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MISC

My Boomer Lesbian Journey — Inspiration

My Boomer Lesbian Journey — Inspiration
Sure youth is great. Our culture celebrates youth both straight and queer. In lesbian land, the liberty that younger women experience, their events and celebrations take place everywhere now. At that age, in my life, there was nothing public going on. And my life was shaped by that experience in so many ways.

But I’m a boomer. No getting around it. My years alive on this planet are a real thing while the rest of me isn’t sure age means anything anymore. I’ve been on the road off and on with my camper van and The Gay Girl Love Tour for over a year now. The Love Tour is my way of helping lesbians change the way they date and find that great soul mate experience. It’s also been my own personal pilgrimage in lessons about life and spirit.

I’ve logged about 40,000 miles, done over 20 workshops in as any cities and seen a lot of the USA. I’ve learned to pack lighter, live with less, deal with long stretches of solitude while driving thousands of miles, come up with ways to stay more fit and gain less weight from all of it and deepened my spiritual practices. It was that or just go plain nuts. This has not been the joy ride I anticipated but its been so much more actually.

That’s about both the and what happens to a body as it grows older. Life requires more attention. Living well requires awareness and the Love Tour has been a teacher of some of the newest deeper truths I’ve acquired as a boomer.

I left Maine on September 4th to head to Guerneville, CA for Women’s Weekend 2.0 Festival. I arrived 8 days later exhausted and emotionally spent from spending too much time feasting on a fear ball in my stomach. Look even at my age, I’m still often a ball of doubt and fear that creates a festival of confusion in my emotions.

Add that to one of our national past times, the sport of comparison, and anyone can end up feeling like a loser. There are so many lessons in life and once in a while I think I’ve really conquered a few of them. Then life shows up to laugh WITH me as I realize that I’m always learning again just more deeply.

I made it to Guerneville and survived an exhausting weekend of meeting women, remembering names, holding emotions in check along with dancing, eating, drinking and hanging out with a few hundred mostly boomer lesbians at a great musical and comedy event in the redwoods of Northern California.

Today as I write, I’m sitting in Woodcat Cafe in Echo Park in Los Angeles. I drove down to this area yesterday from San Francisco to attend a special event put on by my friend Kute Blackson. The 100 plus beautiful people who attended were mostly younger and definitely straight but it was delightful to see a few wise women and men at this sweet spiritual celebration of life. A bliss-filled party with an intention to infuse love into our beings through dance and celebration. I left feeling changed and open hearted in a new way. Hot, cramped, dripping sweat dancing went on for hours. I stayed until I just couldn’t keep my eyes open and left as those 20 and 30 somethings started to really crank up their celebration. I was full. I hope they left feeling as full.

I spent the night in my camper van parked on Sunset Boulevard just a few yards away from Kute’s front door. It was the perfect completion to a perfect day. I entered into my camper van not seeing it as less, small or a sign of what hasn’t worked out in my life but as the entry into a new spiritual understanding of both my existence and that of all of us. Young, old, wise, foolish, funny, serious, able, other abled and the gifts of life that pass through our hands often with out us ever really understanding the gift.

This morning I got up, put the van in drive and looked for a coffee shop and here I am sitting at Woodcat Coffee Bar. A brand new little coffee shop with enthusiastic owners. A couple in their 30s who have put their all into creating their dream. I get it. Every last penny and ounce of energy; skipping play, fun and friends for months on end they have finally opened up and now hope for the best. And I certainly wish it for them.

I’m constantly meeting dreamers, schemers and creatives who want to make a difference. And being a boomer lesbian, I meet many women like myself. So along with Kute, the Woodcat Coffee Shop owners Saadat and Janine Awan, I’ve connected with one of my own and found a similiar spirit and soul in Robin Lowey of Epochalips.com. She’s on a mission to reach lesbians over 40 with an online magazine that speaks to us and makes us feel like we’ve come home.

I certainly found it to be that. The women that write for her are smart and experienced about life. And Robin is slowly and effectively building a following of writers and readers. I met Robin at a party that was at Meredith Baxter’s house. That Meredith we knew as Elise Keaton in Family Ties, who came out a few years back and is now married to her partner Nancy and is still making a name as an accomplished actor.

