Gay Former NFL Player Wade Davis Gives Moving TED Talk on the ‘Mask of Masculinity’ – WATCH

Out gay former NFL player and current executive director of the You Can Play Project Wade Davis recently gave a TEDx Talk in which he delved into what he calls “the mask of masculinity” and how he battled internalized homophobia for years before and after coming out of the closet.

Speaking in March at the University of Florida’s TEDx conference, Davis began by discussing a game he used to play as a little boy with his friends, ‘Smear the Queer.’ Davis explained that while neither he nor his friends knew what queer meant, they all knew that they “did not want to be the queer.”

Davis added, “We raise young boys to wear a mask of toughness in order to be a man, and we rob them of their childhood and their innocence. And sport is one of the many vehicles parents choose to help them put on this mask. And as little boys we learn that being labeled ‘tough’ grants you a crtian type of social capital and being thought of as weak or queer is suicidal, both athletically and socially.” And yet a more beneficial education was lacking in his life, as it is for many young boys. “I was never taught how to be myself or love myself,” Davis explains.

As a football player, Davis learned about a concept known as “wasted motion”, a notion that is pretty much exactly what it sounds like–extra motion (on the football field in this case) that requires energy and effort yet yields zero beneficial result. Davis began to realize that hiding his sexuality and performing a rigid version of masculinity was nothing but wasted motion. “‘I’m standing gay. I’m walking gay. I’m running gay. Would you just stop being so gay?!’” he recalls thinking. “That was wasted motion. Most of my life in fact was wasted motion.”

PREVIOUSLY – Out Former Football Player Wade Davis Opens Up About Being Gay In The NFL: VIDEO

Davis says he faced a complete paradigm shift by coming out: “I would be giving up so much power by being gay. And I’d be violating the very essence that I was taught of what being a man was.”

But Davis came to learn one important lesson: while holding on to his mask of masculinity might bring him many things, it would never bring him freedom.

“So what is the cost of always wearing a mask, what is the cost of never being yourself?” Davis asks. “The cost is never really loving yourself, and never allowing someone else to love all of you.”

Watch, below.

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#AM_Equality Tip Sheet: May 12, 2016

NC CHAMBER OUTRAGEOUSLY SUGGESTS “COMPROMISE” POSSIBLE ON HB2 DESPITE OWN MEMBERS’ CALL FOR REPEAL: The business community knows that discrimination is bad for business and bad for North Carolina — that’s why more than 200 major CEOs and executives have signed our letter demanding that NC Gov. Pat McCrory and state lawmakers repeal HB2. Yesterday’s statement by the NC Chamber of Commerce suggesting that full repeal is not necessary ignores the overwhelming outcry against HB2 from the business community — including the chamber’s own members. More from HRC.

• Meanwhile, Mayor Roberts makes clear equality is not negotiable… Charlotte Mayor Jennifer Roberts told LGBT supporters on Wednesday that she will continue fighting for her city’s non-discrimination ordinance, which HB2 overturned. “When people talk about compromising on equality, I think how? Do you make them half equal? Equality is equality.”

HRC ENLISTS BUSINESS LEADERS TO JOIN AMICUS BRIEF: HRC President Chad Griffin met with CEOs from leading tech companies and enlisted their support in joining a business amicus brief in support of the Justice Department’s lawsuit against Gov. McCrory. Taking their powerful voices to the federal courts on behalf of transgender equality echoes recent history in the fight for marriage equality:  Nearly 380 major companies signed an amicus brief in the landmark U.S. Supreme Court case Obergefell v. Hodges, helping ensure our marriage equality victory.

MCCRORY IS WASTING NC TAXPAYER MONEY: Gov. McCrory continues to treat the Tar Heel State like a private cash register, racking up lawyer’s fees defending the discriminatory HB2 — and now we learn he’s charging taxpayers for his travel expenses to promote the anti-LGBT law on television talk shows. North Carolina Democrats have filed a public records request seeking McCrory’s travel receipts and reimbursement details, since, ya know, taxpayers shouldn’t have to pick up the tab for McCrory’s political games. Particularly since they’re already paying a steep price for jobs and investments lost because of his HB2 fiasco.

• A Raleigh mother’s grief… During a news conference announcing the introduction of the most comprehensive non-discrimination bill ever introduced in North Carolina, a tearful North Carolina mom, Hope Tyler, emphasized the importance of LGBT-inclusive non-discrimination protections and said that HB2 is “emotionally killing our children.” Tyler said her 15-year-old transgender son is faltering because of HB2. “To the transgender community: You are not alone. We are going to repeal this bill,” she said — and replace it with a law that prohibits discrimination instead of requiring it.
• No grounds for enforcement… NC police departments say they’re not enforcing HB2. They also confirm that there has never been a single complaint about a transgender person in a public bathroom.
• SIREN!… Man forced to use “ladies room” in governor’s mansion!

