Lazy day, Sunday afternoon
Like to get your feet up, watch TV
Sunday roast is something good to eat
Must be lamb today ’cause beef was last week
So full up, bursting at the seams
Soon you’ll start to nod off, happy dreams
Wake up, for tea and buttered scones (It’s such a crying shame)
Such a lot of work for you, Sunday moms (Week after week the same)
Today’s heaven-sent and you’re feeling content
‘Cause you worked all week long ~Moody Blues videolink
In all the best TV cookery shows the presenter does a spot of preparation and then swiftly opens the oven and with a ‘here’s one we made earlier’ statement, out pops a fully formed dish, ready for serving.
In this case, it is a basket of Taco chips that stare balefully up at me….
Gay black lives mattered more than ever in the 2010s
As we enter into the roaring ’20s, Queerty is looking back on the last 10 years of culture in our “Decade of Decadence” series. We’ve seen an explosion in queer representation in film and TV, music, politics, and on social media. We’ve grown more aware of intersectionality, gender identity, and sexual fluidity and we’ve seen major social and political advancements across the globe. It’s been wild, wonderful decade, and we can hardly wait to see what the next one has in store.
Do you remember where you were 10 years ago? I do. I was either lounging on my living room couch, cooling down in a movie theater, or hitting a bar or dance floor in Buenos Aires (the city I’d relocated to from New York City four days after the fifth anniversary of 9/11). Wherever I happened to be passing my time, if I was having a gay pop-culture moment, chances are I was drowning in a sea of white: Milk,A Single Man (possibly my favorite film of 2009, despite its utterly monochromatic casting), reruns of Queer As Folk, Kurt on Glee, Adam Lambert, Lady Gaga fans, etc.
LGBTQ finally had earned the visibility we’d spent decades clamoring for, with A-list actors regularly earning Oscar nominations after going gay for pay. Hollywood’s rainbow flag, though, was dominated by one color. While many bemoaned the sad fact that gaymen were finally ready for prime time yet straight actors usually got to play them, I was equally concerned that both the gay characters and the actors hogging the roles were almost always white.
Then along came Moonlight to shake up movies in 2016. It was revolutionary for a number of reasons, including its ability to do what Brokeback Mountain had failed to do a decade earlier: win the Oscar for Best Picture (take that, blindingly white La La Land). While its Oscar-night triumph was the blackberry on top, Moonlight will go down in history as the film that truly brought black and gay into the mainstream. That’s its legacy. Without it, we might not have gotten Eric on Sex Education, Lionel on Dear White People, and Damon, Ricky, and Pray Tell on Pose — gay black males who got to do more than offer campy comic relief to white leads.
Last year, we got a biopic with a main character who was black and gay — jazz pianist Don Shirley in Green Book, another Best Picture Oscar winner — though he was played by Mahershala Ali, another straight actor. Ali took home his second Oscar for the role. He’d scored his first for playing a straight character in Moonlight, making him one of our key black hetero allies in Hollywood during the 2010s. Kevin Hart could learn a lot from him.
Billy Porter took black gay visibility leaps further in 2019 when he earned a Golden Globe nomination and nabbed an Emmy for his role as Pray Tell on Pose. He was only the fifth black actor and the first openly gay black one to win an Emmy for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series (Bill Cosby, who won three consecutive times for I Spy, remains the only African-American to claim victory more than once in the category) and the first actor of any race to take it for playing a gay character.
The 50-year-old showbiz vet, who made headlines at the beginning of the year for daring to wear a tuxedo gown on the Golden Globes red carpet, already had added a Tony and a Grammy to his collection of career accolades during the 2010s. He just might kick off his 2020s with an Oscar for his upcoming role as the Fairy Godmother in the big-screen musical adaptation of Cinderella. (You read it here first!)
Ali’s and Moonlight’s Oscar wins, Porter’s Emmy grab, and all the black actors, gay and straight, playing pivotal gay roles on TV and in movies (an increasingly expanding list that now includes Andre Braugher on Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Tituss Burgess on Unbreakable Kimmie Schmidt, among others) sent an important message: in many ways, we finally have overcome. How much we’ve evolved from the ’90s when, offscreen, Denzel Washington allegedly cautioned Will Smith not to kiss a guy onscreen in Six Degrees of Separation, Smith’s first major movie role.
Here in the real world, real strides were being made by gay apps like Scruff and Grindr to fight sexual racism after years of pretending that “No blacks,” “No Asians,” and “whites only” was only a preference. We might never completely eradicate discriminatory language from the gay hook-up lexicon, but at least the apps are doing more not to be complicit accessories to the racism that still taints and taunts our community.
