Eleven Years of Marriage Equality in Massachusetts

Eleven years ago today, Massachusetts became the first state in the U.S. with marriage equality.
HRC.org

www.hrc.org/blog/entry/eleven-years-of-marriage-equality-in-massachusetts?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss-feed

Anti-Gay Former Texas Governor Rick Perry To Launch 2nd Bid For President Despite Felony Charges: VIDEO

John Wright

www.towleroad.com/2015/05/anti-gay-former-texas-governor-rick-perry-to-run-for-president-again.html

How to Tell Your Wife Your Are a Cross-dresser
Wearing your favorite lace bra and panties in a hotel room while on a business trip or when you are by yourself at home when your wife and kids are out of town can be a lonely experience. After all, you have been dressing in woman’s clothing since you were a child, knowing this is something that you had to do. It made you feel good; it felt right to wear your sister’s nightgown, even if you were caught in the act, you still did it.

As a cross-dresser you have always known you love to dress, and unlike a transgender person, you don’t want to change your gender, as you are content with being a man, yet this need to wear woman’s clothing and act out your femme self, has created confusion for you since you were a child.

You have always loved bras and are fascinated by breasts, even if you don’t have them, you like the way they fill a bra. The touch of the silk against your skin makes you feel whole. It is something you think about everyday, even if you are not acting on it.

Conflicted over your cross-dressing habit, you try to make peace with it and quit attempting to figure out why you have this desire to wear woman’s clothing. Your therapist says you are normal, so why can’t you tell anyone about your desire to dress and let your femme self out for others to see? The one person you want to share your femme self with is your wife, the mother of your children, your best friend and partner in life.

Yet, you don’t know how to tell her. You are afraid she will abandon you or look badly on your behavior, thinking it is a sexual fetish that she wants no part of, when dressing is something that you were born with and a part of you that is begging to be exposed.

According to Sister House, a popular site for cross-dressers, about 70% of their audience have expressed that they have told their wives. The other 30% are still hiding in the shadows wanting to come out and share their femme self. Conflicted over how to tell their wives after many years of marriage, they dress by themselves in silence, which only makes the act more deviant. They connect on social media, showing themselves dressed only as their femme self, hoping to connect with others who can share their need to dress.

With the transgender community stepping up, as Bruce Jenner has become the leader in this journey, the cross-dressers are still needing to come out of hiding and to at least share their femme self with their wives. But, how do you tell her after all these years that you have a secret life that she doesn’t know about?

Let’s first look at the three ways you shouldn’t tell your wife about your cross-dressing:

• Leaving a picture of you dressed on your iPad for her to “accidentally” see and pretending that you never meant for her to find the picture when in fact, you did.
• Leaving your size 44 E bra under the bed as a, “Sorry, you weren’t supposed to see it.” This only makes her feel like she violated your privacy or worse yet, have a girlfriend with very large breasts.
• Get recognized by her girlfriend who saw you at a hotel bar. No wife wants to be the last to know your secret. Public opinion does matter and she wants to be able to control who knows about your cross-dressing because it also affects her.

The best ways to tell your wife:

• Take her on a vacation, just the two of you; no kids. Relaxed and away from responsibilities is the time to have an honest discussion on your cross-dressing. Let her know you have not told her because you are just beginning to understand how important cross-dressing it is to you in your life and the one person you trust and love is her. Tell her about your early experiences with cross-dressing.
• Schedule an appointment with a therapist for both of you. I would suggest you tell her before you see the therapist, but have an appointment lined up to help her sort out her feelings and give you both the tools you need to help keep an open line of communication. Communication is key for acceptance.

There is no perfect way to inform your wife you are a cross-dresser, yet the way you tell her is almost as important as what you are telling her. Most cross-dressers are quite good at hiding their secret, so when you do inform her after years of marriage, she is going to be shocked. She probably won’t know what being a cross-dresser is and what it means to your marriage. She may think she is going to lose her husband to his femme shelf, which doesn’t happen very often, but she doesn’t know that.

Tell your wife you love her, will always love her and that she is the most important person in your life. You are not going to transition into a woman, you like being a man and her husband, but after all of these years of hiding, you have to be able to share that you are a cross-dresser and to let out your femme side. You are not abandoning your wife; you are just being who you have been all along.

Your wife needs time to process what she heard. It is another test for your marriage. Tell her that you never meant to hurt her and give her time to learn more about what cross-dressing is and don’t forget to go to support groups. It will give her a chance to share with other wives and to feel connected.

Life is short; you and your wife deserve to have an honest marriage. There’s nothing you can do to change the past, so focus on your future by sharing this adventure together and finding a way to integrate your femme self in your marriage that is acceptable and hopefully, rewarding for you both.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

www.huffingtonpost.com/terri-lee-ryan/how-to-tell-your-wife-you_b_7292520.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices

Adam Lambert Wants You to Take Him 'Underground' – LISTEN

Kyler Geoffroy

www.towleroad.com/2015/05/adam-lambert-wants-you-to-take-him-underground-listen.html

LGBT Wellness Roundup: May 17
Each week HuffPost Gay Voices, in a partnership with blogger Scout, LGBT HealthLink and researcher Susana Fajardo, brings you a round up of some of the biggest LGBT wellness stories from the past seven days. For more LGBT Wellness visit our page dedicated to the topic here.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/05/17/lgbt-wellness-may-17_n_7294586.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices

Gay Guys Turn To Whisper To Confess Their Cheating Ways

Here’s a newsflash: lots of people cheat in their relationships. Gay, straight, men, women — statistics show that it happens a lot more than we might imagine, and consistently across the board.

