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The Gay Guy's Guide To Coming Out
Check out this episode of The Gay Guy’s Guide To Life for a few tips for coming out like a pro!
Rob Smith is an author, journalist, and openly gay Iraq war veteran. Closets, Combat and Coming Out is available now on Amazon.com and Barnesandnoble.com and wherever LGBT and progressive books are sold. For more on Rob, visit him on his YouTube channel and on Twitter @robsmithonline.
Major Alabama News Site Comes Out in Support of Marriage Equality
A major news site in Alabama published an op-ed in support of marriage equality yesterday.
HRC.org
Gay Dads Respond With Love After School Sends Homophobic Rejection Letter
For parents of young children, finding the best early education options can be a nightmare. But this is something else entirely.
Married couple Brian Copeland and Greg Bullard have been searching for the right school for their son. Greg is a senior pastor at a local church, and a faith-based education is on their priority list (we’ll reserve judgment on that one, suffice it to say they sound like lovely people).
A friend of theirs recommended Davidson Academy, a Christian school that has no direct affiliation to any religious institution or church. The friend even when to so far as to inquire with someone he knew who worked at the school, who told him that Brian and Greg’s family would be welcome there.
The couple made a phone call to set up an appointment, and a few days later received this letter in the mail:
It reads:
Although Davidson Academy is not sponsored by or affiliated with any specific church or denomination, the school was founded by Christians and operates in the Christian tradition based upon clear tenets of faith and practice. In the Handbook for Students and Parents, which is accessible on our public website and to which every family must subscribe in the Enrollment Agreement, our Statement of Faith appears on page 6. The first point of the Statement is as follows:
We believe God has revealed Himself, His purposes, and His ways in the Bible, which is therefore absolute in its truth and authority over daily living.
The practical application of this principle extends to the lifestyle conduct of those who are a part of the school. In the section on Admission Policy in the Handbook, on page 15, is found this statement:
Davidson Academy requires all its students, parents or guardians, teachers, administrators, staff and trustees to manifest lifestyle conduct and actions which project an image consistent with the expressed purposes, mission, and beliefs of the school. Any lifestyle conduct which is in opposition to the mission of Davidson Academy or which impedes the school’s credibility with its constituency or the general public is unacceptable.
One example of such lifestyle is homosexuality. Davidson Academy has the right and responsibility to do everything possible to ensure that its expressed purposes, mission, and beliefs continue in their highest traditions and are not harmed, compromised, or hindered by unacceptable lifestyle conduct on the part of its students, parents or guardians, teachers, administrators, staff or trustees.
Brian posted the letter to Facebook, blurring out the name of the school, adding the following message. HuffPost notes that it traced the letter back to Davidson easily.
I share this to let my friends know that discrimination affects people you know and love and still hurts no matter how many times you go through it. We chose this school because of its rigorous faith-based K-12 academics and extra curricular activities; and, a friend with a son there asked them if a family like ours would be allowed and was told yes. After a phone conversation, fully disclosing we are a two-dad family, an appointment was set for us. I receive this letter canceling our appointment without even getting a chance.
Sadly enough, an acquaintance called the school this morning and told them she had been through a divorce because she cheated and that she now lives with her three kids and her boyfriend. The administrator welcomed them with open arms and offered an appointment.
I chose to not share the name because the kids who go there deserve respect and to learn in peace. It’s not about me getting my way. My children will not go there under this person’s administration. It’s about telling the story that there are real faces and feelings that open letters like this. We want the best for our kids, and THEY deserve to be given a chance. I love you all. The love you show my family every day here makes life even richer.
If we’re going to go off Christian values, it’s also worth noting that Brian and Greg have won awards for their community service, and that they run the only LGBT food pantry in Tennessee, serving over 200 families monthly.
Brian told HuffPost, “I’ve learned through this experience we need to choose a place that will not only admit our children, but celebrate them.”
