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Cheering for LGBT Families
November is a time to be together, for celebration and to be thankful. Unfortunately, for the many youth and young adults who have no family to celebrate with, it can be a time of sadness and loneliness.
HRC.org
www.hrc.org/blog/entry/cheering-for-lgbt-families?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss-feed
An Ex-Gay Therapist Was No Match For This Amazing Harvard Law School Student
Stories don’t usually start with, “Harvard University outed me.” This one does. When Scott Blair took the LSATs and checked a box on his Harvard application that he was gay, the university gay law student group called his mother’s house. She asked the reason for the call, and they told her, “Well, he’s gay and applied and we’d really like him to come.”
She confronted Scott about the call in the car soon thereafter. “Did you save the contact information?” he appropriately asked her. “No, I was hoping you were lying to them to get into a better law school,” she replied. The time had come to be totally honest, and Scott told her that no, he wasn’t lying.
“I almost want to drive this car into a tree,” said Scott’s mother. “Can you let me out of the car first and then you can go ahead?” he answered like a true lawyer-to-be.
His parents ended up joining a “Parents and Friend of Ex-Gays” group in New Jersey, even though Scott was comfortable with who he is. “That is the opposite of the group you are supposed to be joining right now,” he tried reasoning with them.
But reason rarely matters in the unfortunate world of ex-gays. His parents asked Scott to meet with one of the group’s leaders, to “understand what the homosexual lifestyle is about.” To humor them, he agreed.
By the time Scott met with him, it was the summer of his second year of law school. Harvard Law School. Scott was already a clever young man, but armed with two years of legal argumentative training, the guy didn’t stand a chance.
First, the counselor started with the “there is no gay gene” schtick. “Every study that’s reported to find a gay gene has been authored by gays,” he continued.
Scotts response: “I have no idea what studies you’re talking about, but sexuality is very complex. Everything that humans do is very complex. All a gene does is control the expression of a protein. I would be extremely shocked if one gene could control anything like that.”
The counselor looked at Scott with confused bewilderment, never having received such an answer. His next move was to pry into Scott’s upbringing –specifically his parents’ divorce. He told Scott that many people who are angry at their mothers following a divorce are “turned off” to women.
“So if I was angry at my mother, that would make me gay, but you also asked me how I felt about my father. My guess is what you’re going to say is that if I was angry at my father, that would make me want to seek the company of other men.”
The ex-gay counselor said yes, that can be the case as well.
“Isn’t that sort of contradictory? No matter which one of my parents I hate — which I don’t — that made me gay.”
Next the counselor moved the conversation to the subject of homosexuality leading to the fall of civilizations, referencing the Roman Empire.
Except Scott is a history buff with a special interest in the Romans. “The Roman Empire only fell after it became Christian,” he told the therapist.
“Well they weren’t really Christian in any sense of the word that we would use today.”
“Saint Augustine was one of the most famous Christian theologists ever, and according to what you’re telling me, he wasn’t actually a Christian.”
“Well, you know, they were very Catholic.”
“You realize my mother is Catholic, right?”
“Well, thank you for your time,” he eventually told Scott, leaving the room.
In an interview with I’m From Driftwood, Scott reflects on the experience:
“It’s actually hard not to feel a little sorry for him, because he was gay before he ‘changed,’ and he claims that he realized homosexuality was immoral in the 80’s when he saw a lot of his friends dying from AIDS, and it’s hard to mock somebody for that.
“I would tell any kid who has to go see an ex-gay therapist or somebody that’s telling them that it’s wrong to be gay that they are smarter than somebody who thinks that and they are better than somebody who thinks that. And frankly any argument that somebody uses to support changing who you are is very, very bad. And very dumb. 30 second of thought will show you why it’s wrong.”
If we ever need a lawyer, we’re calling Scott.
See the whole interview here:
Dan Tracer
Beyonce Takes Over a High Rise Hotel in '7/11' Music Video: WATCH
The Queen Bey goes for the low budget “homemade video” route for her latest single “7/11” off the upcoming Platinum Edition of her self-titled album.
Watch, AFTER THE JUMP…
Kyler Geoffroy
www.towleroad.com/2014/11/beyonce-takes-over-a-high-rise-hotel-in-711-music-video-watch.html
Is The World Ready For A Gay Superhero?
