{"id":92043,"date":"2019-06-29T12:25:57","date_gmt":"2019-06-29T16:25:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/finding-pride-in-a-deep-red-state-3-lgbtq-individuals-share-their-experiences\/"},"modified":"2019-06-29T12:25:57","modified_gmt":"2019-06-29T16:25:57","slug":"finding-pride-in-a-deep-red-state-3-lgbtq-individuals-share-their-experiences","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/finding-pride-in-a-deep-red-state-3-lgbtq-individuals-share-their-experiences\/","title":{"rendered":"Finding Pride in a deep red state: 3 LGBTQ individuals share their experiences"},"content":{"rendered":"

Finding Pride in a deep red state: 3 LGBTQ individuals share their experiences<\/b><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

It was Election Night 2016, and unlike most Americans\u2013whose eyes were peeled to the TV\u2013Heather Gilfillan was in her bed, blissfully asleep.<\/p>\n

\u201cI actually had to wake up super early the next day for class, so wasn\u2019t able to stay up [that night],\u201d Gilfillan, who identifies as bisexual<\/a>, tells Queerty<\/em>. \u201cBut before I had gone to bed, it didn\u2019t seem like Trump was going to win. I went to bed feeling hopeful.\u201d<\/p>\n

But as soon as she woke up, Gilfillan\u2019s state of happiness quickly turned dark. She recalls going on her phone to check Twitter, only to see a celebratory Tweet from a local Trump supporter. It seemed her worst fears had been confirmed: Trump had won, and was now going to be President.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

\u201cIt was difficult for me to even get out of bed. I went to my class, and I actually couldn\u2019t even stay for the whole thing because I was so frustrated and upset,\u201d she says. \u201cSeeing people walk around with huge smiles on their faces made it so much worse.\u201d<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, nearly three years later, things have not fared much better for Gilfillan, who represents one of thousands, if not millions, of LGBTQ people living in conservative places around the country.<\/p>\n

Gilfillan resides in Stillwater, a rural farming town located in northern New Jersey. The town is home to 3,920 residents, most of whom are white, conservative Republicans. Nearly all of them are \u201cclose-minded\u201d and \u201cnot accepting of anyone that isn\u2019t white and straight,\u201d according to Gilfillan.<\/p>\n

In fact, it\u2019s common to hear the word \u201cf*g\u201d tossed around like \u201cit\u2019s nothing at all,\u201d and any kind of emotion shown by men<\/a> is \u201cconsidered gay<\/a>,\u201d she says. When gay<\/a> marriage became legal in the United States, Gilifallan would often hear people in Stillwater complain because \u201cthey absolutely hated hearing about anything to do with the LGBTQ community.\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

As a bisexual<\/a> woman<\/a>, Stillwater is an odd place for Gilfillan to be.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s so strange. I don\u2019t see it anywhere else,\u201d Gilfillan says. \u201cThe fact that you can come here and still see Trump signs is extremely embarrassing. Like, there\u2019s one that\u2019s drilled almost 15 feet up a tree trunk so that nobody can take it down. It feels almost cult-like. People still have Trump bumper stickers on their cars, wear Trump hats and shirts, and talk about him like he\u2019s some kind of God.\u201d<\/p>\n

That said, Gilfillan\u2019s experience is not representative of all LGBTQ individuals living in red states.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

Just ask Jacob Balash, who lives in the small town of Spencer, Indiana (population: 2,250) with his husband, Jonathan. Balash, who identifies as gay<\/a>, is the co-founder of Spencer Pride, an annual festival the town has held for the last 13 years.<\/p>\n

Even though he lives in a red state (Trump won the election in Indiana with more than 56% of the vote), Balash says his town and its festival is a living testament to the fact that not all red areas are full of conservative, closed-minded people.<\/p>\n

\u201cOne of the things that surprised us when we started Spencer Pride was how many progressive people were already living here and had spent their entire lives here,\u201d he says. \u201cUntil we came and [started Spencer Pride], there hadn\u2019t been an opportunity for other like-minded people to show their support.\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

That said, it hasn\u2019t been all positive. \u201cWe\u2019ve experienced some vandalism,\u201d Balash admits. \u201cOur pride flag has been stolen more times than I can count, our mailbox has been destroyed, and we\u2019ve had a few eggs thrown at our property.\u201d<\/p>\n

