Stephen Colbert: Hillary Clinton's Victory Makes Us Just Like Other Countries
Women have been elected to top offices in countries around the world, and now the United States is finally catching up, the comedian points out.
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This HIV-Positive Meth Addict Came Down With Heart Failure. Then Everything Changed For the Better.
This HIV-Positive Meth Addict Came Down With Heart Failure. Then Everything Changed For the Better.
When Will Armstrong emerges from heart surgery in just a few days, he will have weeks of hospitalization ahead. He will also have expensive new hardware in his chest and a devoted animal waiting anxiously at home.
What he will not have is a pulse.
Will, a 44-year-old living in Atlanta, is having a Left Ventricular Assist Device (LVAD) implanted, and it will push the blood flow through his heart so smoothly that the throb of a pulse will be virtually nonexistent. Unlike a pacemaker, the LVAD needs electricity to function, provided by a battery pack to be carried by Will at all times. With an extra battery always on hand. And a couple more charging at home.
The last year may have been devastating for Will, but the process has had an unexpected effect on his emotional state.
“I’m happier than I was before I got sick,” Will says now. Allowing himself to receive the love and support of his wide circle of friends has had an enormous impact. “A lot of people will never know that kind of love while they are alive,” Will says. “To be able to know that is an incredible gift.”
The bearded weight-lifter has always cut an imposing figure, and he admits he used his physicality as armor while navigating life as a gay man. “I had to project this image,” Will says. “It was such a fraud.” His intimidating posture kept people at a distance, even as he struggled with life events that called out desperately for support.
You see, Will tested HIV positive two decades ago. Coming to terms with the stigma attached to the virus is something he managed to resolve some time ago, until he found himself facing another disease that posed a more immediate threat: crystal meth addiction.
Once he began a recovery program for meth addicts, populated largely by other gay men, Will was surprised to learn how many of his fellow addicts were also HIV positive but uncomfortable saying so. “That surprised me,” he says, “that people could feel stigmatized for their HIV, even among other gay people in recovery.” Will responded by becoming one of the founders of Pozitively Fabulous, an annual retreat weekend for people in recovery living with HIV, now in its fifth year.
As his years of successful recovery passed, however, Will continued to hold tight to his ultra-masculine persona. His social media pages were littered with gym selfies and bicep measurements. It was an unhealthy fixation on self, Will now realizes, and it eventually caught up with him.
Related: Five Ways To Reclaim Your Life After Meth
In May of 2015, after seven years of clean living, Will relapsed on meth for two full weeks.
“I ended up in the emergency room,” he says. “I thought I was having panic attacks, but I was in kidney failure. I was in total disbelief when they diagnosed my heart failure. I’ve never even had high blood pressure.”
But Will also knew that, when it comes to addiction, the most obvious answer is usually the right one. “People will sometimes say how ironic it is that I escaped drug addiction and then this happened. No. I didn’t escape drug addiction. This is what happened.”
What has followed is a year of medical trial and error, as doctors tried to keep Will’s heart viable while exploring alternatives. He has been denied a heart transplant due to HIV, and his doctors say there are no heart transplants happening in the United States for people with HIV, anyway (the very few organ transplants that are taking place, such as liver transplants, are between HIV positive patients and donors).
“I went through a couple months where I didn’t want to live. I was suicidal,” Will says. “I just didn’t want to be here anymore.”
And this is where Addie comes in, the creature “more spiritual than anything in my life,” says Will.
Addie is the pit bull that is glued to Will’s side, constantly vigilant for a hug from him or signs of a treat or a walk. “Addie is the reason I’m still here. I live alone, I’m single, I didn’t have a boyfriend or the fabulous life I thought I would have. But Addie forced me to get up every day and take her out. She’s the reason I stuck around.”
“When I met her at the dog rescue two years ago, they told me she was hard to adopt because she was high strung and not great around kids or dogs.” Being a pit bull probably didn’t help her chances, either.
It was a match made in shelter heaven. Both Will and Addie might have been outwardly intimidating to others, but what they really needed was some unconditional love. “I connected with her and fell in love,” said Will. “When I’m with her, I try to be as happy as she is. She is always right here in the moment, and she believes everything will be okay. She adores me. I’ve never had this type of relationship with anything.”
Will has a team of friends at the ready as he mentally prepares for the five-hour LVAD surgery in a few days, but he wants them to be focused on Addie, who will miss him terribly. “She is too big and hyper to sneak into the hospital to see me,” Will said, “but I’ll be doing video calls with her.”
Related: 10 Things HIV-Positive Guys Want Negative Guys To Know
Will has watched YouTube videos of the surgery (“gruesome stuff”) and knows the risks of complications. He understands the LVAD will probably be attached to him for the rest of his life (“batteries are important, but I can plug myself in anywhere, including the car”). Whatever anxiety Will may be experiencing is blanketed by a deep sense of gratitude.
