{"id":77364,"date":"2019-01-19T12:26:07","date_gmt":"2019-01-19T17:26:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/tops-and-bottoms-drag-race-all-stars-delivers-a-legendary-lalaparuza-recap-and-rankings\/"},"modified":"2019-01-19T12:26:07","modified_gmt":"2019-01-19T17:26:07","slug":"tops-and-bottoms-drag-race-all-stars-delivers-a-legendary-lalaparuza-recap-and-rankings","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/tops-and-bottoms-drag-race-all-stars-delivers-a-legendary-lalaparuza-recap-and-rankings\/","title":{"rendered":"Tops and Bottoms: \u2018Drag Race All Stars\u2019 Delivers A Legendary LaLaPaRUza [RECAP and RANKINGS]"},"content":{"rendered":"

Tops and Bottoms: \u2018Drag Race All Stars\u2019 Delivers A Legendary LaLaPaRUza [RECAP and RANKINGS]<\/b><\/p>\n

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Wow. Just wow. I mean, yeah. Wow. I am officially gagged. Gooped. SHOOK. After just bemoaning<\/a> how predictable and rote the return of the eliminated queens has become, RuPaul\u2019s Drag Race All Stars<\/em> comes roaring back with one of my favorite mainstage challenges of. all. time.<\/p>\n

We picked up exactly where we left off last week: The returning gals, all dripping in recent widow eleganza, were in the workroom. Some smattering of drama presented itself right out the gate, when Monet and Manila both revealed they chose Valentina to go home. Valentina, in her signature, extraterrestrial oddness, rejects this notion, claiming that she did great last week. <\/p>\n

Of course, she wasn\u2019t going by the judges\u2019 critiques; she was going by her feelings. I hesitate to ascribe \u201cTrumpian\u201d to anyone unless they really deserve it, but the parallel here isn\u2019t not<\/em> apt.<\/p>\n

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It didn\u2019t take long for delusionitis to spread. Latrice quickly called foul on Monique\u2019s decision to send her packing. She claimed Monique\u2019s friendship with Monet took precedent. Monique stood confident in her decision: Latrice\u2019s report card wasn\u2019t up to snuff. Sorry, Latrice! That\u2019s the way the NYX Cosmetics powder foundation crumbles, henny!<\/p>\n

Latrice trying to force the notion that she was gravely robbed honestly isn\u2019t all that cute, but the stage was set for a showdown between Ms. Royale and the ooh-ah-ah sensation herself.<\/p>\n

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Ru arrived to lay down this week\u2019s challenge: Each eliminated queen, in the reverse order of their elimination, gets to pick a girl<\/a> still in the competition to lip sync against. Winner gets to stay; loser packs her wigs and goes. Manila and Monet are safe. And it\u2019s all set to Ru\u2019s greatest hits in a LaLaPaRUza lip sync battle royale. <\/p>\n

TO THE ARENA!<\/p>\n

Well, almost. There was a lot of time in the workroom this week. (Too much time, in this blogger\u2019s opinion.) Drama blossomed between Valentina and frenemy Farrah when Ms. Moan asked if Valentina truly believed she the worst the week she sent Farrah home. Without hesitation, Valentina gave an enthusiastic, yah, absolutely, duh.<\/p>\n

\u201cI have been told for a lot of my career that I don\u2019t have any talent,\u201d Farrah said in the confessional. Now, look, I\u2019m all about twirling on them haters, but also, maybe, I don\u2019t know, take the note? <\/p>\n

Elsewhere, Gia prodded Trinity about her nerves, and Trinity asserted repeatedly that no, definitely not, she is totally not nervous. Not at all. Not even a little bit. Why should she be? Nope. Not nervous at all, STOP ASKING!<\/p>\n

On the runway, category is LaLaPaRUza Eleganza, which is such an insane thing to type out, you have no idea. Honestly, the lewks were a bit lacking, but considering the pressure to turn out a lip sync performance, I understand prioritizing function over fashion. (More on the ensembles in the rankings below.)<\/p>\n

