Hot Sheet: September 12, 2014
Our top 10 entertainment and events highlights this week include the Queer Art Expo, hot doctors, wild and crazy Roosevelts, and Jason Gould and his mom.
Advocate.com Editors
www.advocate.com/arts-entertainment/hot-sheet/2014/09/12/hot-sheet-september-12-2014
If You Don't Go After It, Someone Else Will
Everything eventually surfaces in one way or another. As gay men, sometimes we find ourselves subconsciously choosing to do everything in our power to avoid looking foolishly vulnerable and admittedly undesirable in the face of other gay men, but at the end of the day, doing that almost NEVER makes us feel any stronger or masculine by a long shot. By bottling everything up, you almost always look like you’re hiding something in the face of your friends who only want to pull you aside and give you the gulping truth. You can’t have your cake and eat it too girl.
The suckiest blow to the gut for any gay man is when his dream babe starts hooking up with the guy he’s mildly interested in seeing. When that happens, all hell breaks loose. You are so taken back that you without a doubt can’t understand how to process all those set of emotions rushing through you. Not keeping in mind that the business with those two boys hooking up has nothing to do with you, and that just because you’re lonely doesn’t mean that you should selfishly occupy the down time you have with someone you are not even that into for the sake of not being with yourself.
The only promise that can come about out of all of that lying is that you are not being honest with yourself, with that guy who might like you more than you like him, and to the guy who you really want to get to know, but who has no idea you exist because you haven’t put yourself out there to him yet. One some level we are grown enough to subconsciously acknowledge this to ourselves, but no one is ever really ready to accept it. Our egos have a hard time allowing us to do so.
As a pain in the ass as it is to accept, most likely, there is someone else out there desiring the same person you are, so if you aren’t brave enough to assert yourself to that guy, then someone else will happily do so. Chances are, when you take the risk, you WILL at least know what you have to work with, go on or move on from. You have to run the distance if you expect to finish.
All caught up in dreamland, I didn’t fully realize until lately that the guy I liked since my freshman year in college doesn’t like me, and not just in the boyfriend type of way, but that he probably doesn’t like me as a person. Yeah, I could be overreacting. In the past, I would love to give all the reasons why this guy wouldn’t possibly give me the time of day, but I never got anything from him, even after my few attempts to initiate something. It was like talking to a brick wall.
What I learned from that situation is that the longer you wait to make a move, the less interested everyone becomes. You begin to ask yourself. Where is the mystery? Whether or not that person will reciprocate the same feelings you have is not the heart of the conflict to be solved. They might have some inkling of an idea because some other person has probably mentioned you to them, and they were waiting for you to say something all that time, but by not saying anything, you ended up looking cowardly and worse than if you were to say anything at all.
Of course in our wild, emotionally, untamed hearts, the object of our affection belongs to us. The moment you hear otherwise, that some other dog is barking up that tree, then you want to hurt a bitch, when, they were never even yours.
In the end, we all want validation and love that is so inconvenient. Unless, one doesn’t care, and in that case that sort of person will show you their true colors; otherwise, don’t we all want to get to that reassuring place?
We all have the tendency to build up the guys we’re interested in dating. In our eyes, they are perfect, and we vaguely see the little to zero flaws they do possess. By remembering that Tom, Dick and Harry are human too, and that they have needs and insecurities they want to fulfill like everyone else, we lessen the pressure. No matter what, there is always someone better out there, always. And knowing that makes the dream not so unattainable.
Barbra Streisand's son on duet with his mom and why he took so long to pursue music
Jason Gould: ‘My mother’s such an idon. I thought, “I can’t open my mouth, people would compare” and I just didn’t think I’d ever want to go there’
gregh
Ben & Jerry’s Joins Amicus Brief to the Supreme Court Supporting Marriage Equality
Everyone’s favorite LGBT-friendly ice cream company, Ben & Jerry’s, has taken another step for LGBT equality, signing onto an amicus brief supporting marriage equality.
HRC.org
How Being Trans Could Mean Being Told To Take A Hike At The Polls This November
We won’t get into why strict voter-ID laws are horrible, oppressive and racist — you can do you own homework there.
But the fact remains that ten states currently have laws on the books that make it increasingly difficult to exercise your constitutional right to vote, and a new study indicates that among the disenfranchised in the upcoming midterm elections are 24,000 transgender people.
According to “The Potential Impact of Voter Identification Laws on Transgender Voters in the 2014 General Election,” authored by the Williams Institute’s Jody L. Herman, Ph.D., transgender people who have transitioned but do not have proper paperwork reflecting their gender will be turned away at the polls.