And if we’re going to get real about it, monogamy isn’t a ship built for everyone, but our culture almost demands it. The real problem isn’t non-monogamy, it’s non-communication. We’re afraid to talk to our partners and afraid to be truthful with ourselves, and the secrets and lies are the poison that can eventually kill the love shared between two people.

We certainly aren’t condoning cheating, nor are we dismissing monogamy. If you’re struggling (like some of these Whisper guys below are), you’ve got to talk it out, or else the truth has a way of coming back to haunt you.

Dan Tracer

feedproxy.google.com/~r/queerty2/~3/b_4NqOmPTg0/gay-guys-turn-to-whisper-to-confess-their-cheating-ways-20150517

U.S. Condemns Gambia President's 'Unconscionable' Threat to Cut the Throats of Gay Men

Kyler Geoffroy

www.towleroad.com/2015/05/us-blasts-gambia-presidents-unconscionable-threat-to-cut-the-throats-of-gay-men.html

Hillary Clinton Is Ready to Earn Your Vote This Summer in Hilarious SNL Cold Open Skit: VIDEO

Kyler Geoffroy

www.towleroad.com/2015/05/hillary-clinton-is-ready-to-earn-your-vote-this-summer-in-hilarious-snl-cold-open-skit-video.html

Shape Up: Eating Right and “Conscious Consumption”

Healthy eating equals “consistent and conscious consumption choice.” Say that five times fast! It also means eating quality, “clean,” often and in proportion.

The American diet has evolved over recent decades to rely increasingly on highly processed convenience food that has been developed to accommodate high production volume and our busy lifestyles. Often (but not always) these foods contain excessive preservatives, additives and other additional ingredients that not only diminish the quality of the food, but that are bad for your digestive system and health.

Rather than dwelling on the negative though, let’s keep things upbeat and focus on conscious consumption choices that we can turn into consistent habits to enhance our lives.

When developing more conscious consumption, looking at ingredient lists is key. As a general rule, the fewer number of ingredients the better. If the ingredients listed are real, whole foods with names you recognize and can pronounce, even better. Avoid long ingredient lists and ingredients that look like they came out of a chemistry textbook.

Organic food will yield a higher quality of food and less chemical exposure, so buying organic is always recommended. Cage-free, organic and grass fed meats are recommended as well. When organic options are not available, eyeball your product choices and take the physically smallest one. Genetically modified meat and produce are unnaturally enhanced to be bigger and weigh more. Avoid giant produce and meat filets (especially chicken and fish).

Although changing, much of the country’s diet still consists of processed foods high in refined carbohydrates and sugar. Conscious consumption focuses on lowering consumption of refined, processed foods and consuming more organic choices, as well as a sufficient amount of protein. Your nutritional or wellness professional can help you determine what an adequate amount of protein is for you.

Eating well is critical to maintaining nutrient delivery and metabolic function. Because shopping, preparing and consuming food can often become burdensome and time-consuming, hundreds of convenience food companies have emerged to accommodate the demand for low-to-no-prep food. While appearing as otherwise healthy, many of these foods contain hidden preservatives used to maintain food freshness during delivery. This is where checking the ingredient list becomes handy. Again, fewer ingredients are better.

A good place to start is with those store-bought salad dressings in your refrigerator or pantry. Salad dressings are notorious for the diminished quality of their ingredients and the abundance of additives and preservatives. In fact, most store-bought dressings are full of unhealthy ingredients that sadly diminish the overall quality of that “healthy” salad you just made.

To point you in the right direction, here is a quick recipe for a wholesome and homemade salad dressing that is not only healthy but that tastes great too! Enjoy, and cheers to conscious consumption!

Coconut Cilantro Dressing

1 can coconut milk, chilled overnight

1 cup fresh cilantro

2 Tbsp. lime juice

1 clove garlic

1/2 cup olive oil

2 tsp. apple cider vinegar

1/2 tsp. sea salt

dash of black pepper

1. Chill can of coconut milk overnight. Do not shake the cans up AT ALL. Carefully turn the can over and open from the bottom. Drain out the liquid, and scoop the white cream into a blender. Discard liquid.

2. Add remaining ingredients to blender and blend until smooth. Chill 20 minutes and serve.

The Phoenix Effect, a metabolic bootcamp that gets you in shape fast, is offered exclusively at Mansion Fitness, 7914 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood.

Jeremy Kinser

feedproxy.google.com/~r/queerty2/~3/tVMmouiPsjs/shape-up-eating-right-and-conscious-consumption-20150517

Meet the Women Fighting Transphobia Across the Americas

These trans women are fighting for visibility and trans equality across the continent.

read more

Marco Jaramillo

www.advocate.com/politics/transgender/2015/05/17/meet-women-fighting-transphobia-across-americas