I was invited to attend by my friend Anne Bennett while in California earlier this summer with the Gay Girl Love Tour. Now as a girl from Maine, of course I thought, damn this will be fun. And yes it was. I met the hosts and enjoyed great live music, a yummy atmosphere and being surrounded by a crowd of lovely women.

I met Robin at this event. The live music was off the charts great for dancing but nobody was. Robin was standing there… tall, blonde and very good looking. She turned, looked at me and said, why isn’t anyone dancing? Well that was the invitation I needed. I said, well hell let’s dance. And off we went…

It’s a funny juxtaposition to the party I attended in LA last night. There, the dancing was off the chart. Everyone came expecting to have a night of dancing and release orchestrated by Kute. it was fun, rowdy and full of easy connection and joy. And let me add, there was no alcohol served at last night’s event. And then, here are Robin and I, the only women dancing at this beautiful party. Oh well, it was everyone else’s loss; Robin and I agreed on that. We upped our fun factor by shaking our booties.

I think that’s part of the spirit of being an entrepreneur and a creative person. Step outside the box. Everyone else can sit around in their box but damn that’s no fun and I’m too old to play safe all the time.

And that’s Robin to a tee. She’s about living life outside the box.

Robin’s own journey as it continues to play out has contained the usual twists and turns of the roller coaster of life. She started out living the dream we’ve all been raised to go after… she was was married to a lovely woman for 27 years. Two adorable kids–beautiful home–great career–the whole package. Suddenly at age 50 everything changed. Her marriage broke up, she got laid off and then sold their home. Her kids are mostly grown. She had no choice but to completely start over. This is an echo of my own life story and one reason why I feel so easily connected to Robin.

Now I’ll also add she’s a surfer. And pretty good at it too. It’s her spiritual practice and the place she goes to find peace and connection with what’s good about life.

She literally had no idea who she was outside of being a mother, long term partner, and career woman. In order to survive, she needed to focus on something new. She wanted to give back, and find her community again.

As I got to know her and we talked about epochalips.com, she said…”Smart Lesbian Commentary was the one thing I couldn’t NOT do. It just burst out of me! All of a sudden it was obvious.”

She realized she had connections with many interesting lesbians from all different walks of life including celebrities, activists, business women, adventurers, athletes, musicians, psychologists, comedians, filmmakers, artists and literary types.

So she started to call on them to contribute their stories. She went on a grassroots with booths at every festival and pride event she could get into for miles around. One by one, she built her email list to nearly 5000 names and started to deliver a monthly eMagazine that highlights everything new on the site. She’s cultivated a major local, national and international following. And she adds more interesting writers every day.

So what’s the point of her story versus my story versus the Millenials I’ve been hanging out with lately. With all the changes going on, boomer women are still marginalized and it takes courage to stand up and say, “dammit, I’m not taking this anymore. I’m doing something to make a difference because its needed!”

As we age we have choices. We can think life is handing us a shit sandwich, give up and take it or we can say age is just a number. As boomer lesbians we are no less able to change the world than that room full of raging 30 years olds I spent the night dancing with at Kute’s party.

In the words of Mary Oliver… What oh what are you going to do with your one wild and precious life? Create something, love it, grow it and BE the change you want to see in the world.

Robin inspires me. Kute inspires me. Saadat and Janine inspire me. Who inspires you?

www.huffingtonpost.com/mary-gorham-malia/my-boomer-lesbian-journey_b_5863280.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices

MISC

Man Who Has 100 Orgasms Per Day Is Now “Completely Disgusted” By Ejaculation

Man Who Has 100 Orgasms Per Day Is Now “Completely Disgusted” By Ejaculation

Screen Shot 2014-09-23 at 11.29.04 AMPersistent Genital Arousal Syndrome is apparently an actual medical condition, and even though it sounds like great fun for everyone involved, one 37-year-old man from Wisconsin says it’s ruining his life.

