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Five Careers A&F’s Mike Jeffries Should Consider Now That He’s Out Of A Job

Five Careers A&F’s Mike Jeffries Should Consider Now That He’s Out Of A Job

Karma’s a bitch. And nobody knows this better than Mike Jeffries, the openly gay CEO of Abercrombie & Fitch. The 70-year-old, who has a long history of making disparaging comments about ugly, fat, uncool, unpopular people in the media, is officially unemployed after being forced out stepping down from his role as CEO last week amid sinking A&F sales.

“It has been an honor to lead this extraordinarily talented group of people,” Jeffries told A&F employees before packing up his office. “I believe now is the right time for new leadership to take the company forward in the next phase of its development.”

No word yet on what Jeffries will do next, but just in case he needed some help thinking of something, we’ve compiled a list of five careers he may want to consider now that he’s out of a job.

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Guest star on American Horror Story: Freak Show

He’d fit right in alongside Bette and Dot Tattler, Jimmy Darling, Ima Wiggles and Twisty the Clown. And the makeup department would hardly have to do anything.

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Become a Clairol hair dye model

Maintaining a youthful appearance has always been of the upmost importance to Jeffries. He once told a reporter, “Dude, I’m not an old fart who wears his jeans up at his shoulders.” At 70 years old, he’s all about the hair dye, the spray tans, the collagen, and the Botox. What better way to promote his message of eternal youth than by posing as a hair model for Clairol’s nice’n’easy “Born Blonde” brand of boxed hair dye?

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Work the perfume counter at Macy’s

On his private Gulfstream G550 jet, Jeffries used to insist that the cabin constantly be spritzed with A&F cologne, among other outrageous demands. Clearly the man enjoys cheap, headache-inducing fragrances. So why not surround himself with the thing he loves by getting a job behind a perfume counter at Macy’s? He could spend his days spraying the air while gabbing with the salesgirls about the cute guys in the men’s department.

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Audition for America’s Next Top Model

Over the years, Jeffries received criticism for A&F’s overtly sexual ads geared towards teenagers that often featured half-naked, gym-toned frat boys surrounded by bikini-clad female admirers.

When confronted about the raciness of A&F’s models, Jeffries once said: “Listen, do we go too far sometimes? Absolutely. But we push the envelope, and we try to be funny, and we try to stay authentic and relevant to our target customer. I really don’t care what anyone other than our target customer thinks.”

Since he has such strong ideas about models and modeling, perhaps he should consider auditioning for a spot on America’s Next Top Model. We’d be curious to see how far he’d make it in the competition, and whether or not he’d butt heads with judge Tyra Banks.

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Become a volunteer spokesperson for Weight Watchers®

Jeffries has never cared for ugly, fat, uncool, or unpopular people. In 2006, he said he only wanted “good-looking people” in his stores because “good-looking people attract other good-looking people, and we want to market to cool, good-looking people. We don’t market to anyone other than that.”

“Abercrombie is only interested in people with washboard stomachs who look like they’re about to jump on a surfboard,” he continued. “A lot of people don’t belong [in our clothes], and they can’t belong. Are we exclusionary? Absolutely.”

Now that he’s jobless, perhaps Jeffries should consider offering helpful solutions for folks who may want to lose weight, rather than just criticizing them for their sizes. We think Weight Watchers® would be an excellent company for him to consider partnering with as a volunteer spokesperson.

Assuming, of course, they’d take his call.

Related stories:

Amidst Terrible Sales, Mike Jeffries, A&F’s Gay CEO, Announces He’s Leaving The Company

Abercrombie And B*tch, Please: CEO Mike Jeffries’ 5 Worst Quotes In GIF Form

New List Reveals The Top 50 Most Powerful Openly Gay Business Leaders In The World

Graham Gremore is a columnist and contributor for Queerty and Life of the Law. Follow him on Facebook and Twitter.

Graham Gremore

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Conservative Kansas Lawmakers Primed to Reintroduce Religious Freedom Bill

Conservative Kansas Lawmakers Primed to Reintroduce Religious Freedom Bill

Kansas’s “religious freedom bill’ that would allow both public and private businesses to refuse LGBT customers service on religious grounds failed to make it past the Senate floor earlier this year following a deluge of complaints. Supporters of the proposed bill are gearing up to reintroduce it for legislative consideration following a federal court’s decision to overturn Kansas’s ban on same sex marriage.

