{"id":49520,"date":"2017-01-23T10:25:44","date_gmt":"2017-01-23T15:25:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/the-trump-effect-how-american-politics-are-ruining-gay-etiquette-and-making-us-meaner\/"},"modified":"2017-01-23T10:25:44","modified_gmt":"2017-01-23T15:25:44","slug":"the-trump-effect-how-american-politics-are-ruining-gay-etiquette-and-making-us-meaner","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/the-trump-effect-how-american-politics-are-ruining-gay-etiquette-and-making-us-meaner\/","title":{"rendered":"The Trump effect: How American politics are ruining gay etiquette and making us meaner"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Trump effect: How American politics are ruining gay<\/a> etiquette and making us meaner<\/b><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/b>It\u2019s official. Like him or not, Trump is now the President of the United States of America, which means he\u2019s a role model\u2013and not just for people who voted for him or who live<\/a> in the U.S. When he mocks a disabled reporter or trash talks women<\/a> from his global stage, he\u2019s telling the world that it\u2019s OK to be a bully and say whatever is on your mind regardless of how it may affect others. <\/span><\/p>\n

So what does this have to with the LGBTQ community, which generally leans toward the liberal side of things? Whether we realize it or not, the words and misdeeds of people like Trump leave their mark. You don\u2019t have to be what the world perceives as a typical supporter to follow their example.<\/span><\/p>\n

Related:\u00a0In Trump we don\u2019t trust: What it means to be trans in the era of DJT<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

When Teflon Trump waves the \u201cpolitically incorrect\u201d flag, also known as \u201cassholery,\u201d over and over, and we keep letting him get away with it, we\u2019re sending a message that bad behavior won\u2019t necessarily go unrewarded. <\/span><\/p>\n

That message can resonate with people who voted for Hillary Clinton<\/a>, and it seems to have slowly seeped into the gay<\/a> community over the last several months.<\/span><\/p>\n

Grindr has never been a bastion of subtlety or delicacy, but guys<\/a> there are increasingly treating each other like mere flesh for fantasy. To too many, we\u2019re now all merely anatomy, not even worthy of being spoken to in complete sentences. \u201cHung?\u201d \u201cInto?\u201d \u201cTop?\u201d \u201cBBC?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Of course, size and role have always mattered on hook-up apps, but as a friend pointed out on Facebook, guys<\/a> on Grindr have recently become \u201cmore severely terse.\u201d In part, it\u2019s the ongoing effect of the social media age. People are now free to say what\u2019s really on their minds, show their true colors, because the internet allows them to do so anonymously. It\u2019s also the era of instant gratification. Everybody wants their candy\u2014and with as little effort as possible.<\/span><\/p>\n

Related:\u00a0These courageous HIV advocates will lead the way against Trump in 2017<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

It\u2019s no coincidence that, as Trump rose from political joke to the 45th U.S. President, spreading his message of non-acceptance throughout the world, Grindr behavior has simultaneously become considerably cruder. Few guys<\/a>, it seems, bother wasting their time on complete sentences anymore. Some don\u2019t use words at all, only sharing a series of XXX pics in hopes of catching their prey.<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t think gays<\/a> have gotten ruder and cruder because they\u2019re bad people. And they\u2019re no more horny<\/a> than they were back when Trump was best known as the \u201cYou\u2019re fired\u201d guy<\/a> on The Apprentice<\/i>. But as assumes\u00a0his new position behind the desk in the Oval Office, everything has changed. His spectacular success in spite of a continuous stream of social scandals has conditioned many of us to think it\u2019s OK to ignore rules of etiquette, if questionable means lead to desirable ends. Let\u2019s cut to the chase, throw decorum out the window. All that matters is winning the prize\u2014a roll in the hay, the presidency.<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

The cause and effect isn\u2019t as simple as Trump tweeting something outrageously indecorous and a gay<\/a> guy<\/a> somewhere in Middle America thinking, Oh, now I can start sending unsolicited nudie pics to hot boys<\/a> on Grindr.<\/i> It\u2019s more circuitous and far-reaching than that. When irresponsible social behavior at the top goes unchecked, it fosters a global environment where sensitivity and tact are no longer social priorities. Consciously or subconsciously, we\u2019re all affected.<\/span><\/p>\n

Related:\u00a0Twitter feed documents downtrodden Trump supporters\u2019 regrets over voting for their guy<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

And it\u2019s not just on the online hook-up scene. I\u2019ve been writing about LGBTQ and race issues for a decade now, and recently the comment sections of politically minded articles written by me and by others have been filled with such blatant bigotry that I\u2019ve had to look away. So many people seem to be tossing out their filter and letting their true colors shine too brightly.<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s like we now have permission to give in to our basest basic instincts. I\u2019d bet money that somewhere, at this very moment, some Grindr user who calls<\/a> himself \u201cXXL\u201d is boasting, \u201cI don\u2019t even wait. And when you\u2019re XXL, they let you do it. You can do anything\u2026 grab them by the balls.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Trump didn\u2019t create this particular monster. He\u2019s not that smart. But he\u2019s tapped into something that\u2019s been bubbling under the surface, waiting to spill over. I\u2019m sure he wouldn\u2019t approve of those increasingly more brazen x-rated shots on Grindr (he is, after all, up with straight<\/i> white men<\/a> only and, as he said so himself, has \u201cnever had a gay<\/a> thought in his life\u201d), but they\u2019re part of the package in this new age of uncensored and unaccountable. <\/span><\/p>\n

Do what you want.\u00a0<\/span>Say what you feel.\u00a0<\/span>And you might still get to be President one day.<\/span><\/p>\n

Related:\u00a0Gay men, please stop using the term \u201cBBC,\u201d It\u2019s racist, blogger says<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

Jeremy Helligar is the author of\u00a0<\/i>Is It True What They Say About Black Men?: Tales of Love, Lust and Language Barriers on the Other Side of the World<\/span><\/a>. You can tweet him\u00a0<\/i>@Theme4Gr8Cities<\/i><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

\n<\/a> <\/a>\n<\/div>\n

\nwww.queerty.com\/trump-effect-american-politics-ruining-gay-etiquette-making-us-meaner-20170123?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+queerty2+%28Queerty%29<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Trump effect: How American politics are ruining gay<\/a> etiquette and making us meaner It\u2019s official. Like him or not, Trump is now the President of the United States of America, which means he\u2019s a role model\u2013and not just for people who voted for him or who live<\/a> in the U.S. When he mocks a … Continue reading The Trump effect: How American politics are ruining gay etiquette and making us meaner<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2466,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[107],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-49520","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Trump effect: How American politics are ruining gay etiquette and making us meaner - GAYFRIENDSCHAT.com<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/the-trump-effect-how-american-politics-are-ruining-gay-etiquette-and-making-us-meaner\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Trump effect: How American politics are ruining gay etiquette and making us meaner - GAYFRIENDSCHAT.com\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The Trump effect: How American politics are ruining gay etiquette and making us meaner It\u2019s official. 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