San Francisco Vs. New York

Which rival city is really better for gay men? San Francisco or New York?

This is an age-old question that we’ve laid out the answer for below. Both cities are fabulous meccas of glitter and rainbows, but it ultimately comes down which aspects of a city carry the most weight for you. Find out which city would be best based on which category is most near and dear.

 

VS.

Nightlife: New York

 

While San Francisco may be able to brag about its diverse LGBT scene, it’s scene is less raucous and dominated by small, intimate bars. If you’re looking for a party, New York it is! With a slew of fabulous clubs like G Lounge and Atlas Social Club, plus endless events, it’s the undisputed gay party capital of the world.

So who comes out on top? With 6 of the two categories (and 2 ties), New York reigns supreme as the most fabulous city for gay men! So break out those dancing shoes and go party!

 

Food: Tie

 

I know we got you all excited by promising one winner in each category, but we just couldn’t in good conscious pick one champion here. Let’s be honest, comparing the food scene in New York and San Francisco is like comparing apples and avocados (cheesy pun intended). New York reigns when it comes to bagels, pizza, Italian, burgers & dogs and Greek and of course delis, San Francisco earns her tiara for Mexican, Asian (sushi, anyone) and phenomenal coffee.

 

Diversity: New York

 

While San Francisco may be overwhelmingly white and Asian, it’s the only city where you’ll see drag queens crowding a city bus on a weekday morning. We also can’t ignore the magnitude of The Big Apple. The city alone is home to a whopping ten times more people than in the fair City By The Bay and hosts burgeoning Asian, Jewish and Latino communities. Hey, it’s pretty hella gay, too, and by sheer numbers, it’s the gayest place in the United States. Just look at the number of clones in neighborhoods like Chelsea and Hell’s Kitchen.

 

Nearby Escapes: San Francisco

 

New York has Fire Island, Provincetown and Atlantic City (gross, we know). San Francisco has Russian River, Tahoe and Napa. The running was tight, but in the end, it was a no-brainer. With stunning beaches, skiing, hiking and ultra-gay resorts all within just a few hours’ drive, San Francisco takes the cake. New York may boast similar nearby attractions, but in Cali, you can walk around in board shorts a muscle tee year-round. Hey, it’s February and San Franciscans are slathering on sunscreen and traipsing about in flip flops.

 

Recreation: New York

 

SF, feel free to geek out with tech nerds or strip down to a leather jock strap at Folsom. In New York, well…New York has pretty much every kind of gay entertainment you can imagine, from a massive gay pride to bustling club and bar scenes. Let’s not forget about gay mainstays like the Black Party, the White Party, plus more whimsical annual events like the gender-bending Bushwig drag fest and the devilishly delicious International Escort Awards.

 

 

Friendliness: San Francisco

 

While New York, undeniably, is where the gay equality movement started—props, guys—we simply can’t ignore the rainbow flag-draped streets of San Francisco and generally accepted pronoun fluidity. Stroll down any street, and guy-on-guy and girl-on-girl hand-holding action is ubiquitous.

 

 

Architecture: New York

 

Celebrated gay playwright Tennessee Williams famously said, “America has only three cities: New York, San Francisco and New Orleans. Everywhere else is Cleveland.”

(No disrespect to Cleveland of course.)

If we’re going to be really honest here, with its preponderance of Antebellum mansions and stunning Spanish architecture, New Orleans wins hands down, but we also know we’re comparing San Francisco and New York.

San Francisco architecture was likely, by and large, the inspiration for “Little Boxes” (familiar to you Weeds fans out there)—generic and functional, at best. And while brownstone walkups might not be so much better, we have admit a soft spot for shiny, phallic skyscrapers pricking the sky all across Manhattan.

 

 

Getting Around: New York

 

That boy in the Sunset may be hard to get to on Muni (or the lack thereof)—but so is the the one in Jamaica Queens (if we’re being fair). But New York’s mass transit system is the most extensive in North America and is still cheaper than Muni, if less entertaining. Props to the endlessly inspiring and laugh-inducing sights on San Francisco’s trams, buses and trains.

 

 

Dating: New York

 

Flakiness, diversity, friendliness—all these traits affect how successful you are at dating, and the east/west temperament is pretty darn different. While the boys in San Francisco may be more carefree (and furry), the boys in New York will actually show up when you ask them out (must be a lawyer/hedge fund thing).

To be fair, both cities present similar drawbacks: A preponderance of both tourists and boys who are working too much to have time for more than casual fun.

