Five Tips On Dating With Pride

Pride season is a great reminder (as if we needed reminding) that now is an incredible time to be out and proud in the United States and other welcoming parts of the world.

As many of the world’s major cities — and even many of the not-so-major ones — gear up for their annual rainbow-bedazzled events, there’s a natural desire to connect not just with our community but with that special someone.

Pride is just as much a triumphant celebration of the ability to love openly and freely without fear. As we await the Supreme Court’s ruling on the freedom to marry, this year could even hold significant cause to celebrate (fingers crossed).

Here are five tips on dating with Pride that we developed along with our friends at Compatible Partners:

1. You’re here, you’re queer, get used to it

The first step to entering a healthy relationship with another person is to foster one with yourself. We get it — years of conditioning that there is something wrong with being gay can cause deep ripples of shame and self doubt. Take a look around Pride this year. See the couples embracing, the joy on the faces of people dancing, and the (perhaps quite revealing) outfits that scream “I am who I am, what of it?!” These people are all family and have a well of acceptance to offer if you’re willing to receive it.

2. Date smart

To say that eye candy is a factor during pride is putting it mildly. But perhaps you’ve already done the “eye-lock with a stranger and make out 2 minutes later” thing. Or maybe you haven’t but you’re looking for something deeper. Get wise about what it is you want, and know there are tools at your disposal to help get you there. Online dating services are one way to go, and you can bet that during pride month they’ll be buzzing with added traffic. You aren’t the only one who wants to find love — trust us.

3. First impressions matter

If you’re messaging that sexy someone on a dating site, how you craft your note communicates your level of interest. “Hey” is that dreaded three-letter word that says “I thought you looked sort of cute in your profile picture so I decided to go fishing. Want to take the bait?” Instead, take the 45 seconds needed to read someone’s profile. Do they like reading? Tell them the last book you read and ask them to tell you what their’s was. Theater? Why not say what your favorite Tony’s performance was? This works in the 3-D world, too, you just have to be a little more clever about it. Context and compatibility are everything, after all.

4. Acknowledge your fears

Anyone who says dating is easy is either lying or delusional. Opening your heart to new possibilities by definition makes you a more vulnerable person. And vulnerability isn’t always valued in our culture. If your butterflies feel like humming birds, just say so. Chances are he’s feeling something similar, and putting it out in the open gets you both on the same page. Trying to cover it up and act like there’s no pressure only puts more distance between you, and the idea is to begin to come together.

5. Take action!

If you’ve made it to the end of this post, it must mean you have interest in taking on the risks associated with expanding your circle and potentially finding romance. So what are you waiting for? There are others like you actively seeking a proper fit, and pride is the perfect time.

Compatible Partners is running a special for the month of June to give Cupid’s arrow a little help finding its target. Check it out by the end of June to cash in on the special Pride discount.

Chris Bull

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Chicago’s Henry Gerber House Becomes Second Gay-Related National Historic Landmark

The Henry Gerber House in Chicago has been designated a National Historic Landmark, becoming the nation’s second LGBT related property to achieve such recognition, the U.S. Department of Interior has announced.

Said Secretary of the Interior Sally Jewell:

“The National Park Service is America’s storyteller, and it is important that we tell a complete story of the people and events responsible for building this great nation,” said Secretary Jewell. “As we honor the pioneering work of Henry Gerber and the pivotal role this home played in expanding and fighting for equality for all Americans, we help ensure that the quest for LGBT civil rights will be told and remembered for generations to come.”

Writes the DOI:

The house…served as the headquarters and meeting place for the Society for Human Rights. The Society’s members held lectures, published a newsletter that was the earliest-documented gay-oriented periodical in the country, and worked to change the minds of legal and political authorities. They hoped to challenge, through educational programs and community outreach, the contemporary discourse that discriminated against LGBT people.

The Society’s chartered status and newsletter were unprecedented in the history of the gay rights movement in the U.S. and preceded better-known efforts by more than two decades. Although the house was the site of the earliest documented efforts toward LGBT emancipation, the social and political climate led to the swift dissolution of the Society in 1925 after police arrested Henry Gerber and several other members. Although no warrant was produced, Mr. Gerber was taken into custody and his belongings confiscated. The organization’s collapse illustrates substantial obstacles in the struggle for civil rights.

The first LGBT-related National Historic Landmark is the Stonewall Inn, which today just achieved designation from New York City’s landmarks division.

The post Chicago’s Henry Gerber House Becomes Second Gay-Related National Historic Landmark appeared first on Towleroad.

Andy Towle

Chicago’s Henry Gerber House Becomes Second Gay-Related National Historic Landmark

'Do I Sound Gay?' Doc Continues to Echo

Many are taking notice of director David Thorpe’s film on ‘gay voice.’

read more

Neal Broverman

www.advocate.com/arts-entertainment/film/2015/06/23/do-i-sound-gay-doc-continues-echo

A Letter to My Niece About Race
“AJ is taking the Charleston shooting hard. She is feeling overwhelmed and helpless. She said ‘I’m tired of people dying, and there is nothing I can do about it.'”

