking “authorities” appearing daily on national and cable news outlets — everyone is an expert. There are so many talking heads throwing insights our way that even a certain horseman from Sleepy Hollow could land a guest spot on “chat TV.”

But, while Helen made a very small amount of sense, would I hire a “get-rich-quick” infomercial pitchman to manage my finances? Or a car salesman to map out my road trips?

Did Helen hold a doctorate in human sexuality? Nope. A masters in psychology? Unh-unh. An undergraduate degree in, um, anything? That’s a negative.

Helen’s confidence in her “qualifications” came largely from the fact that so many friends encouraged her to turn her new passion (ahem) into the money that had eluded her throughout adulthood. While the people around us, for the most part, are encouraging, they are not usually objective in their enthusiasm and good wishes. They often say things that make us believe that what they find appealing or unique about us is marketable to the public at large. If I had a nickel for every time that every friend told me that my sensibility belonged on every television show, in every bookstore and on every radio network, I’d be sipping tea and eating every croissant in the south of France while living a life of leisure on my bottomless bank account.

With all due respect to Helen, I jumped out of a swing once, but I still haven’t signed a contract with Cirque du Soleil.

www.huffingtonpost.com/josh-sabarra/everyones-not-an-expert-r_b_6396910.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices

Which City Has The Best Gayborhood? Vote Now And Win A Trip For Two

Gayborhoods around the world are changing, and fast. The rent goes up, the bars get straighter and the sex shops turn into Starbucks.

That’s why we love the nominees for best gayborhood in this year’s Best of GayCities — they’ve held onto their charm and are still great places to be unapologetically yourself.

There’s San Francisco’s Castro, NYC’s Hell’s Kitchen, Zona Rosa in Puerto Vallarta, Boystown in Chicago. Florida has Wilton Manors and Philadelphia has a hopping Gayborhood too.

Vote for your favorite ‘hood and win a chance at a free trip for two to any destination in the continental U.S., courtesy of our friends at Hyatt.

Voting is easy. Just sign into your GayCities account and make your selections. You’ll automatically be entered into the prize sweepstakes.

Polls close January 5. You must be a U.S. resident to win the prize. See the complete rules.

Dan Tracer

feedproxy.google.com/~r/queerty2/~3/cI9qnpB4MGs/which-city-has-the-best-gayborhood-vote-now-and-win-a-trip-for-two-20141231

Outsports names Tony Dungy 'A–hole Of The Year': VIDEO

John Wright

www.towleroad.com/2014/12/outsports-names-tony-dungy-asshole-of-the-year.html

2014 Phobie Awards: The Worst People of the Year

The Advocate has as a long tradition of pausing at the end of each year to reflect on who among our coverage wins for the most homophobic, transphobic, and downright reprehensible.

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Lucas Grindley

www.advocate.com/year-review/2014/12/31/2014-phobie-awards-worst-people-year

My Two-Legged Dog's Journey From Egypt to New York to Kansas to a College Town in Pennsylvania

My dog’s story starts over a year ago on the outskirts of Cairo. He is a baladi, an Egyptian street dog. He was hit by a car, losing the use of his hind quarters and legs. Injured and dragging his back end around in the grime of the streets, he was ignored and left to fend for himself.

After two months, a volunteer at an animal welfare group was alerted by a caring friend. This beautiful woman, Marwa, searched for him for over an hour. She found him — “in the garbage, totally paralyzed, his back legs were dead because of gangrene, full of mange and dirt, totally blind, poop and garbage were stuck on his body,” she later told me. “It was one of the worst cases I have ever seen in my life and I have seen a lot.” Discovering that he was a “real fighter,” she sought veterinary care. Saving his life, she saw him through amputation surgery for his back legs and three months of rehabilitation. She grew to love him, but felt that the best care for him would be elsewhere.

She named him Lucky.

Arrangements were made to have him transported to New York with the help of an American nonprofit organization, Special Needs Animal Rescue and Rehabilitation (SNARR), whose mission is to “give hope to the hopeless.” After arriving in New York, Lucky started his long journey to Kansas where he would receive foster care. Dozens of volunteers drove legs (no pun), each taking a 60 or 90 minute section of the trip. It was about this time that I stumbled upon his story on SNARR’s Facebook page. I had previously seen a viral video of another dog with no hind legs running on the beach and was impressed by how resilient and happy he was. I knew I wanted to adopt Lucky to give him a chance at running joyfully and playfully, too. I immediately sent in an adoption application.

Lucky needed time to heal and he received excellent care in Kansas. I did not hear much from the folks at SNARR regarding my application, but I watched his progress online and was amazed by his pluck and stamina. I watched from afar as he received a custom-built wheeled cart to make it easier for him to walk.

One day, I received a short phone call informing me that my adoption application had been approved. Another chain of drivers was being arranged and he would be at my home before Labor Day.

One of my other dogs, Cyrus, is also two-legged — he has back legs and no front legs. Over the years, I have adopted other special needs dogs. Despite all my experience, I had no idea how to prepare for Lucky’s arrival. How injured was he? Did he have any use of his back end? How did he relieve himself? Could he wag his tail?

Late one night, Lucky arrived with the final driver. I was immediately struck by how lively he is. A puppy’s energy. I was unprepared for how he moved. Without wheels, he can run quickly on his two remaining legs, carrying his back end around like a knapsack flung over his shoulders. He does not drag the back end on the floor; rather, he lifts it up in an amazing balancing act. Nothing slows him down.

