Wednesday, June 1, 2016. On this date, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer bloggers, their family members, and allies from across the U.S. and around the world will celebrate the 11th annual Blogging for LGBTQ Families Day. The event, developed and run by the GLAAD award-winning (for Outstanding Blog) LGBTQ-parenting site Mombian, and sponsored by the Family Equality Council, aims to celebrate LGBTQ families, their diverse natures, and raise awareness of how current prejudices and laws have a negative impact on their lives and children.  Mombian is asking LGBT families, straight allies and all other supporters to write and submit to Mombian.com, a blog post on any topic relating to LGBT families.

To my father from his gay latino son; love and support within #LGBTQfamilies

My father, now 88, was a strikingly handsome young man; growing up in Puerto Rico, off to Korea with the Army in his early 20’s, and married shortly thereafter.  As with many men, but especially latino men of that generation, when his firstborn arrived on the scene it was a source of great pride.  He had no idea that his unconditional love and support for his only son would be tested when it became apparent, through all the signs that appear along the way, that his namesake was attracted to other boys.

I was a grinning crewcut kid hiding his shyness and “different-ness” behind glasses and scared that my glances to buddies would give me away.  I joined ROTC in high school and marched in a drum & bugle corps … both of which I’m sure pleased my dad.  But one’s identity has a way of becoming as apparent as the bright white carnation I wore on graduation day.

Acting in HS plays, becoming a theater major, bringing only male friends home to meet my folks, and then moving in with my first partner at 21 all strained our relationship; not in a “brick wall” kind of way, but as in “Ring. Ring. Hello. Oh hi.  Let me put your mother on the phone.”  The inability to relate was palpable on both sides.

He steadfastly worked his entire career providing for his family … no breaks.  An intensely proud man.  There was always alot of love in our family.  Still is.  My dad and I loved and respected each other.  But we had settled into a “comfort zone”, and I could see that continuing on unchallenged.  It was then I knew that if I wanted a deeper, more spontaneous and loving relationship with my father, I would have to create situations around which we could grow “into” each other.  And my dad’s love of travel was the portal into that journey.

Always working, his love of travel came through the television.  Even in retirement, the medium that never provided him a roadmap on how to relate with his gay son (remember, this was from the 50’s into the 80’s), nonetheless whisked him away to places far and wide.  Shortly after his 82nd birthday, I surprised him with a self-made Alaskan adventure that would take us all over the state from one excursion to the next; even dogsledding on frozen rivers.  We laughed and shared, flew in small Piper Navajos over glaciers, and marveled at the desolation of the frozen tundra and that long pipeline.

But when friends ask what the most memorable moment of that trip was, I simply say it was that moment in the SUV, after having lunch by a secluded roadside with a vista that took your breath away, when in the silence he reached over and held my hand and said “I love you.”  “I love you too, Dad.”   ‘Nuff said.  It was as simple and profound as that.  All I wanted was to move past just being comfortable with each other; and through our unconditional love and support … we got so much more.

In 2014, I took him to Washington, DC for the very first time, as I made it possible for him to join President Obama as he signed a Bill honoring my father’s segregated Army unit, the 65th Infantry from Puerto Rico (Borinqueneers), with the Congressional Gold Medal.  I looked up and there was my dad on the right, standing proud with his hands clasped in front, with a very small group of his brothers-in-arms, watching as Obama’s signature turned them into War Heros.  A couple of months ago, the entire family took my mom and dad back to DC for the formal presentation by Congressional leaders.  Go figure … my dad, the War Hero.  Through the tears, my heart burst open with love and pride.

I never would have dreamed that our journey would have taken our relationship to this point.  We love each other fiercely and talk openly about LGBT issues in the news.  Nowadays, he won’t give up the phone to my mom without exhausting our own chat … and he always wants to talk with my husband, calling him the “main man!”

I know I am blessed and that not all of my queer brothers and sisters have this level of love and support.  But it can happen, and I know I’m not the only gay kid with love pouring down from his parents.  So Dad, thank you for loving me, unconditionally, as much as I love and honor you.  Te amo con todo mi corazon.

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”    RUMI