Black on Gay Hate Has to Stop: Gay Lives Matter Too
As a gay man, I have experienced a great deal of difficulties assimilating and finding my way in this supposed land of the free. Black gay males often find themselves struggling to cope with multiple oppressions. Racism, homophobia, and sexism has prevented us from actualizing many dreams and aspirations and in an incongruous kind of the way we have taught ourselves to overcompensate as a coping mechanism for rejection and hate.

Many black gay men struggle internally with self-acceptance because most of us grew up in a culture where autonomy and diversity weren’t conventional, and we were taught to believe that our “gayness” would somehow further demoralize the already deleterious image of black men. Even worse, was the rejection felt from our family members and peers and the contrived lessons taught by our spiritual institutions that because of our sexuality we was doomed to hell and that God did not love us; which fed into our already low self-esteem and further exacerbated our self-hate and shame.

Unfortunately, my experiences being black and gay has not lived up to the grandiose, hypersexual footage of care-free living and expression as personified on television. Actually, as a gay professional black male I have experienced the exact opposite. Instead of being accepted, I’ve been denied; instead of being trusted, I’ve been distrusted. Instead of being taken by my race, I have met discrimination and bias, which has made me acutely aware of the paradoxical conflict currently going on in America.

Contrary to major belief, being gay in America isn’t about color, status, or financial prowess. Being gay is about being emotionally and psychologically free to express oneself without fear of being ostracized, boxed in or unloved because of one’s sexual identity. A person that identifies as gay does not walk around purporting their sexuality; being gay is an identity and identity is defined as: distinguishing character or personality of an individual.

Identifying as gay resonates with being comfortable in one’s skin, knowing that we can be anything that we want to be and that the only thing that stops us from obtaining the American dream is our fears and inhibitions. As a group of informed people, we have to stop judging our brothers and sisters by the orientation of their sex and learn to fortify each other by the content of their character.

We often glorify our dislike of each other by unnecessarily discriminating against each other and harboring hidden contempt. This has to stop. As sojourners for the oppressed, it is time for us to think differently so that we can have something different as a nation, and people. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and dignity regardless of who they are, whom they love, and who loves them. I am reminded of a black man first that we want to be respected and afforded the same constitutional rights as all other American’s.

Discrimination is discrimination even when used under the guise of religion. Discrimination is designed to subjugate a group of persons. Just as we don’t want to be victimized for the color of our skin and want to be treated with dignity and respect; we must learn to do the same for our brothers and sisters that identify as gay. Biblically there was one group of people that consistently angered God, and that was the religious self-righteous. The religious self-righteous were prideful and arrogant and acted as if their superiority positioned them for more moral greatness than others. However, these religious elites irritated and saddened God because He saw this group of people as arrogant, unloving, hypocritical, and judgmental. For the past year, we have publicly decreed that “black lives matter” and we have marched diligently to that end. Although, I know that many of my black brothers and sister’s will not take the time to read this post, however, I truly hope that one day we all realize that GAY LIVES MATTER too.

For more than six years Psychotherapist and Life Coach, Dr. Warrick T. Stewart (affectionately known as Dr. Warrick) has been an integral and innovative addition to the counseling, and mental health field. Dr. Warrick is a Board Certified Licensed Professional Counselor in both North Carolina and Georgia. He is also a Licensed Clinical Addictions Specialist a Certified Rehabilitation Counselor and a Diplomate of American Psychotherapy Association.

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Pride Houston outing shows ExxonMobil making progress on LGBTI issues

It’s now common to see corporate staff participating in Pride parades.

However, while big companies in the tech, retail, finance and legal sectors appear to have embraced LGBTI inclusion within their core values, firms in the energy sector sometimes lag behind.

This makes ExxonMobil’s support of Houston Pride last weekend, where staff were given permission to march with an ExxonMobil banner, noteworthy. What makes it more remarkable is the shift it demonstrates in ExxonMobil’s own particular stance.

The company, which is the third largest in the world, came at the very bottom in the Human Rights Campaign’s Corporate Equality Index in 2014 and 2015. In fact, it scored -25; the only company to ever score a minus figure.

In 2013, HRC President Chad Griffin said, ‘No company has proven itself a worse corporate citizen by betraying its LGBT employees time and again than ExxonMobil.’

That ‘betrayal’ may have been a reference to Exxon passing up an opportunity to do the right thing; when Exxon took over Mobil in 1999, it dropped the latter’s policies prohibiting discrimination based on sexual orientation and terminated the practice of offering benefits to same-sex partners.

