Dan Savage Proposes Some Winning Fixes for Logo’s Gay ‘Bachelor’ Clone ‘Finding Prince Charming’

Savage Love sexpert and TV producer Dan Savage makes a great point about the upcoming Logo Bachelor clone, Finding Prince Charming, set to premiere this week.

The “scarcity formula” used by ABC for its competition among heterosexuals (“an imbalance between supply of pussy/cock and demand for pussy/cock,” as Savage, puts it) makes no sense in a gay context in which men would be likely to run off with each other instead of the bachelor (and just might).

As Savage notes, Funny or Die diagnosed the problem in 2013, but offered no solution:

Logo appears to just be trying to clone the hetero version with no vision of how much more interesting the show could be.

Savage puts forth some excellent new scarcity formulas the show could use to help it work in a gay context:

Just cast one exclusive gay top as your bachelor and thirteen gay power bottoms as your suitors. Or vice-versa. That’s all it would take.

But if you really wanted to have some fun with the intricacies and subcultures of gay male desire…

Cast a hunky older bear as the bachelor and thirteen skinny twinks who are exclusively attracted to hunky older bears as his suitors. Or vice-versa. Or cast a hot leather/BDSM Master as the bachelor and thirteen leather/BDSM slaves as his suitors. Or vice-versa. (No switches!) Or cast one skinny guy into big guys as the bachelor and thirteen big guys into skinny guys as his suitors. Or vice-versa.

Added bonus: Gay people know these complications exist, straight people are fascinated by them, and including/mining them would make for a crazier, more informed, and interesting show.

Without some other form of scarcity, without creating a different supply and demand problem, there’s nothing to prevent the suitors on Finding Prince Charming from running off with each other or (more likely) winding up in a writhing heap on the lawn. Unless the suitors are all sexually incompatible in a fundamental and insurmountable way and the “star” gay bachelor is their only sexual/romantic counterpart—the gay suitors are all pots, the gay bachelor is the only lid.

What are some other scarcity formulas that would work?

RELATED: Logo Had No Idea Their ‘Gay Bachelor’ Robert Sepulveda Jr. Once Worked as an Escort

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Are You Ready To See Ryan Lochte Bare It All For ‘Playgirl’?

If Ryan Lochte is looking for a way to shake off that whole Rio non-robbery scandal, he may have just been handed the perfect opportunity: Playgirl.

After lying about being robbed at gunpoint while competing in the Rio Olympics last month, Lochte issued a very long-winded half-apology on Instagram, claiming he should have been “more careful and candid” about the way he told his story. But that wasn’t quite enough to prevent Speedo and Ralph Lauren from pulling endorsement deals with the gold medalist, or stop Rio police from charging him with providing a false claim of a robbery, which carries a sentence of up to 18 months in prison.

Related: 10 Times Ryan Lochte Was A Perfect ‘Sex Idiot’

But now, after nearly a month of consistently bad news, there may be a light at the end of the tunnel for the douchey 34-year-old swimmer, because the good people at Playgirl say they would like to speak with him about a possible job opportunity.

“We are reaching out to him with an offer,” Daniel Nardicio, a spokesperson for the company, says. “Now that he’s out of his Speedo sponsorship deal, Playgirl wants to get Ryan Lochte out of his Speedos.”

He added: “We’re fully prepared to handle this ‘brah’ (as Ryan would say), and take his studliness to new heights, in a huge offer to show American men and women what Ryan Lochte really would do—naked.”

Related: WATCH: Ryan Lochte Shaves His Entire Body, “Even The Bits You Don’t See!”

Nardicio went on to explain that Playgirl believes Lochte has all the right ingredients to make for an delicious online spread.

“Sexiness, athleticism and he’s totally masculine,” he said. “What he did in Rio was stupid, so we’d even offer to donate his fee to a Brazilian charity of his choice!”

No word yet on whether Lochte is even considering the offer. Let’s just hope that if he accepts he doesn’t pull a Levi Johnston.

