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WATCH: Zoey Tur's Tense Exchange With Transphobic Brietbart Editor
After being called ‘sir’ on Thursday’s episode of Dr. Drew on Call, trans reporter Zoey Tur wasn’t having any more of conservative writer Ben Shapiro’s transphobia.
Sunnivie Brydum
www.advocate.com/media/2015/07/17/watch-zoey-turs-tense-exchange-transphobic-brietbart-editor
Getting Married Past This Age Increases Your Risk Of Divorce, Research Suggests
Want to get married and stay married? Don’t rush to get hitched when you’re young — but don’t wait too long, either. Once you’re past your early 30s, the risk of divorce starts to creep up again, according to new analysis.
Nicholas Wolfinger, a sociologist at the University of Utah, looked at data from the National Survey of Family Growth and found that while the risk of divorce declines steadily from your teens into your late 20s — it starts to rise again somewhere in your 30s.
Once you reach the age of 32, the odds of getting a divorce increase by 5 percent each year.
As Wolfinger breaks it down on the Institute For Family Studies blog, “Those who tie the knot after their early thirties are now more likely to divorce than those who marry in their late 20s.”
Wolfinger writes that it’s “no mystery” why those who marry as teens face a higher risk of divorce: most of us don’t have the coping skills or maturity to deal with marriage in our teens or early 20s, he suggests — and marrying young correlates with lower educational attainment, which increases the risk for divorce regardless of age.
But why does waiting until you’re well into your 30s increase the odds? Shouldn’t you be better equipped to handle the stresses of marriage the older you get?
The researcher isn’t entirely sure but suggests it might have something to do with what he calls the “selection effect”: those who wait to wed may be the type of people who just aren’t cut out for marriage. Ouch.
“They delay marriage, often because they can’t find anyone willing to marry them,” Wolfinger explains in his blog. “When they do tie the knot, their marriages are automatically at high risk for divorce. More generally, perhaps people who marry later face a pool of potential spouses that has been winnowed down to exclude the individuals most predisposed to succeed at matrimony”
The Huffington Post reached out to Wolfinger for comment but he did not reply by the time of publication.
For those of you suddenly feeling like you just. can’t. win regardless of when you decide to marry, take heart: This is just a statistical analysis based on general trends and may not reflect your personal experience. And overall, the divorce rate in the U.S. continues to drop from its peak in the late 1970s and early 1980s. Phew.
For more on Wolfinger’s analysis, head here.
Keep in touch! Check out HuffPost Divorce on Facebook.
— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
David Thorpe confronts his ‘gay voice’ in his new film Do I Sound Gay?
David Thorpe wondered if other gay men were as distressed about the way they talk as he was.
So in his new documentary, Do I Sound Gay?, he asked some very famous ones including actor George Takei, designer Tim Gunn, author David Sedaris, newsman Don Lemon and columnist Dan Savage to weigh in.
Comic Margaret Cho also shares some insights in the film which opened Friday (17 July) in Los Angeles., Atlanta, Philadelphia and Denver.
‘Sometimes a voice is just a voice and sometimes it’s a symbol of something much bigger,’ Thorpe told the audience after a sell-out screening at the Outfest Film Festival in Los Angeles this week.
Thorpe shares in the film his life-long struggle with ‘gay voice’ – something you can’t quite define but you know it when you hear it.
He examines the questions ‘Do gay men who talk like gay men do it naturally or it is learned?’ and ‘Why are so may gay men so hung up on not sounding gay?’
One of the reasons is survival and how sounding gay as a boy or a teen can lead to bullying, says Savage who founded It Gets Better Project.
Thorpe said that while growing up, ‘if something sounds gay it’s like the worse thing ever. It’s associated with a lot of shame and a lot of stigma. … It’s amazing to me how many of my gay friends had speech therapy as kids.’
When he came out in college, he believes he got a lot less self-conscious: ‘I wanted to look gay and sound gay. I was so excited to be out of the closet.’
But later he began to wonder: ‘How did I get this gay voice stuck on me? Is it my real voice or this voice I reached for after I came out?’
In the film, he works with two different noted speech therapists in an attempt to see if he could change his voice to make it sound ‘less gay.’
In the end he learns that the real issue is this: ‘Coming to terms with my voice is coming to terms with myself.’
To find out where the film is screening, go to DoISoundGay.com
The post David Thorpe confronts his ‘gay voice’ in his new film Do I Sound Gay? appeared first on Gay Star News.