Your mom wants me to say something that will relieve you of this despair. I wish I could.

Would it make you feel better to know that such slaughter is not a new or surprising thing? I didn’t think so.

The horror of realizing that this kind of hatred, this kind of unspeakable violence, is not an aberration, but in fact THE WAY OF THE WORLD, that horror is a part of growing up. Because we failed you. You are realizing that the generations ahead of you, all of us, bear the guilt that we have not done better. Everyone who is truly awake experiences that horror sooner or later… that we still live in a country in which unspeakable acts are not only still happening, but happening at an alarming frequency.

We haven’t stopped men from raping girls. We haven’t contained our love affair with guns, even when kindergartners are slaughtered like sheep. We haven’t even stopped our own police from killing black people. That is our shame.

Too many of us (white people) think that racism was about slavery and separate water fountains, so we can cross it off the list of problems to solve. Very few people know about redlining and how we systematically stripped the wealth from black families. Very few people understand the school-to-prison pipeline and how black children as young as 4 years old are suspended and put on the “bad kid” track for behavior that is indulged in white children. Very few people understand how the drug war has been waged largely against black people, turning up to 1/3 of Black men into criminals while pot and cocaine use in white communities is largely ignored.

We don’t use the “n-word” or say blatantly racist things, so we feel smug in treating the fears of black people as overblown.

I know you know all this. I know it makes you feel angry and frustrated and helpless. And yet. And yet. I don’t want you to give up on us, not on Americans. We are crucially flawed as a people, but as individuals… individuals can disarm you with their capacity for kindness and forgiveness. We become inured to the casual cruelty of everyday life, but a human can take your breath away with their quickness to come to the aid of someone they don’t know. They just need to SEE it.

This you can do, in the spaces in our communities where black voices are not heard: preach and teach. Tell stories. Provide data. Listen. Then tell more stories, provide the data again, listen. Repeat until you achieve the desired result.

And so, have all your feelings. As much as I want you never to suffer, I would not take away the feeling of despair that now threatens to overwhelm you — because you need to KNOW. You need to know that this capacity for cruelty and for apathy in the face of cruelty is as human and common as the capacity for kindness. And though I never want you to be overwhelmed by it, I also never want you to be jaded by it. Know that every act of kindness and every act of defiance, every act of aggressive compassion that pushes for change, is important. Not because it achieves change, but because it takes a stand against the evil. Your fearless love and its refusal to accept the murder of innocents, even if it doesn’t change the heart of the world, will save your soul.

You were wrong, you know. To believe that there is nothing you can do about it. You can, and you will. You have already started. You have started by allowing into your heart the notion that people with less privilege than you not only deserve equal dignity, but do not get it unless you insist. You have started by listening and learning, and speaking from a place of love. You have started with knowing with an unwavering belief that God is God, and if you can help even one person move in the direction of grace, you have won.

This is not a battle that can be won this year or next. Some day, we will recognize that not everyone who wants an arsenal of guns should have them. Some day, we will learn that the color of our skin does not separate us into tribes. Even then, there will be more to be done to acknowledge the base truth that we are all family.

Maybe you will be lucky, and at some moment in your life, you will find that you are in the right place at the right time to push that arc of history back toward justice.

In my heart, I know that you will.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

www.huffingtonpost.com/brenda-s-/a-letter-to-my-niece-about-race_b_7624568.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices

Love Conquers Hate in South Carolina

Nine innocent victims lost their lives in Charleston, South Carolina, last Wednesday. Since then, South Carolinians of all races have mourned and grieved for those killed in what has been identified as a hate motivated crime.
HRC.org

www.hrc.org/blog/entry/love-conquers-hate-in-south-carolina?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss-feed

Man Arrested For “Knowingly Transferring HIV” After Spitting On Woman

Someone needs to give the Oklahoma City Police Department a crash course on how HIV is spread.

Over the weekend, they arrested a man for “knowingly transferring HIV” after he allegedly spit on a woman during an argument.

Related: Unfortunate New Study Finds HIV Stigma And Discrimination Is Alive And Well

The alleged “victim” told authorities that she and 32-year-old Apollo Gonzalez got into an argument on Saturday. During the squabble, Gonzaelz, who the woman claims was drunk, spit in her face.

“The [woman] said it is well-known that [Gonzalez] is HIV positive and [Gonzalez] admitted to me he had HIV,” the police report stated.

The cops arrested him at the scene for “knowingly transferring the HIV virus and assault and battery.”

For the record: Gonzalez did not “transfer” HIV virus. And he “acknowledged” he has HIV, he did not “admit” it.

Look it up, folks. According to AIDS.gov: “HIV is not spread through the air and it does not live long outside the human body.” In other words, The virus is not transmitted through saliva.

