Category Archives: MISC



You Might Like

Videos | Dating

Live Cams | Live Chats

 

MISC

5 Easy Tips For Creating A Better Online Dating Profile

5 Easy Tips For Creating A Better Online Dating Profile

Screen Shot 2014-10-31 at 11.16.00 AMGay dating websites can be an awesome way to connect but can also be a real drag. Messages go unanswered, hours seem wasted scrolling through endless profiles and something that’s supposed to hook you up leaves you feeling as isolated as ever. But the problem can be easier to solve than you think.

It might seem annoying to work on your profile, but imagine it from your potential suitors’ perspective. What you say in your profile, and more importantly how you say it, are all anyone has to go off of. And the photos you choose may seem trivial, but they matter more than anything.

Here are some tips for a great online profile, and to get your dating life kicked into gear, we’ve partnered with our friends at Compatible Partners to offer Queerty readers a 75% discount on a six-month membership. Just use promo code: QUEERTY75

1. Put your best face(s) forward

Screen Shot 2014-10-31 at 10.57.57 AM

Imagine you aren’t you. Take a look at your dating profile’s photos and ask yourself, “Would I date him?” It’s an awkward and mildly narcissistic query, but your photos should communicate two clear messages: “I am a real person,” and “I have a personality.”

If you really want to dive into the data, people with four or more photos have the best online dating experience. Also, choose a main photo that’s a medium shot (not quite a close-up) and features the left side of your face. Yes, really.

2. Leave your friends out of it

6a00d83451b26169e201676363a6d5970b

It’s tempting to include photos of you with your friends at a bar. We get it — you’re socially well-adjusted and the life of the party. But these can be problematic. A photo of you surrounded by a bunch of cute guys isn’t the most approachable, and it can even be confusing which one is actually you.

3. To selfie or not to selfie?

Screen Shot 2014-10-31 at 11.05.45 AM

Let’s say you have four photos on your profile. At least two of them shouldn’t be selfies. Try using photos of you in your element, whatever your element may be. Enjoy hiking? Next time you and a friend hit the trails, ask them to help you with a little photo shoot. A shirtless picture of you on a mountaintop is infinitely more attractive than a shirtless picture of you in a bathroom mirror.

4. Tell people what you’re into, not what you aren’t into

Screen Shot 2014-10-31 at 11.07.37 AM

“I take care of my body and am looking for someone who enjoys staying fit,” sounds a whole lot better than “not into fat guys.” You’ll get better results staying positive than you will by putting other people down. Avoid phrases like “masc only” or racial boundaries. You may think you’re just being honest, but it makes you sound like a total jerk. Nobody wants to date a jerk.

5. Avoid cliches

Screen Shot 2014-10-31 at 11.12.06 AM

Not into “drama”? That’s great, nobody would ever say otherwise. Do you enjoy “movies and music”? Congratulations, you are a human being. Instead of spouting off these phrases that really don’t mean anything, try getting more specific. “I love Wes Anderson films and can’t get enough Beyonce.” OK, now we know something about you.

The same goes for how you message people. “Hey” and “What’s up?” are two surefire ways of not getting replied to. Take 30 seconds to actually read the other person’s profile and comment on something specific. Even a cheesy joke can go a long way. “If you were a tropical fruit, you’d be a Fine-apple!” At least it’s memorable.

Dan Tracer

feedproxy.google.com/~r/queerty2/~3/qXAtAg8C1U8/5-easy-tips-for-creating-a-better-online-dating-profile-20141106

MISC

Black on TV

Black on TV
Ever since I was a little boy, I’ve loved television. I’m proud to be working in the industry today, writing and acting on the small screen. I’m also excited about seeing more and more black people on camera (look at the cast of Grey’s Anatomy and Black-ish) and being aware of creators like Shonda Rhimes and Kenya Barris. Today I’m creating my own Web series, and I’m encouraged by what those ladies have done in network television. Of course, it wasn’t always that way. And even now, in this age of new voices and faces of color in the industry, in this age of Obama and Oprah, the struggle continues.

My first encounter with the impact of race on TV was in the ’70s. I was a huge fan of The Brady Bunch and had fantasized about being part of the Brady clan — that is, until I saw a Brady episode that deals with race. A white neighbor adopts two boys, one black and one Asian. They run away from home (to the Brady backyard) because they don’t feel like they belong. It hit me then, watching that episode, that I could never be a Brady kid; I wouldn’t fit in. My presence in that family would be an “issue.” It changed the way I looked at TV.