One by one, the eliminated queens picked their opponent, and the competitor they chose picked a random lipstick with the name of the RuPaul track. It\u2019s family only judging, with Ru, Ross, Michelle and Carson on the panel. Ru particularly is a VISION in a pink, sequined mini dress so short, it would even make Naomi Smalls blush. <\/p>\n

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First up, Jasmine Masters, who goes straight for Trinity the Tuck. Go big, or go home \u2026 again \u2026 I guess. The track was \u201cPeanut Butter,\u201d an ode to ass<\/a>-shaking (\u201cMust be jelly, \u2018cuz jam don\u2019t shake!\u201d) that plays directly to Trin\u2019s strengths. Jasmine was just okay (her actual lip sync was noticeably off), but the choice was clear. Trinity shantayed, and Jasmine sashayed away yet again.<\/p>\n

Next, Farrah followed the reality edit and chose to perform against Valentina to \u201cKitty Girl.\u201d It was \u2026 fine. Valentina put a quirky spin on the performance, but Farrah just seemed lost. She seemed like less of a drag performer and more of the best dancer at a wedding. Not the most thrilling face-off, but it gave a satisfying little end to their narrative. <\/p>\n

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Gia smartly picked the gurl that seemed on paper to be the least lip sync skilled: Naomi Smalls. Little did she know, Naomi is bonafide superstar. They battled to \u201cAdrenaline,\u201d and it was epic. Gia was great, tearing away her Battle Royale<\/em> schoolgirl ensemble and vogueing the house down. But, Naomi. Not only did she deliver on a scintillating runway slide-crawl, but she performed a backbend that would shutdown any game of limbo between creatures with any sort of bones. It defied gravity. I was screaming. Give her a million crowns. I\u2019m in love.<\/p>\n

Naomi stayed, duh, but Gia acquitted herself nicely and should leave with her head held high.<\/p>\n

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Finally, that meant Latrice was going to try to prove herself against the queen that sent her home, Monique Heart. They were set to square off to the classic Ru track, \u201cSissy That Walk,\u201d and it was a bloodbath. Latrice was the first to shake off her wig for a big, glam ponytail, only for Monique to do her own wig reveal, shedding big, beautiful, voluminous hair for a sassy traffic-cone orange wig. There were numerous sack-slamming splits, and it was just unrelenting. The two queens gave EV.ERY.THING., and both could\u2019ve claimed the win.<\/p>\n

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First, Ru told Latrice that she would be rejoining the competition. A chill washed over the mainstage before Ru told Monique \u2026 she is and always will be an All Star.<\/p>\n

Gooped.<\/p>\n

Oh, and also, shantay she stayed.<\/p>\n

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With this news, Monique (and I) both collapsed on the floor in one of the most genuinely surprising and satisfying end to a Drag Race<\/em> episode I could recall. <\/p>\n

What a ride!<\/p>\n

Now, gather round, chickens, because I\u2019ve got a little news. I know we\u2019re tuck-deep in this season of All Stars<\/em>, but season 11 is just around the corner. Forgo the reddit prognosticating, and instead check out the Ruveal of the queens coming for the crown Thursday, Jan. 24 at noon Eastern on a VH1 YouTube Live special, featuring Olympian Adam Rippon. <\/p>\n

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Now, onto our rankings.<\/p>\n

