21 First-Date Horror Stories To Remind You That Romance Is Dead
Looking for love often puts people in weird, awkward and sometimes downright scary situations.
While online dating, apps and nosy matchmaking mothers make it easier than ever to match up with hot singles in your area™, they also up the chances for first date disasters.
We asked women in our Facebook community to weigh in with their most terrible first date stories. Here are 21 of the worst:
1. “In the cool night air, with only my date’s car shielding me from the freeway, I had to relieve myself to end my gastrointestinal torture.”
“I got sick from the food we ate at a restaurant, it did not agree with my stomach. On the freeway on the way home, I just couldn’t ‘hold it’ anymore. My date kindly and quickly pulled off the road on an offramp, and I jumped out. It was desert terrain… No bushes! In the cool night air, with only my date’s car shielding me from the freeway, I had to relieve myself to end my gastrointestinal torture. When I was done… no toilet paper. My date went to his trunk and retrieved one of his custom-tailored white French-cuff suit shirts that was supposed to be dropped off at the cleaners the next morning… He donated the shirt to my cause. We left the shirt by the road side, BTW. Although totally embarrassed and humiliated, I got back into the car. Not only did my date handle the entire situation with compassion (although he still calls me Freeway), he took me back to the restaurant and raised a little hell about the incident their food had just created. We not only continued to date, we married and just celebrated 17 years in April. He still calls me Freeway!”
— Michelle, age 45, Laguna Hills, CA
2. “He grew pot, and consumed massive quantities of it every day.”
“I went on a date with a guy who seemed totally normal, and together for the first half of the date, but then he started talking about these flowers that he grew, and how the flowers told him secrets, and expanded his mind, and made him whole. Took me a minute to realize he was saying that he grew pot, and consumed massive quantities of it every day. And it was apparently his whole life. Then he ‘forgot’ his wallet when the check came. Yeah, that was enough.”
— Becca, age 36, PA
3. “It was a blind date and he brought his dad.”
— Lindsey, age 30, Jacksonville, NC
4. “The guy leaned over to kiss me and burped in my mouth.”
— Toni, CA
5. “The cows were crapping over the side of the truck onto my parents’ suburban sidewalk.”
“On our first date, I had a boy pick me up in an old Bobtail loaded with cattle. The cows were crapping over the side of the truck onto my parents’ suburban sidewalk. I married him.”
— Monica, age 44, Utah
6. “One date I went on, the guy told me that he was addicted to coke.”
— Miranda
7. “He talked like a baby. He put chopsticks in his mouth and pretended to be a mammoth.”
— Lydia
8. “[He] told me, ‘I know how to get rid of a body so no one would ever know it was me, or where to find it.'”
“He was studying a degree in Forensic Science at the time and told me, ‘I know how to get rid of a body so no one would ever know it was me, or where to find it.’ Needless to say, I didn’t pursue this romantic endeavour.”
— Rebecca, age 28, London, UK
9. “I gave him a quick peck and he said, ‘That’s all I get?!'”
“I had a date with a guy who has been asking me out for a while. We went out for dinner and drinks which he made me pay for myself (which is whatever…I can handle myself), but when we got back to the bar we had met at for drinks before dinner for him to return me to my car he leaned in for a kiss and I gave him a quick peck and he said ‘that’s all I get!?’ And pointed… downstairs. Yup buddy that’s all you get.”
— Jen, age 28, New York
10. “He read me the texts to him from the soon-to-be ex.”
“Went on a date with a guy going through a divorce. We met up and for the next hour, he read me the texts to him from the soon-to-be ex.”
— Loretta
11. “[He] referred to himself in the 3rd person the entire date.”
“Had a guy who referred to himself in the 3rd person the entire date. He ordered drinks and appetizers etc. (I don’t drink, at all). At the end of dinner he said we’ll split the check down the middle. Then he asked me if ‘Autumn wanted to go back to Eric’s place now’ to which I replied, ‘I’ll have to ask her and get back to you.'”
— Autumn, age 29, Augusta, GA
12. “He stopped the waitress from wiping it up and proceeded to slurp it off of the table.”
“It was his birthday, so I offered to take him out to a nice rooftop restaurant. The drinks came and one of them spilled on the table, he stopped the waitress from wiping it up and proceeded to slurp it off of the table and said ‘these drinks ain’t cheap’ (as though he was paying). Then he spent the rest of the night on his phone.”
— Selina-Rachel, age 23, Toronto
13. “The guy had invited me over for a pyramid scheme.”
“Went out with a guy I had been talking to for a while… He told me to come to his house for a ‘big surprise’… I get over there and there’s about 50 people I’ve never seen before on his lawn. One guy was standing in the middle giving a casual presentation… It was a pyramid scheme. The guy had invited me over for a pyramid scheme.”
— Andrea, age 24, Indianapolis IN
14. “He said, confidently I might add, ‘Look at the tits on that one!'”
“He kept looking around the restaurant instead of at me while we were on our first date. Finally I asked what he was looking at. He said, confidently I might add, ‘look at the tits on that one!’ and proceeded to point out all the ‘sexy bitches’ around. Suffice it to say, I left pretty quickly after that.”
— Ewa, age 30, Boise, ID
15. “He changed direction with the conversation and asked if I liked diaper play.”
“We were having coffee talking about the area we live in and where we grew up when he changed direction with the conversation and asked if I liked diaper play. I was dumbfounded. He went on to say he liked to wear them. I came down with a headache real quick and left my coffee sitting… running to the nearest exit.”
— Cathy, age 45, Alexandria, VA
16. “He chugged his beer, looked me up and down and said, ‘Yeah… I can’t do this.'”
“Met a guy I’d been talking to on a dating site for our first date at a bar. We ordered our drinks and he immediately paid, chugged his beer, looked me up and down and said ‘yeah…I can’t do this,’ and left me there.”
— Allison, age 24, New York, NY
17. “He apologized for slavery over dinner.“
— Tanisha, age 44, Brooklyn, NY
18. “He asked me how I felt about cutting him for sexual pleasure.”
— Ashleigh, age 22, SC
19. “It was wing night, we ordered 40 wings, he left me four. Just four.”
— Nichelle, age 22, New York
20. “The ‘gentleman’ told me that he did not believe in domestic violence as a crime since it was needed to keep women in their place.”
— Valerie
21. “[He] slapped me right in between my legs and said, ‘Now you’ll never forget me.'”
“I met him through a friend. We watched a movie, he tried to get handsy and got visibly aroused although I didn’t reciprocate. He walked me to my car and as I was leaving slapped me right in between my legs and said ‘now you’ll never forget me.'”
— Brittany, age 28, Anchorage, AK
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