Megan Smith: Most Powerful Lesbian in the White House?

The Google executive was named chief technology officer of the United States

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Jerry Portwood

www.advocate.com/politics/2014/09/05/megan-smith-most-powerful-lesbian-white-house

What I'm Proud to Tell the World About My Daughter
When I was young, I was a real asshole. I had no consideration for other people and their feelings, I always needed to make my point, and most importantly I knew what was wrong and right and everyone else pretty much didn’t. I think you get the point, right?

Anyway — I think/hope I have changed quite a bit over the years for various reasons, and now my credo is kindness and respect; that’s really all that matters anymore. The same holds true for all my writing, so I usually stay away from anything controversial and keep a lot of my opinions to myself.

However, there is one thing that I have been itching to take a stand on — online and offline — and it’s something I am not willing or able to respect any asshole opinions on: my daughter is gay and I think that’s perfectly fine.

Let me back up a bit and start at the beginning.

Pauline is 17 and I never gave much thought to the fact that she didn’t show any interest in boys. Whatever, right? When she started hanging out with M. a while ago, I didn’t think too much about that either, until we all went on a little shopping trip about two months ago and my husband said to me: “I think those two are more than just BFFs. I was watching them in the rearview mirror and the way they look at each other… I know young love when I see it!”

OK then.

Of course I asked Pauline about it and she said: “Yes, we are dating. I am gay.” As simple as that. Honestly? I thought it was as simple as that.

We talked about it some more and she told me that she had known for a long time. And that she didn’t want to confide in any of her friends, because “a lot of them think being gay is wrong.” Whaaaaaa?

I was shocked. Really? In 2014? In Canada? Young people? Yes, apparently I am really naive.

Of course I respected her wishes not to talk about it on social media or with her friends, but my heart broke a bit for her. I realized that she will probably have struggles to overcome because she is gay, and fight battles that straight people don’t have to fight.

Coming out is still a big deal (I came across this article by Vikki from Up Popped a Fox at Villageq — read it!), and the world is full of intolerant and unkind people.

Over the last few months, Pauline has gotten more and more comfortable with confiding in her friends about being gay — and I breathed a sigh of relief that they all have been supportive so far. I know everyone has obstacles to overcome in life, and I can’t (and don’t even want to) clear the path for either of my children, but the fact that one of my kids has to worry about being accepted for who she is at the very core makes me furious.

A few days ago, Pauline told me about something that happened at the Gay Pride Parade in Vancouver — members of an anti-gay group snuck into the parade and distributed hate messages, wrapped in condom packages. Naturally, Pauline was outraged — and decided to take a stand.

Her caption: Me and my girlfriend #gaypride #mygirl

And I’m taking a stand as well.

I support my daughter and the LGBT community 100 percent. The only requirement I have for people (and that goes for gay and straight) is not to be an asshole, and to be kind and respectful.

If you are a hater of LGBT people, I don’t want to be your friend. If you are a hater of LGBT people, I don’t want to do business with you. That part is really simple.

Love you, Pauline!

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www.huffingtonpost.com/kerstin-auer/what-im-proud-to-tell-the-world-about-my-daughter_b_5668837.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices

Speaking at Southern Comfort 2014

Today it was my privilege to attend the Southern Comfort Conference in Atlanta, Georgia—one of the nation’s largest conferences for the transgender community.
HRC.org

www.hrc.org/blog/entry/speaking-at-southern-comfort-2014?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss-feed

PHOTOS: The “Red Hot” Ginger Boys Steam Up Their NY Book Release

Photographer Thomas Knight’s “Red Hot 100″ project became a global sensation the moment he began seeking funds for it on Indiegogo.

Earlier this summer, Knight launched the Indiegogo campaign with intentions to turn his “Red-Hot” series featuring beautiful red-headed men into a photo book. With it, he wanted to “end gingerism,” one beautiful ginger boy at a time.

He said: “This is a book that is not only pleasing on the eye, but also holds a mirror up to current perceptions of male beauty and asks the question, why are there so few ginger heroes or heartthrobs in western culture.”

This week, Knight’s dreams finally became a reality as he joined several models at the Bosi Contemporary art gallery in New York City for the release of the new Red Hot 100 book. The models were, of course, looking as red hot as ever:

Matthew Tharrett

feedproxy.google.com/~r/queerty2/~3/sbXjesOZXFQ/photos-the-red-hot-ginger-boys-steam-up-their-ny-book-release-20140905

Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen Talk About Why Gay People Loved Joan Rivers: VIDEO

Andy Towle

www.towleroad.com/2014/09/cohcoorivers.html

When Westboro Pushed the Panic! Button

Panic! at the Disco front man Brendon Urie on battling the Westboro Baptist Church and celebrating his sexual fluidity.

