‘Vision Board: Mr. Right’

A2N0Y6A posted a photo:

This photograph i had shot earlier this year in Downtown Seattle and had titled it ‘Date Night’. It was shot right before a date with one of the gentlemen i’ve dated in 2019 thus far.

Tonight after thinking about a brief encounter with a very handsome Gentleman from London (Explained on my previous post this AM), i began thinking about what would be the ‘Perfect Guy’ for me in all honesty. I didn’t go out shooting new works last night and it’s now a slow Saturday morning in Downtown Seattle, perhaps tonight i’ll get out there.

Whenever i think about this topic i usually tend to view a lot of very handsome hunks here in Flickrland, there’s no shortage of them. Men with muscles, men in suits, men who are perhaps the standard definition of ‘hot’, people who could easily score modelling contracts are the ones i seem to like as most folks do.

Reality is though, i don’t have a physical standard of beauty that defines men i date. I’m more attracted to personality to be completely honest. I don’t care about money, i have very little and life is often tough because of it. I don’t care about a guy who is perfect, i’m disabled and struggle sometimes being bipolar although these days it’s much better finally having the right help and right medication.

I like men who are real, genuine people. I like men who can speak to me freely, share their feelings and struggles with me should they want to and need someone to open up to. I like men who are sincere, genuinely nice people. I dated a guy who intentionally stepped on an insect outdoors and then joked about kicking a bird earlier this year which still hurts my heart. That absolutely is NOT the kind of person i want to be with and big surprise, that didn’t work out.

I love all people, i can’t date a racist or bigot in any form. I couldn’t be with someone who’s trying to convert me to some faith i don’t have and equally i couldn’t date someone who is a complete a-hole belittling others for having faith themselves. That’s something i’ve encountered before which seems highly ironic given they are asking for the freedom not to have faith and then judging others who have it in a blanket way which is equally as absurd as religious zealots demanding we all believe something in the same way they do.

I need a man who is honest, i can’t stand dating people who are shady and just weird because they aren’t honest with anyone including themselves, i’ve also dealt with that in very short relationships. It was a HUGE turn off for me, makes no difference how handsome they are… If i can’t respect them and trust them as much as i need to, I’m not willing to be intimate which i think is fair and healthy on my end.

I want a guy who cares… someone who is willing to go with me to medical appointments i have that sometimes are serious or difficult for me. I have Marfan Syndrome and each year i have to have heart tests as well as tests on my lungs for a ton of nodules they’ve found to ensure they aren’t growing or spreading. So far i’m OK but it sucks going through that kind of stress alone, guys i’ve dated largely just care about me naked and not as much about my health overall which sucks. I’ve not had a serious lung collapse in years but it’s an ever present possibility i live with 24/7. It would be nice to know the next time it happens the guy in my life would actually be there when i’m having chest tubes placed to save my life.

I also need someone who understands my limitations. I don’t really like large crowds, i like smaller intimate settings better and sometimes i struggle with these things. It’s part of the mental health aspect of my disabilities. I can’t be with someone who expects or desires things from me i’m not able to do and who is understanding and still cares regardless… Perhaps someone else like me in these ways would be a good fit.

So, i know he’s out there and someday i’ll find him. Until then though i thought i would try this ‘vision board’ thing i’ve heard about and never done but with a photo on Flickr.

This combined with throwing coins into a local fountain wishing for a nice boyfriend finally should help if either work in any capacity. Maybe both combined will result in a guy who i end up marrying someday which would be even better. 🙂

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www.flickr.com/photos/a2n0y6a/49038041626/