{"id":18631,"date":"2015-05-09T10:20:16","date_gmt":"2015-05-09T14:20:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/the-20-funniest-tweets-from-women-this-week\/"},"modified":"2015-05-09T10:20:16","modified_gmt":"2015-05-09T14:20:16","slug":"the-20-funniest-tweets-from-women-this-week","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/the-20-funniest-tweets-from-women-this-week\/","title":{"rendered":"The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week"},"content":{"rendered":"

The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week<\/b>
\nThe ladies<\/a> of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant — but succinct — wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week’s great tweets from women<\/a>, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women<\/a> page for our past collections.<\/big><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

you can pry ‘totes mcgotes’ out of my cold, dead hands<\/p>\n

— Chelsea Fagan (@Chelsea_Fagan) May 4, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

I like my coffee how I like my men<\/a>. Incapable of disrespecting me.<\/p>\n

— Twitnter Is Coming (@OhNoSheTwitnt) May 4, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

Please be nice to me
\n*is nice to me*
\nWhat did I do, are you mad at me?<\/p>\n

— claudia martin (@cloudypianos) May 5, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

Nothing would make me happier than a supercut of people having their phones stolen off the ends of selfie sticks<\/p>\n

— Anna Drezen (@annadrezen) May 5, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

Move bitch get out the way – me singing to pigeons<\/p>\n

— Amber (@missambear) May 6, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

Last night I dreamt that Angelina Jolie lost a beauty pageant to a literal baby and was none too pleased about it.<\/p>\n

— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) May 8, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

there is no twentysomething experience more humbling than going to the supermarket just to buy milk and tampons<\/p>\n

— Tess Koman (@tessie_the_mess) May 6, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

Real talk a female<\/a> president won’t launch nukes when she’s on her period at most she’ll waste an hour reading her ex’s new girlfriend<\/a>’s blog<\/p>\n

— Gaby Dunn (@gabydunn) May 6, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

Causing a scene runs in my family.<\/p>\n

— Victoria Sofia (@Ideal_Victoria) May 8, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

we as humans have found countless ways to contort and defile language but by far the worst string of words ever is “nice to e-meet you”<\/p>\n

— Alanna Okun (@Alannabean) May 7, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

“I’m leaning into it and I’m creaming them.” –40-something white man<\/a> in suit riding Citi Bike in West Village to identical friend<\/p>\n

— Juli Weiner (@juliweiner) April 28, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

goddess grant me the serenity courage and wisdom not to buy the things I put in my online shopping cart after midnight<\/p>\n

— dodai (@dodaistewart) May 8, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

People who refuse to believe women<\/a> are harassed online sure do love to make their point by harassing women<\/a> online.<\/p>\n

— Kate Spencer (@katespencer) May 5, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

im tired of being amazed by beyonce. im not saying im not amazed i just literally dont have the energy anymore. can she stop? i need rest<\/p>\n

— Tracy Clayton (@brokeymcpoverty) May 5, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

I know maybe I’ll just buy one of those huge body pillows and name it James and call<\/a> it a day<\/p>\n

— Annie Stamell (@stamos) May 4, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

person: do you want to hang out
\nme in a wedding dress: yes<\/p>\n

— the cabbage (@ramenfuneral) May 7, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

Panic! at the Costco<\/p>\n

— yung cherub (@k0k0kardashian) May 4, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

You’re Gross: A Beauty Guide For Women<\/p>\n

— moody monday (@mdob11) May 4, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

People with unusually strong emotions about pretend movies are the real heroes.<\/p>\n

— Pony Starwars (@tigersgoroooar) May 5, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

Hey tough dudes wearing shorts that come down past your calves. They’re called capris. You are wearing capris<\/p>\n

— Randi Lawson (@RandiLawson) May 8, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms.<\/a> It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.<\/p>\n