Greg Hernandez
www.gaystarnews.com/article/david-thorpe-confronts-his-gay-voice-in-his-new-film-do-i-sound-gay/
Kentucky Bill Would Allow Clerks to Deny Marriage Licenses to Same-Sex Couples
The proposed legislation aims to ‘protect religious freedoms’ of state government officials.
Daniel Reynolds
The Building Blocks of Erotic Intimacy
Sex addiction is a coping mechanism, much like compulsive eating, gambling or drinking, that works to either augment the addict’s pleasure or numb his or her pain. It’s a defense against overwhelming feelings that the addict cannot regulate, feelings that have their roots in childhood, when primary caregivers proved unreliable at best, and abusive at worst. Having failed to attach in a healthy way within these initial relationships, the addict now struggles to form bonds with others, either due to fear of abandonment, fear of enmeshment or fear of harm. The result of these fears, regardless of their particular flavor, is a phobia of intimacy that pervades the sex addict’s life. In response, he or she turns to relationship substitutes that also function as brain chemistry-altering drugs — porn, affairs, prostitutes, promiscuity. Thus sex addiction is a complex and highly sophisticated “solution” to the addict’s emotional problems. It is not dismantled easily.
What’s needed is an understanding of the building blocks of intimacy, which when worked on individually and as a whole, will gradually allow the addict to learn a new style of relating to others. The goal is for the addict is to learn to securely attach to healthy partners and experience the joy of intimacy, which once tasted, can be so powerful it incinerates all illusions that sexual acting out can ever fulfill the deep inner longing for connection that all humans have in common.
One of the most important building blocks is transparency. This means allowing ourselves to be seen and known authentically, no matter the consequences. To a sex addict, this can be horrifying. The shame involved in coming clean about the addiction is enough to send the addict right back to the sex club. But transparency is not just about disclosing secrets or divulging details to a partner. It’s about letting other people know when we’re hurting; lettings others in on our humor; sharing our talents; and even just being “boring” when we’re tired or need down time. Transparency is like the clean oxygen needed for relationships to breathe, and it begins in the safety of a therapeutic setting where addicts can risk being themselves, perhaps for the first time ever.
Another major building block of intimacy is vulnerability. Through years of acting out, the sex addict has built of a brick wall of “toughness,” an emotional invincibility that is evidenced in the callous objectifying of others and the ability to stay emotionally detached from partners. Learning to accept that we can be hurt, that we most likely will be hurt from time and time, and that we can be hurt and still be okay is the key to moving towards healthy bonds. To even acknowledge how deeply we can be wounded by a cold look, an unreturned email or a rejected invitation can be daunting, but once viewed in the context of our shared humanity, it becomes easier for the addict to understand how normal their responses are, and to cope with the disappointment in ways that are loving and respectful towards oneself, rather than destructive.
There are many more building blocks and cornerstones of intimacy, and each one is like a key that can open the door to freedom for the sex addict. Throughout the journey, it is essential to having a kind and supportive guide in the form of a therapist or counselor, for this work can unearth traumas too great to be handled on one’s own. Support groups are also invaluable during this stage of recovery, where addicts can share their progress and ultimately begin to grasp that they are not alone.
— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
After severe backlash, Gawker takes down post outing media executive
Gawker has taken down a controversial article that outed a magazine executive and accused him of attempting to hire a gay porn star for sex.
The website, whose founder and managing editor Nick Denton is an openly gay man, was widely attacked for posting the article which involves a Condé Nast executive who is married to a woman and has children.
‘It is a decision I regret,’ Denton wrote in a post Friday (17 July).
Gay Star News has chosen to keep anonymous of the executive whose only connection to the public eye is having a brother who was a former official in the Obama administration.
Denton acknowledged the criticism of the piece from readers has been intense and some of the site’s own writers ‘are equally appalled.’
‘Gawker is no longer the insolent blog that began in 2003,’ he writes. ‘It does important and interesting journalism about politicians, celebrities and other major public figures. This story … does not rise to the level that our flagship site should be publishing.’
Jordan Sargent, who wrote the story, posted screenshots of text messages and photos of the two agreeing to meet for sex until the porn star realized the man’s brother could help him out with a discrimination lawsuit against his landlord. Realizing what could happen, the executive then backed out of the deal. The porn star then went to Gawker and was given anonymity.
Writes Denton: ‘It is the first time we have removed a significant news story for any reason other than factual error or legal settlement.
‘Every story is a judgment call. As we go forward, we will hew to our mission of reporting and publishing important stories that our competitors are too timid, or self-consciously upright, to pursue. There will always be stories that critics attack as inappropriate or unjustified; and we will no doubt again offend the sensibilities of some industries or interest groups.’
