Turns Out Grindr Is A Godsend If You’re Gay, Twentysomething, And Disabled

Grindr can all-too-easily become a time-sucking vacuum that snags you in endless convos with headless torsos, but for many gay men, it’s an essential tool in their dating arsenal.

That’s certainly the case with Josh Hepple, a twentysomething with cerebral palsy. He published an article in The Guardian about exactly how the dating app has revolutionized his romantic life.

“Sex and disability are rarely thought of in tandem,” he writes, going on to describe himself as having “a fairly stereotypical lifestyle for someone in his mid-20s in central London.”

Related: This Bathhouse-Loving Disabled Adult Film Star Hopes To Break Into The Gay-For-Pay Genre

But there are a few major differences:

” I use a wheelchair, I have jerky involuntary movements, I rely on assistants 24/7 and I have a speech impairment. At the same time I have a good sex life and really enjoy challenging men’s conceptions of disability.”

His assistants have now become accustomed to his many “walks,” the euphemism he uses to announce an imminent Grindr adventure:

My assistants are now entirely used to me sitting there on the hook-up while they feed me my dinner rather than feeling apprehensive around the infamous orange glow.

The assistants always disappear in one way or another before any encounter. I keep what I tell guys to a minimum.”

Related: What It’s Like To Date Someone Who Is Disabled (According To My Non-Disabled Exes)

When they arrive, Grindr dates are often “perplexed” by the situation. “It doesn’t help that I live in student accommodation and quite often the guys think my panic cord flushes the toilet,” he writes.

It’s not unusual for guys his age to initially respond with apprehension:

People walk towards me and then turn back. When I check my phone I see that I’ve been blocked (even though I do emphasize the extent of my impairment many times before meeting). I know plenty of my non-disabled comrades also get blocked, but it took some time to get used to. I remind myself that it’s just sex and nothing more.

On the other hand, men in their 40s and older tend to be more comfortable with the situation:

When it comes to Grindr I generally go for guys around 40 as they tend not to have any issues with my movements. I meet around three a week (if not more) and have rarely had a bad time.”

Since he’s unable to masturbate, he instead relies on the kindness of strangers, which he thinks “raises a few issues.”

Is this dignified? Luckily, I have had many, many great experiences. I acknowledge that not everyone who has issues with masturbation may feel comfortable asking men on Grindr (especially if they are straight) to help them perform the deed and possibly go further, yet it would automatically, by definition, turn into sex work if I relied on paid support. I am not sure of the best solution.”

Related: My Big Fat Disabled Relationship: Finding Love When You Have A Disability

Since joining Grindr 18 months ago, he’s met 60 or so men — and he’d never had any sexual encounters prior to that. Overall, he’s found the experience “unbelievably rewarding and liberating.”

It is a far cry from how I am often treated in public. I guess you could argue it’s a case of equality between the sheets rather than in the streets.

The whole article, worth reading in its entirety, can be found here.

www.queerty.com/turns-grindr-godsend-youre-gay-twentysomething-disabled-20161204?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+queerty2+%28Queerty%29

Walmart Settles Class Action Lawsuit Over Same-Sex Spousal Benefits

Around 1,000 people will be compensated as part of the settlement.

www.advocate.com/politics/2016/12/03/walmart-settles-class-action-lawsuit-over-same-sex-spousal-benefits

Native Son Awards Celebrate Gay Black Men (Photos)

www.advocate.com/pride/2016/12/01/native-son-awards-celebrate-gay-black-men-photos

Cristiano Ronaldo Proves He’s the ‘Blue Steel’ of Real Madrid in Shirtless Team Selfie

Following the team’s match-up with Barcelona in El Clasico, the Real Madrid team posed for a group photo and Cristiano Ronaldo proved that even though the match was a tie he could still win the selfie game.

The post Cristiano Ronaldo Proves He’s the ‘Blue Steel’ of Real Madrid in Shirtless Team Selfie appeared first on Towleroad.

