{"id":23663,"date":"2015-08-03T20:20:26","date_gmt":"2015-08-04T00:20:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/13-reasons-a-divorce-is-anything-but-a-failure\/"},"modified":"2015-08-03T20:20:26","modified_gmt":"2015-08-04T00:20:26","slug":"13-reasons-a-divorce-is-anything-but-a-failure","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/13-reasons-a-divorce-is-anything-but-a-failure\/","title":{"rendered":"13 Reasons A Divorce Is Anything But A Failure"},"content":{"rendered":"

13 Reasons A Divorce Is Anything But A Failure<\/b><\/p>\n

Most of us marry with the best of intentions: kids, a scrappy dog from the pound, a happy, healthy home — and when the kids are older, growing old and gray together. <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

No one goes into a marriage expecting<\/em> to divorce — but it happens. And if does<\/em> happen (to you, or someone you love), calling the split a “failed marriage” is pretty off the mark. There were undoubtedly happy times in the marriage, kids may have been brought into the world, and more than likely, the couple<\/a> spent a good deal of time trying to repair the relationship before deciding to divorce.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

As a reminder that good can come of a marriage ending, we asked our readers on Facebook to share how they feel about the idea that divorce is a failure<\/a> — and to share the reasons their marriages were of value,<\/a> even if they didn’t last. See what they had to say below. <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

 1. It was a stepping stone to a better life.<\/strong> <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

“My ‘failed’ marriage made me who I am today. The marriage wasn’t a failure. It was a necessary stepping stone. It was a relationship, full of choices, some with unfortunate outcomes. It ended for various reasons but my children, the life lessons and the growth I’ve shown since have all been successes.”  — Aubrey Keefer<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

2. Spending decades with one person is hardly a “failure.”  <\/strong><\/p>\n

3. A marriage where your needs aren’t met teaches you the importance of self-care.<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

“I didn’t fail at marriage. I gave everything I had to my marriage. I failed myself. I let my marriage become the only thing that mattered, risking my own health in the process.” — Beth Ellen Vasquez <\/em><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

4. Sometimes, losing a marriage means regaining your health. <\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

“After we separated, I had two surgeries I needed. I had avoided taking care of myself for so long.” —  Kris Russ <\/em><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

5. You and your ex had great times together.<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

“Why wasn’t my marriage a failure? Because when it was good, it was what people dream<\/em> of having…” — Maia Benusis<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

6. It provides a chance to reinvent yourself. <\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

“My unexpected divorce and job loss earlier this year has given me a wonderful opportunity to spend quality time with my beautiful teenagers<\/a>, reinvent my life and rediscover the true me. That’s a great opportunity at 50, not failure.” — Liz Kay<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

 7. Two words: Your kids. <\/strong><\/p>\n

8. Divorce forces you to become a stronger, more effective parent. <\/strong>
“Divorce made me discover the much-needed strength I had buried deep inside of me for my two boys<\/a> and for myself.” — Jen Elnar Parker <\/em><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

9. Think of it this way: Your relationship just had an expiration date. <\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

“I prefer to think my marriage was successful, it simply had a surprising and unexpected expiration date. After being married for 30 years, it took a couple<\/a> of years post-divorce to come to this conclusion!”  –– Vicki Richards <\/em><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

10. You put in everything<\/em> to make it work. <\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

“I gave it my best. My children told me they just wanted to see me happy and these days, I’m happy.” — Carrie Spence<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

11. You might become a better person and parent after divorce. <\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

“Along with two amazing kids, I have a better relationship now with their mom than when we were married. We’ve given up a shared house and bed for being better people — in my mind that’s as big a win as we can get.” — Bill Lennan<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

12. You shouldn’t be living life on a pass-fail basis, anyway. <\/strong><\/p>\n

13.  You learned the value of self-preservation. <\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

“I got out alive and have rebuilt my life into something better. I learned the lessons that I needed to learn and I’m a better person for it. I’ve always been giving and loyal and willing to do anything for the people I loved but my marriage taught me that you don’t have to set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. Now I can teach my daughter that while helping people is wonderful, you always put on your own oxygen mask first.” — Kate Fruehling<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

More from HuffPost: <\/strong><\/p>\n

 Keep in touch! Check out HuffPost Divorce on Facebook.<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms.<\/a> It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.<\/p>\n


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13 Reasons A Divorce Is Anything But A Failure Most of us marry with the best of intentions: kids, a scrappy dog from the pound, a happy, healthy home — and when the kids are older, growing old and gray together.  No one goes into a marriage expecting to divorce — but it happens. And if … Continue reading 13 Reasons A Divorce Is Anything But A Failure<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2466,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[107],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-23663","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"yoast_head":"\n13 Reasons A Divorce Is Anything But A Failure - GAYFRIENDSCHAT.com<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/13-reasons-a-divorce-is-anything-but-a-failure\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"13 Reasons A Divorce Is Anything But A Failure - 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