Perhaps inspired by the casting of openly queer actor Ezra Miller in the title role of The Flash (set to hit the big screen in 2018), TheWrap asked a number of Hollywood’s out and prouds (plus a few allies) to weigh in on Hollywood’s recent LGBT superhero surge — both in terms of the characters themselves and the people who play them.
While the casting of gay, lesbian, or bisexual actors in superhero or villain roles is hardly novel (witness Wentworth Miller as Captain Cold on the TV version of The Flash, John Barrowman as Malcom Merlyn on Arrow, or Ian McKellen, Ellen Page, and Anna Paquin in the various X-Men movies), are audiences ready to accept an actual LGBT superhero?
Yes, says Modern Family‘s Eric Stonestreet. “If you you buy in that it’s possible there is such a thing as a superhero, you also have to buy into the fact that there are gay superheroes.”
NFL player and LGBT ally Chris Kluwe seconds that. “It shouldn’t necessarily even matter what the sexuality is of the superhero,” he says. “It should just be, like, oh, Superman wants to go home to his boyfriend — you know, Louis Lane — then that’s what Superman does.”
But have we been missing something? Have there been gay superheros all along? “Superheros are super gay,” said Queer Eye for the Straight Guy‘s Carson Kressley. “I mean — hello — Aquaman? I have so many Aquaman fantasies. Batman and Robin — the first same sex couple on television.”
As for the issue of acceptance, GLAAD’s director of entertainment media Matt Kane calls sexual and gender heterogeneity “a total non-issue” for the under-30 crowd. “We’re seeing a greater emphasis on diversity from [major comic publishers],” he told TheWrap. “I know Marvel has more female-led titles than they had before, not to mention quite a few LGBT characters.”
But as a lead? While out bi actor Andy Mientus will appear on the small screen version of The Flash as gay villain The Pied Piper, the question of whether or not openly gay good guy can drive a movie or TV remains to be seen. Still, Mientus feels that characters are moving in the right direction. “I feel really proud to take on this role,” he says. “I’m a villain and I’m powerful and I think it would be really cool if there’s some queer kid sitting at home watching me blow up cars and shit, while knowing that I am who I am in my personal life and that the character is out and happy.”
Watch more stars sounding off on the topic:
Winston Gieseke
feedproxy.google.com/~r/queerty2/~3/ylicE2KxQQY/is-the-world-ready-for-a-gay-superhero-20141122
PHOTOS: Jesus Days
Greg Reynolds’s photos have a quiet tension. As if something is just about to happen. And then it did.
Christopher Harrity
www.advocate.com/arts-entertainment/art/photography/2014/11/22/photos-jesus-days
The Amazing Parents Of Matthew Shepard Are Off To Russia To Win Hearts And Minds
For the past fifteen years, Dennis and Judy Shepard have transformed the senseless tragedy of their son Matthew’s death into fuel for passionate activism promoting gay rights and protections. Now, that journey is leading them to Russia, where they hope to share their story and talk with parents of LGBT youth.
They’ll first attend a screening of Matthew Shepard is a Friend of Mine at the Side by Side Film Festival in St. Petersburg. The festival stands in defiant opposition to local anti-gay sentiments by promoting LGBT tolerance, and has to skirt around the country’s “anti-propaganda” laws.
The film’s director, Michelle Jouse, said that by screening the film in the United States, “We’ve been preaching to the choir. It’s important to get our film seen by a community that didn’t have access to it.”
“Putin has made it so unhealthy to be LGBT or an ally,” Dennis Shepard told the AP. “It will take at least a generation to clean up the mess he’s made and get some acceptance.”
From St. Petersburg they’ll travel to Moscow and meet with gay youth and their families.
We wish them all a safe and productive trip.
Here’s the trailer for the film:
Dan Tracer
This 'Boy' I Met in Afghanistan Has a Secret
When you travel, sometimes it’s not so much about the place you travel to but the people you meet. And sometimes the people you meet can be a little… out there.