FitzgeraldBefore dying in the Senate, the religious freedom bill successfully made its way through Kansas’s House of Representatives. Lawmakers like Kansas state senator Steve Fitzgerald (R) explained to the Wichita Eagle that the first iteration of the bill had been mischaracterized in such a way that derailed its advancement. Reintroducing the bill soon, he explained, would give conservative Kansans a chance at maintaining their religious freedoms.

“So what you’ve got is we’ll sue you and take everything you can get unless you participate in and help us celebrate what you consider to be gravely evil,” he said, recounting instances of conservative businesses being sued for discrimination. “So your freedom of religion is exactly, mmm, pay up.”

“You can be fired for being gay. You can be evicted for being lesbian. And you can be kicked out of a restaurant for being transgender. And you have no recourse,” said Tom Witt, executive director of Equality Kansas.

“Should businesses that do business with the public have to serve everybody? Yes. That’s a principle of American society. You are open for business, then you’re open for business to everybody. And you don’t get to choose what classes of people you’re not going to serve.”


Charles Pulliam-Moore

www.towleroad.com/2014/12/conservative-kansas-lawmakers-primed-to-reintroduce-religious-freedom-bill.html

Catch Up With The Facts Of Life Cast 35 Years Later

Catch Up With The Facts Of Life Cast 35 Years Later

Layout 1Among the many valuable lessons taught by The Facts of Life, one of the most gay-loved TV series in history, is one in the lyrics to it’s irresistible theme song: “you take the good, you take the bad.” Here’s some good you can take:  The long-running sitcom about a motley group of girlfriends at a prestigious Peakskill, NY  boarding school as they navigate the curvy road to adulthood under the watchful eye of their housemother maintains its appeal 35 years after its premiere. Now you can relive all those moments with Blair, Tootie, Natalie and Jo with the release of The Facts of Life: The Complete Series on DVD. The 26-disc set also includes a 2014 cast reunion at The Paley Center, the two made-for-television films that had the gals visiting Australia and Paris, as well as numerous other bonus features. The lavish boxed set will be officially released January 13, 2015 but eager holiday shoppers can order it here and it will ship December 16. The popular series, which helped launch the careers of several future superstars, such as George Clooney, Helen Hunt, Juliette Lewis and Molly Ringwald, was also a pioneering one with its depiction of a teen lesbian and was the first to feature a recurring character with cerebral palsy (comic Geri Jewell, who came out as lesbian in 2011).

Scroll down for an update on the actresses who played these iconic TV characters.

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Mindy Cohn (Natalie Green)

Cohn starred as the full-figured and forever upbeat Natalie for all eight seasons. The actress has appeared on numerous other television series, including 21 Jump Street and Suddenly Susan and earned a Daytime Emmy nomination for voicing Velma in What’s New, Scooby Doo? She further endeared herself to gay audiences with her role as the ultimate “fag hag” in the 2010 feature comedy Violet Tendencies and recently appeared on Hot in Cleveland and Bones.

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Kim Fields (“Tootie” Ramsey)

Before playing rollerskating Tootie, Fields was already a TV veteran, having appeared on numerous series including a turn as Janet Jackson’s pal on Good Times. The actress had another long-running, female-driven hit in Fox’s Living Single and briefly performed rap music with a group called Impromp2. Today, she occasionally directs TV sitcoms and is the married mother of two children.

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Nancy McKeon as Jo Polniaczek

McKeon joined the series as tough-talking tomboyish Jo during the second season and was an immediate hit with fans. McKeon starred in several made-for-TV movies throughout the 1980s and 1990s and was nearly cast as Monica on Friends. She headlined Lifetime’s police drama The Division from 2001-2004 and now lives in Austin, Texas with her husband and two daughters.

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Lisa Whelchel as Blair Warner

The actress began her career as a Mouseketeer on The New Mickey Mouse Club before being perfectly cast as preppy, sometimes snooty rich girl Blair. Whelchel was nominated for a Grammy for her 1984 Christian pop album and made it to the finale of Survivor: Philippines in 2012. Today, she’s the divorced mother of three, still acts from time to time and is in demand as a motivational speaker.

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Charlotte Rae (Edna Garrett)

The veteran actress began her career in the 1950s and had appeared on countless TV series and films such as Hair before playing the daffy housemother Edna Garrett. After she left the series in 1986 (Oscar-winner Cloris Leachman took over as Edna’s sister Beverly on the series) Rae continued to stay busy on TV and in film, including playing an older woman who has a fling with Adam Sandler’s character in the comedy You Don’t Mess With the Zohan. In 2013, Rae made headlines when she revealed that her 25 marriage had ended in divorce after her husband told her he was gay.

Jeremy Kinser

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