{"id":96447,"date":"2019-09-14T10:25:26","date_gmt":"2019-09-14T14:25:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/gays-are-still-shaming-interracial-dating-wtf\/"},"modified":"2019-09-14T10:25:26","modified_gmt":"2019-09-14T14:25:26","slug":"gays-are-still-shaming-interracial-dating-wtf","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/gays-are-still-shaming-interracial-dating-wtf\/","title":{"rendered":"Gays are still shaming interracial dating. WTF?!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Gays are still shaming interracial dating. WTF?!<\/b><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

A couple<\/a> of weeks ago, NFL veteran Ryan Russell<\/a> came out as bisexual<\/a> in a powerful interview with EPSN<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Plus, he\u2019s Black and an incredibly bright athlete with an impeccable way with words. Talk about putting some much-needed points on the queer representation scoreboard.<\/p>\n

If that wasn\u2019t enough, it was quickly discovered that his Insta is filled with sexy and loving images of his handsome boyfriend<\/a>, to whom he composed love poems.<\/p>\n

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Could we have minted a better role model who could help break through teams sports closet? To this day there is not a single publicly out LGBTQ athlete in any of the four major teams sports: NFL, MLB, NBA or NHL. With so few high-profile, openly bi<\/a> sporting men<\/a> out there, this is a breakthrough moment for everyone to enjoy.<\/p>\n

Right?<\/p>\n

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Number one desert survival rule is to bring your best friend.<\/a><\/p>\n

A post shared by Ryan K. Russell<\/a> (@rkrelentless) on

Well, in true internet fashion, social media trolls, some gay<\/a>, some straight, were quick to rain on Russell\u2019s coming out parade when it was revealed that his partner is none other than professional dancer Corey O\u2019Brien, who happens to be white<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\u201cHaving the white partner ruined the entire moment,\u201d wrote one Twitter user. \u201cWanted to be excited that Ryan Russell came out as bisexual<\/a>. As a proud Black, East Asian, and Caribbean bi<\/a> dude, I was happy that another person of color had broken down that wall but alas, you guessed it, his partner is white. This shit is sick and an epidemic at this point,\u201d replied another.<\/p>\n

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Having the white partner ruined the entire moment.<\/p>\n

\u2014 Ty Spencer (@1blackpololover) August 29, 2019<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

In many queer corners of the \u2018net, gays<\/a> were quick to share photos and memes of gay<\/a>, black celebrities from Shaun T and Karamo Brown<\/a> to Laverne Cox<\/a>, Billy Porter<\/a> and even Michael Sam<\/a> with their white partners, shaming them for dating outside of their race. It was odd\u2013tons of famous straight athletes are dating interracially as well, so much so that it\u2019s practically the norm. And of course why not? This is reflective of the world of young athletes. They are living smack in the middle of the country\u2019s first generation of a minority-majority rule. Why not embrace a kind of racial fluidity when it comes to dating, just like we defy boundaries in the rest of our lives?<\/p>\n

So, in the immortal words of Hillary Clinton<\/a> I ask, \u201cWhat difference does it make?\u201d <\/strong><\/p>\n

OK, I\u2019m not that na\u00efve to believe interracial dating should go unnoticed. I get it. It\u2019s interesting and it\u2019s a thing. Before I clicked on the article about Russell\u2019s coming out, I low key thought to myself, I bet he\u2019d be dating a white dude<\/em>.<\/p>\n

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I mean, the proof is already in the pudding. In 2017, Pew<\/a> research found the amount of straight Black folks marrying interracially is increasing. Black men<\/a>, in fact, are twice as likely to date interracially, and Black men<\/a> are increasingly more likely to do so as they become more educated. And on top of all of that, white supremacy and this heteronormative, oppressive Trump-ass<\/a> world we live<\/a> in has done a number on all. Sexual racism on dating apps (\u201cNo blacks, no Asians\u201d) doesn\u2019t help either, fucking<\/a> with our mental health.<\/p>\n

Related:\u00a0Newly out NFL player Ryan Russell posts love poem to boyfriend and\u2026 wow<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

Which is a way of saying, of course, it\u2019s possible some of us may have swallowed and internalized enough anti-blackness to impact his dating choices. But unless you psycho-analyze these folks, you aren\u2019t going to know that, so it\u2019s best to mind your own beeswax.<\/p>\n

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Thinking about this backlash Russell is facing, I\u2019m reminded of two separate conversations I had with Karamo Brown and Dear White People <\/em>creator Justin Simien, whose hubby is white.<\/p>\n

I remember Brown telling me about the hurtful comments he receives because he\u2019s engaged to a white man<\/a> and him telling me that just because he\u2019s dating interracially it doesn\u2019t mean his fears as a Black man<\/a> such as discrimination and police harassment go away.<\/p>\n

And Simien straight up told me, \u201cYou can date a white guy and still be black as fuck<\/a>.\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

Here\u2019s why I don\u2019t give a shit who Russell dates: It\u2019s not my story. It\u2019s not my life. It\u2019s not my truth. It\u2019s not my experience. It\u2019s his.<\/p>\n

And on top of all of that, do you know how hard it is to even find a gay<\/a> man<\/a> who actually wants to meet for something more than a quickie behind a 7\/11? It seems most guys<\/a> today only want to meet up, get off, make plans, flake, meet up to get off, watch your Instagram Stories everyday, and pretend they don\u2019t see you in bars only to hit you up later that night to, yes, get off. Kudos to anyone finding love in this hopeless place we call<\/a> Earth. And the internet expects a guy<\/a> lucky enough to find a match to throw it all away because they aren\u2019t similarly complexed? Give me a break.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve written for years about my experience dating and have documented many of my unsavory experiences dating and having sex<\/a> with white men<\/a>\u2014the fetishization and objectification, desired for fantasy and dismissed just as quickly, and the blatant, out-and-0ut racism.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

I\u2019ve seen many queer people of color share similar stories while discussing Russell\u2019s story. But I\u2019m not going to project my painful experiences onto him. Again, it\u2019s not my story. And his experiences with his partner may not mirror. And I\u2019m able to do this because I\u2019ve done the work on myself and healed the wounds and trauma I\u2019ve experienced.<\/p>\n

My advice to people criticizing Russell or Porter or Cox or whatever Shaun T\u2019s last name is: heal yourself. Heal your heart so it can know love when it sees it and instead of shutting its door thinking love is a stranger.<\/p>\n

\n<\/a> <\/a>\n<\/div>\n

\nwww.queerty.com\/gays-still-shaming-interracial-dating-wtf-20190914?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+queerty2+%28Queerty%29<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Gays are still shaming interracial dating. WTF?! A couple<\/a> of weeks ago, NFL veteran Ryan Russell came out as bisexual<\/a> in a powerful interview with EPSN. Plus, he\u2019s Black and an incredibly bright athlete with an impeccable way with words. Talk about putting some much-needed points on the queer representation scoreboard. If that wasn\u2019t enough, … Continue reading Gays are still shaming interracial dating. WTF?!<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2466,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-96447","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-misc"],"yoast_head":"\nGays are still shaming interracial dating. 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