The Second Halloween My Boy Wanted to Be a Girl

The Second Halloween My Boy Wanted to Be a Girl
You’d think that by the time my son Harry turned 4 years old in 1994, I would have learned how to handle Halloween. A guilt ghoul swallowed me whole the first time my boy wanted to go trick-or-treating dressed as a girl. But, no, some lessons don’t come easy.

The day before our annual Halloween block party two decades ago in Milwaukee, I picked up Harry from junior kindergarten and drove across town to Bartz’s Party Store. He didn’t know yet what he wanted to be for Halloween and was excited about picking out a costume.

Inside the store, I stood back while Harry walked down the aisle of kids’ costumes. He examined the photo on each of the clear plastic packages and stopped in front of a row of different-colored Power Rangers.

Harry was obsessed with the Power Rangers. He’d watched every TV episode of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers since the series debuted a year earlier. He had a full set of action figures and play-acted scenes from the show with his friends. I knew that the Blue Power Ranger, Billy, was his favorite of the boys, and that the Pink Power Ranger, Kimberly, was his fave girl ranger.

“Can I have this one?” he asked, touching the Pink Power Ranger.

I panicked. I’d thought Harry’s days of wanting to dress as a girl for Halloween were over. He’d chosen a skeleton costume the year before. I was going to be a vampire and had hoped Harry would follow suit with another fright-night look.

“I’m not buying that costume, Harry,” I said, in my most even tone.

I braced myself as his little face morphed from hopeful to confused. I put myself in his pint-sized sneakers and wondered why it was OK to play dress-up in skirts and heels at home but not be the Pink Power Ranger for Halloween.

I was determined to protect him from being teased on a night that was supposed to be all about fun. And I worried, as I had two years earlier, that the uninformed in my neighborhood would peg me as a controlling, overbearing mom who was turning her kid gay.

“What about the Blue Power Ranger?” I asked, trying to hide my sense of betrayal. “Billy’s cool. And he wears glasses just like you.”

Harry looked at the Blue Power Ranger costume but didn’t answer.

“Or maybe you want to be scary again this year,” I said. “There’s a zombie costume. And what about that alien?”

Still no reply from my dejected Pink Power Ranger. I felt the presence of the Guilt Reaper and needed to get away from my own scariness.

“Think about it, Harry. I’ll be at the wig counter.”

A minute later he appeared at my side, sans costume, and helped me pick out a black wig reminiscent of Lily Munster.

When we returned to the kids’ costumes, it felt wrong not explaining why Harry couldn’t get the costume he wanted. But I didn’t know what to say. I did not look him in the eye when I repeated, “I’m not buying that costume, Harry.” We left the shop with the Blue Power Ranger outfit.

The next night, Harry and I were in our costumes waiting for the start of trick-or-treating when Harry’s dad Ken arrived home with a large mystery bag.

“I didn’t plan a costume,” he said, “so I stopped at the rental shop near the studio.”

“What did you get?” I asked.

“It’s a surprise, but I think Harry will get a kick out of it,” he said, running upstairs.

Harry giggled when his dad reappeared as a giant caterpillar. But Ken was not your average garden-variety caterpillar. His hooded costume was hot-pink and sunshine-yellow satin. I felt my face flush ladybug-red with shame. Harry’s dad was dressed in both colors of the only female Power Rangers — and the exact pink of the costume I wouldn’t buy for Harry.

“What’s the matter?” Ken asked. “Don’t you like it?”

“I like it fine,” I said. “You look hilarious with pink antennae. And you’ve taught me a huge lesson. I’ll explain later.”

I wanted to apologize to Harry for not buying him the Pink Power Ranger costume. And I wondered what he thought about his dad wearing pink when he couldn’t. I didn’t tell him what I was feeling in my heart that night. But I never again stopped him from wearing what he wanted to on Halloween. I think now how sorry I would have been to miss the vampire geisha he put together for trick-or-treating in fourth grade, or the lunch-lady costume he created as a fifth grader.

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This piece first appeared on Julie’s personal blog, My Son Wears Heels. You can also find her on Facebook.

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Man Assaulted With An Electric Cattle Prod In Grindr Hookup Gone Horribly Wrong

Man Assaulted With An Electric Cattle Prod In Grindr Hookup Gone Horribly Wrong

Electric_cattle_prodA London man says he was assaulted, threatened with a cattle prod, and robbed during a Grindr hookup gone wrong.

It all started when the 26-year-old victim invited a man over to his apartment in Queensborough Terrace.

The suspect arrived at the victim’s place around 5 p.m. on September 28. Police describe him as being in his mid-20’s, Caucasian, with short blond hair and a slim build. According to reports, he began texting someone on his cellphone, before announcing he wanted to leave.

The victim showed him to the door. But when he opened it, he found himself standing face to face with a second man. He was holding a cattle prod in his hand.

Suspect #2, who police say was a Caucasian man in his late-20’s with a bald head, violently shoved the victim back into the house, then threatened to electrocute him with the cattle prod if he didn’t hand over his cash and laptop.

“The victim thankfully did not suffer serious physical injuries but has been left very shaken by this incident,” Detective Constable April Smart told the media.

“I would like to take this opportunity to reassure the LGBT community that we are doing everything we can to arrest these men and have followed and eliminated a number of potential leads and enquiries to date,” Smart added. “I would urge everyone who uses the services of online dating apps and sites to take steps to help them to stay safe whilst meeting strangers.”

Police have released the following surveillance videos that show the suspects. The first video shows Suspect #1 outside the building. The second video shows Suspect #2 outside the apartment holding the weapon.

 

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Was This Guy Date Raped Or Not? He Isn’t Sure.

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Dangerous Liaisons: Five Gay Online Hookups That Ended In Crime

Graham Gremore

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