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PHOTOS: The Boys Are Sweet As Candy In Brussels

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Niall Horan, Coughing, Bridgegate, Amazon, Harry Styles, Cape Kiwanda, Lady Gaga, Golden Retriever: HOT LINKS

ALLERGIC TO TRUMP. Hillary Clinton lands one-liner amid coughing spell. “Every time I think of Trump, I get allergic.”

TRUMP. People don’t care about my taxes. “As far as my taxes are concerned, the only one that cares is the press, I will tell you,” Trump said in an interview Monday with ABC’s David Muir that aired Tuesday on “Good Morning America. “And even the press, I tell you, it’s not a big deal.”

WASHINGTON POST. Donald Trump thinks we’re all chumps: “How else to judge his assumption that he can be elected without sharing basic information? He has released no meaningful health records. He has put forward virtually no serious policy proposals. Unlike every other major-party nominee of the modern era, he refuses to release his tax forms.”

BRIDGEGATE. Trial to begin in New Jersey: “The trial in the George Washington Bridge lane-closing scandal, which is scheduled to open on Thursday with jury selection, will play out like a documentary on the rise and fall of Mr. Christie’s presidential ambitions, a tell-all tale of how he and his aides built his administration and his 2013 re-election campaign with an eye to winning the White House, then scrambled to contain the damage as inquiries into the lane closings began to wreck those hopes.”

MORE TIME OFF. Amazon institutes 30-hour workweek for some employees. “By offering employees more flexibility, Amazon sends the message that life outside of work matters.”

SRI LANKA. Push to decriminalize homosexuality is underway.

SHE’S GOT SASSE. Kylie Minogue says her fiancé is a champion of gay rights: “He’s so adamant to fight for gay rights in Australia and it’s coming from the most genuine place. He just can’t fathom that same sex marriage hasn’t been legalised and of course I back him up on that, we are waiting for it to happen.”

FRANK BRUNI. The big gay sway. “Public opinion polls leave no doubt that a significant majority of Americans support laws protecting L.G.B.T. people from discrimination and approve of same-sex marriage. But that doesn’t mean that they prioritize the issue and punish politicians with contrary views. The results of many elections suggest that they don’t. I think that’s changing, and 2016 could be the proof of it.”

THE OTHER DIRECTION. Niall Horan snubs Simon Cowell, heads for solo career at Universal.

SOUTH AFRICA. Homophobic pastor Steven Anderson can visit the country if he “behaves”. “Legislation and the implications for South Africa were considered, and the department’s earlier decision would stand: he can come, but if he breaks the law through his speeches, or pamphlets, action would be taken. ‘If he contravenes our laws we will detain him, we will consider prosecution,’ said Home Affairs spokesperson Mayihlome Tshwete.”

CAPE KIWANDA. Loser vandals destroy famous Oregon sandstone formation at state park: “David Kalas, a beachgoer, captured a video of three people apparently toppling the sandstone treasure. A fourth sat on the rocks steps away and watched the incident, according to the video. Kalas sent the video to multiple media outlets. Havel said several people have contacted the parks bureau with screenshots of social media accounts and potential leads.”

SPACE. The Rosetta spacecraft has found the Philae Lander wedged into a dark ditch on Comet 67P/Churyumov–Gerasimenko.

PERFECT ILLUSION. Lady Gaga’s new single is out Friday and she just shot a Robert Maxwell-designed video in the desert. BloodPop, Mark Ronson and Tame Impala’s Kevin Parker produced.

REAL ESTATE. One Direction’s Harry Styles bought a plush pad on the Sunset Strip.

NYC. Loser destroys selfie sticks with hedge clippers.

ITALY. A golden retriever was pulled from the rubble in Amatrice, Italy 10 days after the earthquake.

TOO HOT FOR TUESDAY. Dancer and model Louis McMiller.

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Steve Grand Gets Sexual with a Caulk Gun – LOOK

Singer-songwriter Steve Grand got a little dirty on Instagram over the weekend while working on an at home DIY project that was built for making sexual puns.