Dan Tracer
An Inside Look at Hillary Clinton's 2016 Campaign and Her Potential Vice Presidential Shortlist
According a cryptic Politico article, Hillary Clinton is all but done making her handpicked decisions for her potential Presidential cabinet.
Though most of the notable decisions have purportedly been made, the pick for Clinton’s communications director has yet to be decided. Current White House communications director Jennifer Palmieri, writes Politico’s Mike Allen, is being strongly considered, but Clinton remains insistent upon plotting out her campaign in “her way” according to sources close to her.
Politico also has the scoop on the Clinton team’s shortlist for Vice President:
The Clinton team knows it can’t campaign with the swagger of a presumptive nominee because the air of inevitability was so damaging last time around. That said, some advisers are already privately talking up potential running mates, with Sens. Michael Bennet of Colorado and Tim Kaine of Virginia dominating the early speculation.
Some advisers expect a push for diversity on the ticket. So the shortlist also is expected to include Housing and Urban Development Secretary Julián Castro, Labor Secretary Tom Perez, Sen. Cory Booker of New Jersey and perhaps California Attorney General Kamala Harris, who is running for U.S. Senate.
Read the full article here.
Who do you want to see on the ticket?
Charles Pulliam-Moore
Ben Carson Claims Anti-Gay Bakery Owners 'Might Put Poison' In Same-Sex Couple's Cakes
GOP presidential hopeful Ben Carson reportedly slammed lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) rights advocates at a Jan. 24 press conference following his speech at Congressman Steve King’s Iowa Freedom Summit.
Carson, a Fox News commentator and former Johns Hopkins University pediatric neurosurgeon, seemed to hint at a series of disputes that have erupted between same-sex couples hoping to tie the knot and bakeries and other wedding-related venues operated by opponents of same-sex marriage.
“What I have a problem with is when people try to force people to act against their beliefs because they say, ‘They’re discriminating against me,’” he told reporters, according to The Hill. “So they can go right down the street and buy a cake, but no, let’s bring a suit against this person because I want them to make my cake even though they don’t believe in it.”
He then added, “[That] is really not all that smart because they might put poison in that cake.”
Carson has been outspoken in regard to his opposition to same-sex marriage rights.
“Marriage is between a man and a woman. No group, be they gays, be they NAMBLA, be they people who believe in bestiality, it doesn’t matter what they are,” he told Sean Hannity in 2012, as cited by Slate. “They don’t get to change the definition.”
He shared similar sentiments in his 2012 book, America the Beautiful: Rediscovering What Made This Nation Great, noting that attempts to “redefine marriage” would bring about a “disastrous ending” for the U.S. that would mirror “the dramatic fall of the Roman Empire,” according to Media Matters.
Interestingly, Carson may have been in the minority when it came to discussing same-sex marriage at the Iowa Freedom Summit this year. As The Huffington Post’s Igor Bobic reported, the subject “remained conspicuously absent from the lips of many speakers who took the stage, demonstrating how dramatically politics around the issue has shifted in just a few years.”
Same-Sex Couples in Alabama Eagerly Await Opportunity to Marry
Following her ruling in support of marriage equality in Alabama on Friday, U.S. District Judge Callie V. S. Granade issued a 14-day stay on Sunday night, delaying the start marriage equality in the state.
HRC.org
Homophobes Think they Can Save Marriage By Destroying it
Just how horrible are the homophobes in Oklahoma’s legislature? About as bad as the segregationists who blocked school integration in the 1950s.
By now, you may have heard that Representatives Todd Russ and Sally Kern have come up with some truly insane antigay laws in response to our recent marriage victories. Russ wants to completely ban marriage altogether — as in, nobody, gay or straight, can get married. If you’re caught issuing a marriage license, you would go to to jail for up to a year. That sounds impossibly nuts, but it’s actually really honestly what he’s proposed.