In an indication that the company is edging into the 21st Century, at the beginning of 2015 it re-introduced policies barring discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity.

Furthermore, this October it will be one of the official sponsors of the annual Out and Equal Workplace Summit in Dallas – an event where hundreds of LGBTI representatives convene to discuss diversity and inclusion.

‘Like other major oil companies, Exxon is increasingly a technology company, Steve Coll, author of Private Empire: ExxonMobil and American Power told the New York Times. ‘They need to attract and retain the top scientific and engineering talent. They’ve been slow to recognize that it’s in their interest to move to a culture of inclusion.’

J.Chris Martin, president of Pride, Exxon-Mobil’s LGBT employee resource group, concurred, saying, ‘I think what’s changed is that we’ve been able to show there’s a business advantage to the company.’

Exxon-Mobil is headquartered in Houston, Texas. This year’s Houston Pride parade took place in the Downtown district, after 36 years in the Montrose neighborhood. Organizers estimate that the relocation helped this year’s event attract something in the region of 700,000 people.

Mike Craig, Co-Chair of advocacy group Out & Equal Houston told Gay Star Business that ExxonMobil’s participation in the event was a positive sign.

‘It was great to see the ExxonMobil contingent in the Houston Pride Parade last Saturday evening – and a fitting celebratory milestone for all the hard work and engagement that LGBT XOM employees and their allies have put in over these last few years.

‘ExxonMobil employees have been active participants in many past Out & Equal Houston events – and were, in fact, part of the business group that came together and proposed establishing the Houston chapter. So it’s gratifying to see their company join the ranks of industry leaders like Chevron, BP & Shell in embracing LGBT-inclusive workplace policies.’

A spokesperson for Human Rights Campaign also welcomed the group’s participation.

‘We are cautiously optimistic about the company strengthening its LGBT inclusion programs,’ said Liz Halloran, who also pointed out the company’s aforementioned change to its Equal Employment Opportunity as move in the right direction.

ExxonMobil have been approached for further comment.

H/T: New York Times

The post Pride Houston outing shows ExxonMobil making progress on LGBTI issues appeared first on Gay Star News.

David Hudson

www.gaystarnews.com/article/pride-houston-outing-shows-exxonmobil-making-progress-on-lgbti-issues/

Honoring the Anniversary of the Civil Rights Act of 1964

Today, we honor the 51st anniversary of the signing of the Civil Rights Act, legislation that marked a milestone in the civil rights movement.
HRC.org

www.hrc.org/blog/entry/honoring-the-anniversary-of-the-civil-rights-act-of-1964?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss-feed

Eli Lieb Just Wants To Look Good For You: VIDEO

Out gay singer Eli Lieb is back with another one of his great covers.

In “Good For You” Lieb adds a a soulful and guttural edge to the song originally performed by Selena Gomez. While Gomez comes off as channeling Lana del Rey, Lieb’s cover is laced with pain and urgency.

Watch his video below:

If you haven’t already be sure to check out Lieb’s cover of P!nk’s “Try” and his original songs, “Zeppelin”, “Lightning in a Bottle”, and “Young Love.”

The post Eli Lieb Just Wants To Look Good For You: VIDEO appeared first on Towleroad.

Sean Mandell

Eli Lieb Just Wants To Look Good For You: VIDEO

Coming out of the Closet in Front of the Cast of Mamma Mia

Teachers, management, and even his friends coached Raymond avoid seeming too gay. But Judith Light (Angela from Who’s the Boss) had different advice.

read more

Matt Baume

www.advocate.com/arts-entertainment/2015/07/02/coming-out-closet-front-cast-mamma-mia

The President Sings of Grace

Justice comes from recognizing ourselves in each other.

President Obama had the best week of his career last week, with victories on trade, fair housing, healthcare and marriage equality that cemented his legacy. But instead of taking a victory lap, he capped his week with a eulogy in the form of a sermon on grace.

Black churches have figured prominently in my thoughts lately. On Stonewall Sunday, going through my Twitter feed, I found a joint Father’s Day sermon delivered the week before by the Revs. Otis Moss II and III at Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago. In addition to being LGBT-affirming, Trinity is famous for its tradition of prophetic preaching, thanks to video loops of its previous pastor, Jeremiah Wright, that roiled the 2008 presidential campaign.