The “All-American Boy” took on the daunting yet essential task of caulking.

For those unfamiliar, to caulk is casually defined as “to fill the cracks or holes in (something) with a substance that keeps out water.” Okay, that actually isn’t helping things sound any less sexual. Let’s try the full definition: “to stop up and make tight against leakage.”

Okay, never mind with the definition.

The point is, Grand was filling in some holes and decided to get punny with a social media post.

Sharing a photo of himself holding a caulk gun with a bit of caulk on his face, Grand wrote,

Shooting this white stuff out of my big gun into every hole I can find. Possibly getting carried away, but it’s hard! not to get excited! I even got some in my hair and on my face. It’s fun to make a mess sometimes, but never so fun to clean. :/ Mostly can’t wait for this to be finished. And by that point, I will have hopefully filled up every hole and crack in the structure so that no screaming… I mean singing… Can be heard from the outside.
Hope you guys at enjoying your Saturday! 🙂
#DIY #VocalBooth

Apparently, Grand just couldn’t get the caulk out of his hair and off his body, as a second selfie revealed:

Post shower. And I even used the rough side of my body scrubber thing!

Now how am I suppose to find someone to love me with all this mysterious white stuff caked on me?!? Me: “It’s Green Glue Acoustical Sealant, I swear!” Perfect-guy-that-meets-who-would-have-married-me-if-I-didn’t-have-caulk-all-over-my-face: “…Yeah… Sure it is.” *walks away* *Forever* *Marries someone I’m jealous of* *has perfect life*
#FML

Sending thots and prayers to Grand at this difficult time.

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Recreation and Attractions Both Indoors and Outdoors Await You in Exhilarating Las Vegas

SlotZilla.

Experience a side of Las Vegas you may never even knew existed. Check out the many outdoor activities and attractions as well as the luxurious accommodations you can always enjoy in Las Vegas.     

Shark Reef Aquarium at Mandalay Bay.

How about a little fun on the water? The Lake Mead National Recreation Area offers a wealth of things to do and places to go year-round. Its huge lake caters to boaters, swimmers, sunbathers and fishermen, while its desert rewards hikers, wildlife photographers and roadside sightseers. Three of America’s four desert ecosystems−the Mojave, the Great Basin and the Sonoran Deserts − meet in Lake Mead NRA. As a result, this seemingly barren area contains a surprising variety of plants and animals, some of which may be found nowhere else in the world. 

Another way to enjoy the water and its inhabitants without getting soaked is a journey through the Shark Reef Aquarium at Mandalay Bay. Take a 14-exhibit adventure through a jungle environment into a sunken shipwreck where you will see 2,000 animals, including some of the most dangerous predators in the world.

Seven Magic Mountains by Ugo Rondinone.

For some more unparalleled scenery, visit Mount Charleston Recreational Area. You’ll experience exhilarating hiking and camping, and it’s the ideal setting for a relaxing picnic. The lower foot hills are covered with pinion pine and juniper trees. There is also a variety of wildlife in the area, including Rocky Mountain elk, desert bighorn sheep, mule deer and many others. If you’re an art fan, visit the Seven Magic Mountains art installation. This colorful two-year exhibition features seven 30- to 35-foot dayglow totems made of painted, locally sourced boulders.

Springs Preserve.

Learn a little about the Southwest at Springs Preserve, the indoor/outdoor non-gaming attraction that entertains visitors of all ages. Two indoor air-conditioned galleries contain over 300 interactive exhibits. Outdoors, experience an eight-acre botanical garden, over three miles of walking trails, a Child’s Play area, or take in a concert in the amphitheater under the stars. 

Mob Museum.

For more exciting indoor attractions, visit the interactive Mob Museum in downtown Las Vegas, or get your adrenaline pumping with the thrill of skydiving without jumping out of a plane at Vegas Indoor Skydiving.

The Venetian.