In a way, it’s not too different from how the Governor of Arkansas responded to Brown v. Board of Education. Rather than allow black students to attend classes with white kids, Governor Orville Faubus (what a name) closed all of the high schools in Little Rock for a year. If the white families couldn’t have their segregated schools, then by God nobody will have any schools!
Apparently Russ is such a close student of racist politicians that he’s taken a page straight out of Faubus’ playbook with his marriage proposal. And just like Faubus, Russ knows that of course he’s going to lose; there’s no way he can actually ban marriage. But that’s not the point. His only goal here is intimidation, making LGBTs feel unwelcome, and scaring whipping up anti-gay sentiment among his ignorant followers. Then when there’s an act of homophobic violence, he can disavow it and say something like “well of course I’d never condone violence” when in fact is hateful rhetoric is exactly what created the environment where violence flourishes.
Kern, on the other hand, is just a kook. She proposed various bills that would prevent the state from paying any employee who allowed gays to marry, and also to force gay kids into abusive “ex-gay” torture camps. (Her son Jesse Kern, it’s worth noting, is DEFINITELY NOT GAY, no sir, absolutely one hundred percent straight, absolutely.) Once again, she knows this won’t pass. And yet she’s pushing it anyway — not because she actually believes she’s being a leader, but because she wants to make life miserable for the gays.
At this point, they’re not even trying to hide their admiration for segregationists.
matt baume
A Best-Case, Worst-Case Look at the Supreme Court's Options
In a best-case scenario, the Supreme Court could bring marriage to the whole country this summer. But a worst-case scenario puts marriage many years and millions of dollars away.
Matt Baume
'Seeking Assistance: Trans Healthcare In America' Engaged In Kickstarter
What does it mean to be a transgender individual living in America who needs access to affordable healthcare?
Filmmaker Christian Hendricks tackles this question in his latest project “Seeking Assistance: Trans Healthcare in America.” Currently engaged in a Kickstarter campaign, this film aims to contribute to a longer conversation surrounding transgender identity and healthcare with a focus on Mississippi.
The Huffington Post chatted with Hendricks this week in order to develop a more nuanced understanding about this project.
The Huffington Post: Why did you decide to embark on this project? What are you trying to accomplish?
Christian Hendricks: I’ve worked on a lot of projects focusing on different aspects of queer culture, but recently I’ve felt especially strong about the concerns of trans people. I think at this point, as a white cisgender gay male, if you’re not getting concerned, you have to be willfully ignoring the issue of trans rights. Basically, being the white cis gay male that I am, part of me is really tired of seeing more protected members of our community failing to acknowledge or help just because things have gotten a lot better for them in the past few years.
Why focus specifically on Mississippi?
I had a really great time in Mississippi and met some of my favorite people during the trip there. However, Mississippi has some of the more unfortunate policies (or lack of policies) for protecting and helping trans people. The issues presented in this documentary will be issues that affect every trans person in the country, but I felt that Mississippi would serve as a strong microcosm for the issue.
How is this building on your previous project?
This project is following in the steps of the previous project, but it’s not necessarily a “Part 2.” I didn’t want to make another documentary about the general experience of being queer in a place. I wanted to address something specific, and attempt to make a difference with this one. The last project got a lot of exposure and afforded me a small platform to say something else. I decided that this what I wanted to say because not enough people are talking about it.
What do you hope people take away from this project in terms of their understanding of how trans identity intersects with access to healthcare?
I hope that this helps motivate a larger conversation about what it means to be trans. — both in general but also within the LGBT community. Transitioning is a combined mental and physical experience that’s certainly more harrowing than what I experienced coming out as a gay man, and it deserves consideration and recognition — on a personal level and absolutely in a medical and political sense.
Head here to check out the “Seeking Assistance” Kickstarter.
