\u00a0<\/p>\n
Said Russom to Pitchfork<\/a>:<\/p>\n The difficulties I\u2019ve had in dealing with [my transition in the past] definitely led me into some self-destructive behaviors, particularly around addiction and substance abuse. In the past, it consistently clouded or interrupted my ability to get into the kind of relationship with myself I needed to. I had to really work on that stuff and get it out of the picture.<\/p>\n The major experience has been one of things falling into place, things that maybe seemed incongruous about my life. Suddenly, as I started to accept the reality, it started to make more sense\u2014like, \u201cOh, OK, that\u2019s what that was. Oh, that\u2019s how this period of my life connects to this other period.\u201d Maybe the most important kernel is realizing that being a transgender person is really a real thing. It\u2019s not any of the things that I think people who don\u2019t have this experience tend to frame it as.<\/p>\n It has been a process of paying really deep attention to what\u2019s going on with me. I had a very significant moment very early on when I called my bank and the teller said, \u201cOh sir, thank you so much for calling us.\u201d It\u2019s so hurtful, and of course they don\u2019t know\u2014they\u2019re just looking at a document that has a gender identifier. But it was so powerful to just be enough in my own body to say, \u201cWhoa, that didn\u2019t feel good.\u201d<\/p>\n There was legitimately something unmanageable for me about living as a cis man<\/a>. I was working so hard just to present this image of myself that ran very deeply counter to who I really am. There\u2019s nothing theoretical or intellectual about that. It\u2019s the physical thing in my body. It felt like there was almost another person constantly walking next to me being like, \u201cHey, hey, hey, pay attention to me, hey, hey, hey.\u201d To some degree I wish I had been able to work through it sooner, but I\u2019m also very glad that I worked it the way I did. Having gone through 42 and a half years of being in denial and trying to work through this stuff has given me a lot of experience.<\/p>\n Read Russom\u2019s full statement to Pitchfork HERE<\/a>.<\/p>\n Writes Nico Lang at INTO<\/a>:<\/p>\n But as LCD Soundsystem was set to go on tour to promote its comeback record, Russom said that she \u201ccould not imagine\u201d spending the next year continuing to pretend to be someone that she\u2019s not. \u201cMy body rejected it in the same way that it now utterly rejects going into a men<\/a>\u2019s bathroom or when somebody calls<\/a> me \u2018sir,\u2019\u201d she told me.<\/p>\n Russom said that her bandmates have been \u201creally supportive\u201d about her transition: \u201cThe general feeling in the group is that will make the band better.\u201d Calling Murphy the \u201ccreative director\u201d of LCD Soundsystem, she claimed that his approach to music is bringing together a group of performers with unique musical skillsets and allowing them to be inspired by each other. Since coming out, Russom has felt more connected on stage\u2014both to her colleagues and to the music. She\u2019s able to own the space in a new way. Performing \u201cCall the Police\u201d on the May 6 episode of\u00a0Saturday Night Live<\/em>, Russom\u2019s joyful exuberance shined through. Dressed in a gray t-shirt, it\u2019s hard not to smile as she rocks out behind the synthesizer.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m the happiest I\u2019ve ever been,\u201d Russom said, \u201cbut I have my good days and my bad days. On my bad days, it really sucks and I wait until I get home to go to the bathroom\u2014which is such a basic thing.\u201d<\/p>\n