During one recent incident, two teenagers<\/a> vandalized Balash\u2019s property, damaged a flag pole, and stole their pride flag.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen interviewed by the Sheriff\u2019s department, [the teens] confessed that they had done this because we were \u2018big time queers,\u2019\u201d Balash says with a laugh. \u201cI\u2019m glad to know we\u2019ve finally hit the big time. That must mean we are making a difference if these kids were so insecure about the makeup of my family.\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

Following the incident, Balash says more than 200 community members hung up pride flags in their homes as a show of support. He also created and printed a batch of \u2018Big Time Queers\u2019 T-shirts, all of which sold out shortly after they were made.<\/p>\n

Because of the kind of support he has seen in his town, Balash has no plans to relocate to a larger, more accepting city, such as New York or Los Angeles.<\/p>\n

\u201cI feel passionately that progressive-minded people should stay put and help make change where they are,\u201d he says. \u201cIf everyone who is open-minded flees to the coasts, the middle of the country will never change.\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

Kedryn McElderry, a gay<\/a> male<\/a> who lives in Kalispell, Montana, and who just this month helped organize Kalispell\u2019s first ever Pride Festival alongside the town\u2019s non-profit, Love Lives Here, shares similar thoughts. Though he still acknowledges that bigotry is alive and well in rural areas.<\/p>\n

In one instance last April, a Kalispell-based parent sent a letter to the local newspaper after someone read \u201cPrince & Knight,\u201d a gay<\/a>-inclusive fairytale, to a group of preschoolers at the town\u2019s library.<\/p>\n

In the letter, the parent said she considered the topic of gay<\/a> marriage to be \u201ctotally inappropriate for an audience of preschoolers,\u201d and was disappointed the librarian did not notify her in advance that she would \u201cintroduce such a controversial subject to innocent children.\u201d<\/p>\n

Even with instances like these, McElderry believes progress is being made.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can tell you for certain that our climate here is changing, but in different ways than we expect,\u201d he said. \u201cSure, things get really bad for periods of time, we have incidents with churches and newspapers, but those bring gifts of their own. Allies come out of the woodwork and rally support, businesses open their doors, and connections are made [between organizations and allies alike].\u201d<\/p>\n

And as for Gilfillan? Well, don\u2019t expect her to stick around Stillwater, New Jersey much longer.<\/p>\n

\u201cI enjoy little to nothing about my town,\u201d she says, bluntly. \u201cThe people here are racist, sexist, and homophobic and it\u2019s honestly exhausting. Once I finish school and have enough money to move out and start my life, I\u2019m going to move very far away from here.\u201d<\/p>\n

But not before she attends WorldPride in New York City. After all, it\u2019s only a state away, and is a celebration Gilfillan is all but blissful to take part in as an LGBTQ individual.<\/p>\n

\u201cPride means a lot to me,\u201d she says. \u201cEach time I go [to Pride], I can\u2019t help but cry tears of joy for a minute or two. I think it\u2019s so important to celebrate how far the world has come in accepting the LGBTQ community. Being unapologetically you is something to celebrate, and I love the fact that we have an entire month to do that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/a> <\/a>\n<\/div>\n

\nwww.queerty.com\/finding-pride-deep-red-state-3-lgbtq-individuals-share-experiences-20190629?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+queerty2+%28Queerty%29<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Finding Pride in a deep red state: 3 LGBTQ individuals share their experiences It was Election Night 2016, and unlike most Americans\u2013whose eyes were peeled to the TV\u2013Heather Gilfillan was in her bed, blissfully asleep. \u201cI actually had to wake up super early the next day for class, so wasn\u2019t able to stay up [that … Continue reading Finding Pride in a deep red state: 3 LGBTQ individuals share their experiences<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2466,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[107],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-92043","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"yoast_head":"\nFinding Pride in a deep red state: 3 LGBTQ individuals share their experiences - GAYFRIENDSCHAT.com<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/finding-pride-in-a-deep-red-state-3-lgbtq-individuals-share-their-experiences\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Finding Pride in a deep red state: 3 LGBTQ individuals share their experiences - 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