Near the close of Justice Anthony Kennedy’s marriage opinion, he gave a nod to Jim Obergefell: “As some of the petitioners in these cases demonstrate, marriage embodies a love that may endure even past death.” Outside the court, Obergefell held a photo of his late husband and took a call from the president. The Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington sang “The Star-Spangled Banner,” tacitly embracing the words above the court’s entrance: “Equal Justice Under Law.”

The act of domestic terror that took the president to South Carolina later that day was intended by its perpetrator to start a race war. As Obama noted, however, when Dylann Roof killed pastor and state senator Clementa Pinckney and eight other members of Charleston’s Emanuel A.M.E. Church at a Bible study meeting, he did not account for the power of grace.

The Revs. Moss the previous Sunday spoke of prophetic grief, of how inhabiting another’s pain can lead to healing. Understandably, some were not ready for such talk. Before healing, they wanted justice. I think this misreads the forgiveness by the families of the fallen. They were not surrendering, nor calling for the killer’s release. They urged him to repent. He appeared too warped by hate to receive their wisdom; but they refused to give in to hate.

These members of a storied black congregation had welcomed a white stranger because of their faith: “For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me.” (Matthew 25:35) Their grace in the face of terror and grief had the rare effect of shifting the nation’s political ground. Within days, a movement swept the South to remove the banner of treason and slavery from its places of honor. The campaign feels like a long-delayed last battle of the Civil War.

The Fourteenth Amendment, ratified on the heels of the Union victory, provided the basis 150 years later for a landmark ruling for same-sex couples citing its Due Process and Equal Protection clauses. Try as we might to separate our struggles, our history throws us together, as illustrated by Kennedy’s citations of the 1967 decision in Loving v. Virginia ending state bans on interracial marriage. Obama said of Pinckney, “Clem understood that justice grows out of recognition of ourselves in each other.”

The president began to sing “Amazing Grace,” and the organist and congregation joined in. A few days earlier, state senator Paul Thurmond, son of a segregationist, had said of the rebel flag, “I am not proud of this heritage.” In his eulogy, the president brought up America’s obsession with guns. An issue long untouchable was made approachable by a tragedy’s exposure of the dirty secret that our gun fixation is substantially fueled by white supremacy.

The marriage victory required decades of work by countless people. More work remains, from transgender and immigrant rights to police reform, employment protections, and rebuffing the false pose of victimhood by religious bullies.

Recognizing our kinship in a rancorous era, and summoning the civility to work together, is a challenge. Some will be lulled, despite the narrow 5-4 decision, into a sense of historical inevitability.

Progress, like grace, is not guaranteed to us. Our natural instinct is not to welcome those unlike us, as the martyrs of Mother Emanuel did that Wednesday evening, not far from the docks where their ancestors arrived in chains. We have much to learn from their unconquerable spirit.

This piece originally appeared in the Washington Blade and Bay Windows.

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Coming Soon: A Virulently Homophobic Feature By Kirk Cameron’s Creationist Buddy, Ray Comfort

Grab your Bible, brimstone and buttered popcorn! Ray Comfort, a close personal pal of confirmed Creationist wackadoodle Kirk Cameron, is about to release a feature-length film called Audacity, which plumbs the depths of two hot-button issues: gay marriage and God’s unstoppered wrath.

Related: Kirk Cameron + Ray Comfort’s 150th Anniversary Edition of Darwin’s Theory Includes … Creationism

Comfort (who believes bananas are incontrovertible proof of God’s existence because they fit in your hand) executive produced this tacky tale of a bike messenger/aspiring comedian (Traver Owens) who must defend his stubborn views on religion and homosexuality in the face of militant, in-yo-face gays and gay supporters. Judging by the trailer, he’s harangued by an uppity young woman with a gay sister (the audacity!), two lesbians who brightly chirp about their marriage license in the tight confines of an elevator (the audacity!), and then, just to be that way, a scary guy with a gun (the audacity!)

We’ve watched the trailer five times and still have no idea what’s going on, but it definitely looks cringey-hilarious in its infinite ineptitude, and we’ll be watching the whole goddamn thing with Godspeed. OH, THE AUDACITY…!

Derek de Koff

feedproxy.google.com/~r/queerty2/~3/Sz4lKTd8fnk/coming-soon-a-virulently-homophobic-feature-by-kirk-camerons-creationist-buddy-ray-comfort-20150702

DOJ To Virginia School Board: Transgender Students Just Need To Pee

After proposals to restrict restroom use by transgender public school students were introduced in several states this year, LGBT advocates argued such a statute would run afoul of federal law.