When I went to Afghanistan in February for the Afghan Ski Challenge, I was the “out there” one for my friends. But I have never met a woman like Candace Lau, a 28-year-old Chinese-Australian photographer who took a year off work to travel on the cheap through India, Pakistan, Afghanistan, and Iran.
For the full story, click here, but you must watch the video below. It (and she) is mesmerizing.
<i>Old Dogs & New Tricks</i>: The Oral History of a 'Gay' Web Series (Part 2)
Carrie and Co.
Whether you love HBO’s groundbreaking millennial hit or simply prefer to hate on it for its deference to conspicuous consumption, there’s no denying that Sex and the City was, and still remains, a cultural force to be reckoned with. Like All in the Family, Cheers, and Seinfeld, its influence on episodic ensemble comedy is so expansive that a writer of this stuff would be lying if he or she said the show had no bearing on their work. Leon Acord is not a liar. “An inspiration that I will cop to — and I hope it doesn’t get me sued, because we do get compared to the show a lot — is Sex and the City.”
He reveals, “I remember seeing the Sex and the City movie, and at the end of it, Samantha is turning 50 and decides to break up with her boyfriend and go back to her single life, and I remember watching the movie and having sort of this moment of, like, ‘Oh, that’s so sad. She’s 50 and single.’ And then I checked myself before I wrecked myself and went, ‘Wait a minute. You’re not far from 50. Do you think it’s sad?'”
Of course, things were slightly different for the actor/writer, who’d been in a committed relationship for 20-plus years, but as any gay man — hell, anybody, for that matter — over 40 and living in Los Angeles will tell you, age can be way more than just a number here. “In San Francisco gays of a certain age are still kind of marginalized, but there is this feeling of, ‘They’re the elders; they’re the history bearers,'” Acord explains. “There is a kind of respect for older gay men that does not exist in L.A. L.A doesn’t want to know from history — gay, straight, or otherwise.”
We talk a little bit about why he thinks this is, but in a town where an aging actress can be more terrifying than airborne Ebola, and where Greta Garbo is admired for her steadfast solution to the “problem,” it doesn’t take too much digging. Add to that the propensity of many gay men — or men in general — to espouse the young and pretty and you have the perfect storm — and the perfect setting for a series. “I wanted that to be the foundation of the show, that mentality that is, I think, so prevalent in the gay community, especially here in L.A.: ‘You’re 50; turn off the switch,'” he says.
Bruce L. Hart, who plays Nathan’s nemesis on Old Dogs & New Tricks, audience fave Nelson Van Eddy, says, “As an actor and as a producer, particularly of gay-themed projects, I was so grateful to see a show about men over 40.” A Michigan native who’s worked steadily in film and television since moving to Los Angeles in 2007, Hart knows a thing or two about the climate out here. “Most of the casting breakdowns for actors these days are for ages 20 to 30 — 30 being the old person,” he says. “Anybody over 40 is unheard of, or if there is a role, there’s not much to do, and I’ve certainly seen enough of those.” But he hadn’t seen anything like Old Dogs.
You Gotta Have Friends
“I knew I wanted to do an ensemble,” Acord says during our second chat. This time he’s adequately rested, decently caffeinated, and, even though the play still has several more shows left, much more at peace with how it’s all going. (“We’ve sort of ironed out the wrinkles — and believe me, there were a lot at first.”) I tell him my thoughts about his performance and how, as a gay man, I very much related to the stories that he and his three co-stars were sharing, and he responds with a polite but brief “thank you,” though I swear that this time he lets himself receive the compliment.
“If you cast it well, you have to work hard, but you don’t have to work as hard,” he tells me, referencing some crucial foresight employed during those early days in Indiana. “I knew that if I had characters whose personalities were opposed enough, I just had to get them together and their reactions to what each other says would make up for a lot in the comedy. So I started with, ‘OK, four characters. Who would they be? My character would be a talent agent. There’d be the hedonistic rock star. And we gotta have the guy who used to be a TV star but isn’t anymore.”