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Jase Peeples

www.advocate.com/arts-entertainment/music/2014/09/05/when-westboro-pushed-panic-button

This Queer Collective Is Revolutionizing Sex (VIDEO)
“It all started because I wanted a silicone ‘pack and play,'” said Chelsea Downs, co-founder of the New York Toy Collective, a group that hand-makes affordable silicone dildos in Brooklyn. We were speaking over the phone about the Collective’s line of “adult” toys, which are gaining widespread praise for being the most realistic on the market — the enigmatic “pack and play” particularly.

A “pack and play” is how Downs describes the Collective’s dildos that can be “packed” or worn discretely inside clothing, then erect during sex. It’s basically a “ready-to-wear” version of a sex toy. All this is made possible by a “bendable core” inside the dildo that is designed especially for packing, or wearing in a harness, underneath clothing, so when the mood is right, the wearer is good to go — erotic expedience.

“Before we started the company, I’d complain all the time, ‘You are telling me that we can put someone on the Moon, but I can’t have a dildo that I can wear inside my pants on the way to a date, one that’s sterilizeable, affordable, and reflects the color of my skin?” said Downs.

Downs explained that her sense of entrepreneurial ambition came from frustrations with the white straightness of the marketplace in general.

“See, I grew up biracial in a mostly white neighborhood in Manhattan,” Downs said. “When my mom would take me to buy shampoo, the black hair products were always in a small or nonexistent section of the store. The products for me weren’t around any of the other products labeled ‘normal.’ I wasn’t normal, and I didn’t belong. When it came to sex toys, I was tired of not seeing myself reflected in the world.”

I nod on the other end of the receiver. I’m inspired by Downs and her conviction. As a queer, transgender person, I’ve used these toys for the majority of my life. But I never thought it would be possible to improve on the uncomfortable aspects of affordable, accessible dildos. I just assumed there was nothing I could do. Queer sex and sex toys are still veiled in so much shame and secrecy that the majority of us — particularly those without access to a major metropolitan area — have no idea what we are purchasing, how it functions, and if we have the option to shop around.

Recently my partner and I stumbled on “Shilo” from the Collective at Good Vibes in San Francisco. The toy’s aesthetic drew us immediately — it comes in “chocolate, hazelnut, and cashew” but also more vibrant, less realistic colors like “fierce pink.” And the feel. Let’s talk about the feel. For real. This dildo feels like skin. No joke. Not jelly-like or squishy like so many of the products touting a “softer feel.” This one is tough in its softness. My partner investigated the toy and nodded, “This one is a game changer.”

And it is.

“Because the core inside is bendable, different people can use it for different reasons,” said Downs. “If they want to wear it and be ready to go, they can use the dildo without having to break the mood to put it on. It is also designed to move with the wearer and their partner; it’s more forgiving and less intimidating. People really seem to like that.”

Not only that, but each dildo is actually made by hand, starting from the first mould made from clay, then 3D scanned.

“The inception wasn’t much more complicated than that,” Downs said. “We just imagined something with a prominent head, a bit stilyzied, and a bit of realism in the veins, something that would pack well with flexibility.”

The process goes like this: Downs mixes the platinum-based silicone (which is manufactured in the U.S.), pours the silicone into the moulds, takes them out, packages them, puts them in a box, and sends them to customers.

“It’s like the way you’d make a cupcake,” she said, laughing. “But I’m making it sound easy. Selling that first toy was the biggest hurdle. I remember that first sale very vividly. I was so excited. I offered to make it to the customer’s exact skin tone. They gave us a check, and I gave it to them in a brown paper bag.”

Check out the Collective’s “pack and play” demonstration video below:

Since that first sale, the Collective has worked numerous trade shows across the U.S. and is now marketed in sex stores across the U.S., including Good Vibes in San Francisco, Babeland in New York, and recently Pleasure Chest in Los Angeles. (To see complete list, click here.) They were also the subject of international attention when they began offering to 3D scan a person’s own anatomy then turn it into a sex toy. But the group hasn’t achieved all this without difficulty; they were targeted this spring as part of the Chase Bank shutdown of businesses working in the adult industry.

“I’m sure Amazon has sold more dildos all month than I have this year,” said Downs. “[Chase Bank’s decision was] so arbitrary and policing. If I was selling shoes, if I was selling sunglasses, this wouldn’t have happened. These toys are legal to sell; they are made in a legal way. They just wanted to make it harder for us to run our businesses. I’m not interested in fighting them. I just want to keep making innovative toys. If they don’t want my business, I’ll keep moving.”