The driver said goodbye and, just like that, Lucky was part of our family. He and I bonded immediately and, within hours, he was following my every footstep.

As the first days progressed, there was trial and error in solving how best to care for him. He cannot relieve his bladder on his own. I needed to learn how to “express.” I was told it was simple: Find the bladder and squeeze. Initially, I could not do it. Desperate, I went online and, to my surprise, I found a number of expressing instructional videos (who knew?). After viewing one particularly helpful video, I figured it out. Some friends were horrified that I would have to do this but, now that I have been doing it for months, it is no big deal. It is … efficient.

Lucky fit in with the other dogs and cats in no time at all. He has settled in and is healthy and content. He is quirky and funny. He shows absolutely no signs of having a difficult past. Dogs, unlike most people, live in the present and do not look back.

Next month, Lucky will start therapy dog training so that he may bring inspiration to hospital patients who are going through difficult circumstances. His brother Cyrus is already a certified therapy dog who visits a children’s hospital and an amputee clinic each week.

I am confident that Lucky will make a huge impact when he visits patients. He is already inspiring people online. He has his own Facebook page (started when he was in foster care) with 1500 “fans” from almost 50 different countries. We receive many kind messages from people who are encouraged and motivated by his story.

I received some flack when I adopted Lucky. Why, I was asked, would I adopt a dog from Egypt when there are so many other needy dogs right here at home? On some level, I understand the concern — there are many deserving animals waiting in American shelters for homes. I have adopted many of them over the years. But Lucky’s fate and mine are intertwined and, for whatever reason, our paths crossed. It was meant to be. Lucky has some larger purpose in life and I was chosen somehow to help him with his mission.

Lucky is more than a dog; he is a symbol. For some, he is a symbol of resilience and perseverance, a canine “It Gets Better” story. For others, he is an affirmation of life and hope. To me, he is the best of what it means to be a dog: remaining positive, living in the moment, providing unconditional love.

www.huffingtonpost.com/domenick-scudera/my-2-legged-dogs-journey_b_6400422.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices

First On-Set HIV Infection In Ten Years Hits Gay Nevada Shoot

Two gay porn actors have been diagnosed with HIV, one almost certainly infecting the other during a shoot in Nevada where officials say testing standards were lower than the industry standards.

They had both tested negative before completing two shoots. But in the time between testing and completing the scenes, HIV levels rose in one of them.

“In this case, the actor and production company thought he was HIV-negative during filming,” the California Department of Public Health said in a statement Monday. “Shortly after his negative test, HIV levels in his body rose rapidly to where he could infect other actors through unprotected sex.”

The states of Nevada and California do not require porn actors to be tested for HIV, and while the industry standard is to screen for the disease, the test they were using doesn’t detect the virus as early as ones used where protocol is tighter.

“Not only did this leave those who participated at risk, it made it much harder to track scene partners once the possible infection was discovered,” The Free Speech Coalition, a California-based trade group for the adult film industry said in a statement.

This is the last confirmed on-set HIV infection since 2004, after which the porn industry adopted a monthly screening standard for STI’s. They began testing every 14 days after a porn actress contracted HIV off-set last year.

via SF Gate

Dan Tracer

feedproxy.google.com/~r/queerty2/~3/vHHZJ_gaKa4/first-on-set-hiv-infection-in-ten-years-hits-gay-nevada-shoot-20141231

The Best New Television Shows of 2014

Bobby Hankinson

www.towleroad.com/2014/12/the-best-new-television-shows-of-2014.html

Best of 2014: HRC Takes a Stand in the Fight Against HIV/AIDS

This year, HRC re-committed to the fight against HIV/AIDS.
HRC.org

www.hrc.org/blog/entry/best-of-2014-hrc-takes-a-stand-in-the-fight-against-hiv-aids?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss-feed

A Look Back At The Tastiest Morning Goods Of 2014

Bodies, butts and bulges, oh my!

If you’re a regular, then you’re probably familiar with Queerty’s long running Morning Goods, the column devoted to showcasing men from around the world who get your heart rate up faster than a venti vanilla latte from Starbucks.

We’ve shared lots of delicious goods with you this year, and have plenty more in store for 2015.

Here’s a look back at 10 of the tastiest Morning Goods from 2014. Eat up!

Muscleman Adrian Baretto was captured during an oceanfront workout in Rio.

Reinaldo Fuzil was looking hot, hot, hot in images captured on the beaches of Brazil. The prizefighter was smokin’ in shades and swimwear.

In this summer photo shoot, blond model Brandon sizzled like a cat on a hot tin roof.

Alex Rodriguez proved his packing power while vacationing in Ibiza.

Andrew Christian’s construction workers had everyone bothered as they worked on a house in skimpy shorts and even skimpier underwear. (Queerty interview babe Murray Swanby poses on right.)

Rafael Medenca turned up the heat.

The demigods known as Colorado’s finest firefighters and the Colorado-based underwear brand Baskit teamed up for a calendar. Not only did it provide some fiery eye candy, but the proceeds went to the Children’s Hospital of Colorado.

This fine male specimen channelled his inner carnal beast in a new collection.

Model Austin Butler explored an overpass in his underwear with photographer Marco Ovando.

Photographer Andrew Werner shot this collection against a greek key black and white printed wall.

H/t: The Underwear Expert

Graham Gremore

feedproxy.google.com/~r/queerty2/~3/5xlsnnd1LfA/a-look-back-at-the-tastiest-morning-goods-of-2014-20141231