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70% of marriages between gay Mormon men and straight women end in divorce
Survey flies in the face of TLC’s controversial special My Husband’s Not Gay
darrenw
www.gaystarnews.com/article/70-marriages-between-gay-mormon-men-and-straight-women-end-divorce140115
Leelah's Legacy Needs Help: A Trans Woman's Call to Arms for the Absolute Right to Exist in Serenity and Safety
This is not a culture war. It’s a physical and social war for survival, and we need reinforcements.
We may be reaching the transgender tipping point; however, following a tipping over comes the spill. The mix of silence and literally homicidal aggression that we’re seeing all over the country shows how incredibly far we still have to go. If the escalated violence that we’ve experienced since the suicide of young trans girl Leelah Alcorn is any indication, things are going to continue getting worse before they get systematically better for trans people.
You may or may not have heard of the suicide of Leelah Alcorn. I will repeat it for those who haven’t. If you’re trans and you know the story, please don’t feel obligated to transport yourself to Leelah’s darkest night yet again. If you are not trans, please read this story until you hurt as much as the community of trans women who never had the chance to be there for her and show her what true love, support, empathy, and celebration mean.
Shortly after midnight on the cold morning of December 28, 2014, 17-year-old trans girl Leelah Alcorn walked along Interstate 71 near her hometown of Kings Mills, Ohio. According to historical weather data, temperatures hovered around 30 degrees, and the skies were overcast. It was dark and cold, and Leelah was there because she had come to a final decision. She had written a heartrendingly eloquent suicide note on her account with the social-networking site Tumblr and set it to post automatically if she did not cancel it by a certain time. Further details of her time on the interstate are unknown and unnecessary, except for one final, soul-crushing fact:
Leelah stepped in front of a tractor-trailer and was killed.
In her suicide note, which has since gone massively viral (and has been deleted from Tumblr along with her account, which had become a shrine of sorts), Leelah recounts her previous three years spent realizing and coming to terms with who she was and the reactions of those around her. At age 14, after years of pain and confusion, she learned that transgender people exist. Her mother “reacted extremely negatively” to Leelah’s subsequent coming out and began sending her to Christian therapists who offered only pious condemnation. At 16 she was pulled out of public school, her laptop and phone taken from her, and she was kept away from social media — the 21st-century version of solitary confinement for a trans girl. It was a punishment for claiming the right to exist in accordance with her true identity, which evolved quickly into an actual death sentence.
Not long after losing her social contacts and her dream of becoming a fully realized and authentic version of herself, Leelah gave up hope forever.
How do we fight the injustice and alienation that are experienced to one degree or another by every trans person I know, especially trans youth?
Politics is not enough. This fact is demonstrable when, in the days since Leelah’s death, we see renewed efforts by those who would see more trans people dead:
What else will it take to sufficiently value trans people, especially trans youth?
Politics, trans visibility, and supportive campaigns are good and necessary, but they aren’t nearly enough. Isolated trans people like Leelah have, at times, access to the Internet and thus access to a virtual world full of other trans people who are experiencing challenges, successes, and failures similar to those that she encountered. For example, two Reddit posts have emerged (here and here), reported to have been left by Leelah, looking for advice on dealing with her situation. Access to an online community was not enough to sustain Leelah’s hope or sense of community. Even when her online presence was cut off by her parents, she must have realized that, if nothing else, her connection to distant support and information would eventually return — sooner rather than later, in the grand scheme of things — regardless of whatever else in her life was going to or not going to change.
There are a number of young trans people like Leelah — a number of trans people of all ages, in fact — who continue to experience profound alienation in the absence of people who are physically present and available with them. More than anything, they need people who are actively listening, understanding, and truly empathizing with their struggles.
My friend Andromeda, who is 22 years old and agender, wrote a post the other day that reflected these limitations of connectivity in an even more profound way than my own recent experiences (reprinted with permission; emphasis mine):
The people who stood up and shouted “it gets better” from rooftops were never the ones that inspired me to move on. It was always good but it wasn’t what sparked me thinking or what helped me when I was really down. The people who told me to “get over it,” or that my pain “was to be expected” or said “you’ll grow out of it” were never the ones I looked up to or respected. Hope and positivity are good, they’re great ways to combat the crushing nihilism that exists in the world but they leave you at arms length from kids who build up walls around the sort of empty rhetoric they grew up being fed by families, friends, and lovers who didn’t really give a shit about them. I steeled my heart a long time ago and it took a lot of work and love to open me up and I know I can’t be alone in that. And it’s hard day by day but it still hurts to think of where I would be without these people in my life. Let’s strive for honest and earnest dialogue that leaves us all as vulnerable as the people we’re trying to help because the only way we can move forward is together, and day by day.
This needs to end now. Those of us with the resources to fight in any way need to continue to stand up to those who are actively working to see more trans people dead, and we need to be absolutely present with those trans people who, at any given moment, may have fewer emotional or material resources than we do.
We need everyone to share this information. These stories are not just for trans women to read, share, rage about, and tremble along with in the darkness. These stories are for all those on the right side of history and of humanity who realize that gender variance has always existed across cultures and history. Far from being a threat, gender variance and the authentic lives of transgender people enrich culture and the human experience.