Meanwhile, blacks were coming out both in sports (basketballer Jason Collins and footballer Michael Sam) and in music during 2010s. Frank Ocean turned the tide in 2012 when he revealed that his first love had been a man, and Lil Nas X kept the waves rolling in when he came out at the close of Gay Pride Month and still ended 2019 with the longest running number-one single ever (“Old Town Road”) and six Grammy nominations.
And let’s not forgot Tyler, The Creator’s Igor, an album built around a love triangle featuring two men in love and the ex-girlfriend coming between them. Rap remains a mostly straight (and homophobic) world, but Tyler, who teases he might be gay or bisexual without claiming either label, is up for the Best Rap Album Grammy.
On the darker side (no pun intended), there was the unfortunate case of Empire actor Jussie Smollett, whose career imploded earlier this year after he was charged with falsely claiming he’d been the victim of a homophobic and racist attack in Chicago. Hoax or not, the story cost Smollett his job on Empire, and there was plenty of collateral damage. Gay bashings, especially when racism is also a motivator, might not be taken as seriously in the future. Still, the fallout forced us to acknowledge that the story would not have been possible in a society where gay black men don’t live with two targets on their backs.
Things may not be perfect as we head into the 2020s, but when you have Pete Buttigieg, the first openly gayman with even a distant shot at scoring the Democratic Presidential nomination, being forced to acknowledge that black lives do indeed matter, a revolution is clearly underway. May the next Roaring Twenties push gay black power even further to the forefront.
Jeremy Helligar is a New York City-based journalist from the U.S. Virgin Islands and the author of the travelogue/memoir Is It True What They Say About Black Men?
As we enter into the roaring ’20s, Queerty is looking back on the last 10 years of culture in our “Decade of Decadence” series. We’ve seen an explosion in queer representation in film and TV, music, politics, and on social media. We’ve grown more aware of intersectionality, gender identity, and sexual fluidity and we’ve seen major social and political advancements across the globe. It’s been wild, wonderful decade, and we can hardly wait to see what the next one has in store.
With the explosion of services has come an explosion of marvelous stories the likes of which have never reached a wide audience. Now kids can grow up cheering on their favorite drag queen, watching the New York Ballroom scene at the height of the AIDS crisis, and see a superheroine capture the villain and win a kiss from her crush. TV still has miles to go to achieve a truer sense of representation–we can think of multiple glaring ommissions–but looking back it’s surprising how far we have come.
Have a look at our pics for the best TV series of the 2010s.
Honorable Mention: The L Word: Generation Q, The Politician, The OA, London Spy, A Very English Scandal, 13 Reasons Why, When We Rise, Batwoman, The Fosters, This Close, Riverdale, Work in Progress, RuPaul‘s Drag Race
10. Empire
What a shame that a show with such promise—and which had a terrific queer storyline featuring a real-life gay actor—had to come to such a disappointing end. Empire never tried to hide its own soapiness, and it always paid good attention to the struggle of Jamal (played by Jussie Smollett) living as a gay hip hop artist. Empire axed Smollett following charges that he faked a hate crime, leaving the audience in something of a limbo. Still, in this case, a great start is enough to earn a spot here.
9. The Normal Heart
Fair warning: Ryan Murphy’s name will come several times on this list. The first concerns his directorial outing, The Normal Heart. Based on Larry Kramer’s play about the AIDS crisis, the HBO film channels the chaos and despair of the plague era. A stellar cast that includes Mark Ruffalo, Julia Roberts, Matt Bomer, Jim Parsons, BD Wong and Alec Baldwin brings the story all the gravitas and power the material demands. Moreover, as Ruffalo’s character bears witness to the unfolding epidemic—and stomachs the rage that comes with it—so does the viewer. The Normal Heart isn’t just a movie. It’s a call to action to defend a community.
8. Transparent
Much like Empire,Transparentbegan on a note of hope only to turn sour, due in large part to the behavior of a cast member. The casting of Jeffery Tambor as the transgender woman Maura Pfeifferman will forever remain a controversial issue in the annals of television, a fact further undermined by the actor’s abusive behavior toward his coworkers. That’s unfortunate, as the show afforded more opportunities for transgender artists on both sides of the camera than any other up to that point in time. More importantly, a show like Pose would never have happened without Transparent first, flaws and all.
7. Tales of the City
Armistead Maupin’s seminal series of novels got the 21st-century treatment it deserved, one featuring a diverse cast of characters, and a chorus of queer voices on both sides of the camera. This latter-day Tales celebrates and scrutinizes the advancements of the LGBTQ community, its generational and class divides, and the existential questions that sit before us in the new century. Rarely has a series so expressed love for LGBTQ people, our history and our future.