“Today, I look at situations that really should aggravate me, and I’m just not there. All that shit I thought you should think about me doesn’t matter. Things like money and romance aren’t important to me now, or being super macho so people don’t think I have feelings. What is important to me are things I already have.”
“My biggest challenges have been readjusting my expectations,” Will adds. “Sure, I have a lot of uncertainty in my life, but I’ve got so much love the last year from my friends and family. And you know what? I allow people to love me. They want to be helpful, and the biggest thing I can do for them is let them love me.”
As Will considers his close brush with mortality this year and the recovery process ahead, he sounds like a man who is comfortable, at long last, in his own skin.
“I’m grateful I have been given a year to resolve things, let things go, take care of things,” Will says. “If I were to leave this planet, I would be okay with that. I’m okay if it’s my time.” His affairs are in order, including a new home for his beloved Addie, just in case.
“All that said,” Will offers finally, “I don’t want to go.”
Will Armstrong’s friends have created a GoFundMe page to help him with basic living expenses during this time. Will has been forced to close his computer consulting business as well as his fledgling but enormously popular bakery, Burly Bakers.
New Doc Tells How Two Gay Iraqi Soldiers Fell In Love Surrounded By War – WATCH
New Doc Tells How Two Gay Iraqi Soldiers Fell In Love Surrounded By War – WATCH
A new documentary tells how two gay Iraqi soldiers met and fell in love during the U.S.-led invasion and occupation of Iraq.
Out of Iraq, which premiered at the L.A. Film Festival earlier this month and debuts on June 13 on Logo, follows Nayyef Hrebid, a translator working for the U.S. military, and Btoo Allami, a former soldier in the Iraqi army.
The pair recently spoke with TIME about how their romance bloomed in the harshest of climates. Hrebid said of the night they first kissed,
“We were on a mission and I’m still not completely sure if he’s gay or not, and same thing for him. But I feel he is, just the way I look into his eyes. And that night we sat together and he just told me he loved me and we just started kissing each other. I knew he liked me the way I liked him. In that time everything changed.
Allami added, “After that first kiss, for two days, I did not eat anything. Believe me, anything. The feeling was amazing. I thought, ‘He is my life.’”
After expressing their affection for one another, they still had to be careful of being detected. Hrebid said,
“It wasn’t completely happy because we were still hiding. When we would meet on vacation together, we go to a different city where no one recognized us. We’d book the hotel as friends and we’d be there as friends and we could only be ourselves inside this room. The feeling just of being together was so beautiful. At the same time, we know what’s going to happen if [others] find out about us or our relationship.”
You can read Hrebid and Allami’s interview in full here.
And watch a clip and 2 trailers for Out of Iraq, below.
The post New Doc Tells How Two Gay Iraqi Soldiers Fell In Love Surrounded By War – WATCH appeared first on Towleroad.
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Mid-Game Wardrobe Malfunction Reveals Australian Footballer Latrell Mitchell’s Finest Assets
Mid-Game Wardrobe Malfunction Reveals Australian Footballer Latrell Mitchell’s Finest Assets
Sport has the unique ability to bring people together across class lines, in spite of prejudice and in celebration of the physical form.
And never has that been truer than this mishap of Latrell Mitchell, professional player for National Rugby League team the Sydney Roosters.
Mitchell plays primarily as a fullback, and we can only assume that’s because he has one full-as-hell backside.
Check out the NSFW perfection here.
Lea DeLaria: Get Rid Of ‘LGBTQ’ In Favor Of ‘Queer’
Lea DeLaria: Get Rid Of ‘LGBTQ’ In Favor Of ‘Queer’
Suspect Accused of Drugging, Robbing Older Gay Men: ‘They Had Buyer’s Remorse’ – VIDEO
Suspect Accused of Drugging, Robbing Older Gay Men: ‘They Had Buyer’s Remorse’ – VIDEO
The attorney for a suspect accused of drugging and robbing several older gay men in Boston claims the victims only reported the crimes because they had “relationship regret” and “buyer’s remorse.”
Riccardo D’Orsainville, 51, is accused of drugging his victims in 2013 before stealing their artwork, jewelry, electronics and designer clothes. He pleaded not guilty Wednesday to charges of kidnapping, poisoning, larceny and receiving stolen property, and his bond was reduced from $250,000 to $100,000.
NEW: Riccardo D’Orsainville. “Conman” accused of drugging/robbing wealthy gay men in Boston area. pic.twitter.com/aKzdXbkWHL
— Ted Daniel (@tvnewzted) May 10, 2016
From The Boston Globe:
Authorities have said D’Orsainville passed himself off as a wealthy European, and contacted one of the victims through Silver Daddies, a website for older gay men looking for sexual partners. Two others, he allegedly met at a bar.