Thankfully, none of the proposals — some of which would have placed bounties on the heads of trans students — passed. And this week, the U.S. Department of Justice affirmed LGBT advocates’ position in a filing that says Title IX of the U.S. Education Amendments of 1972, which prohibits sex discrimination, requires schools to allow transgender students to use restrooms according to their gender identity.

The DOJ filing comes in the case of 16-year-old Gavin Grimm (above), who is transgender and sued the school board in rural Gloucester County, Virginia, for the right to use the boys’ restroom. Grimm had used the boys’ restroom until pressure from parents prompted the school board to require him to use an “alternative” restroom in December.

The Washington Post reports:

In a statement of interest filed Tuesday, the Justice Department argues that the Gloucester County school board’s policy violates Grimm’s rights, and federal officials are seeking to ensure that “all students, including transgender students, have the opportunity to learn in an environment free of sex discrimination.” …

“Singling out transgender students and subjecting them to differential treatment can also make them more vulnerable to bullying and harassment, a problem that transgender students already face,” according to the Justice document. The filing also cites figures showing that more than 90 percent of LGBT students in middle school and high school reported being verbally harassed and about half said they were attacked physically.

DOJ on Gloucester Transgender Bathrooms

The post DOJ To Virginia School Board: Transgender Students Just Need To Pee appeared first on Towleroad.

John Wright

DOJ To Virginia School Board: Transgender Students Just Need To Pee

The Marriage Equality Photo Seen Round the World

Meet the couple featured in a photo from Decision Day that has becoming iconic of that moment.

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Ross von Metzke

www.advocate.com/politics/media/2015/07/02/marriage-equality-photo-seen-round-world

Why It's Time to Reject Gay Separatism
This week, my guest on The Sewers of Paris (a podcast about how entertainment has changed the lives of gay men) is Raymond Miller, a Canadian actor who had doubts about coming out of the closet. But once he finally made the leap, he discovered a big huge queer community waiting to catch him.

The week that this episode comes out is the week that the Supreme Court overturned marriage bans across the United States, which is amazing and revolutionary and I’m still kind of in disbelief that it’s finally happened. It changes a lot, and not just laws about marriage. It means an end to one of the biggest, most visible ways in which queer people are oppressed.

But what is that going to mean for gay men? If we’re not fighting oppression, is there anything that we have in common anymore? Well, yeah, there is one thing — one common thing that we all want. Each other. Whether it’s friendship, or brotherhood, falling in love or falling into bed, we’ll always seek each other out.

And the less we have to deal with oppression, the more energy we can devote towards finding and being good to each other.

For my recommendations this week, please set aside some time for The Boys in the Band. And if you’ve already seen it, watch Making the Boys, the 2011 documentary about it. You can find the movie on YouTube, but you might enjoy reading the play instead. It’s a beautiful and heartbreaking depiction of all the ways that gay men use our own pain to inflict pain on others. In the world of The Boys in the Band, we come together for comfort and companionship, but we come so battered and abused by the world that we can’t help battering and abusing each other. Whether you watch it or read it, The Boys in the Band is a vital text, but I should warn you: brace yourself.

Imagine what the lives of gay men would have been, 50 years ago, if they had been as accepted by society as we are today, or will be in another decade? How much damage and suffering could they have avoided, whether inflicted by the world or by themselves? But with the acceptance that we now enjoy comes a new challenge: we don’t have that common bond of outsider status that once connected us. And sure, we’ll still share a bond in that we’re all interested in what’s in each other’s pants. But that interest is probably not enough to constitute a fully realized community.

So I think now’s a good time not just to appreciate each other and everything that queers have accomplished together, but to ask ourselves, “okay, I’m gay — now what ELSE am I?”

Fortunately, John Waters has some helpful advice in this area. For my second recommendation, I want you to go watch John Waters’s 2015 commencement address at the Rhode Island School of Design. I can’t even imagine how much controversy must have surrounded the decision to invite him, but thank God they did, because here’s what he has to say:

Refuse to isolate yourself. Separatism is for losers. Gay is not enough anymore. It’s a good start, but I don’t want my memoirs to be in the gay section near true crime at the back of the bookstore next to the bathrooms. No! I want it up front with the best-sellers.

In other words, he’s saying times are changing. These days we’re accepted in more and more places. For the first time, the straight world is extending us a welcoming hand without asking us to change. Let’s see what happens if we accept it.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

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