Dale Decker says he first realized he was suffering from PGAS in 2012 after he slipped a disk in his back and, as a result, had five orgasms in the car on the way to the hospital. Since then, Decker claims the condition has given him 100 orgasms per day, none of which are satisfying in the least.

Decker tells Barcroft TV that he’s “completely disgusted” by his abundance of orgasms, and that it makes him “never want to have another” as long as he lives. “There’s nothing pleasurable about it because even though it might feel physically good — you’re completely disgusted by what’s going on.”

Though he doesn’t appear to be suffering from suicidal tendencies, he adds that “suicide is always a concern when people suffer from this condition — they feel like there’s no other way to escape it.”

The condition is apparently also tricky to hide, which has left Decker unemployed as a result. “If you’re in public, if you’re in front of kids — it’s disgusting and it can break you real fast,” he said. “It happened to me at the grocery store and when it was over, there were around 150 people looking straight at me — why would I leave the house when something like this can happen?”

He describes another story, which may or may not have (?) happened to him:

“Imagine being on your knees at your father’s funeral beside his casket, saying goodbye to him — and then you have nine orgasms right there while your whole family is standing behind you.”

In the interview below, Decker and his wife explain how the condition has put a strain on their marriage. According to them, there doesn’t appear to be an available solution for PGAS yet.

Check it out below (and FYI, yes, Dale is having several orgasms in the clip):

Queerty Editor

feedproxy.google.com/~r/queerty2/~3/jZOMufJbCCU/man-who-has-100-orgasms-per-day-is-now-completely-disgusted-by-ejaculation-20140923

MISC

High School Football Player Gives Rousing Motivational Speech, Says To 'Keep Smiling' – VIDEO

High School Football Player Gives Rousing Motivational Speech, Says To 'Keep Smiling' – VIDEO

Football

High school running back Apollos Hester has been making headlines with a post-game interview he gave to a local news station in East View, Texas that quickly turned into a motivational speech on the importance of believing in yourself and never giving up. Says Hester,

“It’s an awesome feeling when you truly believe that you’re going to be successful. Regardless of the situation, regardless of the scoreboard, you’re going to be successful because you put in all the time, all the effort, all the hard work and you know that it’s going to pay off…win or lose we realized we’re going to be all right…you can do anything you put your mind to, never give up on your dreams, keep smiling, no matter what you’re going through.”

Watch the high energy video, AFTER THE JUMP…


Sean Mandell

www.towleroad.com/2014/09/high-school-football-player-gives-rousing-motivational-speech-says-to-keep-smiling-video.html

MISC

'The Roosevelts:' Ken Burns Closets Eleanor, Disappears FDR's Gay Sex-Entrapment Scandal in the Navy

'The Roosevelts:' Ken Burns Closets Eleanor, Disappears FDR's Gay Sex-Entrapment Scandal in the Navy
I enjoyed watching Ken Burns’ The Roosevelts: An Intimate History last week, keeping in mind that these PBS documentary series are usually a heavy bit of American myth-making, sanitizing some facts in offering a particular version of history. Still, there are a few things just too glaring to hide or treat with discretion in 2014, though Burns arrogantly thinks he can.

How could we not hear about the scandalous anti-gay witch hunt beginning in 1919 in Newport overseen by then assistant secretary of the Navy, Franklin Delano Roosevelt? As detailed in historian John Loughery’s 1998 book The Other Side of Silence, Navy sailors were recruited to entrap other men to have sex with them, with the undercover “operatives” engaging in sex to orgasmic completion — oral, and yes, some anal — with the men they entrapped, and logging all of this in their own reports.

At first, the sting focused on men in the Navy, in an attempt to clean up what was seen as “moral conditions” at the Newport base, but it soon expanded to the civilian population in Newport and resulted in the arrests and sometimes imprisonment of 17 sailors and a prominent Episcopal Navy chaplain. When the methods of the witch hunt became known there were headlines across the country, legal inquires and a hearing and denouncement from a subcommittee of the Senate Committee on Naval Affairs. The Senate report called FDR’s behavior “reprehensible,” and stated that the actions “violated the code of the American citizen and ignored the rights of every American boy who enlisted in the navy to fight for his country.” The New York Times went with the headline, “LAY NAVY SCANDAL TO F. D. ROOSEVELT, DETAILS ARE UNPRINTABLE.”