Today, television has changed, and there are many shows I like that feature black people (The Flash, How to Get Away With Murder). But it’s rare that those shows are as diverse behind the camera as they are onscreen.

While there are many people of color working in writers’ rooms today, there are still plenty of all-white writing staffs. (Next time you’re watching a TV awards show and the winning writers rush the stage, take note.) The truth is that people hire people who share their sensibility, people who are “like them” — and that often translates into a homogenous group. If I had a show, I’d hire people I relate to and who relate to me — on some level that’s the same principle — though I’d undoubtedly have a diverse staff because, as a rule, I hang out with a variety of people. I’d be searching for that balance, because it would “feel right” to me.

When I came to Los Angeles almost five years ago, I arrived as a formally trained playwright and actor, with a goal of getting a TV-writing gig. I had an agent and a manager, and I knew many people in the industry, but there was no job for me. At some point my manager suggested I apply to one of the network’s diversity programs as a way of potentially getting in.

The suggestion made me angry. I hadn’t moved across the country to get into a “program.” I’d moved across the country to get a job. Furthermore, did I really want to be lumped into the “diversity” pile again? Hadn’t I done that all my life? But after considering it, I realized I had nothing to lose. I wrote a new spec script, and I applied to several programs and was accepted into one.

The CBS Writers Mentoring Program changed my professional life. Primarily, it introduced me to the culture of TV behind the scenes. I discovered how writers’ rooms work, what show runners are looking for in employees and how to take a meeting. I was instructed on how to prepare myself for the day-to-day challenge of creating collaboratively. The goal of the program: to help me fit into the culture seamlessly. And, once inside the program, my agent and manager were able to get me out for more interviews. Eventually I landed a gig, as a writer on Covert Affairs, where I spent two seasons.

So much of what I’ve learned as a writer is to lean into what I know. That’s the source of my deepest writing, and it’s my deepest work that makes me most compelling as a creative person. For that reason, it can be difficult to be a writer of color in the world of TV. So often the stories I want to bring, the stories I relate to, the conflicts I imagine, are not the stories that are onscreen. There’s a process of “translation” that is a constant part of the work. The further a writer is from “mainstream,” the bigger the learning curve.

Today I’ve turned my attention to a subject close to my heart and in line with my experience. My current project is called SEND ME. It’s a Web series about a woman named Gwen (Tracie Thoms) who has the power to send black people back in time to slavery — more or less as an “extreme sport.” People who approach her want to go — to test themselves, to find out about their history, to reignite their will to live. This is similar to the way people climb mountains, cliff dive, or jump out of airplanes in order to test their limits. The candidates are extreme personalities, and they’re all in search of some connection to their history that they haven’t experienced. They’re all trying to find themselves and learn more about how they fit into the culture at large. Gwen argues with her husband about whether they should be sending people on this journey at all.

Much of this material mirrors my experience. I have questioned where I fit in. As a studious kid I was accused of not being “black enough.” As a gay man I’ve felt pushback from black people who take issue with my sexual orientation. Today I’m able to celebrate who I am. As a gay black man, I’ve moved through questions around my relationship to the black community, and I’ve wondered about my “obligations” as a writer to other people who look like me. Today I understand that telling the truth about my story can have a positive impact on anyone who reads or sees my work. I’ve had the experience of being followed in convenience stores and being stopped by the police, I’ve been heartbroken and angry about the racism I’ve seen on the news, and I’ve struggled with what to do about all that, just as the characters in SEND ME wrestle with what they’re doing and what they should be doing. These challenges are woven throughout the material I’m working on.

In order to make the first season of this Web series, we’ve launched an Indiegogo campaign for SEND ME. Donors are helping us create this series — to launch audiences into their own questions around race and belonging, about the impact of history and about personal obligations to self and community. I’m combining my skills as a writer with what I know about the organizational mindset that goes with creating television. I’m pushing past what I’ve done before to create something new and out of the box. By taking on this radical and unique subject matter, I’m hoping to present a universal story of belonging and identity.

www.huffingtonpost.com/steve-harper/black-on-tv_b_6109884.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices

You Might Like

Videos | Dating

Live Cams | Live Chats