“Lawmakers should not overlook the consequences of enacting stricter voter ID laws on transgender voters,” said Herman. “Election officials must consider the potential impact of these laws in the upcoming November elections. Voter ID laws create a unique barrier for transgender people who would otherwise be eligible to vote.”
The states where people will face problems are: Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Indiana, Kansas, Mississippi, Tennessee, Texas, Virginia, and Wisconsin.
“Some voters may not have the means or the ability to present the required voter identification for a variety of reasons, such as poverty, disability, or religious objection. Transgender people have unique barriers to obtaining accurate IDs needed to vote. As these ten states begin planning for their fall elections, educating poll workers is crucial in order to ensure that transgender voters in their states have fair access to the ballot,” added Herman.
View the full report here.
Dan Tracer
Towleroad Guide to the Tube #1618
SERENA: Debut trailer for the upcoming drama film starring Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper
UNNECESSARY CENSORSHIP: Jimmy Kimmel’s weekly tribute to the FCC
GYNANDROMORPHS: Scishow explores dual-sex animals.
HAWAIIAN ROAD RAGE: This mom has reached her boiling point.
For more recent Guides to the Tube, click HERE.
Kyler Geoffroy
www.towleroad.com/2014/09/towleroad-guide-to-the-tube-1618.html
LGBT Youtubers React to 'How not to react when your child tells you he's gay"
Hey guys! So here is us and a bunch of our fellow YouTuber friends reacting to a family not accepting there gay son as he comes out to them! We wish we could show you everyones reaction video…
Arizona: Federal Judge Says Government Must Recognize Widower's Marriage
Fred McQuire sought federal benefits via his marriage to George Martinez, who recently died of cancer.
Michelle Garcia
House Republicans Shoot Down Measure To Extend Spousal Benefits To Gay Veterans
The House Veterans’ Affairs Committee shot down a measure Wednesday that aimed to extend equal benefits, including medical care, housing and burial assistance, to veterans’ same-sex spouses, even if they live in a state that does not recognize same-sex marriage.
Introduced by Rep. Dina Titus (D-Nev.), the amendment was attached to the Our Vets Deserve Better Act, a bill by Rep. Denny Heck (D-Wash.) that would set mandatory meetings between the secretary of Veterans Affairs and certain health care advisory committees.
“This inequality for those who wore the uniform of the United States armed forces and their families is unacceptable,” Titus said during her opening remarks Wednesday. “The current language has resulted in legally married couples being discriminated against by the country they fought to protect. They don’t wear the uniform of a state, they wear the uniform of the federal government.”
After the U.S. Supreme Court ruled the Defense of Marriage Act unconstitutional in 2013, most federal agencies, including the Department of Defense, began extending benefits to same-sex spouses. But under the Department of Veterans Affairs, retired service members with same-sex spouses are still ineligible for veterans benefits if they live in one of the 31 states that bans same-sex marriage.
In a 12-13 vote Wednesday, all committee Republicans, with the exception of Rep. Jon Runyan (N.J.), voted against the Titus amendment.
Committee Chairman Jeff Miller (R-Fla.) argued that the House lacked the constitutional right to bypass existing state laws barring same-sex marriage.
“Deference to the state is not motivated by hostility, it is motivated by adherence to the Constitution,” Miller said Wednesday. “As such, I believe that it is not appropriate to usurp the states’ power to democratically define marriage for their citizenry — not for personal belief, and not for bureaucratic convenience.”
Other House Republicans, including Reps. David Jolly (Fla.) and Mike Coffman (Colo.) who support the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, voted against the measure on grounds that it was unrelated to the larger bill, but expressed potential support for the measure as a separate bill.
“This is an old Washington game — offer a common-sense amendment to an underlying bill that is bad public policy,” Coffman spokesman Clay Sutton told The Huffington Post on Friday. “Mike will vote for the provision if it comes up as a stand-alone bill, but he wasn’t going to lend his support to a bill that would wrap desperately needed VA reform in bureaucracy … This was a junior high gotcha, and no one is buying it.”
The American Military Partner Association, which is suing the Department of Veterans Affairs over the denial of benefits, called Wednesday’s vote “a sad reflection on the state of our Congress.”
“The ability of our nation’s veterans, no matter their sexual orientation, to access their earned benefits should be an issue that transcends partisan politics,” Lori Hensic, AMPA director of research and policy, said in a statement.
Margaret Cho on Joan Rivers' funeral: 'If I was a gay man, I would have definitely kept my Grindr turned on'
Fellow comic reflects on her friend’s sendoff which she says ‘put the fun back in funeral’
gregh
