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![\"Grindr](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.towleroad.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/grindr.jpg?resize=195%2C195\")
<\/p>\nHow Do You Feel About Using Gay Sex Apps?<\/b>
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The Grass Is Always Grindr, the first of a new three-part web series from 56 Dean Street<\/a>, a sexual health and HIV clinic in London\u2019s Soho district, focuses on the complexities of hooking up on gay<\/a> sex<\/a> apps, and how doing so affects mental and sexual health.<\/p>\n Check it out above.<\/p>\n Right off, the clip tackles the process of improving one\u2019s public persona in order to received the desired feedback, perhaps the most elemental aspect of online dating \u2013 marketing oneself on a supermarket of pecs and abs.<\/p>\n What\u2019s going to increase the possibility of a sexual payoff?<\/p>\n In the clip, Joe edits his response to Adam\u2019s query of \u201chow are you feeling?\u201d from the honest yet more ambiguous answer of \u201cI\u2019d like some company\u201d to \u201chorny<\/a> lol.\u201d<\/p>\n Said the series\u2019 writer Patrick Cash to GSN<\/a>:<\/p>\n \u201cI think we\u2019ve all been there, haven\u2019t we? Writing something that you think is too honest or sad, and then re-editing to what you think is more sexually attractive.\u00a0And in the case of Joe, all the stuff that he\u2019s really feeling \u2013 he\u2019s feeling lonely, he\u2019d like some company \u2013 he can\u2019t bring himself to express because he assumes the other guy<\/a> won\u2019t be interested in such a loser.\u00a0So instead he edits it all to sex<\/a> talk. It\u2019s funny, I hope, but also there\u2019s a bit of pathos as I think it mirrors some of our interactions in real life.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe is successful and Adam comes over for sex<\/a>.<\/p>\n It doesn\u2019t always happen though, and that\u2019s much of what drives the use of gay<\/a> sex<\/a> apps \u2013 the possibility<\/em> of payoff.<\/p>\n They leverage a psychological concept called \u2018variable ratio enforcement\u2019 according to\u00a0Jack Turban,\u00a0a physician and medical writer at Harvard Medical School, who conducted an informal poll of Grindr users to find out \u201cwhy they\u2019re on the app so much and how it\u2019s affecting their relationships and mental health.\u201d<\/p>\n Writes Turban on Vox<\/a>:<\/p>\n Variable ratio reinforcement is one of the\u00a0most effective ways to reinforce behavior<\/a>, and it makes stopping that behavior extremely difficult.\u00a0Slot machines<\/a>\u00a0are a classic example. Because gamblers never know when the next payout will come, they can\u2019t stop pulling the handle. They hold out hope that the next pull will give them the pleasurable sound of coins clanking against a metal bin, and they end up pulling for hours.<\/p>\n Now imagine a slot machine that rewards you with an orgasm at unpredictable intervals. This is potentially a powerful recipe for addiction and may explain why one user I spoke with stays on Grindr for up to 10 hours at a time, hoping to find the perfect partner for casual sex<\/a>.<\/p>\n Turban\u2019s study was non-scientific. He received around 50 responses after querying users on the app, and while not everyone on the app found it to be a negative experience \u2013 he spoke to a man<\/a> who met his future husband on Grindr, and others who told him it hasn\u2019t affected them negatively, but he said the majority of his research was somewhat troubling:<\/p>\n The users I interviewed told me that when they closed their phones and reflected on the shallow conversations and sexually explicit pictures they sent, they felt more depressed, more anxious, and even more isolated. Some experience overwhelming guilt following a sexual encounter in which no words are spoken. After the orgasm, the partner may walk out the door with little more than a \u201cthanks.\u201d<\/p>\n And yet they keep coming back for that temporary emotional relief. One user told me that he feels so bad after a hookup that he jumps right back on the app, continuing the cycle until he is so tired he falls asleep. Every once in a while, he deletes the app, but he finds himself downloading it the next time he feels rejected or alone.<\/p>\n Turban also cites a recent study by Time Well Spent<\/a>,\u00a0a nonprofit focused on the digital attention crisis, which revealed that 77 percent of Grindr users felt regret after using the app.<\/p>\n Time Well Spent<\/p>\n<\/div>\n Turban thinks it\u2019s time that we start thinking more about gay<\/a> sex<\/a> apps\u2019 affect on our mental health, and for companies to be more proactive in thinking about how they affect mental health. Grindr recently began reminding users to get regular HIV tests. How do you think they could be more proactive about mental health and do you think they have a responsibility?<\/p>\n Also\u2026<\/p>\n How do you feel about using gay<\/a> sex<\/a> apps? Do you feel regret after using them? What do you love about them?<\/p>\n Do you find them to be a negative or positive experience?<\/p>\n Do you think they keep you from forming lasting relationships? How do you feel like they affect gay<\/a> social life in general?<\/p>\n Can you relate to the guys<\/a> in the \u2018Grass is Always Grindr\u2019 video<\/a>? Do you know how to date in person, or is your dating life always centered around casual hook-ups?<\/p>\n Please share your thoughts in the comments.<\/p>\n The post How Do You Feel About Using Gay Sex Apps?<\/a> appeared first on Towleroad<\/a>.<\/p>\n![\"Body](\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/www.towleroad.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Body-conscious-.jpg?resize=225%2C95\")
Self esteem, body image, disclosure, STDs, honesty, intimacy, and loneliness are all tackled in the first clip, in which a young man<\/a> named Joe searches for sex<\/a> online, eventually hooking up with a closeted boxer named Adam.<\/p>\n![\"Grindr](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.towleroad.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/grindr.jpg?resize=740%2C326\")
<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/www.towleroad.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/timewellspent.jpg?resize=740%2C477\")
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