2015 must be the year that the systematic isolation, marginalization, and killing of trans people, whether through physical attack, psychological warfare, or systemic violence and oppression, are made explicitly, implicitly, legally, and socially unacceptable.
If you believe this is true, take a deep breath and dive in with us. We need you to listen to us, to fight with us, to amplify our messages, and to love and honor us and our right to simply be — now more than ever.
Have you ever thought of past struggles for civil rights and had your conscience speak to you in a silent wish that you could have lived during a particular time and fought on the right side of history? Dreamed of what an asset or force you could have been?
Here is your chance. Right here, right now.
What will you make of it?
Need help? In the U.S., visit The Trevor Project or call them at 1-866-488-7386. You can also call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.
WATCH: Janet Mock, a Journalist First and Foremost
In serving on an MSNBC panel on the Golden Globes, Janet Mock was recognized as a pop-culture maven who, oh, just happens to be trans.
Dawn Ennis
www.advocate.com/politics/media/2015/01/13/watch-janet-mock-journalist-first-and-foremost
My Fellow Christians, What Do We Do When Your Religious Beliefs Violate My Religious Beliefs?
Marriage equality is gaining momentum. Equal-rights ordinances seeking to protect the LGBT community from discrimination in employment, housing, and public accommodations are on the rise. Public opinion is shifting in regard to gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender individuals. But with advancement of rights comes backlash.
Presently my hometown of Plano, Texas, is in the middle of a battle over an equal-rights ordinance recently passed to include sexual orientation and gender identity in the city’s nondiscrimination policy. And while the version passed has numerous exemptions (too many for now), there is still mounting support for overturning it. I struggle with comprehending the various objections to this particular civil-rights movement, but I am most affronted by the so-called argument that providing protection from discrimination for the LGBT community somehow violates religious liberty. It’s argued as a battle cry based on some common understanding that being religious and being gay are mutually exclusive. But it’s illogical and disingenuous to assume that everyone has the same understanding of religious doctrine and beliefs. Why do you believe that your religious beliefs are some kind of universal standard of all religious beliefs and morality? You throw around “religious liberty” as if all Christians agree on these topics, and as if our biblical interpretation and understanding hasn’t been evolving for centuries.
And while, regardless of my faith, I do not believe that religious discussions should shape public policy and our laws, to ignore this religious-liberty argument is, to me, to concede that they are right that being gay and being beloved in the eyes of God are incompatible. So, addressing this singular argument only, I am compelled to ask my fellow Christians: What do we do when your religious beliefs violate my religious beliefs?
What if my religious beliefs tell me that all of us are created equal and our one true purpose is to love and help each other?
What if my religious beliefs tell me that we were given the ability to reason, learn, and evolve in our understanding of the world and our fellow man, and that we shouldn’t be afraid to expand and change our hearts and minds?
What if my religious beliefs tell me that you don’t need to have any religion to be a decent and moral person, that enough war and violence is done in the name of religion, so I certainly don’t need to promote my belief in God as the only way to live a good life?
What if my religious beliefs tell me that, as a business owner, I should provide my services to those who are need of them regardless of whether I personally agree with everything they believe and how they live?
What if my religious beliefs tell me that to truly live in an open and vibrantly diverse society, our laws should not favor any one religion, denomination, or set of beliefs to govern all? Forget for a second what the Constitution says; what if my religious beliefs tell me that?
What if my religious beliefs tell me that so many passages in the Bible have been misinterpreted or are taken out of context to discriminate based on sexual orientation, race, and gender?
What if my religious beliefs told me in Sunday School week after week that God loves me, but now that I’ve grown up, you tell me that He does not?
What if my religious beliefs tell me that sin is anything that keeps one from walking with God; that I feel blessed — yes, blessed — that He made me this way, because it’s given my life direction, purpose, and fulfillment; and that I feel closest to God when I am speaking about loving and accepting all people regardless of whether we understand or agree with everything about them?
What if my religious beliefs tell me that there are many different points of view, and that no one person can be certain that their point of view is the eternal truth, but that if we err on the side of love and acceptance, God can and will sort out the rest?
What if my religious beliefs tell me that living, working, and doing business with those with whom I disagree does not diminish my faith or my beliefs and in fact doesn’t change anything about my life?
I’m not saying my religious beliefs are the way for everyone to live or believe. But neither are yours. In fact, they are not truly universal religious beliefs but your personal beliefs. And that’s OK. But you don’t get to impose those on everyone else to prevent them from living, working, and loving with the same freedom that you are afforded by virtue of who you are. And, as I stated above, I don’t see why you have to have any religion in order to live a good and moral life. How I live is personal to me, but by no means do I believe everyone should believe as I do. And that is exactly the point.
I’m no expert in religion, but I believe in my faith as much as any of you, and my heart and soul tell me that my beliefs are just as legitimate as anyone else’s. My faith tells me that God made me in His image, and that He is proud of His creation, and I seek to serve Him every day. I am perfectly imperfect but strive to be a more loving and kinder person in His honor. I am thankful to God for giving me this life. I know I am blessed to be who I am.