6. American Crime Story: The Assassination of Gianni Versace
Ryan Murphy and Tom Rob Smith (London Spy) joined forces for this operatic treatment of the murder of Gianni Versace by spree killer Andrew Cunanan. Darren Criss gives a career-defining performance as Cunanan, leading the show down a path of potboiler twists and turns, building to its inevitable tragedy. ACS: Versace argues the magnitude of that tragedy could have been avoided were it not for a society rife with homophobia, where same-sexcouples couldn’t marry, queer Americans couldn’t serve in the military, and where successful men lived in closets and empty, straight marriages. It also posits that a man of great promise can become a monster if he is spoiled, not loved.
5. Killing Eve
Sorry Hannibal fans, but only one horror/mystery series dripping with homoeroticism makes the cut here. That distinction goes to Killing Eve, a feminine thriller charged with so much sexual energy it inspires us to keep an open mind. It’s a Bond story about the Bond girl—suspenseful, stylish and very refreshing. Leave it to the ingenious mind of Phoebe Waller-Bridge (who also gave us the excellent Fleabag) to come up with a story this unusual, sexy and utterly addictive.
4. Sense8
Thank goodness for Lana & Lily Wachowski, the transgender sci-fi nerds that have gifted the world one of the great sci-fi sagas in The Matrix, and this gloriously queer show about a group of diverse characters sharing a mental link. Sense8 may have been too sophisticated for its time, and for its metaphors about the internet, the patriarchy, globalism, social class and gender & sexual fluidity. But rarely has a show ever been this pro-LGBTQ, as evidenced by the interracial, trans-cis gaycouple of Nomi & Amanita (trans actress Jamie Clayton & Freema Agyeman). An unceremonious cancellation by Netflix brought about an unprecedented (and unmatched) fan reaction that allowed Lana Wachowski and the show’s co-creator J. Michael Straczynski to return for a wrap-up movie. Ultimately, Sense8—a show about the evolution of humanity—made a powerful statement about attraction: we don’t fall in love with looks, class, race or even gender, but with the souls buried underneath.
3. Looking
Exactly how did a show with such accolades, such promise, and such a devoted fanbase die so quickly? Critics have often posed the question over TV classics like Twin Peaks or My So-Called Life that met with the swift ax, only for audiences to return to them year after year. Lookingfalls into that category. The San Francisco-based show about the everyday lives of gaymen used its often soapy storylines of sex, dating, backstabbing, and friendship drama as a greater prism by which to view the changing identity of the LGBTQ community, and its place in the world. The show may have ended to soon, but at least Looking helped make the careers of now-beloved performers like Jonathan Groff, Murray Bartlett, Russell Tovey & Frankie J. Alvarez.
2. She-Ra and the Princesses of Power
Who would have thought that a rebooted animated fantasy series aimed at kids would also become one of the most LGBTQ-affirming shows ever? She-Ra takes place in a world of gender and sexual fluidity, of same-sexcouples presented in a matter of fact way, of gay parents, nonbinary characters and where butch women and femme men have sex symbol status. Even better, they enjoy wild and exciting adventures, complete with all the action beats that usually get reserved for men. At only 27, head writer/showrunner Noelle Stevenson has a bright career ahead of her. She-Ra cements her as one of the most important queer artists working today. What grand and gay adventures will she have in store for us.
1. Pose
Oh, like it was going to be anything else! The pinnacle of Ryan Murphy’s explosive decade of TV domination, Pose represents queer life and history like nothing else before it. The New York ballroom scene, the scourge of AIDS, the role of transgender people in shaping the community, and the ongoing struggle for equality…it’s all here, recreated in gritty detail. It helps that Murphy passed off showrunning duties to the show’s co-creator Steven Canals, and to transgender writers like Our Lady J and Janet Mock. It helps too that the show employs an extraordinary cast, led by the extraordinary performers Billy Porter and MJ Rodriguez. Though soapy at times, we’re loathe to think of another series that depicts the LGBTQ community with such stark realism, or such love.
Indeed, and above all, Pose is a show about the love that makes a family, a community, and that finds hope in even the darkest of times.
The 10 most explosive political gaysex scandals of the last 10 years
As we enter into the roaring ’20s, Queerty is looking back on the last 10 years of culture in our “Decade of Decadence” series. We’ve seen an explosion in queer representation in film and TV, music, politics, and on social media. We’ve grown more aware of intersectionality, gender identity, and sexual fluidity and we’ve seen major social and political advancements across the globe. It’s been wild, wonderful decade, and we can hardly wait to see what the next one has in store.