The victims brought him to their homes, had a few drinks with him, and passed out. All regained consciousness to find artwork and designer clothes were missing, prosecutors have said.
D’Orsainville allegedly stole a tuxedo from one man. Another victim woke up with his hands bound behind his back
D’Orsainville is a Haitian national who has a lengthy criminal record, including credit card fraud and embezzlement. However, federal authorities have not deported him because he’s gay and could face discrimination in Haiti.
Watch a report from WHDH-TV below.
The post Suspect Accused of Drugging, Robbing Older Gay Men: ‘They Had Buyer’s Remorse’ – VIDEO appeared first on Towleroad.
Jim Obergefell Explains How His Brief Marriage Helped Fuel the Fight for Equality: WATCH
Jim Obergefell Explains How His Brief Marriage Helped Fuel the Fight for Equality: WATCH
One important marriage that fueled the fight for the freedom to marry only lasted for three months and 11 days.
Former realtor and IT consultant Jim Obergefell became an “accidental activist,” as he likes to call himself, when he decided to marry his partner of 20 years, John Arthur, in 2013.
Arthur had been diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), a nervous system disease that weakens muscles and impacts physical function, and in less than two years he was already confined to bed with not much time left to live. Obergefell wanted his name on Arthur’s death certificate as the surviving spouse, a request the state of Ohio, where same-sex marriage was illegal at the time, opposed.
They had already been together for 20 years, but they always said they would only tie the knot when marriage had actual legal weight. After the 2013 Supreme Court ruling that struck down the Defense of Marriage Act, Obergefell finally proposed. Because of Arthur’s advanced ALS state, they had to take an ambulance to the airport, and then fly on a medical jet to Maryland, where marriage was legal.
Arthur died three months later. After his death they got what they wanted: Obergefell’s name was listed as the surviving spouse, but the state of Ohio appealed to a higher court and won.
Obergefell then appealed to the U.S. Supreme Court, and the rest is history. He became the named plaintiff in a consolidated appeals case which the Supreme Court agreed to hear; a case that later became synonym with same-sex marriage: Obergefell v. Hodges.
Almost one year after that historic ruling, Obergefell is now telling the story of the lovers, lawyers and judges who made the legalization of same-sex marriage possible. His upcoming book “Love Wins: The Lovers and Lawyers Who Fought the Landmark Case for Marriage Equality,” which he co-wrote with Pulitzer prize winner journalist Debbie Cenziper, will be released on June, 14.
Yesterday, Jim Obergefell sat down with Washington Post columnist Steven Petrow on a Facebook chat to talk about his new role as an “intentional activist,” the love story with his late husband, and that little Supreme Court decision that forever changed our lives.
He also answers questions from viewers, reads from the book and he’s joined by co-author Cenziper at the end.
Check out the video below:
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Judge Victoria Kolakowski, California’s Only Openly Transgender Elected Public Official, Reelected
Judge Victoria Kolakowski, California’s Only Openly Transgender Elected Public Official, Reelected
Judge Victoria Kolakowski, California’s only openly transgender elected public official, was re-elected Tuesday in an uncontested election for a seat on the Alameda County Superior Court.
The Queens native graduated from Louisiana State University’s law school in 1989, and is the first openly transgender trial court judge in the United States (between her first election and the beginning of her term, the Hon. Phyllis Frye was appointed and sworn in as an Associate Municipal Court Judge in Houston, Texas, making Judge Frye the first openly transgender judge.)
She then appealed to the Louisiana State Bar, and two days later the unanimous decision came: “They all thought it was silly,” she says.
With 27 years of legal experience, Judge Kolakowski first made news in 2010, when she won a tight race against John Creighton, a prosecutor for 25 years, who had been endorsed by most of the county’s judges. Her campaign focused on younger voters, women, people of color and especially the LGBT community. She was endorsed by the Equality California PAC, the “nation’s largest statewide lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender civil rights organization dedicated to creating a fair and just society.”
Kolakowski was the recipient of the Vanguard Award from the Transgender Law Center in 2012. In 2014, she received the first “Pioneer in the Law Award” from California Women Lawyers, and was the honored guest of Transgender Equality Network Ireland’s at Dublin Pride. Last year she was honored by the Alameda County Bar Association with its Distinguished Service Award for judges.
“I am deeply honored to be re-elected unopposed to serve the people of Alameda County for another six years” said Kolakowski about yesterday’s re-election. “I pledge to continue to honor my commitment to judge fairly, treat all people who appear in front of me with dignity and respect, and to promote access to justice for all people.”
Rick Zbur, executive director of Equality California celebrates the accomplishment: “Judge Victoria Kolakowski broke barriers when she was first elected as the country’s first openly transgender trial judge in 2010. She continues to blaze trails today as the only openly transgender elected government official in California. We have been thrilled to support her over the years and congratulate her on winning another term on the bench.”
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