{"id":65825,"date":"2018-03-14T12:15:32","date_gmt":"2018-03-14T16:15:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/our-conversation-with-emma-gray-author-of-a-girls-guide-to-joining-the-resistance\/"},"modified":"2018-03-14T12:15:32","modified_gmt":"2018-03-14T16:15:32","slug":"our-conversation-with-emma-gray-author-of-a-girls-guide-to-joining-the-resistance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/our-conversation-with-emma-gray-author-of-a-girls-guide-to-joining-the-resistance\/","title":{"rendered":"Our conversation with Emma Gray, author of \u201cA Girl\u2019s Guide to Joining the Resistance\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><b>Our conversation with Emma Gray, author of \u201cA Girl\u2019s Guide to Joining the Resistance\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n<h4>We sat down with Gray to <a title=\"\" class=\"aalmanual\" target=\"_blank\"   href=\"https:\/\/chaturbate.com\/in\/?tour=grq0&#38;campaign=hl4zp&#38;track=gfcsb\">chat<\/a> how dating is different now in the age of Trump and\u00a0#metoo<\/h4>\n<figure><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"\" src=\"https:\/\/cdn-images-1.medium.com\/max\/1024\/1*0DGOQK0298mpfZowpiGMUA.png\"><figcaption>Emma Gray\u2018s \u2019\u201cA Girl\u2019s Guide to Joining the Resistance: A Feminist Handbook on Fighting for Good\u201d is a handy guide that illuminates why the time is now to get involved in helping to ensure women\u2019s rights are protected for current and future generations of\u00a0women.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>It goes without saying that the 2016 election stirred the pot\u200a\u2014\u200apolitically, socially, and mentally. The night Trump was elected, in fact, prompted Huffington Post senior reporter Emma Gray to embark on writing <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Girls-Guide-Joining-Resistance-Feminist-ebook\/dp\/B0716GZWCV\/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&#038;qid=1520879681&#038;sr=8-1&#038;keywords=a+girls+guide+to+joining+the+resistance\">A Girl\u2019s Guide to Joining the Resistance: A Feminist Handbook on Fighting for Good<\/a>. Released last month, this handbook includes tips on how to get (and stay) politically active, background information on key issues, and interviews with activists and politicians such as Senator Elizabeth Warren, actress and activist Ashley Judd, actress and activist Marlo Thomas, and Women\u2019s March Co-Chair Carmen\u00a0Perez.<\/p>\n<p>At OkCupid, we\u2019re always improving our product to be focused on the <a title=\"\" class=\"aalmanual\" target=\"_blank\"   href=\"https:\/\/www.flirt4free.com\/live\/girls\/?mp_code=akftr\">female<\/a> experience, and we do that by talking to lots of interesting, smart, creative <a title=\"\" class=\"aalmanual\" target=\"_blank\"   href=\"https:\/\/www.flirt4free.com\/live\/girls\/?mp_code=akftr\">women<\/a>. So we were super excited to <a title=\"\" class=\"aalmanual\" target=\"_blank\"   href=\"https:\/\/chaturbate.com\/in\/?tour=grq0&#38;campaign=hl4zp&#38;track=gfcsb\">chat<\/a> with Gray about her book, and how joining the resistance, or at the very least listening to a voice other than your own, can make for a better atmosphere\u200a\u2014\u200anot just in politics, but in dating, too. We caught up with Gray after she\u2019d just done a <a title=\"\" class=\"aalmanual\" target=\"_blank\"   href=\"https:\/\/chaturbate.com\/in\/?tour=grq0&#38;campaign=hl4zp&#38;track=gfcsb\">live<\/a> version of her podcast Here to Make Friends (a Bachelor recap show) at\u00a0SXSW.<\/p>\n<p><strong>OkCupid: You mention in your book that the 2016 election inspired you to write it. How did it prompt you to write the book, and were there any other factors in your decision?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I cover the intersection of gender and politics for HuffPost, so I covered the 2016 presidential election and election night\u200a\u2014\u200aand I thought I\u2019d be writing a story about our nation\u2019s first <a title=\"\" class=\"aalmanual\" target=\"_blank\"   href=\"https:\/\/www.flirt4free.com\/live\/girls\/?mp_code=akftr\">woman<\/a> President.<\/p>\n<p>Instead I wrote a very different story. I ended up being outside the Javits center [in New York City] and interviewed a lot of very angry and grief-stricken people; and then I went on to cover the 2016 Women\u2019s March and saw what happens when you take that anger and grief and turn it into\u00a0action.<\/p>\n<p>That inspired me to write that book, and I wanted to approach covering this renewed resistance from a journalistic perspective\u200a\u2014\u200awhich meant going out and chatting with <a title=\"\" class=\"aalmanual\" target=\"_blank\"   href=\"https:\/\/www.flirt4free.com\/live\/girls\/?mp_code=akftr\">women<\/a>\u2019s leaders about what it means to be involved in the resistance, and what it meant particularly for young\u00a0<a title=\"\" class=\"aalmanual\" target=\"_blank\"   href=\"https:\/\/www.flirt4free.com\/live\/girls\/?mp_code=akftr\">women<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><strong>OkCupid: Did your plans for the book shift as you researched and interviewed?