A proud conservative Christian from Ohio caught having sex with another dude in his government office after hours.
A Republican lawmaker from Illinois busted for using his ex-girlfriend’s nudes to catfish unsuspecting men online into having cybersex.
A Tea Partier from Michigan outed for faking his own gaysex scandal to distract from his real-life straight sex scandal.
The 2010s were a banner decade for antigay politicians getting caught with their pants around their ankles, giving credence to the age-old saying that those who protest the loudest usually have the most to hide. Here’s a look back at 10 of the most explosive political gaysex scandals of the last 10 years…
The happily married father of three and local Republican politician from Louisiana admitted to sexting with a 17-year-old Catholic school boy who he met at a luncheon for graduating seniors in 2015. According to the teen, after the luncheon, Yenni arranged to meet him in a mall bathroom, where the lawmaker gifted him a pair of $75 designer underpants then asked him to send him pictures of himself modeling them. Then they made out for a while.
The Narcissist, Dr. Amnesia, and The Fetishizer: My disastrous decade of dating
As we enter into the roaring ’20s, Queerty is looking back on the last 10 years of culture in our “Decade of Decadence” series. We’ve seen an explosion in queer representation in film and TV, music, politics, and on social media. We’ve grown more aware of intersectionality, gender identity, and sexual fluidity and we’ve seen major social and political advancements across the globe. It’s been wild, wonderful decade, and we can hardly wait to see what the next one has in store.
At the beginning of the decade, I was 23 years old.
Fresh out of grad school, I relocated to D.C. to start my professional career and finally live a life that didn’t revolve around classes, all-nighters, and eating ramen noodles. I was in a big, diverse city, with my own place, a little cash in my pocket, and a Blackberry in my palm. I was a grown man. And I was ready to find a grown man to build a life with.
I never cared much about being single, but there’s something about completing new hire paperwork and having to list your estranged parents as your emergency contact and beneficiaries that makes you feel single as hell.
As I settled into my new life, I figured it was time to start dating. A friend told me about Match.com. I’d never met a guy online outside of the occasional A4A situation, but I was open. And so my story begins…
1. Mr. Fetishizer
The first guy who messaged me was in D.C. by way of Athens, Greece and worked for the World Bank. We met for drinks in DuPont Circle. I had never been on a real date before. In college and grad school, I mostly dated guys in my classes and we just started hanging out. So, this was a milestone.
After some beers and friendly conversation, we went back to World Bank Guy’s apartment. While making small talk as I got dressed, he made a statement that would kick start my decade of encountering men who would waste my time.
“I’m not usually into Black men, but that was hot. Do you have any other Blacks to play with?”
2. Dr. Amnesia
A couple of years ago, I met a handsome doctor on Grindr for what was supposed to be a hookup. After a few rounds of fun and pillow talk, he suggested grabbing dinner. He took me to his favorite ramen spot in Hell’s Kitchen where we talked about being military brats, living abroad, and our favorite pop divas. He picked up the tab, we kissed goodnight, and he never texted me back. A few months later, Dr. Amnesia hits me up on Grindr. We exchange photos. And he invites me over to bone. Was he playing dumb? I go to his place. After a few rounds of fun and pillow talk, he suggests grabbing dinner. He takes me to his favorite ramen spot. We talk about being military brats, living abroad, and our favorite pop divas. Either he really doesn’t remember me or he thinks I don’t remember him. He picks up the tab, says he wants to see me again, and asks for my number.
“It’s already in your phone,” I said. “We’ve met before.”
Unswayed, I take his number and call his cell. My name pops up. I never hear from him again.
3. The Family Guy
Like most gays, I wasted a lot of time lusting after straight boys. After learning my lesson after multiple heartbreaks, I vowed to date only out, gay dudes. I met The Family Guy at the gym. We shared our coming out stories over smoothies at a cafe nearby. After a few dates and hookups, he told me he’s married…to a woman…for 15 years… and has three children—but she supports him having a side piece.
Do I look like coleslaw?
4. Mr. Shy Guy
So I’m posted up at the club with a buddy and a cute guy keeps staring at me. Every thirty seconds, he turns around and flashes a nervous smile. After I wink at him, he comes over. “It’s my first time approaching a guy,” he said. “I’m really nervous and don’t know what to say.” I suggest he introduce himself and ask my name. He does. He’s recently moved to NYC from the Philippines and recently out of the closet.
“I’m not sure what to say next,” he said. I suggest he ask for my number. He does. Two days later, we agree to meet for coffee. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I was really drunk that night. I’m actually not interested. Sorry.”
