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STUDY: Gay Sex Helps Humans Bond and Survive
A new study indicates that same-sex relationships may play a crucial role in forming bonds that benefit humanity.
Daniel Reynolds
www.advocate.com/health/2014/11/26/study-gay-sex-helps-humans-bond-and-survive
Why You Should Care That Tim Cook and Michael Sam Are Gay
Have you heard the news that Apple CEO Tim Cook is gay? Are you thinking, “OK, was anybody asking?” or perhaps more pointedly, “Who gives a flying fuck?”? Then this blog post is for you!
First, I have two guesses about who you are:
How could I be so presumptuous? Actually, it’s easy:
I’m being snarky, I know. It’s just that I get frustrated when I hear people criticize public figures for making announcements about their sexuality with sentiments akin to “I didn’t ask, and I don’t care.” There was a whole lot of this when Michael Sam, the first openly gay player to be drafted by the NFL, came out prior to draft day.
To be fair, the media made a ridiculous spectacle out of this story. Even I got tired of hearing about whether he would get chosen by a team and what that might or might not reveal about the NFL, but that was the media’s doing, not Sam’s.
Which brings me to the reason I get so frustrated with people who feel that Sam and Cook didn’t need to make announcements about their sexuality. You see, there’s this thing that happens to gay folks who don’t fit the general stereotypes (i.e., the shaved-headed butch for women, and the dramatic, gesture-prone hairstylist or interior designer with a propensity for lilting Ss for men.) The thing that happens is that people assume we’re straight. I know because it happens to me, and I am neither particularly butch nor girly.
Which leads to my next question : If it happens to me, how often do you think it would’ve happened to a guy like Michael Sam? I can tell you how often: all the time. And each time it happened, Sam would’ve had to make a split-second decision to either correct the inaccuracy or keep quiet. My friend’s wife, who is a very feminine, Hilary Swank-looking lesbian, has to make this decision when her real-estate clients see the rock on her ring finger and assume that she has a husband at home. If she chooses to correct them, she might lose their business or face hostility, but if she chooses to keep quiet, things can get tricky.
Tricky how, you might ask? Well, imagine that you are conversing with someone and the person assumes that you live in a box. You do not, in fact, live in a box. You live in a house, but you don’t correct the person because, well, there are lots of people who don’t look kindly on houses, and besides, you had this same conversation yesterday with someone else, and you just don’t feel like doing it today. The next thing you know, the person begins asking you questions about the box you supposedly live in: Where did you get it? How do you like it? How long have you lived there? Do you and the box want to have kids? (OK, that last one only makes sense if the box is a husband, which it is in this analogy.)
So, while it may be true that you personally never asked whether Michael Sam was gay, the odds are that most people who looked at him would’ve assumed he was straight, which means that his options were to either come out or to live with droves of people presuming his heterosexuality. Can you imagine how many questions he’d have to answer about his box?
When I came out to my mother many years ago, she struggled with the news for a time. She was afraid for me, afraid of what I might face if I lived openly. At one point she told me that I ought to keep the details of my “personal life” to myself. My sexuality was my business, nobody else’s, she said.
In response, I asked her when was the last time she’d casually mentioned my father in a conversation. She did it all the time. “Nick and I went to the movies this weekend,” she might tell a co-worker on a Monday morning. Did she realize that she was talking about “her sexuality” every time she mentioned her husband? Of course not, because she was merely talking about her life, which is, like, a thing that people do, in case you hadn’t noticed.
In a perfect world, we wouldn’t need labels — straight, gay, bi, queer, trans — at all. Instead, people would just be people, but that’s not reality. We live in a world where individuals size each other up and make assumptions. As long as this continues, coming out is going to remain a necessity, especially for public figures.
If you yearn for the time where people announce that they are gay and no media outlet is interested in running the story because, yawn, who cares, guess what: You’re not alone. Plenty of gay people yearn for that time too. Michael Sam and Tim Cook probably yearn for that time. I know I do, but we aren’t there yet.
Marriage Momentum in Mississippi
www.hrc.org/blog/entry/marriage-momentum-in-mississippi?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss-feed
Bar Goes Out Of Its Way To Declare Straightness After Stealing Gay Bar Logo, Gets Hilariously Shamed
A general rule in business is always alienate potential paying customers, and one Lafayette, Louisiana bar is really acing it.
Bar Code, a downtown lounge set to open soon in Lafayette, wanted to make it extra clear that they aren’t associated with a gay bar in Richmond, VA, also called Bar Code. See where the confusion could come from?
They took to Facebook to clarify:
But a name is just a name, right? Except here’s the gay bar in Richmond:
And here’s the definitely-not-a-gay-bar in Lafayette:
Look familiar?