And the Collective is currently moving at a clip. They’re selling now two different sizes of “pack and play”: the “Shilo,” which is 6 inches in length, and the “Mason,” which is 7.5 inches in length, great for mobility and versatility. The Collective also sells two different “packers” and are the only company currently manufacturing an uncircumcised version, as well as a variety of vibration accessories, all available for purchase online.

“We made the decision at the beginning that as long as we keep making innovative, affordable sex toys, even if we break even, it will be a success,” said Downs. “It was totally worth the risk. Making these products has opened up my life. I’m freer, happier. As people, as queer people, bringing a product to market, executing it is so valuable. I would want to encourage anyone who has an idea to actually give themselves a shot and execute it. Just because it doesn’t exist doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Give yourself a chance to make or create whatever you want.”

www.huffingtonpost.com/emerson-whitney/this-queer-collective-is-revolutionizing-sex_b_5745224.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices

LGBT Leaders: “America’s Immigration System is Broken”

In an op-ed for The Advocate, Ana Ma, COO and chief of staff of HRC, and Matthew McClellan, the executive director of the National Council of La Raza Action Fund, urge President Obama to take action on immigration reform.
HRC.org

www.hrc.org/blog/entry/lgbt-leaders-americas-immigration-system-is-broken?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss-feed

Grindr Permanently Disables Distance Feature; Are We Supposed To Feel Safer?

Grindr marks the end of an era this week by permanently disabling the app’s “distance” option, which allows users to see exactly how far away other users may be.

The decision to increase privacy protection for all its users comes in direct response to recent allegations that a bug in the app’s system allows tech-savvy users to pinpoint the exact location of users nearby.

The security loophole had been exposed as early as June, when users around the world started noticing messages from anonymous “bot” users informing them of their compromised privacy. Though Grindr doesn’t specifically mention the allegations, the company acknowledges a problem in a statement released to America Blog:

“In light of recent security allegations surrounding a user’s specific location, Grindr has made modifications to no longer show distance information for users. Grindr will continue to make ongoing changes to keep all users secure, as necessary.”

For the average user, turning on the app’s “distance” option wasn’t a major privacy concern. Although it calculated the estimated distance between users, the distance wasn’t guaranteed to be exact and did not indicate which direction users were in relation to each other.

The option to disclose specific distance appealed to many users who used the app to find others in specific areas. As a user in New York City, I personally found that displaying specific distance often inadvertently exposed what neighborhood other guys were in.

But the distance option has become increasingly dangerous for users in countries where being gay may be illegal or a prompt for violence. AB notes that the “European user” who discovered the security flaw also found that the distance option didn’t even need to be turned on for him to find the exact location of other users by manipulating Grindr’s servers.

Editor John Aravosis explains:

The European Grindr user was able to spoof his location to Grindr’s servers, and by doing so three times in three different virtual locations, he was able to triangulate the near-exact location of every Grindr customer who was online at that moment.

In response to the disclosure of the location of 600,000 users, Grindr has turned off its “distance” function. Grindr initially released a statement claiming that the security breach was not a glitch, but rather a feature that Grindr stood behind: “We do not view this as a security flaw.”

But as the exact location of more gay men were exposed, including one at the Republican National Committee headquarters in Washington, DC, a second at the British House of Commons, and a third inside the Russian Kremlin, Grindr finally relented.

You can check out some incriminating maps over at AB, which the anonymous European privacy advocate submitted to show the exact location where some gay men are using Grindr in Russia, and even one lone gay inside the Republican National Committee headquarters in D.C.

Grindr hadn’t mentioned when the new changes will take effect, but at time of posting, my account still displays distance. An update for the app that was released yesterday morning doesn’t indicate any update or patch to the security loophole:

The major security breach is only the most recent complaint brought against the app by disgruntled users.

Previously, at least two lawsuits involving sexual misconduct with minors have dirtied Grindr’s hands — security aside, some users believe the app doesn’t do a good enough job at vetting its users and making sure all are of age to use it.

This year alone, we’ve reported two cases in which Grindr users were murdered (and one attempted murder) after meeting men on the app. Obviously Grindr is not directly responsible for the actions and intent of its users once they meet, but Grindr’s complaint history clearly shows that privacy and protection should be their primary concern moving forward.

Do you feel safe using Grindr?

Matthew Tharrett

feedproxy.google.com/~r/queerty2/~3/-p5kE9vGZ74/grindr-permanently-disables-distance-feature-are-we-supposed-to-feel-safer-20140905