5. The Narcissist
We cruised each other at the gym for weeks before I approached him and asked him out. We meet for a few dinners and sexual encounters before he asks me if I was “into anything kinky” while we’re hanging at his place. I had just turned 32 and had been in NYC long enough and been on this dating merry-go-round even longer. “Why don’t you just tell me what’s on your mind?” He pulls out his laptop and pulls up PornHub. I’m thinking, “No problem. We can watch some adult content while we get it on.” He pulls up a video of himself in a gang bang on a website I used to frequent as a teen. “Can we watch me?”
He watched me leave, but I went home and found the same video on my external hard drive and realized why he looked so familiar.
6. The Matinee Manspreader
Is it me or are theater seats made for members of the Lollipop Guild? While sitting next to a fellow patron, I did my best to not man spread, but you know…balls. Our legs touched a few times. I eventually do like The Cranberry’s and let it linger. He didn’t mind. Fast forward to our knees touching, our hands caressing, and making out at the urinal during intermission. “Put your number in my phone,” he said.
As we return to our seats, he adds, “Be careful. That’s my husband on my other side.”
7. The Wallflower
The film adaptation of my favorite book, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, came out in 2012. One of my favorite lines from the book is, “We accept the love we think we deserve.” Is it me or do so many gaymen turn away love because they think themselves unworthy? I met The Wallflower on, you guessed it, Grindr. After getting dirty, we get dinner and things are off to a great start. Two weeks later, The Wallflower ends it. ” You’ve been more than great and everything I’ve wanted in a partner,” he said. “But I’m not ready for your love.”
A few weeks later, I stumble upon his profile: “Seeking a LTR.”
8. Carlos Solis
I used to love how Gabrielle Solis’ (Eva Longoria) husband Carlos on Desperate Housewives was a bit jealous and slightly controlling. So caring and masc, right? I met a guy we’ll call Carlos at a bar in Chelsea. After a few drinks and kisses on the dance floor, he hailed me a cab, opened the door, and texted me to see if I made it home safely. A month later, Carlos’ true colors came shining through, but not beautiful like a rainbow. He demanded to know where I was, who I was with, if I had slept with any of them, and why he wasn’t invited. When I called it off, he asked me to mail him the clothes he let me borrow when I stayed at his place before a job interview. I had itching powder sewn into the pants and hooked up with his best friend. Gabby would have done that.
9. Mr. Party Rock Anthem
John, we’ll call him, was a high school history teacher in his 30s. We met at Trader Joe’s. A week into our courting, John texted me at 11pm on a Wednesday night to see what I was up to. “Do you like to party?” he asked. “Sure. But it’s a school night!” I cheekily replied. “YOLO,” he said. So, I went over. I was confused when I arrived and didn’t find a party, so we just started to hook up. He tells me to lie on my back and he poured what looked like powdered sugar on my chest. “What’s that?” I asked. “You said you like to party.”
I showered and shuffled out of there faster than you could say “Stop and Frisk.
10. Mr. Bartender
He smiled at me while we picked up our prescriptions at Duane Reade on a Saturday morning. I made a move, got his number, and we started texting right away. I invited him over to my apartment. We mostly talked, drank orange juice, and dry humped. He eventually told me he’s HIV positive. I told him that was fine with me. “It’s hard to meet guys who are educated about this,” he said with tears building in his eyes. We eventually say goodbye and he invites me to his bar that evening. I go with a friend. He gives us drinks. I kiss him goodnight. For the rest of the week, he doesn’t respond to my texts. “Maybe he lost his phone, it broke, he got run over by a reindeer,” my mind races. My friend convinces me to go back to his bar. He greets me at the counter like I’m any other customer and he serves me a drink. I sip it slowly, as rage runs through my veins for 15 minutes before I decide I’ve tortured myself enough.
“I’m sorry. I’m confused,” I tell him. “Did I do something wrong?” He replies, “I’m seeing someone. Sorry about that. Can I get you another drink?”
As I reflect on my disastrous decade of dating, I wonder” What’s the lesson in all of this. What was the universe trying to teach me? What have I learned? In a sense, I think the act of reflection is the lesson. I needed to learn to reflect—on my values, on my self-worth, on my self-esteem, on my race, on my masculinity, on my desires, on me. While yes, a lot of people play games, but perhaps it was me who was playing myself because I didn’t know myself as well as I thought I did.
As Mary J sings in “No More Drama,” “maybe I liked the stress, because I was young and restless.”
But that was long ago, and in 2020, I don’t want to cry no ‘mo.
Lamar Dawson is a pop culture junkie living in New York City. Follow him on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter @dirrtykingofpop.