Here’s the response the new bar received:
File this under the ‘social media fail’ category.
via IND
Dan Tracer
Postmodern Jukebox Turns Ariana Grande's 'Love Me Harder' Into A James Bond Theme: VIDEO
Scott Bradley’s Postmodern Jukebox is back and this time serving up a sultry James Bond-esque version of Ariana Grande’s “Love Me Harder.” Cristina Gatti lends her vocals and channels the legendary Shirley Bassey.
Watch it, AFTER THE JUMP…
And in case you’ve missed previous jams from Postmodern Jukebox, check out their retro-infused covers below:
Ariana Grande’s “Break Free” Gets a Soulful Twist
A Jazz-Crooner Cover of David Guetta and Sia’s “Titanium”
Sam Smith’s “I’m Not The Only One” – New Orleans Style
Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off” Heads to Motown
Sean Mandell
When Coming Out Is a Death Sentence: The Rising Tide of Violence Against LGBT Iraqis
Joint briefings by the International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission (IGLHRC), MADRE and the Organization of Women’s Freedom in Iraq (OWFI) published last week expose targeted violence against lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) Iraqis.
For two years the International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission (IGLHRC), jointly with Iraqi and international NGOs, has supported humanitarian assistance to vulnerable lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) individuals and worked to raise awareness about their desperate plight.
Out of this work comes two briefings, “When Coming Out Is a Death Sentence” and “We’re Here: Iraqi LGBT People’s Accounts of Violence and Rights Abuse.” The publications expose the depth of suffering and violence perpetrated against LGBT people across different levels of society.
Long a persecuted group, LGBT Iraqis experience high levels of violence that is based on the stigma Iraq society places on differences in sexual orientation and gender expression, and a broad intolerance of those differences. LGBT individuals, if exposed, face unspeakable violence — from within their own families, from their tribes and from the larger community. Government officials are openly disparaging, hostile and frequently complicit in the violence. Once exposed and targeted based on their sexual orientation or gender identity, an individual’s only hope is escape to a shelter or safer area. But the recent rise of the Islamic State has blocked the main escape route to Kurdistan, making the situation even more desperate.
Iraqi LGBT people experience this violence in a climate where the security situation has grown steadily more dangerous. Reports of attacks and atrocities against women and religious and ethnic groups have been mounting in recent months due to the military advancement of the Islamic State group.
Unfortunately, however, this situation is not new. For LGBT people, post-occupation Iraq has never been a safe and welcoming environment; the 2003 U.S.-led invasion unleashed widespread violence, sectarian and ethnic clashes, and ultimately the breakdown of the rule of law.
Over the past few years, religious militias and vigilante groups, with the tacit blessing of the Iraqi security forces, have engaged in rounds of targeted killings of individuals perceived to be “sodomites.” This systematic and hate-motivated violence outlined in IGLHRC’s briefings has left dozens of Iraqi LGBT individuals dead. Many others have suffered torture, sexual violence and humiliation.
Today, LGBT Iraqis are caught between the inhumane treatment by the Islamic State forces, which prescribes death for homosexuality, and the hostile and violent attitude of the pro-government militias, namely the infamous Shiite militia Asaib Ahl al-Haq.
The situation is alarming, as the briefings show. Those who have come to the defense of individuals targeted based on their sexual orientation or gender identity — our brave partners and allies inside Iraq — deserve our profound gratitude. They risk their lives to provide material and moral support, despite grave security risks and threats against their lives.
In a conservative society where very few people fully understand the notion of sexual orientation and gender identity, the majority of the Iraqi population remains hostile to those perceived to be sexual or gender non-conformist: Families tend to disown their LGBT sons and daughters and, even worse, kill them to protect the family “honor.”
Deplorably, society overall views LGBT individuals as sinful, sick people whose very existence should not be tolerated.
Against this backdrop of negative stereotypes and violence, IGLHRC and our partners MADRE and the Organization of Women’s Freedom in Iraq seek to expose the grave human rights abuses and atrocities against LGBT Iraqis in two publications.
In “We’re Here: Iraqi LGBT People’s Accounts of Violence and Rights Abuses,” five individuals share their personal stories of growing up in a war-torn and homophobic environment. From a young age, they experienced abuse and discrimination because of who they are. Some were tortured and witness atrocities against others.
For example, the story of Mahmud, a gay man, is heart-wrenching. At age 24 he was raped by three men who then stole and published photos of him in women’s clothing. When his family saw these photos, they pursued him with the intent of killing him. “I have no problem with the way I am,” he said. “God created me like that. I just want to live freely.”
Others express the same profound desire to live in a tolerant world where they are accepted for who they are.