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>There was a new chapter on the importance of storytelling, and that wasn\u2019t something I had in the original outline: as I started interviewing <a title=\"\" class=\"aalmanual\" target=\"_blank\"   href=\"https:\/\/www.flirt4free.com\/live\/girls\/?mp_code=akftr\">women<\/a>, the more storytelling came up, and the more relevant it felt. And this was all before #metoo\u200a\u2014\u200anow we\u2019re really seeing how important storytelling is in creating social\u00a0change.<\/p>\n<p><strong>In that specific chapter on storytelling, you discussed how writing an article for HuffPost about <a title=\"\" class=\"aalmanual\" target=\"_blank\"   href=\"https:\/\/www.flirt4free.com\/live\/girls\/?mp_code=akftr\">women<\/a> and anxiety opened the doors for dialogue. How can sharing our own stories of struggle help us find deeper connections?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Storytelling is a form of intimacy. If you\u2019re trying to build true intimacy, it needs to involve personal storytelling; it\u2019s how you get ot know someone, whether it\u2019s romantic or platonic or professional. Any relationship that\u2019s going to be authentic needs storytelling.<\/p>\n<p>When it comes to hetereosexual dating, there\u2019s an element of understanding that you need to build. For me personally, as a <a title=\"\" class=\"aalmanual\" target=\"_blank\"   href=\"https:\/\/www.flirt4free.com\/live\/girls\/?mp_code=akftr\">woman<\/a> dating straight <a title=\"\" class=\"aalmanual\" target=\"_blank\"   href=\"https:\/\/chaturbate.com\/in\/?tour=R2Xc&#38;campaign=hl4zp&#38;track=gfcsb\">men<\/a> in this moment, there are a lot of conversations that are prompted given the fact that we\u2019re in this #metoo moment. I think storytelling is the best way to bridge the gap between those experiences, whether it\u2019s between a white person and a person of color or someone who\u2019s dating someone with a different gender identity. You need to stop and hear their stories and understand that your stories are not going to be the same as\u00a0theirs.<\/p>\n<p><strong>OkCupid: The #metoo movement has certainly changed the social landscape, particularly in dating and relationships. What advice do you have for daters when it comes to dating in the age of\u00a0#metoo?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>It sounds simple, but view the people you\u2019re trying to date as human beings. Rather than saying \u201cI need to pick up this <a title=\"\" class=\"aalmanual\" target=\"_blank\"   href=\"https:\/\/www.flirt4free.com\/live\/girls\/?mp_code=akftr\">women<\/a> at a bar,\u201d just think, \u201cI want to approach this person and see if we get along, and see if we\u2019re into each\u00a0other.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Most <a title=\"\" class=\"aalmanual\" target=\"_blank\"   href=\"https:\/\/chaturbate.com\/in\/?tour=R2Xc&#38;campaign=hl4zp&#38;track=gfcsb\">men<\/a> are socialized to believe that they need to be the aggressors or in control of relationships, and I think that harms <a title=\"\" class=\"aalmanual\" target=\"_blank\"   href=\"https:\/\/www.flirt4free.com\/live\/girls\/?mp_code=akftr\">women<\/a> and harms <a title=\"\" class=\"aalmanual\" target=\"_blank\"   href=\"https:\/\/chaturbate.com\/in\/?tour=R2Xc&#38;campaign=hl4zp&#38;track=gfcsb\">men<\/a>, because it puts pressure on them both. But if we widen our views of what it means to be a <a title=\"\" class=\"aalmanual\" target=\"_blank\"   href=\"https:\/\/www.flirt4free.com\/live\/girls\/?mp_code=akftr\">woman<\/a> or <a title=\"\" class=\"aalmanual\" target=\"_blank\"   href=\"https:\/\/chaturbate.com\/in\/?tour=R2Xc&#38;campaign=hl4zp&#38;track=gfcsb\">man<\/a> or any gender identity, it helps everyone.<\/p>\n<p><strong>OkCupid: Another touching story from the book was about how <a title=\"\" class=\"aalmanual\" target=\"_blank\"   href=\"https:\/\/offers.cam4tracking.com\/aff_c?offer_id=125&#38;aff_id=2778&#38;source=gfcsb\">trans<\/a> activist Sarah McBride fell in love with <a title=\"\" class=\"aalmanual\" target=\"_blank\"   href=\"https:\/\/offers.cam4tracking.com\/aff_c?offer_id=125&#38;aff_id=2778&#38;source=gfcsb\">trans<\/a> activist Andy Cray, and how they connected over their shared passion for LGBTQI rights. How can sharing our political beliefs and passions bring us\u00a0closer?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>It depends who you are and what place these causes hold in your personal life, but I do think being involved in a community of some sort\u200a\u2014\u200awhether that\u2019s your relationship or your friends\u200a\u2014\u200athat\u2019s invested in creating change can be fantastic.