 

 

Housing: Tie

 

Which is more worth it? The rent is too damned high in both places. This wouldn’t have been true just a few years ago, but with rents skyrocketing by triple-digit percentages each quarter, the City By The Bay is giving even Manhattan a run for its money when it comes to the most expensive area in the United States. A two-bedroom in San Francisco will set you back about $4000/month, while a two-bedroom in New York (the entire city) average about $3500/month, according to RentJungle.com. Of course, rents vary quite a bit by neighborhood, and Manhattan remains the most expensive neighborhood in the United States.

So what does all this mean? Regardless of what city you live in, you’ll probably be sleeping in a living room/lacking a door, meaning hooking up is going to be painfully difficult. That’s why bath houses in San Francisco and New York are so important.

mr_brennan

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Oh, No, I Really Liked 'Jupiter Ascending'
Channing Tatum boxes a flying dinosaur in “Jupiter Ascending,” a ridiculous and joyful moment in a movie full of ridiculous and joyful moments. The scene even has its own score cue, courtesy of composer Michael Giacchino: “Flying Dinosaur Fight.”

That title is “Jupiter Ascending” in a nutshell. Obvious, garish, silly and so damn fun. “Jupiter Ascending” is bananas in the best and worst ways, an excessive, over-the-top amalgam of other science-fiction works (“Star Wars,” “The Fifth Element,” “Brazil,” “The Matrix,” “Dune,” H.P Lovecraft and Moebius). It’s the movie version of larceny. I can’t believe someone gave Andy and Lana Wachowski $175 million to make this movie; I get the feeling they can’t either.

Does any of it make sense? Sort of? Earth, it turns out, is an ostensible cattle farm (one of millions, it seems) and three siblings — played with increasing camp excellence by Tuppence Middleton, Douglas Booth and Eddie Redmayne — want it for themselves. The problem is that Earth belongs, unwittingly, to Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis), a Russian immigrant and maid-for-hire living in Chicago who’s also queen of the universe. The siblings, in turn, kidnap or trick Jupiter at various times in the narrative in attempts to gain control of her planet. Tatum plays Caine Wise, a disgraced soldier turned bounty hunter who tries to save her. He’s half man and half wolf. At one point, Caine compares himself to a dog.

The “why” is the trickier part: “Jupiter Ascending” mixes the science-fiction of “The Matrix” and “Prometheus” together to explain some of it, but even a fan would be hard-pressed to give a detailed account of character motivations. (I won’t even try.) But plot and character are MacGuffins in this film, the unnecessary accessories that drive the movie’s whirling nonsense forward. Who cares why Jupiter is revealed to be an exact genetic replica of the siblings’ mother, when Eddie Redmayne is shouting at a few minions?

Ah, Eddie Redmayne. Let’s pause here to say if he were to win his possible future Oscar for “Jupiter Ascending” instead of “The Theory of Everything,” it would be deserved. He goes full Oldman in this movie, and it’s the kind of go-for-broke performance more actors should be given the slack to try. Any and all talk about this being Redmayne’s “Norbit” is both suspect and silly. He’s great in “Jupiter Ascending,” doing exactly what the material asks him to do.

Is “Jupiter Ascending” bad? A lot of critics think so. The film has a 22-percent rating on Rotten Tomatoes, with reviews calling it “swollen,” “lost” and “laughably inane.” According to the Wachowskis, the original script was more than 200 pages; the film is just 125 minutes. Many reviewers have cited how “Jupiter Ascending” comes across like an adaptation of a comic-book series or franchise sequel that only the Wachowskis know exist. “When Caine Wise first appears in this movie, it really does feel like the film wants you to think, Ah, yes, my favorite character, Caine Wise. How we’ve grown with you over the years. I hope you succeed again, old friend,” Mike Ryan wrote for Uproxx. He’s not alone in that very valid critique.

But does a movie so steeped in its influences — there’s an entire homage to “Brazil” that literally ends with a Terry Gilliam cameo — really need any true set up? We’re rooting for Caine and Jupiter because they’re our heroes. We want Redmayne’s villainous Balem Abrasax (great name / lost Asia album title) to get a well-deserved comeuppance. To quote “Beauty and the Beast,” yet another movie to which “Jupiter Ascending” owes a debt: It’s a tale as old as time.

“Nowadays, people who write about movies are obsessed with derivative material in a way they never were before,” Lana Wachowksi told BuzzFeed about the post-9/11 film landscape. “They hunger for familiarity, and they actually have a suspicion of originality.”

What’s funny is that the Wachowskis have given us familiarity here too, and people still don’t like it. Maybe I shouldn’t either? Whatever. How am I supposed to hate a movie that gave us a scene like this?

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