The post After severe backlash, Gawker takes down post outing media executive appeared first on Gay Star News.
Greg Hernandez
www.gaystarnews.com/article/after-severe-backlash-gawker-takes-down-post-outing-media-executive/
Guess What? You Can No Longer Be Fired For Being Gay Anywhere In America.
After last month’s historic move to nationally recognize same-sex marriages, the next battlegrounds for gay rights in America are housing and employment protections.
Now it seems a major step has been taken on the latter, potentially putting to rest for good the ability to fire an employee based on his or her sexual orientation. That’s huge!
The U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, created to enforce and implement the 1964 Civil Rights Act, ruled this week that workplace discrimination based on sexual orientation is illegal.
The ruling states that employers who discriminate against LGBT workers are violating Title VII of the 1964 Civil Rights Act, which prohibits employment discrimination “based on race, color, religion, sex and national origin.”
It’s a new interpretation of the law with wide-reaching potential.
In the past, courts have ruled that Title VII doesn’t apply to sexual orientation because it isn’t explicitly mentioned, but the new interpretation accounts for LGBT discrimination under the umbrella of sex discrimination.
“Sexual orientation discrimination is sex discrimination because it necessarily entails treating an employee less favorably because of the employee’s sex,” the EEOC concluded.
It’s similar to how racial discrimination extends to relationships. Just as a man can’t be fired for dating a woman of a different race, the same man can’t be fired for dating a person of the same sex.
Oddly enough, Chief Justice John Roberts, who wrote the dissent in the marriage equality case, hinted at this same logic during sessions considering whether or not to take the case.
“If Sue loves Joe and Tom loves Joe, Sue can marry him and Tom can’t,” Roberts argued in April. “And the difference is based upon their different sex. Why isn’t that a straightforward question of sexual discrimination?”
What remains unclear is how this new interpretation will affect current efforts to pass legislation specific to protecting LGBT employees.
Of course, these new guidelines only help if you can prove you were fired for being gay. But it’s a cause for celebration nonetheless.
Dan Tracer
WATCH: Transgender Reporter’s Explosive Confrontation with Conservative Journo Ben Shapiro
Things got heated on HLN’s Dr. Drew On Call yesterday when transgender reporter Zoey Tur and Breitbart journalist Ben Shapiro faced off in a debate over Caitlyn Jenner’s ESPY award.
Shapiro, who previously asserted that anyone who thinks openly gay NBA player Jason Collins is a big deal must also hate America, got off on a transphobic tangent about genetics and “mainstreaming delusions.” Mediaite reports that when Shapiro began misgendering Jenner and Tur, the segment “went straight down the tubes.”
Forget about the disrespect,” Shapiro said, in the full clip first reported by Breitbart. “Facts don’t care about your feelings. It turns out that every chromosome, every cell in Caitlyn Jenner’s body, is male, with the exception of some of his sperm cells.”
“We both know chromosomes don’t necessarily mean you’re male or female,” Tur replied, and then put her hand on Shapiro’s shoulder. “So you don’t know what you’re talking about, you’re not educated on genetics.” That prompted Shapiro to ask: “What are your genetics, sir?”
And off we go. “You cut that out now, or you’ll go home in an ambulance,” Tur shot back while holding Shapiro by the back of his neck. The rest of the show’s guests then explained to Shapiro how he knew full-well his use of “sir” was meant to be inflammatory, but he was not moved. “It’s not a matter of aggressively insulting,” he said. “The entire discussion is whether we are embracing mental illness and delusion as a society.”
When the show returned from a commercial break the two were still going at it, with Tur calling Shapiro a “little man” and “little boy.” Watch the explosive segment below:
Shapiro and fellow conservative troll Matt Walsh later showed their classiness on Twitter reacting to the confrontation.
Note: It is not “polite to the pronouns” to use “she” to describe a male. These words have definitions. t.co/T32yaSSgUO
— Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) July 17, 2015
Hey @benshapiro, any plans to file charges against the cross dressing man who assaulted you on camera?
— Matt Walsh (@MattWalshBlog) July 17, 2015
Yes. You do not get to commit battery just because you are part of the chosen victim class. t.co/Byi0h8WaLu
— Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) July 17, 2015
The post WATCH: Transgender Reporter’s Explosive Confrontation with Conservative Journo Ben Shapiro appeared first on Towleroad.
Kyler Geoffroy
WATCH: Transgender Reporter’s Explosive Confrontation with Conservative Journo Ben Shapiro
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