“Mid 50s actor at a career crossroads with heavy ups and downs.” That’s the description I get from David Pevsner for the character of Ross Stein, the perpetually conflicted former ’80s TV star, ever-loyal bud to Nathan, whom the actor has played since the Old Dogs pilot in 2011. Similar to Stein, Pevsner knows what it feels like to age in a town that’s allergic to the process, but with a résumé that includes gay classics like 2001’s The Fluffer and 2010’s Role/play, guest spots on some of the biggest shows of the past decade (Desperate Housewives, Grey’s Anatomy, Criminal Minds, Modern Family) and even a blockbuster film (this year’s 300: Rise of an Empire), he’s much more comfortable with his professional legacy — among other things.
“I’m a bit more free about my sexuality and physicality,” Pevsner tells me in his own endearingly no-nonsense way. (A totally NSFW Google search that may have lasted a little longer than I’d first planned will confirm this.) “Ross is a lot more private about that stuff,” he admits, referring to his closeted alter ego, who’s currently embroiled in a difficult separation from his husband, Neal (voiced by none other than Laurence Whiting in season 1, and then portrayed by Doug Spearman in Season 2, and by Parnell Damone Marcano in the Halloween special, WeHo Horror Story, and in Season 3 after Spearman had scheduling conflicts). “But we both deal with crap using humor, and we both really appreciate our friends.”
“I don’t think the show would be the success that it is without Pevsner as Ross,” Acord says confidently, even though things might have just as easily gone in a completely different direction. “Jim J. Bullock was interested in the part, and although he really wasn’t right for Ross, we were like, ‘OK, well, if he wants to do it, we’re not going to say no.'” After all, how could anyone refuse the iconic Too Close for Comfort star?
Fortunately for all parties involved, fate intervened. Acord recalls, “We were two weeks away from shooting the pilot when Jim J. got an offer to be a part of a road company for Hairspray. Pevsner had come in and auditioned for the parts of Muscles and Brad and was so good at each, but we went ‘another way,’ as they say. He was so good, though, that I didn’t even freak out when I got the call from Jim; I just immediately picked up the phone, called up Pevsner, told him the situation, and he said yes. And it was done and taken care of in like 15 minutes.”
As for locating the ideal candidate to bring sweet and sexy Muscles to life, well, that was as easy as setting up an Internet profile. “I did a listing on one of the online casting sites and met Jeffrey at a Starbucks in West Hollywood,” Acord reveals. “You know that scene [in season 2] where [Muscles] tops Bobby for the first time? I tell Jeffrey, ‘You don’t have to go all the way, but just show me in your face what expression you would use in that scene.’ And, God love him, he stood up, hiked up a leg and started humping the table on the sidewalk.”
Like Leon, and like the character he plays, Olson is a proud Midwesterner, a corn-fed Chicagoan who, in addition to acting steadily on stage and screen, is an award-winning body builder and physique model. And just in case you don’t hate him enough already, the guy’s also a certified anesthesiologist with his own cosmetic practice out here in L.A. “It’s insane how perfect he is,” says Acord. “He’s not exactly itching for work, but you don’t achieve a bio like Olson’s without learning to say yes more often than not in life — even if that means humping a Starbucks table.
I ask him if he’s ever felt insecure or unsure about performing some of Muscles’ more awkward bedroom encounters. “You always wonder how things are gonna look on film, and you might not be totally pleased with how your body is that particular day, especially when it’s gonna live forever,” he admits. “But I think you just have to put those thoughts aside, have fun, and ultimately get to work.”
“He is Muscles,” Leon says of his co-star. “He’s not nearly as naïve, but he’s just so nice and so genuine, and he certainly looks the part.” Olson will concede, “I think there’s a lot of me in him and vice versa. I’m a little more jaded than him. He’s [exuberant] like a 21-year-old, but his emotional intelligence is pretty high as far as what he expects from people and his values. I think it’s startling to him that all people don’t have each other’s best interests at heart, or that there are ulterior motives in the dating world.”
Sadly for Muscles, there most certainly are, and nobody knows this fact better than former one-hit wonder turned WeHo welcome wagon Mr. Brad King, played with unrepentant gusto by theater vet Curt Bonnem. A friend of Acord’s since they each appeared in the 2009 Theatre Asylum production Carved in Stone (ruminating on life, art, and the queer gaze as famous dandies Tennessee Williams, played by Bonnem, and Quentin Crisp, played by Acord, alongside Oscar Wilde and Truman Capote), Bonnem easily remembers his first meeting with the Old Dogs creator, then a producer on the project. “Since I was playing Tennessee Williams, I brought a rocks glass with a whisky lookalike — probably iced tea or something — as a prop, and Leon really loved that,” he recalls. “He just thought it was very funny.”