Looking at “Looking”: Season 2, Episode 3
We begin with an ongoing illustration of the ninja-like sneakiness with which Pat and Kevin mask their inappropriate relationship: an ass grab at an office party followed by a conspicuous departure for a private rooftop meeting. I mean, who doesn’t do that with their boss? They’re so cute and couple-y that they even bicker about sweaters and schedules before deciding that Kevin will accompany Patrick to Dom’s rugby game on a totally just friends basis. Because nothing is friendlier than forcing others to act casual while you inflict your terrible decisions on them.
Next, we have the closest thing to a superhero/arch-nemesis pairing this show will ever see: Agustin visits Richie at the barber shop. Pat’s ex immediately re-asserts himself as the best person any of the main characters will ever meet: he listens openly even though the dude he’s talking to is a known dirtbag, he expresses his own feelings in an honest but level-headed manner, and he even cleans up Ag’s hobo beard, presumably for free because where would that money have even come from?
A freshly shorn Agustin arrives home to find Pat freaking out about cleaning because he honestly still expects everyone else to join him in the fantasy that Kevin is some sort of romantic prospect. It’s like a prolonged re-enactment of Lars and the Real Girl as directed by Woody Allen at his most neurotic. There’s one thing our delusional little dilettante hasn’t scrubbed, though, which means it’s time for a trip to the local convenience store for some personal irrigation tools. Pat tries to make cute jokes with the woman at the checkout counter, but she’s too busy being a normal person to tolerate his nonsense. Like the rest of us, she’s wondering how he could have gotten this far in his life as a gay San Fraciscan and still be experiencing so many things for the first time. Was he a mermaid before the first season? Does he still brush his hair with a fork?
Dom, Lynn, Doris, and Malik all boned and then slept in the same apartment last night, and it’s a situation that no one seems fully comfortable with. Everyone is in agreement that they’re all too old for this kind of dorm-room tomfoolery, but they still enjoy the special brand of youthful exuberance that can only be achieved through rimming. Because that’s another thing that we’re candidly discussing now for no reason having to do with wanting to feel fun and current after last season’s reviews. Take that, Girls! The gang gets dressed, brushes their tongues (one assumes), and heads out to breakfast to celebrate Dom’s recent meeting with a potential investor and impending game of rugged, gruff, homosexual rugby.
The game is, it turns out, pretty lackluster. (Gay amateur rugby is a little specific to draw a crowd.) Lynn can’t make it, so Doris is left to fend for herself with Ag and Eddie, who has returned from wherever he was last week. Kevin and Pat are late because they were busy having faux-adorable drinks while nearly discussing marriage. (Green card marriage, not the romantic kind, but of course Pat still got his hopes ALL THE WAY UP.) They also leave early because this is seventh grade and making out is important. Besides, Eddie is proving to be a little too much of an Anglophile and it’s making everyone more uncomfortable than they already were.
After winning the game and having a celebratory group dick wiggle in the shower, Dom learns from a teammate that Lynn set up the investor meeting knowing that it would only result in the offer of a manager job, and not the blank check he’s apparently looking for. This leads to some daddy-on-daddy sniping in the parking lot, because it’s important never to discuss these things at home in private. Sending your roommate to stand ten feet away makes public arguing completely acceptable.
Back at the homestead, Kevin is surprised to learn that Patrick reads self-help books, even though everything about the man says “I understand human behavior on a purely academic level.” Baby Boy doesn’t want to jump straight to fucking because he’s such an innocent, a fact driven home by his decision to put on literal children’s programming. Surprisingly, Kevin is all about this choice. Even more surprisingly, Kevin wants to bottom when the completely natural cartoons-to-buttsex segue occurs. Slightly less surprisingly, Kevin then waits until he thinks his fake boyfriend is asleep and calls his real boyfriend on the phone. Patrick is left to lie alone in bed and convince himself that there’s no way he could have seen that coming. Maybe next week Ag can take him to buy a new book about this situation. Or maybe just a new brain.
Chris Kelly
feedproxy.google.com/~r/queerty2/~3/kgIVsT0YRYc/looking-at-looking-season-2-episode-3-20150126
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