<\/p>\n<p>Also, engagement in political and social issues can be fun! If you\u2019re a <a title=\"\" class=\"aalmanual\" target=\"_blank\"   href=\"https:\/\/www.flirt4free.com\/live\/girls\/couples\/?mp_code=akftr\">couple<\/a>, you can designate your partner as a buddy to remind you to <a title=\"\" class=\"aalmanual\" target=\"_blank\"   href=\"https:\/\/chaturbate.com\/in\/?tour=grq0&#38;campaign=hl4zp&#38;track=gfcsb\">call<\/a> congress one to two times a week. You can gather a group of friends to canvas for a local candidate who you support. And I personally have found some of the best romantic connections in my life have of course been built on attraction and all of the things we picture when we think of love and romance and <a title=\"\" class=\"aalmanual\" target=\"_blank\"   href=\"https:\/\/www.flirt4free.com\/live\/girls\/couples\/?mp_code=akftr\">sex<\/a>, yet they\u2019ve involved an intellectual component that includes debates and talking about current issues and what\u2019s in the news. To me, it\u2019s important to have a partner who cares about the world around them, and a partner who wants to engage in conversations as an\u00a0equal.<\/p>\n<p><strong>OkCupid: A lot of activists, scholars and politicians in your book defined what intersectionality means to them. How can we practice intersectionality in our relationships?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Intersectionality is primarily a lens for groups that are advocating on behalf of a group. I think the way that that would apply to dating is just in the very basic sense of working against our tendencies to universalize our own experiences and identities.<\/p>\n<p>When you\u2019re walking into a romantic or sexual experience with someone, they might have different experiences and interpret interactions differently. So stressing openness and conversation is key. Keeping openness and listening in mind rather than projecting your needs and world views onto that other person can be really beneficial.<\/p>\n<p><strong>OkCupid: What do you hope people will walk away with after\u00a0reading?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I would hope that anyone who reads the book will walk away with a renewed energy, regardless of politics, and understand that their experiences matter, and that a healthy political system is one that all citizens engage with\u200a\u2014\u200aand that sitting on the sidelines is not an option. The personal has always been political, and the political will always be personal.<\/p>\n<p>OkCupid lets you meet people based on what you care about. <a href=\"http:\/\/www.okcupid.com\/?utm_source=blog&#038;utm_campaign=dtf\">Sign up\u00a0today.<\/a><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/medium.com\/_\/stat?event=post.clientViewed&#038;referrerSource=full_rss&#038;postId=7b79a0bf9e6f\" width=\"1\" height=\"1\"><\/p>\n<hr>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/theblog.okcupid.com\/our-conversation-with-emma-gray-author-of-a-girls-guide-to-joining-the-resistance-7b79a0bf9e6f\">Our conversation with Emma Gray, author of \u201cA Girl\u2019s Guide to Joining the Resistance\u201d<\/a> was originally published in <a href=\"https:\/\/theblog.okcupid.com\/\">The OkCupid Blog<\/a> on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.<\/p>\n<p>\n<a href=\"https:\/\/medium.com\/m\/global-identity?redirectUrl=https:\/\/theblog.okcupid.com\/our-conversation-with-emma-gray-author-of-a-girls-guide-to-joining-the-resistance-7b79a0bf9e6f?source=rss----2cd59e7d4ed1---4\" class=\"autohyperlink\">medium.com\/m\/global-identity?redirectUrl=https:\/\/theblog.okcupid.com\/our-conversation-with-emma-gray-author-of-a-girls-guide-to-joining-the-resistance-7b79a0bf9e6f?source=rss&#8212;-2cd59e7d4ed1&#8212;4<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Our conversation with Emma Gray, author of \u201cA Girl\u2019s Guide to Joining the Resistance\u201d We sat down with Gray to <a title=\"\" class=\"aalmanual\" target=\"_blank\"   href=\"https:\/\/chaturbate.com\/in\/?tour=grq0&#38;campaign=hl4zp&#38;track=gfcsb\">chat<\/a> how dating is different now in the age of Trump and\u00a0#metoo Emma Gray\u2018s \u2019\u201cA Girl\u2019s Guide to Joining the Resistance: A Feminist Handbook on Fighting for Good\u201d is a handy guide that illuminates why &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/our-conversation-with-emma-gray-author-of-a-girls-guide-to-joining-the-resistance\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Our conversation with Emma Gray, author of \u201cA Girl\u2019s Guide to Joining the Resistance\u201d<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2466,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-65825","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-misc"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - 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