And what happened to any discussion of career diplomat Sumner Welles, FDR’s right-hand man and Under Secretary of State, considered one of the most influential global strategists of the 20th century? He was FDR’s school chum — and page boy at Eleanor and FDR’s wedding — and he was also bisexual and quite sexually active, something about which FDR apparently looked the other way. Eventually, though, Roosevelt reluctantly accepted his resignation in 1937 after one of Welles’s rivals in the state department seized upon information that Welles had sex with two black men, Pullman porters on the same train that carried the president from the House Speaker’s funeral in Alabama, and threatened to provide the details to a GOP Senate enemy unless Roosevelt dumped him. Surely, this downfall of a close aide and lifelong friend, and the reasons why he fell, should have a place in something described as “an intimate history.”

It’s long been discussed that Eleanor Roosevelt had a close and deep relationship with the Associated Press reporter, Lorena Hickok, with whom she went on a road trip, alone, across the country, and who even had a room in the White House for a time — and those facts are included in the series. Also included is the fact that Eleanor had friends and colleagues with whom she organized on women’s issues who were lesbians, some of them in deeply committed relationships.

But the way Burns treats all of this is to discuss Eleanor and Hickok as close and intimate “friends” — he has Doris Kearns Goodwin telling us Hickok was “in love” with Eleanor, almost as if it was one-sided — but never using the “L” word, or even raising the possibility of sex, seeming to view that as sleazy. Burns even admitted as much, in an answer to a question in a talk at the Television Critics Association in July:

I assume when you say a relationship you are assuming that there was a sexual relationship between Eleanor Roosevelt and Lorena Hickok. We have no evidence whatsoever of that, and none of the historians and experts believe it. This is an intimate [look at the Roosevelts] not a tabloid and we just don’t know. … We have to be very careful because sometimes we want to read into things that aren’t there.

First off, why is it “tabloid” rather than “intimate” to speak of the possibility of a sexual relationship between two women? Burns, after all, had no problem discussing, quite extensively, FDR’s sexual affair with Eleanor’s secretary Lucy Mercer.

Secondly, it’s factually incorrect to state that “none of the historians and experts believe it.” That depends on the historians with whom one consults, and, apparently what gender they are. Noted scholars such as Blanche Wiesen Cook — whom Burns interviewed extensively in the documentary series, but curiously not about this issue — as well as Leila J. Rupp, and Lilian Faderman, have discussed and documented what they concluded was a deeply passionate, physical relationship, in which Roosevelt and Hickok wrote one another about sleeping in bed together while holding one another in their arms, and kissing on the mouth.

Faderman told Carrie Maxwell at the Windy City Times, “If the documentary does deal with FDR’s extramarital relationship with Lucy Mercer then it’s inexcusable that he didn’t deal with Eleanor’s extramarital relationships particularly with Lorena Hickok.”

Burns needn’t have definitively decided whether Eleanor Roosevelt was bisexual or had sexual relationships with women or not. But he surely could have had an interesting discussion, with various points of view. Such discussions shed important light on the lives of these prominent American figures and the treatment of homosexuality in our history.

Certainly, for FDR to have once overseen an anti-gay witch hunt only to later be married to a woman who may have had an affair with another woman — right in the White House itself — is interesting, as is his having had an aide, a lifelong friend, who was bisexual and whose resignation he reluctantly accepted over his sex with men. But more so, what did all of this mean about how this powerful and great president, and his enormously influential wife, treated an issue that, shortly after World War II, and later in the ’60s, would explode further in the American consciousness?

As long as Burns saw some historical facts and mysteries as too “tabloid” to broach, however, those important questions weren’t about to be raised.

www.huffingtonpost.com/michelangelo-signorile/the-roosevelts-ken-burns_b_5866998.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices

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