{"id":20174,"date":"2015-06-19T18:21:07","date_gmt":"2015-06-19T22:21:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/the-21-funniest-tweets-from-women-this-week\/"},"modified":"2015-06-19T18:21:07","modified_gmt":"2015-06-19T22:21:07","slug":"the-21-funniest-tweets-from-women-this-week","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/the-21-funniest-tweets-from-women-this-week\/","title":{"rendered":"The 21 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week"},"content":{"rendered":"

The 21 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week<\/b>
\nThe ladies<\/a> of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant — but succinct — wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week’s great tweets from women<\/a>, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women<\/a> page for our past collections.<\/big><\/p>\n

\n

In order to attract the African American vote, Donald Trump has declared his running mate will be Rachel Dolezal<\/p>\n

— (maura) (@behindyourback) June 16, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

My new moisturizer has a special organic “nutri-soil” complex in it so I can look sexy AND grow heirloom tomatoes on my face if I need to.<\/p>\n

— Mariya Alexander (@MariyaAlexander) June 16, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

Marriage is mostly just attempting to make compromises in which you get the better deal.<\/p>\n

— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) June 17, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

I miss the days before the internet, when you didn’t know some person’s every awful thought until they died and you cleaned out their attic.<\/p>\n

— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) June 18, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

male<\/a> doctor: I’m afraid you have mercury poisoning <\/p>\n

me: *ahem* HERcury poisoning <\/p>\n

md: ok but still you literally have minutes to live<\/a><\/p>\n

— Ali Garfinkel (@aligarchy) June 16, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

Fact: Everything is a fact if you don’t know what the word fact means.<\/p>\n

— Jess (@jessokfine) June 15, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

My vocabulary is just varying lengths of sighs.<\/p>\n

— LazorTits (@lorigonzalez28) June 18, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

One time I invited a guy<\/a> over for dinner but I didn’t feel like cooking so I just poured us each a bowl of cereal really romantically.<\/p>\n

— Baby Swayze (@buhsbaby_baby) June 15, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

Unless my horoscope says “you should absolutely eat 26 chicken nuggets today” I’m not really interested.<\/p>\n

— The Alicianater (@leechee420) June 18, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

911 what is your emer-
\nA HOT GUY W\/ TATTOOS IS PLAYING W\/ A BABY BY THE COFFEE STAND I WORK AT
\nMa’am, that’s no-
\nI THINK MY OVARIES EXPLODED<\/p>\n

— Jayne Complains (@jaynecomplains) June 13, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

*dumps a bag of sugar on you* An now you’re my Peep.<\/p>\n

— Kaylee ☂ (@Sinfullee) June 15, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

After spending a day thinking too much and over analyzing, I’m pretty sure I’ve created a portal into another world with no exit<\/p>\n

— Ella Fraser (@ella__fraser) June 15, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

What’s it called when you love animals more than people?<\/p>\n

I’m that.<\/p>\n

— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) June 13, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

The year is 2075. Gender & race no longer exist. There are just 2 types of people: Vegan or Paleo<\/p>\n

— Randi Lawson (@RandiLawson) June 14, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

It’s a lot harder to find a late night parking spot now that they deliver drugs 24\/7<\/p>\n

— Jessica Delfino (@jessicadelfino) June 13, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

Have you ever been unsure whether you’re angry because you’re hungry or you’re angry because it’s Tuesday?<\/p>\n

— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) June 16, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

it must be really hard being lebron. i remember doing group projects in school<\/p>\n

— Alexis Wilkinson (@OhGodItsAlexis) June 17, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

Sometimes the conversational utility of “It’s so cold in this office, right?!” is worth it being so cold in this office.<\/p>\n

— Amanda Duberman (@AmandaDuberman) June 16, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

With my massive snack collection and willingness to do the sex<\/a>, my single status is puzzling.<\/p>\n

— heather lou* (@heatherlou_) June 19, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

Maybe people would be happier if they just spent more time looking at pictures of dogs wearing wigs<\/p>\n

— Pugnado (@LuvPug) June 19, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

Can you imagine the type of monster that eats a suggested serving size?<\/p>\n

— bourgeois beth (@bourgeoisalien) June 16, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms.<\/a> It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.<\/p>\n

www.huffingtonpost.com\/2015\/06\/19\/best-tweets-women-on-twitter_n_7598454.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The 21 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week The ladies<\/a> of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant — but succinct — wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week’s great tweets from women<\/a>, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page … Continue reading The 21 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2466,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[107],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20174","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"yoast_head":"\nThe 21 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week - GAYFRIENDSCHAT.com<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/the-21-funniest-tweets-from-women-this-week\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The 21 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week - GAYFRIENDSCHAT.com\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The 21 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant — but succinct — wisdom. 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