“When Coming Out Is a Death Sentence” puts the violence against LGBT Iraqis in context — as human rights abuses that must be confronted by the international community. A set of recommendations targets foreign embassies, aid groups and others with the goal of raising attention and trying to improve the situation for the community. In the short run, it is our hope is that many more people like Saad, a gay man also featured in the “We’re Here” report, will find safety. Living with assistance from an NGO that supports LGBT Iraqis, Saad said, “There, I [was] treated with respect, mercy and humanity.”
This is the promise that guides IGLHRC’s work with LGBT people around the world for human rights for everyone, everywhere.
Tacoma to Offer Trans-Inclusive Health Benefits for City Employees
Following the release of the 2014 Municipal Equality Index (MEI), more cities are embracing inclusive health care coverage for all.
HRC.org
Marriage Equality In Mississippi! Can It Get Any More Inevitable Than That?
You’d have thought that you’d see a Muslim governor in Mississippi before you’d see marriage equality, but it turns out you’d be wrong. A federal court has ruled that the state’s ban on marriage is unconstitutional. Just to underline how inevitable marriage equality has become even in the South, a federal judge in Arkansas struck down that state’s ban just hours before.
The ruling is on hold for two weeks while the state prepares an appeal. There are now 35 states where marriage equality is the law or been found constitutional.
Judge Carlton Reeves determined that Mississippi’s ban on same-sex marriage amounted to “state-sanctioned discrimination” and concluded that “same-sex couples should be allowed to share in the benefits, and burdens, for better or for worse, of marriage.” Reeves also addressed the state’s decades-long history of homophobia, calling Mississippi out for “a constellation of state laws that treat gay and lesbian Mississippians as lesser, ‘other’ people.”
It’s worth noting that both Reeves and Kristine Baker, the judge in the Arkansas case, were appointed to the bench by Obama. (Just in case you ever wonder about the consequences of elections.) It’s also worth noting that the lawyer representing the couples challenging the law was Roberta Kaplan, who represented Edie Windsor before the Supreme Court.
Reeves’ ruling is an earthquake in a state that just this year passed a bill making it legal to discriminate against LGBT people if you say Jesus told you to do so. Needless to say, heads immediately began exploding across the state as opponents of anything gay struggled to adjust to the 21st century.
Bryan Fischer of the American Family Association, which is headquartered in Tupelo, called on Gov. Phil Bryant to disregard the ruling altogether.
“There is one and only one short range solution to a runaway judiciary on the issue of sodomy-based marriage: a governor with the testosterone to stand up and just say no,” Fischer said. Because the judiciary has no police force, Fischer argues, “If its unconstitutional rulings are ignored, what will the Supreme Court do?”
One side effect of the Mississippi ruling is to prove data geek Nate Silver wrong. Silver had predicted that Mississippi or Alabama would be the last state to legalize marriage equality based on changes in public attitudes. Alabama isn’t looking good for Silver either.
Mississippi State Rep. Alyce Clark, who has a gay son, had the appropriate response to Reeves ruling: “Maybe we won’t be last in everything.”
True, for a change. And who is going to want to hold the title as the last state to embrace marriage equality?
JohnGallagher
Out Country Singer Ty Herndon: The Support I've Received Since Coming Out 'Blew My Mind'
Ty Herndon hanging with friends backstage at the Grand Ole Opry after Monday’s show (Via Facebook fan page)
Country singer Ty Herndon has been feeling the love after his surprise coming out last week. In a follow-up interview with People magazine, he says the positive reaction he’s received “blew my mind” and he’s been overwhelmed by the support he’s gotten from his fans as well as out show folk like Ricky Martin, Lance Bass, Chely Wright and even Leann Rimes.
Since his statement last week, Herndon has had two public performances filled with emotion, tears, and even a little bit of history. Herndon’s first performance after his surprise announcement last week was to a sold out crowd in Robinson, Illinois on Saturday night. It was, he said, an emotional show that ended with a standing ovation. Then on Monday night, Herndon took part in a Christmas benefit for kids at the Grand Ole Opry making him the the first out male country artist to appear on the famed stage.
“My knees were shaking!” he recalled, choking up a bit. “Walking out on the Grand Ole Opry stage as an open, free, happy, godly gay man is not something I thought I’d see in my lifetime. We knew that history was being made up there, and it was humbling.”
As he adjusts to his new role as an out/loud/proud performer, Herndon states he is also looking forward to being a force for change in parts of the country where being gay is still a challenge. “There’s so much work to be done in the South with all these kids that are struggling so greatly with finding love and support and finding a place to go to feel loved and supported.”
Herndon says he is feeling especially thankful this Thanksgiving week for all the support he’s received and is looking forward to spending a quiet holiday in Nashville with his family and his partner.
Brian Sloan
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