Cristiano Ronaldo Proves He’s the ‘Blue Steel’ of Real Madrid in Shirtless Team Selfie

Anderson Cooper’s Beefy Boyfriend, Colton Haynes’ Rainbow Heart & Milk’s New Fashion Gig

This week, while Donald Trump filled his cabinet with more homophobes, Mike Pence was trolled by his pro-gay neighbors, Lucian Piane tweeted a picture of his dick, and some rare Madonna polaroids finally saw the light of day. Here’s what happened on Instagram:

Andrew Hayden-Smith got naked for World AIDS Day.

#TBT to that time @attitudemag persuaded to me to sit naked on a space hopper to raise awareness for #worldaidsday Well obviously! ???

A photo posted by Andrew Hayden-Smith (@andrewhaydensmith) on Dec 1, 2016 at 1:30am PST

Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen sandwiched their favorite hag.

THRUPPLE ALERT! Kelly & I promise to make Anderson as uncomfortable as possible tonight! See you on #WWHL #squad – photo: @charlessykes

A photo posted by Andy Cohen (@bravoandy) on Nov 30, 2016 at 7:03pm PST

X Factor contestant Marlon McKenzie spent the week wet.

Weekend ? SC: ?Supermkz

A photo posted by ????? ??????? Marlon Mckenzie (@marlonmckenzie) on Dec 2, 2016 at 9:20am PST

Somebody punched Blake Skjellerup in the face!

Last night whilst enjoying a night out with some friends, a male who wasn’t part of our group pushed the only female in our group, from behind. She fell into me and banged her face, quite hard. So I politely asked him to apologise and told him to never push a woman. Instead of apologising he took a swing at me, I took a swing back at him, then his “mates” jumped in. 4 on 1 is totally a fair fight. Came away relatively unscathed and feeling proud in the fact that my hair didn’t get messed up.

A photo posted by Blake Skjellerup (@blakeskjellerup) on Nov 26, 2016 at 6:20pm PST

Brazilian gymnast Danilo Lobo tested new proteins.

Boa noite pra geral que dorme assim ? aguarrado nos amiguinhos ??? #motivation #inspiration #fitness #teamfarmaforma #health #fitnesslifestyle #fitnessmodel #fit #mensphysique #ficargrande #bodybuilding #saude #fitfood #muscle #foco? #fitboy

A photo posted by Danilo Lobo®? (@danilolobooficial) on Nov 30, 2016 at 6:22pm PST

Michael B. Jordan showed off his ink.

A photo posted by michaelbjordan (@michaelbjordan) on Dec 2, 2016 at 9:32am PST

Colton Haynes enjoyed the view.

Enjoying the view lol ??? Aloha

A photo posted by Colton Haynes (@coltonlhaynes) on Nov 26, 2016 at 10:47pm PST

He also wore his first rainbow!

Happy Thanksgiving! Know that we are all stronger together & should continue to spread love. Sneak of Drop #4 on ColtonHaynes.com ! Get it this Cyber Monday @ 10am PST!!! #StrongerTogether

A photo posted by Colton Haynes (@coltonlhaynes) on Nov 24, 2016 at 2:19pm PST

Italian swimmer Gregorio Paltrinieri posed for GQ Italia.

Gregorio Paltrinieri: «Voglio vincere tutto, da capo». Sul numero di dicembre GQ celebra sei campioni Azzurri, 100 giorni dopo le Olimpiadi di Rio Foto di VanMossevelde+N @vanmosseveldeplusn Servizio di @AndreaTenerani Intervista di Cristina D’Antonio T-shirt EA7 @armani, costume Arena @arenawaterinstinct #gqlikes #gqdicembre @greg_palt

A photo posted by GQ Italia (@gqitalia) on Dec 1, 2016 at 9:07am PST

Luke Evans painted an elephant’s face.

Lakshmi is one of two elephants adopted by the lovely people @deraamercamp. For years she took tourists round the fort at Jaipur. Now she hangs out on a tranquil farm. She even allowed me to paint her face. What do you think?? she wanted to play – her trunk was all over the place! But you have to be careful when your playmate is a 4 tonne Asian elephant.

A photo posted by thereallukeevans (@thereallukeevans) on Nov 28, 2016 at 3:41am PST

Anderson Cooper shared a rare shot of his boyfriend, Benjamin Maisani.

A photo posted by andersoncooper (@andersoncooper) on Nov 25, 2016 at 6:14pm PST

Kevin Hart flaunted his #HardWork and #Dedication.