When it’s time to unwind, you’ll love the accommodations downtown at the Golden Nugget. From more than 2,400 rooms to the hotel’s gold-leaf facade, everything is rich with Victorian refinement and sheer elegance here. The largest resort in Downtown Las Vegas continues to be a great experience for all of its guests. On the Strip, the spirit of Italy is alive in The Venetian resort, complete with frescos, plenty of pasta, canals, gondolas and strolling performers. The hotel offers spacious, beautifully appointed suites, an impressive upscale shopping center, gourmet restaurants and cafés, attractions and more.

Plan your next amazing Las Vegas getaway today at LasVegas.com!

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State Department Welcomes Applications for Key Populations Investment Fund

LGBTQ people have long faced violence in many parts of the world, which often prevents them from seeking or receiving HIV-related services. To help combat this problem, the U.S. State Department’s Global AIDS Coordinator recently announced the creation of a $100 million “Key Populations Investment Fund” over the next five years to combat stigma and violence against LGBTQ people and other groups. The Global AIDS Coordinator’s Office is now welcoming applications for funding through October 21.

“We will only end the AIDS epidemic by 2030 if no one is left behind,” said U.S. Global AIDS Coordinator Ambassador Deborah L. Birx, M.D., who oversees the U.S. President’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief (PEPFAR), which is the U.S. Government’s chief initiative to help save the lives of those living with and affected by HIV and AIDS around the world. “It is unacceptable that key populations still face stigma, discrimination, and violence, which impede their ability to access quality HIV services. PEPFAR stands firmly and unequivocally with and for key populations.”

Key populations in this context are those communities who are most impacted by the HIV epidemic and whose treatment is neglected far too often. This list includes LGBTQ people, sex workers, people who inject drugs and people in prisons. LGBTQ people in particular face stigma, violence and discrimination in many parts of the world and often avoid HIV clinics out of fear for their own safety.

Funding from this new initiative will go to community-based organizations (CBOs) that serve those key populations in 38 countries. The money has specifically been set aside to help international CBOs identify and knock down barriers that prevent people from accessing HIV-related services. Funding can also be used to promote the human rights and social justice of all people regardless of their HIV status.

“It is critically important for PEPFAR to be prioritizing the human rights of LGBTQ people in this way,” said Ty Cobb, Director of HRC’s Global Program. “Particularly at a time when we see certain countries trying to keep LGBTQ people and other key populations out of the conversation around HIV, we applaud the U.S. government’s efforts to put key populations front and center where they belong.”

Funding will be spread out over the next five years and will be distributed among at least 10 “prime” recipients, with awards ranging from $500,000 to $10 million.

For more information about the fund, click here. 

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Trump’s Campaign Staff May Be The Most Homophobic Ever

Donald Trump offers many distinctions as a candidate: the most narcissistic, most bombastic, most orange candidate ever. But his campaign staff has a truly appalling distinction all its own: it may well be the most homophobic ever. Trump has surrounded himself with a virtual Murderer’s Row of far-right crazies who are calling the shots in Trump’s disorganized march on the White House.

It’s not as if previous GOP presidential campaigns didn’t have their share of anti-gay staffers. But, to the dismay of the right, they were often offset by campaign officials who were surprising supportive. Mitt Romney actually appointed a gay foreign policy expert to the campaign, Richard Grenell, until the religious right forced Grenell to resign. John McCain’s campaign manager, Steve Schmidt, was an early supporter of marriage equality and reached out to gay voters. Even George W. Bush had Dick Cheney making pro-gay noises, even as Karl Rove was fanning anti-marriage flames.

You’ll look in vain for a similar counterbalance in Trump’s campaign staff. As befitting the candidate’s own background, the campaign leaders don’t pack a lot of high-level political experience. Instead, they floated around the fringes, aided by the far-right echo chamber. For a man who hasn’t feasted on homophobia the way he has on racism, Trump has picked a surprisingly wretched crew to surround himself with.