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  1. To be clear, Manila<\/strong> didn\u2019t have to bring it this week. As a safe queen, she could have walked down the runway wearing a sack. Instead, she slayed in a wonderfully Manila spaghetti and meatballs-themed dress and hat. Given her unique point of view, comedy chops and veteran skillset, she remains the frontrunner.<\/li>\n
  2. Not far behind, Trinity<\/strong> took a big swing, and it paid off. It was a risk to walk the runway wearing essentially a tarp for the sake of the reveal. However, she really sold that cape, making it clear she was \u2014 as usual \u2014 totally in on the joke. She probably had the easiest lip sync this week when you consider her talent level, but that shouldn\u2019t take away from how good she was. It\u2019s a performance that will be overshadowed by the all-time greats we got to see, but she is still a strong contender.<\/li>\n
  3. I was skeptical about Monique<\/strong> when she was announced for this season. She was a lovable queen, and one of the best talking heads we\u2019ve ever seen, but an All Star? I wasn\u2019t convinced. Now, I want to hang her in the Hall of Fame myself. To accomplish what she did against a legend like Latrice was, in a word, STUNNING. I loved her makeup, and, unlike Trinity, her outfit was gorgeous before, during and after her performance. <\/li>\n
  4. When will we learn, America? Never underestimate Naomi Smalls<\/strong>. Win, lose or draw: She\u2019s etched her name in the annals (I said ANNALS, get your head out of the gutter) of Drag Race<\/em> herstory. That outfit was crazy, that sliding crawl (what is that called properly? anyone?), THOSE BACKBENDS, it was all gag-worthy. More importantly, it felt uniquely \u201cher.\u201d I don\u2019t know if the competition will get the best of her (I\u2019m already worried about her pairing with Valentina next week), but even without the win, she made her mark.<\/li>\n
  5. Monet<\/strong>, I\u2019m hard on you, because I love you. We\u2019ve seen what you\u2019re capable of, and we want your best! That runway look was not even close. It was lazy and lumpy and a snooze. Maybe she was burning through a weak outfit, because she knew she was safe. That\u2019s no excuse. Manila still brought it, and so should have you. I\u2019m hoping we see more of Monet\u2019s best next week.<\/li>\n
  6. Welcome back, Latrice<\/strong>. The large and in charge queen was justly eliminated two weeks ago, justly eliminated in All Stars 1<\/em> (sorry, babe, it\u2019s canon!) and justly eliminated in her season. That doesn\u2019t mean she\u2019s not fierce as hell, but it does mean I\u2019m looking sideways at any sort of claim of a rigged system. Royale certainly earned her spot back in the competition with that high-octane performance, but, gurl, that outfit. I thought the saying was \u201cOnce you go cinched, you never go back,\u201d but apparently that\u2019s not the case. Big IS beautiful, but the silhouette was just all wrong. <\/li>\n
  7. The writing is on the wall, er, lipsticks for Valentina<\/strong>. If she finds herself in the bottom again, she\u2019s going home. I\u2019ll reiterate what I said last week<\/a>: I think we\u2019ve seen all she\u2019s got. I liked the Jessica Rabbit-esque catsuit she wore. I thought she was fine in the lipsync, but she could\u2019ve given a fraction of the effort and still beat her competition. <\/li>\n
  8. Boy, did Gia<\/strong> choose wrong. I guess really none of the remaining queens were pushovers, but I think Ms. Gunn had a rude awakening when Naomi started turning it out. Gia looked incredible, and her tearaway was a MOMENT \u2026 it was just immediately dwarfed by Naomi\u2019s stunts and the Monique\/Latrice smackdown.<\/li>\n
  9. There was almost zero chance Jasmine<\/strong> was going to return to the competition. She could\u2019ve twirled from the rafters like P!nk at every award show circa 2010, and it would not have mattered. However, she did a decent job, and, this may be an unpopular opinion, I liked that sparkly rose jumpsuit. Sue me!<\/li>\n
  10. Ugh, Farrah<\/strong>. If anyone left this week worse than they arrived, it\u2019s Farrah Moan. I was shocked that colorful, fringey outfit didn\u2019t contain some sort of reveal. Then, she failed to really stiffen her wig with some heavy duty hairspray\/freeze spray. It seems like Drag Queen 101, but the lack of hold on her hair had the wig in her mouth too much to track the actual lip sync. Seems like a rookie mistake. Gia said she was giving us Christina Aguilera, but all I was getting was Rebecca Black. There was no character or personality. There was no STORY. It was like watching someone impersonate a pop star. Not my jam.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    How would you rank the queens?<\/p>\n

    The post Tops and Bottoms: \u2018Drag Race All Stars\u2019 Delivers A Legendary LaLaPaRUza [RECAP and RANKINGS]<\/a> appeared first on Towleroad Gay News<\/a>.<\/p>\n

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    Tops and Bottoms: ‘Drag Race All Stars’ Delivers A Legendary LaLaPaRUza [RECAP and RANKINGS]<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n