Gay Men: What Is Your New Year's Contribution?
January is often the month when many of us feverishly start to fulfill or come up with what we want to change in our own lives in the coming year. We become a nation of wide-eyed idealists, hell-bent on doing more, becoming more and repairing the so-called chinks in our armor.

While I’m certainly all for personal growth and developing ourselves as gay men (and humans), it’s super easy to get sucked into that rat race, becoming a human doing rather than a human being.

I adore this quip from Lily Tomlin:

“The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.”

So, let’s take a moment and shift our mindsets. As gay men, our own “resolutions” and plans for improvement vary widely. Some want to lose weight and get “fit”, while others want to make it big, landing that corner office or singing in the spotlight on Broadway. Others still hope to take adventures cross-country or overseas, soaking up all life has to offer. Some hope for a new relationship, a revitalized relationship, the means to take care of an ailing parents, or completely starting anew.

Step back, for a moment, from this dizzying game of success. The rat race. The rapid, doing, doing, doing that often leaves us exhausted and knocks our priorities out of whack. Slow down. Take a deep breath in and cleansing breath out.

Now, step into this idea of contribution. Contribution is all about what you are bringing to the table of humanity.

In the book “The Art of Possibility”, which I highly recommend, the authors note that when we live from a place of contribution, we escape the seduction of comparison and the black and white thinking of “failure” and “success.”

Imagine waking up each morning and asking yourself: How will I be a contribution today? How will I be a gift to others? This shift in thinking gets me so excited, not only for my personal life, but for what all of us can create, next year, in our own community.

What if, as gay men, we stepped into the new year with this insatiable thirst for contribution to the gay men around us?

How will you bring more light into our community in 2015? What small gestures can you take or make to help enrich the lives of the gay men around you? What would you say? What would you do?

I firmly believe that gay men are uniquely gifted with being the people we are. We are here to shed some light for the rest of humanity about what it means to be human. For me, this includes inserting graciousness where there is little. Forgiving, when rage is more popular or seems fitting. Being gentle when the crowd is hoping for revenge. Being thoughtful when it’s often easy to stay wrapped in our patterns of thoughtlessness.

As we all head into 2015, I want every gay man to think about the contribution he can be to his community, family, friends, and to the larger LGBTQ community. How will you be of service? This isn’t limited to “community service,” which we often put into an “other” category.

Wake up with that question: How will I be a contribution today, in every area of my life?

www.huffingtonpost.com/joshhersh/what-is-your-new-years-contribution_b_6396074.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices

Newspaper Tweets, Deletes Aaron Rodgers Penis Joke Just In Time For Everyone To Take A Screen-Shot

The St. Paul Pioneer Press ran a story Tuesday about the good luck charm of Packers’ quarterback Aaron Rodgers — the beard of a sideline technician. Rodgers is known to give it a little yank for good luck during games. OK, fun little fluff piece.

But whoever is running the Press’ Twitter feed didn’t think the story was quite fun enough, and went ahead and posted this gem:

The post was quickly deleted, and the Press offered blogger Romanesko this defense:

If anyone lost their job over the Tweet, be sure to get in touch with us. There’s got to be a place for you at Queerty.

h/t: Deadspin

Dan Tracer

feedproxy.google.com/~r/queerty2/~3/WpbuIqzKc7w/newspaper-tweets-deletes-aaron-rodgers-penis-joke-just-in-time-for-everyone-to-take-a-screen-shot-20141231

Dan Savage: Prosecute Transgender Teen Leelah Alcorn's Parents for Abuse

Andy Towle

www.towleroad.com/2014/12/savagealcorn.html

Laws Proposed to Protect Trans Youth As Leelah Alcorn's Death Rallies Thousands

Thousands have been called to action after the death of a transgender teenager.

read more

Dawn Ennis

www.advocate.com/politics/transgender/2014/12/31/leelah-alcorn-rallies-thousands-laws-proposed-protect-trans-youth

Film Review: <i>Two Mothers</i> or 'How Do Lesbian Birds Make Babies?'

“How do lesbian birds make babies?”

“They don’t.”

“Are you sure?”

Such is the conversation between Katja (Sabine Wolf) and Isa (Karina Plachetka), two middleclass German women in their late 30s who are happily wed and now want to go one step further: motherhood.

Anne Zohra Berrached’s Two Mothers (Zwei Mütter) engagingly chronicles the duo’s obstacle-strewn journey, which is based upon the actual experiences of several lesbian couples identified in the end credits. Adding to the reality is the casting of many of the subsidiary characters (doctors, sperm donors, a pharmacist) with their real life counterparts. For example, Dr. Marten Van Santen is portrayed by Dr. Marten Van Santen, and very convincing he is.

Commencing in the first few minutes with tender lovemaking, the film quickly changes focus and concentrates on Isa’s fruitless phone calls to various sperm banks everywhere from Munich to Hamburg. Apparently, while Germany has sanctioned “registered life partnerships” for same-sex couples (Eingetragene Lebenspartnerschaft) since 2001, full marital unions have still not been legalized. Although approaching an evenhandedness in most areas, some rights are still not completely in the grasp of gay couples. So it is with artificial insemination for the LGBTQ crowd, which the screenplay claims is only administered by five to six doctors across the country. After locating an MD who will service lesbians, the not-affluent Katja and Isa discover they must also meet financial requirements that do not apply to heterosexual couples.

Finally, an amenable physician is found, and the costly treatments begin. Eleven inseminations and many months later, the relentless Isa, who will be the birth mother, is still barren, but she’s not the only one distraught. Increasingly, Katja is stressing out about how both the financial and emotional costs of this tot-trek are affecting their once perfect relationship. For example, in the kitchen, perusing Isa’s shopping bag, she notices over a half dozen pregnancy tests and only one cucumber.

Isa finally does come around, acknowledging the economics of their situation. Forced to entertain a less certain fertility route, she enters an apothecary and states, “I’m looking for something that can inject sperm into the vagina.” The woman at the counter showcases several syringes and then recommends that Isa see a veterinarian.

Instead, a home impregnation kit is purchased, and the couple sign onto a sperm donator web site. Now the interviews begin with a motley group of candidates, some who desire to directly ejaculate into Isa as opposed to into a jar. Worse, some of the more desirable applicants insist on becoming part of the forthcoming child’s life if one of their spermatozoa unites with an egg of Isa’s.

“I want to be the daddy,” Katja murmurs. Stepping into Ingmar Bergman territory, Katja begins withdrawing. What role will she play if Isa is the mother and a man shows up every once in awhile claiming to be the father? And what about the vacations she and Isa used to take — and the hugging and loving that are deteriorating a bit with Isa’s ascent/descent into motherhood.

Splendidly acted, Two Mothers is a brisk 75-minute, matter-of-fact look into the inevitable risks of complete assimilation into what was once considered a “heterosexual” lifestyle. With marriage comes the possibility of divorce. With children comes the possibility of an ebbing intimateness. Yes, there are also the joys, the Legos, the hugs, the anniversaries, and the family trips to the Black Forest and Disneyland Paris, but that would be another film.

(Available January 13th on DVD. Available for preorder.)

www.huffingtonpost.com/brandon-judell/how-do-lesbian-birds-make-babies_b_6396978.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices

Matt Barber: 'Non-Discrimination Policies Are Discriminatory Against Christians'

Anthony Costello

www.towleroad.com/2014/12/matt-barber-non-discrimination-policies-are-discriminatory-against-christians.html