www.huffingtonpost.com\/2015\/05\/09\/best-tweets-from-women_n_7207340.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week The ladies<\/a> of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant — but succinct — wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week’s great tweets from women<\/a>, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page … Continue reading The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2466,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[107],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18631","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"yoast_head":"\nThe 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week - GAYFRIENDSCHAT.com<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/the-20-funniest-tweets-from-women-this-week\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week - GAYFRIENDSCHAT.com\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant — but succinct — wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week’s great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page … Continue reading The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week →\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/the-20-funniest-tweets-from-women-this-week\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"GAYFRIENDSCHAT.com\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2015-05-09T14:20:16+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"GayFriendschat.com\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@gayfriendschat\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@gayfriendschat\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"GayFriendschat.com\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.gayfriendschat.com\\\/socialblog\\\/the-20-funniest-tweets-from-women-this-week\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.gayfriendschat.com\\\/socialblog\\\/the-20-funniest-tweets-from-women-this-week\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"GayFriendschat.com\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.gayfriendschat.com\\\/socialblog\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/181913201d50f65b9bba7437f822a17f\"},\"headline\":\"The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week\",\"datePublished\":\"2015-05-09T14:20:16+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.gayfriendschat.com\\\/socialblog\\\/the-20-funniest-tweets-from-women-this-week\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":569,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.gayfriendschat.com\\\/socialblog\\\/#organization\"},\"articleSection\":[\"NEWS\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.gayfriendschat.com\\\/socialblog\\\/the-20-funniest-tweets-from-women-this-week\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.gayfriendschat.com\\\/socialblog\\\/the-20-funniest-tweets-from-women-this-week\\\/\",\"name\":\"The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week - GAYFRIENDSCHAT.com\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.gayfriendschat.com\\\/socialblog\\\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2015-05-09T14:20:16+00:00\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.gayfriendschat.com\\\/socialblog\\\/the-20-funniest-tweets-from-women-this-week\\\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.gayfriendschat.com\\\/socialblog\\\/the-20-funniest-tweets-from-women-this-week\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.gayfriendschat.com\\\/socialblog\\\/the-20-funniest-tweets-from-women-this-week\\\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.gayfriendschat.com\\\/socialblog\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.gayfriendschat.com\\\/socialblog\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.gayfriendschat.com\\\/socialblog\\\/\",\"name\":\"GAYFRIENDSCHAT.com\",\"description\":\"LGBT BLOG\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.gayfriendschat.com\\\/socialblog\\\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.gayfriendschat.com\\\/socialblog\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.gayfriendschat.com\\\/socialblog\\\/#organization\",\"name\":\"GayFriendsChat.com\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.gayfriendschat.com\\\/socialblog\\\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.gayfriendschat.com\\\/socialblog\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/logo\\\/image\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.gayfriendschat.com\\\/socialblog\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2019\\\/01\\\/Logo.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.gayfriendschat.com\\\/socialblog\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2019\\\/01\\\/Logo.jpg\",\"width\":243,\"height\":96,\"caption\":\"GayFriendsChat.com\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.gayfriendschat.com\\\/socialblog\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/logo\\\/image\\\/\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/x.com\\\/gayfriendschat\"]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.gayfriendschat.com\\\/socialblog\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/181913201d50f65b9bba7437f822a17f\",\"name\":\"GayFriendschat.com\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/42a0cb75ed5dd34c6dc3e0aa48adf030c1c38a2c9dc59146f4afdf18e4bdf1d4?s=96&d=blank&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/42a0cb75ed5dd34c6dc3e0aa48adf030c1c38a2c9dc59146f4afdf18e4bdf1d4?s=96&d=blank&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/42a0cb75ed5dd34c6dc3e0aa48adf030c1c38a2c9dc59146f4afdf18e4bdf1d4?s=96&d=blank&r=g\",\"caption\":\"GayFriendschat.com\"},\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.gayfriendschat.com\\\/socialblog\\\/author\\\/gayfriendschat-com\\\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week - GAYFRIENDSCHAT.com","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/the-20-funniest-tweets-from-women-this-week\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week - GAYFRIENDSCHAT.com","og_description":"The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant — but succinct — wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week’s great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page … Continue reading The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week →","og_url":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/the-20-funniest-tweets-from-women-this-week\/","og_site_name":"GAYFRIENDSCHAT.com","article_published_time":"2015-05-09T14:20:16+00:00","author":"GayFriendschat.com","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@gayfriendschat","twitter_site":"@gayfriendschat","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"GayFriendschat.com","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/the-20-funniest-tweets-from-women-this-week\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/the-20-funniest-tweets-from-women-this-week\/"},"author":{"name":"GayFriendschat.com","@id":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/#\/schema\/person\/181913201d50f65b9bba7437f822a17f"},"headline":"The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week","datePublished":"2015-05-09T14:20:16+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/the-20-funniest-tweets-from-women-this-week\/"},"wordCount":569,"commentCount":0,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/#organization"},"articleSection":["NEWS"],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/the-20-funniest-tweets-from-women-this-week\/","url":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/the-20-funniest-tweets-from-women-this-week\/","name":"The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week - GAYFRIENDSCHAT.com","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/#website"},"datePublished":"2015-05-09T14:20:16+00:00","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/the-20-funniest-tweets-from-women-this-week\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/the-20-funniest-tweets-from-women-this-week\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/the-20-funniest-tweets-from-women-this-week\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/","name":"GAYFRIENDSCHAT.com","description":"LGBT BLOG","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/#organization","name":"GayFriendsChat.com","url":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Logo.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Logo.jpg","width":243,"height":96,"caption":"GayFriendsChat.com"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/x.com\/gayfriendschat"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/#\/schema\/person\/181913201d50f65b9bba7437f822a17f","name":"GayFriendschat.com","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/42a0cb75ed5dd34c6dc3e0aa48adf030c1c38a2c9dc59146f4afdf18e4bdf1d4?s=96&d=blank&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/42a0cb75ed5dd34c6dc3e0aa48adf030c1c38a2c9dc59146f4afdf18e4bdf1d4?s=96&d=blank&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/42a0cb75ed5dd34c6dc3e0aa48adf030c1c38a2c9dc59146f4afdf18e4bdf1d4?s=96&d=blank&r=g","caption":"GayFriendschat.com"},"url":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/author\/gayfriendschat-com\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18631","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2466"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18631"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18631\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18631"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18631"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18631"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}