#FlexFriday #HardWork #Dedication #MoveWithHart

A photo posted by Kevin Hart (@kevinhart4real) on Dec 2, 2016 at 10:38am PST

Gregg Sulkin challenged David Henrie to an arm wrestling match.

We were meant to have a meeting.

A photo posted by Gregg Sulkin (@greggsulkin) on Dec 1, 2016 at 2:50pm PST

Good thing he’s been working on those guns!

Let’s get at it #fitness @mackfit

A video posted by Gregg Sulkin (@greggsulkin) on Dec 2, 2016 at 11:36am PST

Noah Galvin got physical with some beefy babes.

#BTS #TheRealONeals #ILoveMyJob

A photo posted by Noah Galvin (@noahegalvin) on Nov 30, 2016 at 3:33pm PST

Lance Bass and Michael Turchin hung with Britney on her birthday!

Just another boring Friday night…. ???

A photo posted by Michael Turchin (@michaelturchinart) on Dec 2, 2016 at 11:18pm PST

Zac Efron got ready for the weekend.

Ready for the weekend like… #TGIF

A photo posted by Gabe I (@ginyangsworld) on Dec 2, 2016 at 7:44am PST

Terry Miller flaunted his literal daddy status. Can you believe this man has an adult child?

-DADDY- #BoyScoutModernSanSerif #EdRuscha #TypefaceMatters Join me at the SF Eagle tonight for ?Make Out Party?.

A photo posted by Terry Miller (@terrysphots) on Nov 19, 2016 at 6:19pm PST

Fitness model Brandon Wickens tried a new beard conditioner…

Thank you @teddywinstonbrand. Perfect beard oil, beard conditioner, hair and body wash and exfoliating body scrub. BRANDON10 gets you a discount. All my bearded bros out there, I used to think beard products were sort of bullshit to be honest. But then I grew a beard. And then Teddy Winston showed up. The rest is history.

A photo posted by fitness | lifestyle | fashion (@brandonwickens) on Nov 11, 2016 at 10:53pm PST

…and it’s beautiful.

Was a pleasure shooting with an absolute beast of a photographer @aous_photo. We didn’t even plan this shot. He’s a master of natural light and really knows his shit. If anyone out there is looking for an excellent photographer – slide right on into this man’s DM’s.

A photo posted by fitness | lifestyle | fashion (@brandonwickens) on Nov 8, 2016 at 5:56pm PST

Willie Gomez was profiled by Attitude.

Thank you @attitudemag for having me in this new issue and to these legends for making it happen! Ph @markcantdotcom St @josephkocharian Gr @marcoantoniolondon #williegomez

A photo posted by Willie Gomez (@williegomez) on Dec 2, 2016 at 12:40pm PST

Milk and bf James Whiteside played “football” in the new Thom Browne ad.

#thombrownefootball ? : @danielseunglee

A photo posted by Milk (@bigandmilky) on Nov 23, 2016 at 2:00pm PST

Tag team, anyone?

sundays are for football or whatevs. #thombrownefootball — ? : @danielseunglee

A photo posted by Milk (@bigandmilky) on Nov 27, 2016 at 7:45am PST

Shawn Mendes met Drake.

Pickering Gawd @shawnmendes ??????

A photo posted by champagnepapi (@champagnepapi) on Nov 21, 2016 at 1:34am PST

And then he took it off for Flaunt.

@shawnmendes is one of the covers for #thenocturneissue, photographed by @bradelterman and styled by @seanknight, here wearing @guess jeans and @calvinklein underwear . Film (available on Flaunt.com) directed by @tyler.kindred | Groomer: @heyannabee using @shuuemura and @armanibeauty| Producer: @richgreens | Location: #theevilrocknrollcat

A photo posted by Flaunt Magazine (@flauntmagazine) on Dec 1, 2016 at 11:25am PST

Swoooon.

Shawn Mendes shows off his abs for @FlauntMagazine ???

A photo posted by Gay Times Magazine ???? (@gaytimesmag) on Dec 3, 2016 at 1:58am PST

www.queerty.com/anderson-coopers-beefy-boyfriend-colton-haynes-rainbow-heart-milks-new-fashion-gig-20161203?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+queerty2+%28Queerty%29