The actor considers that intro one of the main reasons he eventually landed the part of hard-partying Brad, but Acord credits another booze-infused encounter for truly allowing Bonnem to seal the deal. “Actually, before Jim J. came on, I’d talked to Curt about being Ross, but he was way more interested in Brad,” he says. “In fact, we had lunch, and he got sloshed on martinis, I think, just to show me how Bradlike he was.”
Bonnem says he “immediately clicked with Brad” after reading the script. “I just related to him a lot more; I loved his playfulness and his wild streak, and I loved the idea of his faux British accent,” he recalls, mentioning the Madonna-esque strategy his character employs to appear edgier and more desirable.
Now it’s hard to imagine anyone else besides Curt playing the ravenous King, but originally Acord had other ideas. “At first I’d imagined Patrick Bristow for Brad,” he says, referring to the TV vet, Groundlings alum, and Showgirls scene-stealer. “Patrick was one of the first people I actually let read [the pilot], and he was so complimentary about the subject matter and about the fact that we had the balls to do something like this, but he was nervous because he does a lot of children’s theater, so he wasn’t able to really commit.” (Bristow made it as far as the first table read before having to pull out of the project, although, much like Bullock, he has remained an avid supporter of the series, even appearing as Nathan’s shrink in Season 1.)
If we were to indulge in the Sex and the City comparison, Brad would be the Samantha of the group (to Ross’ Miranda, Muscles’ Charlotte, and of course Nathan’s Carrie, if for no other reason than the fact that Acord and Sarah Jessica Parker share the same enviable head of wild, flaxen curls). And just like Kim Catrall’s power publicist, he’s not afraid to get a little down and dirty in the bedroom. I ask Bonnem, who is openly straight, about filming some of the rocker’s more ribald scenes. “Those are never a piece of cake,” he replies, “but the bottom line is it’s acting, and it’s always fun to stretch and push your boundaries, especially with things that make you a little uncomfortable.”
To this day, Leon marvels at how successfully his beloved Old Dogs made the transition from his brain to the page to the screen. “Really the biggest changes are David Pevsner doesn’t want to wear argyle anymore, and I thought Muscles would be a brunette,” he laughs. He credits his “dream team” of actors for making this possible and once again wonders what he’s done karmically to deserve such luck. I tell him what he did was write a fantastic script, and whether or not he believes me, the comment does warrant a laugh.
Male Sex Workers Reveal The Truth About Their Lives And Clients
“The male body has become an object of consumption, and as a result the idea of men selling their bodies for sex is becoming increasingly acceptable,” co-editor John Scott says of the new book Male Sex Work and Society.
The book, edited by Australian academics Victor Minichiello and John Scott, takes an in-depth peek at the lives of male sex workers from all around the world, offering a fascinating and complex portrait of the men’s daily experiences, the criticisms they face from both mainstream society and the gay community, and the way they’ve utilized the internet to build their businesses.
Minichiello and Scott studied more than 250 men in countries ranging from China to Australia to Germany to Brazil. They say their hope is to break down the stereotype that all male sex workers are “deviants” or “crazy,” and instead show that many of them are smart, rational people who have made a conscious decision to enter the sex industry.
Here are just some of the things Minichiello and Scott uncovered in their research:
Prostitution is a young person’s game.
Most male sex workers skew younger, usually between 20 to 30 years old. They tend to describe themselves as “fit” and “good-looking.” A large number of them call themselves “Jake,” and more often than not have brown hair and brown eyes.
“To succeed, these young men need to be skilled negotiators, small business operators, engaging conversationalists and fit, active and appealing,” Scott says.
Most clients are older, married men.
Clients tend to be predominantly middle-aged, married men who identify as “straight.”
“I discovered a side of my personality that I didn’t know existed,” one male client revealed in an interview. “And I discovered that I love to be sexually dominated by another man. For a long time, I was in relationships with women and had what I would call ‘traditional sex’, but somehow with time this stopped working for me.”