Trans New Yorkers can now change gender on birth certificate without convertive surgery
Name change is also no longer a requirement
gregh
Rihanna's Cover Of Madonna's 'Vogue' Surfaces: LISTEN
Hints of Rihanna’s return to the music scene are surfacing as the singer’s cover of Madonna’s classic Vogue surfaced this week reports Out. According to U.K.’s Attitude, the cover is from 2008 and her vocal stylings sound reminiscent of her Good Girl Gone Bad days, which served as a guide track for a live performance. Rihanna’s absence from the music scene and pop charts has fans and others anxious, and curious, about the release date of her next album, which many, including Rihanna, have dubbed #R8. The singer has dropped an album virtually every year since her debut album Music of the Sun in 2005, and her last album Unapologetic was released in 2012.
However, Rihanna’s kept busy in the interim with her film career in a cameo role in 2014’s Annie and one of the lead roles in DreamWorks’ new animated film Home–set to debut on March 27, features on other artists songs including Shakira’s Can’t Remember to Forget You and world tours. Rumblings of a new album began in early 2014 after Rihanna left her label Def Jam to fully sign with Roc Nation and news of rising artist Kiesza writing new material for the artist. Rihanna posted a snippet of demo song Kiss it Better on her Instagram late last year and a rough demo of a song called World Peace leaked on the internet and was subsequently taken down. Crooner Sam Smith also let slip that Rihanna shared details with him about the new album stating that he’s “excited,” for it.
Meanwhile Rihanna’s fans certainly haven’t forgotten the singer. Notable fan Mina Gerges, a college student with 35,000 followers on Instagram, recreates famous photographs of female celebrities including Kim Kardashian’s “Break the Internet” picture, Nicki Minaj, Beyonce and Rihanna and posts them on his Instagram.
In the meantime Gerges, and other Rihanna fans hungry for new music, can listen to the singer’s cover of Vogue in full, AFTER THE JUMP…
Anthony Costello
www.towleroad.com/2015/01/rihannas-cover-of-madonnas-vogue-surfaces.html
Colorado Church Refuses Memorial Service to Lesbian Mom and Wife
A Colorado church cancelled a lesbian’s funeral at the last minute after church leaders learned of her sexual orientation.
Tracy E Gilchrist
Citing Mental Illness, Russia Outlaws Driving for Transgender People, Amputees
As of Tuesday, January 6, it is now illegal for transgender and transsexual people to drive vehicles in Russia. The bill, originally signed by Russian Prime Minister Dmitry Medvedev on December 29, bans any person demonstrating “mental disorders” such as fetishism, exhibitionism , voyeurism, and pathological gambling from driving. Additionally, amputees and colorblind individuals are subject to the new prohibition.
The “On Road Safety” law references the World Health Organization’s manual for classifying mental illness in humans. Under the heading “Egodystonic sexual orientation,” the International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems (ICD-10) says, “The gender identity or sexual preference (heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, or prepubertal) is not in doubt, but the individual wishes it were different because of associated psychological and behavioural disorders, and may seek treatment in order to change it.”
Supporters of the law cite road accidents as the reason for the newly proposed parameters.
“We have too many deaths on the road, and I believe toughening medical requirements for applicants is fully justified,” said Alexander Kotov of the Professional Drivers Union.
The Association of Russian Lawyers for Human Rights, founded in 2004 and legally formed in 2007, posted on their website, “All transgender people, bigender, asexuals, transvestites, crossdressers, people who need in a sex reassignment were recognized by Russian Government as a people with the deviations.” The website further stated that “the reason of the refusal in obtaining of the driver’s license may be, for example, the visit of a human to the sex-shop: if the police get the information about the purchase in the sex-shop (handcuffs, dildo) the human may lose the driver’s license.”
“Banning people from driving based on their gender identity or expression is completely outrageous and just another example of the Russian regime’s methodical rollback of basic human rights for its citizens,” said Human Rights First’s Shawn Gaylord. “Beyond the denial of basic freedoms, this provision may deter transgender people from seeking mental health services for fear of receiving a diagnosis that would strip them of their right to drive, and leaves the door open for increased harassment, persecution, and discrimination of transgender people by Russian authorities. We urge the United States to immediately condemn this provision and to press the Russian government to repeal this decision.”
In 2013 the Russian government passed a discriminatory “anti-gay-propaganda” law whereby any individual suspected of being lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender would be subject to harassment from government officials, threats of violence, and imprisonment for peaceful public demonstrations.
The Obama administration is being urged to appoint a special envoy for the human rights of LGBT people within the State Department to stand as a statement of the U.S.’s commitment to the human rights of LGBT people worldwide.
Gay soccer pro Robbie Rogers shares his pre-season workout tips
LA Galaxy player does combination of yoga, interval and cardio training to get back into ‘soccer shape’
gregh
www.gaystarnews.com/article/gay-soccer-pro-robbie-rogers-shares-his-pre-season-workout-tips140115
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