{"id":24507,"date":"2015-08-24T08:20:09","date_gmt":"2015-08-24T12:20:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/im-50-single-and-a-little-terrified-to-mingle\/"},"modified":"2015-08-24T08:20:09","modified_gmt":"2015-08-24T12:20:09","slug":"im-50-single-and-a-little-terrified-to-mingle","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/im-50-single-and-a-little-terrified-to-mingle\/","title":{"rendered":"I'm 50, Single And A Little Terrified To Mingle"},"content":{"rendered":"

I'm 50, Single And A Little Terrified To Mingle<\/b>
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I’m totally comfortable talking about sex<\/a> and dating. Why do you ask? <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

I recently turned 50 and am considering putting myself out into the dating world for the first time in nearly six years. Why a six-year reprieve? I’d love to give you a beautifully written metaphor about my having to find my inner voice (which isn’t far from the truth), but in all honesty, I’ve been really busy unloading a ton of old, emotional baggage, namely 55 pounds, a former life working in corporate America, and an outdated relationship. I’ve transformed but it hasn’t always been pretty. <\/p>\n

Despite the life of debauchery I lived for many, many years (various amounts of sporadic sex<\/a>, nights of stupid drug taking, an absence of all social boundaries and basic emotional paranoia), I’m shocked that my looks, sense of irony and overall emotional well-being have somehow grown exponentially. I have no idea how the hell that happened. Well, that’s a lie. I’ve worked my ass<\/a> off. I’d kiss the ground I walk on but I’m a hypochondriac and I live<\/a> in New York City. <\/p>\n

I have a massive amount of lush, thick silvery hair that most bald men<\/a> would murder me for and I have great skin. True, I use so much organic moisturizer that if I were pushed against a wall I’d slide right down it, but if it works, it works. <\/p>\n

What I’m missing is sexual swagger. And when it comes to dating, one thing a man<\/a> needs is swagger, especially if he’s predominately gay<\/a>. I write predominately gay<\/a> because after my 12-year relationship ended with John (totally fake name for my ex) I had a brief (albeit surprising) affair with a woman<\/a>. It involved secret trips to New Jersey and too much red wine. What happens in Secaucus…<\/p>\n

According to the Urban Dictionary, swagger is associated with the following words: cool, swagga, style, fresh, awesome, fly, sexy, confidence, game, boss, dope, swagtastic.<\/em> All words I never really feel unless I’ve had a glass of Pinot and I’m wearing really<\/em> tight jeans and I’m strutting down the streets of New York City with Journey blaring so loudly through my enormous headphones my eardrums nearly bleed. See? Not good. <\/p>\n

I’m trying to get my swagger on, I really am. I work out constantly, I fit into 30-inch jeans and I never eat past 7 p.m. I also use Suzanne Somer’s FaceMaster. The FaceMaster is a machine that zaps your face with an alarming amount of electrical current in an effort to keep it fresh and taut. Suzanne is my home girl<\/a> when it comes to being pretty. Wait. I just read that sentence. That’s not very swagger-like, is it? Crap. Probably doesn’t help either that when I talk to dates on the phone using the FaceMaster I sound like Donald Duck having an epileptic fit. <\/p>\n

The bottom line is I’ve never been comfortable with the open sense of sexual confidence I see so many gay<\/a> men<\/a> exude. It makes me painfully aware of my feelings of inadequacy, which is maddening since I’m so confident and successful in every other part of my life.


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You’re so hot. Totally. I just … once I finish this organic peanut butter I’ll be right with you. <\/strong>
<\/em>
I know some people feel swagger implies arrogance, but I like to think of it as radical self-love. Swagger can sometimes influence narcissism, but most often narcissists don’t have swagger so much as a bull’s-eye on their forehead where everyone wants to hit them with a cherry pie. <\/p>\n

Swagger is intoxicating, thrilling and a heady mix of awareness and availability. There seems to be something in there also about vulnerability and strength and what it means to be a man<\/a> that scares the crap out a lot of men<\/a> (myself included). I know I wrestle with my feelings of masculinity and maleness as a gay<\/a> guy<\/a> and when I talk to straight guys<\/a> they feel the exact same way. <\/p>\n

So maybe in the end we’re all feeling the same thing. Still doesn’t negate the fact society as a whole rewards men<\/a> (straight and gay<\/a>) who are stoic and emotionally stable (if a little stale) and that’s the reason tons of older dudes suffer silently from depression, but that’s a discussion for a future post. <\/p>\n

You know what? Screw it. I’m happy being single. If I meet someone, super. If not, super. I really do mean that. I’m just super<\/em>. <\/p>\n

But I should probably change out of my fly South Park pajamas before I engage in some dope Skyping with this fresh looking dude on OkCupid who just hit me up. Oh, and I better throw my Hello Kitty blanket over my FaceMaster. I don’t want to give him the wrong impression. <\/p>\n

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Namaste, Neurosis<\/em><\/center><\/p>\n

Earlier on Huff\/Post50:<\/p>\n

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— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms.<\/a> It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.<\/p>\n


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I'm 50, Single And A Little Terrified To Mingle I’m totally comfortable talking about sex<\/a> and dating. Why do you ask? I recently turned 50 and am considering putting myself out into the dating world for the first time in nearly six years. Why a six-year reprieve? I’d love to give you a beautifully written … Continue reading I'm 50, Single And A Little Terrified To Mingle<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2466,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[107],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-24507","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"yoast_head":"\nI'm 50, Single And A Little Terrified To Mingle - GAYFRIENDSCHAT.com<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/im-50-single-and-a-little-terrified-to-mingle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"I'm 50, Single And A Little Terrified To Mingle - GAYFRIENDSCHAT.com\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I'm 50, Single And A Little Terrified To Mingle I’m totally comfortable talking about sex and dating. 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