Related: HIV+ Man’s Photo With His HIV- Family Goes Viral, Combats Stigma

h/t: kfor

Graham Gremore

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News: Ceres, South Carolina, Condoms, Dodger Stadium

> Harvery Fierstein to get star on Hollywood Walk of Fame.

> NASA spots “pyramid” looking peak on the surface of dwarf planet Ceres: “curioser and curioser.” 

> Mike Huckabee wants term limits for Supreme Court justices. 

> A look back the “Newport Sex Scandal of 1919″, Franklin D. Roosevelt’s so-called anti-gay sex crusade.

> Rachel Maddow might be “really happy” Brian Williams is coming to MSNBC but it seems others at the cable news network might not be so happy.

> Janet Jackson to be honored with a special BET award.

> Sean P. Diddy Combs arrested for assaulting his son’s football coach with a kettlebell.

> Not surprisingly, Seth MacFarlane slays at musical impressions.

> South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley and conservative legislators come out in favor of removing the confederate battle flag from the state capitol. 

> And confederate flags keep falling elsewhere in the South.

> Ryan Gosling is appalled by Costco’s mistreatment of animals.

> Liam Hemsworth reveals a little too much (or maybe not enough) after surfing.

> Independence Day sequel to be titled, Independence Day: Resurgence.

> Teens invent condom that changes color if person has an STI.

> Maya Rudolph has the Rachel Dolezal impression you’ve been waiting for.

> Gay couples make the crowd go wild at Pride Night at Dodgers Stadium when they end up on the kiss cam.

Gay couple on the Kiss Cam and the crowd went WILD at Dodger Stadium @frontiersmedia

A video posted by @lgbthollywood on Jun 19, 2015 at 9:14pm PDT

The post News: Ceres, South Carolina, Condoms, Dodger Stadium appeared first on Towleroad.

Sean Mandell

News: Ceres, South Carolina, Condoms, Dodger Stadium

U.K. College Rewrites 650-Year-Old Dress Code to Accommodate Trans Students

St. Catharine’s College at the University of Cambridge broke with tradition after listening to student campaigners led by trans woman Charlie Northrup.

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Mitch Kellaway

www.advocate.com/education/2015/06/23/uk-college-rewrites-650-year-old-dress-code-accommodate-trans-students

Perez Hilton Will Play Danny Tanner In A 'Full House' Musical
Sorry Bob Saget, but Perez Hilton is taking over as Danny Tanner.

Saget may be reprising his “Full House” character in Netflix’s upcoming reboot, but Hilton will sing as the TV dad on stage. While visiting the “Howard Stern Show” on Tuesday, the celebrity blogger announced that he will be playing Danny Tanner in the upcoming “Full House: The Musical Parody.” The new musical is a National Lampoon production, the company behind “Bayside! The Musical!”, a similar song-and-dance tribute to “Saved by the Bell.”

The musical cast will include “Bayside!” alums Seth Blum as Uncle Joey, John Duff as Uncle Jesse and Amanda Nichols as D.J. Tanner, as well as Marguerite Halcovage as Stephanie Tanner and Marshall Louise as Michelle Tanner. The musical will debut in Toronto on Aug. 18 before it makes its way off-Broadway in New York City on Sept. 7.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/06/23/perez-hilton-full-house-musical_n_7647816.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices

Russell Tovey And Sam Smith Romance Speculated On By British Tabloid

You gotta love the tabloids. They’re always trying to romantically link celebrities who are spotted out and about together. The latest victims of the rumor mill are Sam Smith and Russell Tovey.

According U.K.’s Mirror, Sam was “cozying up” to Russell this past weekend during a music festival in London’s Hyde Park. The publication goes on to state “the two chums were getting on like a house on fire backstage,” which must be some sort of British euphemism for flirting.

Related: Russell Tovey Baffled By Becoming “Worst Gay Ever,” Half-Apologizes For Comments

Alas, the speculation is just that — speculation. The Mirror also reported that Russell already has a boyfriend so nothing is going on between Smith and Tovey.

The tabloid quotes an anonymous source as saying, “‘Sam and Russell know each other through the party scene, but Russell is smitten with his new man so there isn’t room for romance.’”

The non-existent love connection is also pretty evident from the photo that accompanied the story. The group shot of Russell and Sam hanging out with British TV personality Lizzie Cundy and Dancing With the Stars judge Bruno Tonioli was taken Sunday night and posted on Cundy’s Instagram account. A picture is worth a thousand words and there is nothing that even remotely suggests there is an attraction between the crooner and the actor.

With the very lovely Sam Smith ,Bruno Tonioli #britishsummertime

A photo posted by Lizzie Cundy (@lizziecundy) on Jun 21, 2015 at 1:20pm PDT

Looks like we’ll have to put down the fire extinguishers since the alleged house on fire doesn’t even appear to be generating any sparks.

Newsflash to the Mirror: If two “chums” who happen to be gay are having a good time in public, it doesn’t mean they are hot for one another.

Jeremy Kinser

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