{"id":62473,"date":"2018-01-26T12:15:26","date_gmt":"2018-01-26T17:15:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/men-still-behaving-badly\/"},"modified":"2018-01-26T12:15:26","modified_gmt":"2018-01-26T17:15:26","slug":"men-still-behaving-badly","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/men-still-behaving-badly\/","title":{"rendered":"Men (Still) Behaving Badly"},"content":{"rendered":"

Men (Still) Behaving Badly<\/b>
\n\"\"<\/p>\n

They just don\u2019t get it, do they?<\/p>\n

\u2018One longstanding attendee said it was \u201ca boys<\/a>\u2019 night out\u201d and compared it to \u201ca rugby club dinner\u201d.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018These are not underage girls<\/a>. They are all over 18 … They all know it\u2019s a bit racy.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018The girls<\/a> were told to wear short skirts and sexy underwear and sign a non-disclosure agreement. Where on earth did they think they would be working, a vicar\u2019s tea party?\u2019<\/p>\n

And more, much more, in the same vein following the Financial Times<\/a><\/em> story on Wednesday about a men<\/a>-only charity dinner at the Dorchester Hotel in London.<\/p>\n

So let us try to imagine what goes on inside the head of a man<\/a> who thinks there is absolutely nothing wrong with telling a young woman<\/a> whom he has never met before and who is a paid worker at a dinner he is attending that he wants her to \u2018rip off her knickers and dance on a table.\u2019<\/p>\n

This same man<\/a> presumably thinks it is perfectly acceptable that, in the words of the FT\u2019s report: \u2018Many of the hostesses were subjected to groping, lewd comments and repeated requests to join diners in bedrooms …\u2019<\/p>\n

I am trying to imagine the life this man<\/a> has led. Perhaps he went to a boys<\/a>-only school, where as an adolescent, he got into the habit of making smutty jokes about girls<\/a> and boasting about his (fictional) sexual exploits.<\/p>\n

He played in boys<\/a>-only sports matches, followed by booze-fuelled, boys<\/a>-only after-match parties. If he went on to university, perhaps he joined a men<\/a>-only drinking club, at which adolescent behaviour was not only accepted, but expected.<\/p>\n

Perhaps now that he is middle-aged, he has a teenage<\/a> daughter of his own. What would he say if she were to be subjected to the sort of behaviour he indulged in at the Presidents Club dinner? Oh, but she wouldn\u2019t be, would she, because she would never do the sort of job for which the young women<\/a> at the Dorchester were being paid the princely sum of \u00a3150, would she?<\/p>\n

Look back at one of those comments I quoted earlier. \u2018The girls<\/a> were told to wear short skirts and sexy underwear …\u2019 In other words, they knew perfectly well what they were being paid for: to be groped, fondled, and propositioned.<\/p>\n

Er, no, actually, they weren\u2019t. Just as actresses in Victorian England weren\u2019t prostitutes, nor are hostesses in 2018. Women who dress to be attractive to men<\/a>, whether on instruction or otherwise, are as entitled as everyone else to be treated with respect.<\/p>\n

Two simple words are the key to the non-mystery of why some men<\/a> insist on behaving boorishly: money and power. (\u2018Presidents Club\u2019: interesting name, don\u2019t you think? Exactly what did these men<\/a> think they were Presidents of, I wonder?)<\/p>\n

The men<\/a> at that now notorious dinner would have us believe that they were there for no other reason than to give some of their wealth to charity. What could possibly be more deserving of our praise and admiration?<\/p>\n

I am (just about) prepared to accept that for some of them, it went no further than that, although I confess I fail to understand why it requires a men<\/a>-only, black-tie dinner at the Dorchester to donate to good causes. Most of us manage it a good deal less ostentatiously.<\/p>\n

But for others, the dinner surely provided a wonderful excuse to feel entitled: \u2018Look at me, I\u2019m giving away some of my money \u2015 so surely I deserve some fun in return?\u2019<\/p>\n

They were there (all right, some <\/em>of them were there) because they knew that they would be out of sight of their mothers, wives, girlfriends<\/a>, sisters and daughters \u2015 free to indulge in the sort of adolescent behaviour which had become second nature to them. The charity bit was no more than a figleaf with which to hide their guilty consciences.<\/p>\n

They were, in their own eyes, at least, men<\/a> who had made a success of their lives. They had amassed enough money to buy them the right to behave however they liked, especially towards younger, less wealthy women<\/a>. It is only one remove from the medieval droit de seigneur<\/em>, which supposedly entitled feudal lords to have sex<\/a> with the brides of their vassals.<\/p>\n

So how about someone trying to teach adolescent boys<\/a> how to behave appropriately towards their female<\/a> fellow-humans? How about those much-mocked PSHE (personal, sex<\/a> and health education) lessons involving something more than slipping a condom onto a banana?<\/p>\n

Some schools are trying \u2015 one day a year, perhaps, devoted to relationships \u2015 but they plainly need to do more. Too many men<\/a>, of all ages, still don\u2019t get it. Ill-educated adolescent males<\/a> are still growing up into ill-educated adult males<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Yes, they can behave as badly as they like in the privacy of their own homes, as long as they harm no one else. If they want to sit in front of the TV getting pissed with their mates, shouting rude remarks at every attractive young woman<\/a> who appears on screen, by all means, let them go ahead.<\/p>\n

But here is the message they need to hear, loud and clear: No, you can\u2019t do it in the workplace, or at a charity dinner. You can\u2019t assault, grope, harass or intimidate anyone. It doesn\u2019t matter how they are dressed, or how much you\u2019re giving to charity. It doesn\u2019t matter if you\u2019re a hot-shot film producer or merely a Loadsamoney property developer.<\/p>\n

I can even boil the message down to two words: Grow. Up.<\/p>\n

\nwww.huffingtonpost.co.uk\/entry\/presidents-club_uk_5a6aef77e4b006be66080ed1<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Men (Still) Behaving Badly They just don\u2019t get it, do they? \u2018One longstanding attendee said it was \u201ca boys<\/a>\u2019 night out\u201d and compared it to \u201ca rugby club dinner\u201d.\u2019 \u2018These are not underage girls<\/a>. They are all over 18 … They all know it\u2019s a bit racy.\u2019 \u2018The girls<\/a> were told to wear short skirts … Continue reading Men (Still) Behaving Badly<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2466,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[107],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-62473","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"yoast_head":"\nMen (Still) Behaving Badly - GAYFRIENDSCHAT.com<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/men-still-behaving-badly\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Men (Still) Behaving Badly - GAYFRIENDSCHAT.com\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Men (Still) Behaving Badly They just don\u2019t get it, do they? \u2018One longstanding attendee said it was \u201ca boys\u2019 night out\u201d and compared it to \u201ca rugby club dinner\u201d.\u2019 \u2018These are not underage girls. 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