{"id":58257,"date":"2017-11-25T10:15:58","date_gmt":"2017-11-25T15:15:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/this-year-reclaim-the-night-is-more-significant-than-ever\/"},"modified":"2017-11-25T10:15:58","modified_gmt":"2017-11-25T15:15:58","slug":"this-year-reclaim-the-night-is-more-significant-than-ever","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/this-year-reclaim-the-night-is-more-significant-than-ever\/","title":{"rendered":"This Year, Reclaim The Night Is More Significant Than Ever"},"content":{"rendered":"

This Year, Reclaim The Night Is More Significant Than Ever<\/b>
\n\"\"<\/p>\n

Please don\u2019t ask me, \u201cwhat about male<\/a> victims\u201d, Okay? Let\u2019s get it out the way now, yes men<\/a> are victims of rape and domestic abuse and absolutely need to be treated with dignity and respect and have access to specialist services and an effective criminal justice system.<\/p>\n

But we are looking at repeated incidences of domestic abuse, we are taking into account coercive control and not just physical violence \u2013 itself a mechanism of control \u2013 and we understand the women<\/a> whose violence towards men<\/a> is in retaliation sometimes after years of abuse.\u00a0 This is gender-based violence.<\/p>\n

And the thing is, that every time you ask that, \u201cwhat about male<\/a> victims?\u201d it has the same effect as \u201care you sure it was rape?\u201d or \u201cwhat\u2019s your sexual history?\u201d or \u201cbut where do we draw the line?\u201d It serves to question and undermine the huge courage it takes for any woman<\/a> to speak up about her experiences of male<\/a> violence and name it as part of a bigger problem: Me too.<\/p>\n

Because what you do is individualise each woman<\/a>\u2019s experience and label the perpetrators as monsters and aberrations; outliers of our society\u2019s expectations of men<\/a>. And when you do that not only do you separate women<\/a> from any sense of solidarity with other women<\/a>, pointing the finger at her because she was unable to judge the situation correctly or make herself safe or she gave the wrong signals. Not only do you do that to women<\/a>, but you also give up on men<\/a> and boys<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t get me wrong, I\u2019m not saying perpetrators shouldn\u2019t face retribution and let\u2019s face it; our criminal justice system is woefully inadequate for the brave minority of women<\/a> who turn to it. But if we keep trying to brush sexual harassment and violence under the carpet by labelling individual men<\/a> as the problem, we pretend that our expectations of men<\/a> and boys<\/a> are very different to the reality.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

All over the country over the next few days, people are reclaiming the night; 40 years after women<\/a> were told to stay home to stay safe<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

If you grow up with anger as the only acceptable emotion to show, that when you cry you\u2019re told to be brave and run along, or worse, that you\u2019re being a \u201cgirl<\/a>\u201d or you\u2019re \u201cgay<\/a>\u201d. That you should play with lego and soldiers not dolls, and that playing games where you care about a doll are stupid compared to a game where you kill baddies.\u00a0 And in the same world women<\/a> and girls<\/a> exist for your pleasure in pornography, they are your juniors in the workplace, they will do the majority of unpaid child care and care for relatives, where famous football players and film stars can rape or be violent with impunity, and in the locker room other men<\/a> joke about who they\u2019d like to\u2026This is what we need to talk about, not which ones are the bad men<\/a>.\u00a0 \u00a0<\/p>\n

What has been so moving and encouraging about #MeToo, #YoTambien and #BalanceTonPorc, and the continuation of women<\/a> coming forward to name their experiences and the perpetrators, is that when the world tried to blame individual men<\/a> and make it go away, we kept saying wait, there\u2019s more. And there\u2019s more. And there\u2019s more. It hasn\u2019t been easy to listen to, and to every woman<\/a> that said \u201cme too\u201d, to every woman<\/a> that came forward to name her perpetrator \u2013 thank you. And to the great many others who couldn\u2019t, who didn\u2019t want to, and who couldn\u2019t tell if it even was a\u2026<\/p>\n

We are with you.\u00a0<\/p>\n

I hope this is a sea change in how institutions and workplaces handle sexism and sexual harassment and violence. I hope men<\/a> in senior positions to women<\/a> and girls<\/a> think twice before taking advantage of their positions of power. And I hope we don\u2019t stop this conversation.<\/p>\n

All over the country over the next few days, people are reclaiming the night; 40 years after women<\/a> were told to stay home to stay safe. The London march is women<\/a>-only. I cannot describe to you the feeling of marching alongside a thousand women<\/a> at night, taking over the streets of central London. The noise, the defiance, the joy and the noise! Yes, there are divisions between us as women<\/a>; areas of disagreement and power imbalances between us that we need to keep talking and listening about. Tonight we reach for solidarity with each other across those divisions, without denying them. And we say to every woman<\/a> \u2013 we are with you. Shout it with me, \u201cWomen, united, will never be defeated\u201d.<\/p>\n

Reclaim the Night takes place Saturday 25 November, marking the International Day for the Eliminiation of Violence Against Women.<\/em><\/p>\n

For more information on Reclaim the Night, including a list of timings,\u00a0sister marches and speakers, click here<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

\nwww.huffingtonpost.co.uk\/entry\/reclaim-the-night_uk_5a1981bbe4b0d4906caf0a6f<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This Year, Reclaim The Night Is More Significant Than Ever Please don\u2019t ask me, \u201cwhat about male<\/a> victims\u201d, Okay? Let\u2019s get it out the way now, yes men<\/a> are victims of rape and domestic abuse and absolutely need to be treated with dignity and respect and have access to specialist services and an effective criminal … Continue reading This Year, Reclaim The Night Is More Significant Than Ever<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2466,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[107],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-58257","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"yoast_head":"\nThis Year, Reclaim The Night Is More Significant Than Ever - GAYFRIENDSCHAT.com<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/this-year-reclaim-the-night-is-more-significant-than-ever\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"This Year, Reclaim The Night Is More Significant Than Ever - GAYFRIENDSCHAT.com\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"This Year, Reclaim The Night Is More Significant Than Ever Please don\u2019t ask me, \u201cwhat about male victims\u201d, Okay? 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