{"id":9373,"date":"2014-10-23T12:06:28","date_gmt":"2014-10-23T16:06:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/was-this-guy-date-raped-or-not-he-isnt-sure\/"},"modified":"2014-10-23T12:06:28","modified_gmt":"2014-10-23T16:06:28","slug":"was-this-guy-date-raped-or-not-he-isnt-sure","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/was-this-guy-date-raped-or-not-he-isnt-sure\/","title":{"rendered":"Was This Guy Date Raped Or Not? He Isn\u2019t Sure."},"content":{"rendered":"

Was This Guy Date Raped Or Not? He Isn\u2019t Sure.<\/b><\/p>\n

\"10302482_10203076164920554_6121980236735957845_n\"<\/a>“I’ve never been in a situation where I thought I could be raped,” H. Alan Scott<\/a> (pictured) writes in a blog post published on the Huffington Post<\/em><\/a>. “I’m a big guy<\/a>, strong, how could I be raped? Until the moment when my legs were in the air, totally vulnerable, looking into the eyes of a man<\/a> insistent on fucking<\/a> me, did I ponder, Am I in danger?”<\/p>\n

Scott details how he first met the guy<\/a> online a year earlier. They exchanged a few “sexy texts,” but it wasn’t until they were matched on Tinder that they finally agreed to meet in person.<\/p>\n

“I had intended on staying in, but got that Friday night itch to go out,” he writes. “We had been texting, so I mentioned dinner. Two hours later, we met at a restaurant near my apartment.”<\/p>\n

“During the dinner I told myself, Don’t invite him over.<\/em> I didn’t feel that sexual spark. He was attractive, but not exactly doing it for me,” he continues. “Still, I studied him, thinking about if I could actually have sex<\/a> with him. As we walked post-dinner, my brain was saying, ‘Don’t do it,’ while my mouth said, ‘Wanna come over?’”<\/p>\n

So they went back to his apartment. One thing led to another and pretty soon they were naked<\/a> in bed together. All the while, Scott kept wondering, “Why did I invite him over? I wasn’t lonely. I honestly just wanted dinner.”<\/p>\n

“Ten minutes into casual foreplay,” he writes. “I noticed his obvious intention to penetrate. I said, ‘Not tonight.’ I could tell he was disappointed, so I continued, ‘I don’t usually start with that. It takes me a while to bottom, to get comfortable.’ This is where I should have said, I guess we’re not a match, it was lovely knowing you.<\/em> Unfortunately, I didn’t.”<\/p>\n

The man<\/a>, Scott says, became “more dominant.”<\/p>\n

“[N]ot exactly physical,” he says, “but contorting me into positions that were difficult for me to get out of. I’d say again, ‘Not tonight, it’s not going to happen’ … But he’d push harder, no lubrication, as I’d attempt to wiggle my way out of his hold.”<\/p>\n

Scott began to wonder if he was in danger.<\/p>\n

“My legs were in the air, he had my arms gripped down, I was locked in,” he writes. “I felt trapped and a little scared … I knew I didn’t like it, I wanted it to stop, but I didn’t want to be mean. Then, as he pushed harder, I felt that rush of pain, and panicked.”<\/p>\n

Then all of a sudden, the guy<\/a> yelped out in pain.<\/p>\n

“My cat, Frasier, had bit his foot,” Scott writes.<\/p>\n

He had been saved by a feline.<\/p>\n

The man<\/a> let go, then cracked a joke about how Scott wasn’t hard anymore.<\/p>\n

“Sorry,” he replied, “rape is basically a boner-kill for me.”<\/p>\n

Sadly, this sort of thing is not uncommon<\/a> in the gay<\/a> community. Earlier this year, a 34-year-old Canadian man<\/a> in Philadelphia for an education conference was sexually assaulted at gunpoint by a man he met on Grindr<\/a>. And that’s just one of many incidents in which online hookups have gone too far.<\/p>\n

“Sexual violence against men<\/a> isn’t unheard of, just not talked about,” Scott writes. “In a National Crime Victimization Survey, of 40,000 households questioned about rape and sexual violence, 38 percent of the incidents were against men<\/a>.”<\/p>\n

“Gay or straight,” he continues, “sexual violence against men<\/a> does happen. As I came to learn, it’s the grey area of is this assault or just harmless aggressive behavior?<\/em> is where the confusion begins.”<\/p>\n

Related stories:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Six Tips For Online Cruising That Could Mean The Difference Between Life And Death<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

How Can We Keep Ourselves Safer When Hooking Up Online?<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

Dangerous Liaisons: Five Gay Online Hookups That Ended In Crime<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n<\/a> <\/a>\n<\/div>\n

Graham Gremore<\/p>\n

feedproxy.google.com\/~r\/queerty2\/~3\/TpBuyUN8NKw\/was-this-guy-date-raped-or-not-he-isnt-sure-20141023<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Was This Guy Date Raped Or Not? He Isn\u2019t Sure. “I’ve never been in a situation where I thought I could be raped,” H. Alan Scott (pictured) writes in a blog post published on the Huffington Post. “I’m a big guy<\/a>, strong, how could I be raped? Until the moment when my legs were in the air, … Continue reading Was This Guy Date Raped Or Not? He Isn\u2019t Sure.<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2466,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9373","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-misc"],"yoast_head":"\nWas This Guy Date Raped Or Not? 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