Here’s a rundown of the low-lifes that are running the Trump campaign these days:

Kellyanne Conway

Conway has the official total of campaign manager, but she operates more as a spokesperson. Whatever she may be, Conway has a long antigay track record. For one, she was the pollster for the National Organization for Marriage, cooking up survey results that buoyed the organization’s stance even as its political power was eroding. For another, she worked for Ted Cruz before moving over to Trump.

As a pundit in the conservative bubble, Conway could be counted on to express her revulsion at anything lavender. Gay marriage? Two years ago, on a panel with NOM’s Maggie Gallagher, Conway said Americans were  “sick of lawyers in black robes making stuff up” and people redefining family to be “whatever feels cool.” When John Kerry noted that Dick Cheney’s daughter was a lesbian, Conway complained that it was the same as calling her a slut. When a children’s TV show portrayed two lesbian mothers, Conway exploded that  “regular Americans are standing up and saying … ‘I try to protect my kids from outside, external influences corrupting their minds and their bodies.’” There’s plenty more, but you get the idea.

David Bossie

Trump’s latest campaign hire is the man who brought us Citizens United, the group whose lawsuit successfully opened the floodgates to corporate money in politics. He’s really But Bossie’s agenda also includes attacking gays. When Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was repealed, Bossie predicted that Marines would abandon the services in droves, leading to the restoration of the draft. “Pushing this legislation during a global war on terror is a dereliction of duty,” Bossie proclaimed. Bossie also bestowed a Free Speech award on Duck Dynasty patriarch Phil Robertson for his offensive remarks about homosexuality. “Even when the entire mainstream media demanded he disavow his beliefs and attempted to have him fired from his own hit show for expressing these beliefs, he stood firm in his faith,” Bossie said.

Steve Bannon

As the campaign CEO, Bannon advocates for Trump to be even more Trump. As head of Breitbart News, Bannon played a key role in the mainstreaming of the white supremacist alt-right. He’s also directed the site to portray the LGBT community in the most lurid and defamatory manner possible. Of course, that’s when he’s not slurring us himself. In the past week, a tape from 2011 emerged in which Bannon complained that conservative women like Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann were attacked by liberals who prefered “a bunch of dykes that came from the Seven Sisters schools.” Unsurprisingly, one of Bannon’s former employees says that such comments are par for the course: “He made more off-color comments about minorities and homosexuals than I can recount.”

Mike Pence

The vice presidential candidate isn’t in the campaign leadership. At times, he barely seems to be part of the ticket at all. But for reliable homophobia, no one can beat the man who made homophobia a hallmark of his political career. He should feel right at home with the new gang.

Photo credit: Gage Skidmore

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MMA Fighter Nicolas Dalby Stands with the LGBTQ Community at UFC Weigh-In

MMA fighter Nicolas Dalby weighed in for a match at UFC Fight Night in Hamburg, Germany on Saturday flaunting his support for the LGBTQ community in a “We Are All Fighters” t-shirt. He later posted a photo to Instagram.

Wrote Dalby: “Weigh-ins for #UFCHamburg done! 170 and ready to smash Sobotta! 😈 But it was more important for me to show my support for the #LGBTQ community ❤️💛💚💙💜. #WeAreAllOne“

Here’s video:

Dalby lost his match to Peter Sobotta.

Wrote Sports Joe: “Nicolas Dalby entered into the UFC as an undefeated prospect, but after suffering a lopsided unanimous decision loss (30-26 across) to Peter Sobotta in the lion’s den at the weekend, he holds a record of 1-2-1 on MMA’s biggest stage. Dalby showed an almost superhuman ability to take damage without being finished to see the tough contest out until the final buzzer. Sobotta rocked him with a huge right uppercut midway through the first round.”

Dalby later showed off a bruised eye and said he had a broken orbital bone.

Maybe a little massage will be of help:

Dalby talked about wearing the “We Are All Fighters” shirt in a post-match interview with MMAViking.com:

“[Gay rights] doesn’t come up to the surface that often [in UFC fighting]. I have a bunch of good friends that are gay as well so I just wanted to show that Mixed Martial Arts and support of the gay community can go hand in hand.”

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