{"id":110770,"date":"2019-12-04T16:26:00","date_gmt":"2019-12-04T21:26:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/shes-convinced-her-boyfriend-is-gay-because-he-knows-intimate-information-about-his-best-friend\/"},"modified":"2019-12-04T16:26:00","modified_gmt":"2019-12-04T21:26:00","slug":"shes-convinced-her-boyfriend-is-gay-because-he-knows-intimate-information-about-his-best-friend","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/shes-convinced-her-boyfriend-is-gay-because-he-knows-intimate-information-about-his-best-friend\/","title":{"rendered":"She\u2019s convinced her boyfriend is gay because he knows intimate information about his best friend"},"content":{"rendered":"

She\u2019s convinced her boyfriend is gay<\/a> because he knows intimate information about his best friend<\/b><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

A woman<\/a> is convinced her new boyfriend is gay<\/a> after hearing him speak to an \u201ceffeminate\u201d man<\/a> on the phone and then learning he knows his friends, ahem, size<\/em>, so she\u2019s writing to advice columnist Stoya over at Slate<\/a><\/em> for help.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m dating a man<\/a> who admitted having sex<\/a> with another man<\/a> many years ago while on drugs,\u201d the letter begins.<\/p>\n

The woman<\/a>, who only recently began dating again after getting divorced, says her boyfriend, now sober, insists the hookup was \u201ca one-time-only thing,\u201d but she has her suspicions.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

\u201cHis stories conflict,\u201d she writes. \u201cHe is kind and loving in every way. But he\u2019s done several things that make me question him: He recently referred to a male<\/a> friend\u2019s penis<\/a> size as \u2018dead weight.\u2019 How would he know that?\u201d<\/p>\n

She continues, \u201cThen, when watching a movie, he blurted out regarding a male<\/a> actor: \u2018He\u2019s beautiful.\u2019 Which is an odd way to describe another man<\/a>.\u201d<\/p>\n

But it doesn\u2019t stop there.<\/p>\n

\u201cThen, I received a phone call<\/a> that I overheard (speakerphone) from a man<\/a> asking in an effeminate voice \u2018What do you need today?’\u201d the woman<\/a> adds. \u201cHe immediately ended the call<\/a> and acted upset.\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

She continues, \u201cFinally, when we visited a city with a very large gay<\/a> population, he knew the gay<\/a> neighborhood \u2026 well. This actually happened in two<\/em> cities, one of which he lived in while married and separated.\u201d<\/p>\n

All of this has her wondering: Is her boyfriend a closeted homosexual?<\/p>\n

\u201cI believe I\u2019ve answered these questions myself, just in asking,\u201d she concludes.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

In her response, Stoya struggles with how to answer the woman<\/a>\u2019s letter.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sure what questions you\u2019re asking, so I\u2019m relieved to hear that you believe you\u2019ve answered them yourself,\u201d she writes. \u201cWhile you\u2019re here, though, I\u2019ll give you my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n

She goes on to say the woman<\/a> sounds \u201creally hung up on this\u201d and that maybe she needs to take a deep breath and relax for a second.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think you have a smoking gun that this man<\/a> is gay<\/a>,\u201d she writes, \u201cbut I also suspect you conceive of gay<\/a> and straight as a binary situation.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cReally, it\u2019s a spectrum that sometimes intersects with other spectrums\u2014like gender expression, relationship structure style, and sexual interests\u2014and some people are off in an asterisk-shaped paradise.\u201d<\/p>\n

She continues, \u201cMaybe he did sleep with a guy<\/a> more than one time, and maybe it is part of his sexuality, but that doesn\u2019t mean it defines him.\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

The bottom line: If this woman<\/a> wants to make things work with her boyfriend, she\u2019s gotta change her way of thinking.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you want to stay with this guy<\/a>, you\u2019re probably going to need to work on broadening and nuancing your framing,\u201d she writes. \u201cIf you don\u2019t want to stay with him, I\u2019m not sure why you\u2019re writing.\u201d<\/p>\n

What do you think of this situation and Stoya\u2019s advice? Sound off in the comments section below\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/div>\n
\n<\/a> <\/a>\n<\/div>\n

\nwww.queerty.com\/shes-convinced-boyfriend-gay-knows-intimate-information-best-friend-20191204?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+queerty2+%28Queerty%29<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

She\u2019s convinced her boyfriend is gay<\/a> because he knows intimate information about his best friend A woman<\/a> is convinced her new boyfriend is gay<\/a> after hearing him speak to an \u201ceffeminate\u201d man<\/a> on the phone and then learning he knows his friends, ahem, size, so she\u2019s writing to advice columnist Stoya over at Slate for … Continue reading She\u2019s convinced her boyfriend is gay because he knows intimate information about his best friend<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2466,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[107],"tags":[784],"class_list":["post-110770","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news","tag-gay"],"yoast_head":"\nShe\u2019s convinced her boyfriend is gay because he knows intimate information about his best friend - GAYFRIENDSCHAT.com<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" 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