{"id":105291,"date":"2019-11-04T18:27:12","date_gmt":"2019-11-04T23:27:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/woman-worried-her-flamboyant-bi-boyfriend-is-really-gay\/"},"modified":"2019-11-04T18:27:12","modified_gmt":"2019-11-04T23:27:12","slug":"woman-worried-her-flamboyant-bi-boyfriend-is-really-gay","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/woman-worried-her-flamboyant-bi-boyfriend-is-really-gay\/","title":{"rendered":"Woman worried her flamboyant bi boyfriend is really gay"},"content":{"rendered":"

Woman worried her flamboyant bi<\/a> boyfriend is really gay<\/a><\/b><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

A woman<\/a> terrified that her self-labeled bisexual<\/a> boyfriend might actually turn out to be gay<\/a> has sought advice from a therapist writing in The Atlantic<\/em>.<\/a> In short, the therapist\u2019s advice had a high dose of tough love.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m worried because (a) he\u2019s never been with a man<\/a> before and being with me means he won\u2019t get that experience (assuming he doesn\u2019t cheat) and (b) he comes from an extremely religious family in the South who would likely not be able to accept his homosexuality (or even bisexuality),\u201d the woman<\/a> writes. \u201cI once asked him when we first started dating if he was with me to appease his family, whom he\u2019s very close with, and he said \u201cKind of\u201d but that he still found me attractive.\u201d<\/p>\n

The woman<\/a> goes on to express her fears that her boyfriend is really gay<\/a> and eventually will leave her, or that he is transgender and will want to transition later in life. \u201cHe sometimes acts effeminate and dresses extremely flamboyantly,\u201d she writes. \u201cI have no problem with people who identify in these ways, but I personally don\u2019t have an interest in being romantically involved with someone who does. I have a very strong sneaking suspicion that he\u2019s biding his time until his parents die or until he decides that he\u2019s going to come out to them as gay<\/a>.\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

Related:\u00a0Legendary record exec Clive Davis opens up about learning to embrace his bisexuality<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

The therapist of\u00a0The Atlantic<\/em> empathized with the woman<\/a>, but pointed out something more glaring. \u201cWhat strikes me most about your letter, though, is the amount of emotional energy you\u2019re putting into guessing your boyfriend\u2019s state of mind,\u201d the therapist writes. \u201cThe more you ruminate about his potential turmoil, the more turmoil you create for yourself. And even as you worry about whether he might be keeping his thoughts from you, you\u2019re also keeping your thoughts from him.\u201d<\/p>\n

The problem for the couple<\/a> then is not the man<\/a>\u2019s sexuality, but rather a failure to communicate. The therapist encourages open dialogue about gender, family, sex<\/a> and what the couple<\/a> wants from their future. \u201cNow\u2019s the time to have these discussions, and you can start by making sure that you broach the topic as a conversation and not as an accusation\u2026You\u2019ll also want to be mindful not to pressure him to take a stance, especially because he may not know how he feels, or he may not be ready to say. The point of these initial conversations will likely be less about getting answers and more about hearing each other.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ultimately, the therapist cautions the woman<\/a> not to jump to conclusions. Homosexuality, bisexuality and transgenderism are not the same thing, and one does not lead to the other. Therefore, the problem isn\u2019t the man<\/a>\u2019s sexuality but the woman<\/a>\u2019s insecurity, and the failure of the couple<\/a> to have real conversations about love and sex<\/a>. In that way, the lessons apply to all couples<\/a>: talk about your fears, your problems and your hopes for the future. Sexuality isn\u2019t the issue: communication is!<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n
\n<\/a> <\/a>\n<\/div>\n

\nwww.queerty.com\/woman-worried-flamboyant-bi-boyfriend-really-gay-20191104?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+queerty2+%28Queerty%29<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Woman worried her flamboyant bi<\/a> boyfriend is really gay<\/a> A woman<\/a> terrified that her self-labeled bisexual<\/a> boyfriend might actually turn out to be gay<\/a> has sought advice from a therapist writing in The Atlantic. In short, the therapist\u2019s advice had a high dose of tough love. \u201cI\u2019m worried because (a) he\u2019s never been with a … Continue reading Woman worried her flamboyant bi boyfriend is really gay<\/a><\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2466,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[107],"tags":[32094,784,32093],"class_list":["post-105291","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news","tag-clive-davis","tag-gay","tag-related-legendary"],"yoast_head":"\nWoman worried her flamboyant bi boyfriend is really gay - GAYFRIENDSCHAT.com<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.gayfriendschat.com\/socialblog\/woman-worried-her-flamboyant-bi-boyfriend-is-really-gay\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Woman worried her flamboyant bi boyfriend is really gay - GAYFRIENDSCHAT.com\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Woman worried her flamboyant bi boyfriend is really gay A woman terrified that her self-labeled bisexual boyfriend might actually turn out to be gay has sought advice from a therapist writing in The Atlantic. 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