The majority of male sex workers are entrepreneurs.
“Street workers” represent very small portion of male sex workers. Some of the men work in brothels, though this requires paying brothel owners a commission. As a result, many of the men work independently.
Technology has revolutionized the sex industry.
Many male sex workers locate clients through various online escort sites and hookup apps.
“Technology has seen a huge shift in both male and female sex industries,” Scott says. “Mobile phones allowed the escort market to expand and enabled greater flexibility; street work began to vanish and sex workers came to rural areas for the first time.”
Sex workers are healthier than you might think.
In Australia, at least. Records show that the rates of STDs among the country’s sex workers are significantly lower than among the country’s general population.
So there you have it, folks. Male sex workers. They’re just like you.
Male Sex Work and Society edited by Victor Minichiello and John Scott, is out now. Harrington Park Press. $50.
h/t: The Age
Related stories:
Fun Facts About Male Prostitution Through The Ages
WATCH: Tampa’s Gay Male Prostitutes Ready For RNC’s Closeted GOPs
If You’ve Ever Paid For A Prostitute, You’ll Probably Commit A Felony At Some Point
Graham Gremore is a columnist and contributor for Queerty and Life of the Law. Follow him on Facebook and Twitter.
Graham Gremore
Texas Official Says Equal Retirement Benefits For Gays Will Lead To 'Decline Of The Empire': AUDIO
A Galveston County, Texas, commissioner says offering retirement benefits to the same-sex spouses of employees could lead to “the decline of the empire.”
Republican County Commissioner Ken Clark (above) made the comments during a meeting of the Houston-Galveston Area Council (H-GAC). Clark serves on the board of the H-GAC, an intergovernmental planning agency made up of 13 member counties and more than member 100 cities in Southeast Texas.
The H-GAC recently received a notice from the IRS stating that, due to the U.S. Supreme Court’s 2013 decision striking down the federal Defense of Marriage Act, H-GAC must begin offering equal 401(k) benefits to same-sex couples who are legally married in other states, or lose the tax-qualified status of its retirement fund.
The H-GAC’s attorneys and a budget committee recommended complying with the IRS notice and offering retirement benefits to same-sex spouses legally married in other states. But Clark and others on the H-GAC board are apparently willing to risk losing the tax-qualified status — a decision that would affect the 401(k) plans of all 241 of its employees — to avoid offering the benefits, which they say would violate Texas’ constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage.
When the issue was discussed at an H-GAC board meeting on Oct. 21, Clark said:
“This is how the decline of the empire happens is we acquiesce to these sort of items little by little and it desensitizes us to it. At some point we’re gonna have to stand up and on this issue I choose to stand up to this because this is not, this is not appropriate for them to hold our employees hostage. And, if they choose to disqualify our plan, it will become a national issue. The American people, in my opinion, are not willing to let this come in incrementally the way this is happening, so that’s where I’m at on this issue.”
Listen to audio from the meeting here.
The scary thing is that a majority of Clark’s fellow H-GAC board members went along with him, agreeing to table the item until their November meeting. The anti-gay Houston Area Pastor Council, which is also fighting same-sex benefits in Houston, then distributed an email to its members, in which Clark wrote:
“If we, as freemen, do not draw the line here against the political correctness, moral decline, and government fiat in this country, our children will inherit the bonds of moral slavery. What will you say when they ask; What did you do? Why did you not stand? If you wish to stand and voice your opinion on this matter, you may attend the next meeting and do just that.”
Several members of the public spoke against same-sex retirement benefits at H-GAC’s Nov. 18 montly meeting, where the board announced it was again tabling the issue. Which prompted both the Houston Area Pastor Council and the anti-gay group Texas Values to declare a victory:
“Thankfully some leaders in the Houston-area are starting to recognize that they must follow Texas law on marriage,” said Jonathan Saenz, attorney and president of Texas Values. “That’s encouraging, but Houston Mayor Annise Parker still thinks she’s above the law, and her violations of federal and state law are doing more damage to the Houston people every day,” concluded Saenz.
H-GAC has until Dec.31 to comply with the new IRS policy or lose the tax-qualified status. Stay tuned.
John Wright
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