MEANWHILE, IN OHIO AND MICHIGAN… The Michigan Board of Education has proposed  guidelines on accommodating LGBT students, triggering criticism from Republican lawmakers. At a board meeting this week, more than 100 people turned out to comment on the proposed guidelines, which would allow transgender students to use the bathroom that corresponds to their gender identity. The board has until next school year to take action. Ohio legislators held a hearing this week on two nondiscrimination bills — one would guarantee protections in employment, housing and public accommodations on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity; the other excludes gender identity and fails to cover  public accommodations, plus includes unique  exemptions for sexual orientation.

ITALY SAYS “SÌ” TO CIVIL UNIONS: Yesterday, Italy’s Parliament voted 369-193 in favor of same-sex civil unions. While the new law includes tax, inheritance and welfare protections for same-sex couples, it still prevents them from adopting their partner’s biological children.  Before yesterday’s vote, Italy was the only county in Western Europe with no legal form of recognition for same-sex couples. Though a welcome step, the new law does not provide full rights or protections for same-sex couples. Local LGBT advocates continue to push for full marriage rights. More from BuzzFeed.

EQUALITY RANKED: Check out the new ILGA-Europe Rainbow Index, which ranks 49 European countries’ treatment of LGBT people by examining their practices, laws and policies. The worst? Azerbaijan and Russia. More from The Associated Press.

CHINA’S FIRST TRANS LABOR DISPUTE REJECTED: A labor arbitration panel in China has unfortunately rejected a transgender man’s discrimination complaint against his former employer. In the landmark case for China, the man alleged that he was unfairly fired because of his gender identity. More from Hindustan Times.

RIGHTING A WRONG: Germany plans to pay full compensation to men who were convicted under the country’s former anti-sodomy laws. More from Pink News.

READING RAINBOW

13 News Now profiles Sergeant Michele “Shelly” Meister, the Virginia Beach police department’s first liaison to the LGBT community… The Washington Post makes the case for Eric Fanning, who has had his nomination to Secretary of the Army stalled by GOP Sen. Pat Roberts… 76 Crimes covers a proposed bill that would criminalize being gay in Senegal… ESPN considers the effects of HB2 on roller derby, a sport that welcomes transgender athletes… The Wall Street Journal takes a look at other states that have limited local non-discrimination protections… and the Star-Telegram covers the Fort Worth Independent School District Superintendent’s stand for transgender students.

Have news? Send us your news and tips at [email protected]. Click here to subscribe to A.M. Equality and follow @HRC for all the latest news. Thanks for reading!

www.hrc.org/blog/am-equality-tip-sheet-may-12-2016?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss-feed

EXCLUSIVE: Miss Major Mouths Off on North Carolina (Video)

The legendary trans activist and Stonewall veteran doesn’t hold back when giving North Carolina’s transphobic leadership a piece of her mind. 

www.advocate.com/transgender/2016/5/12/exclusive-miss-major-mouths-north-carolina-video

Azelia Banks Apologizes for Latest Homophobic Rant A Little Too Late (Video)

www.advocate.com/music/2016/5/12/azelia-banks-apologizes-latest-homophobic-rant-little-too-late-video

Target CEO Says Company Won't Back Down on Trans Bathroom Policy

“We’re going to continue to embrace our belief in diversity and inclusion,” CEO Brian Cornell said.

www.advocate.com/transgender/2016/5/12/target-ceo-says-company-wont-back-down-trans-bathroom-policy

These Incredible Gay Home Movies Bring The Past To Life

We regularly marvel at how snapshots of LGBTQ life from the past are able to do what even the most impassioned history lesson cannot — provide a relatable visual texture to the lives we might have led had we entered the world at a different blip in time.

Movies are even more immersive for obvious reasons, however few and far between.

In a recent New Yorker piece, a treasure trove of queer cultural preservation is profiled, starting with the personal home video collection of Harold O’Neal, who was born in 1910 and spent much of his life in San Francisco.

Related: PHOTOS: These Vintage Gay Pride Photos Are Absolutely Everything

Harold was a rehabilitation officer for the Veterans Administration and later worked in personnel for the Army Corps of Engineers, and like many gay men and women of his time, led a very different private life than the one he broadcast publicly.

Also an amateur filmmaker, over the years he recorded the fabric of his hidden-in-plain-sight life — the parties, the drag shows, the intimate moments with his partner. These things we take for granted today, but were still somewhat radical in the ’40s and ’50s.

Related: PHOTOS: Vintage Gay Couples Help Preserve Our Vibrant Queer History

The clips spent decades tucked away in boxes in O’Neal’s home, until he responded to a documentary filmmaker’s request for footage of the Castro. While the filmmaker ultimately only used a few brief clips of O’Neal’s, he recognized the historical value of the deeply personal collection.

Now the movies live at the G.L.B.T. Historical Society, and you can watch a couple of them, as well as some other archival gems from other sources, below:

1. Sunbathing in Vallejo, 1947:

2. Houseparty, 1946:

3. San Francisco lesbian bar Mona’s Candle Light around 1950 (discovered in an unmarked can at a San Jose flea market):

4. Tape from the collection of author Allan Bérubé of Garrisson von Habsburg, San Francisco, 1991. Garrison died two years later at the age of 29:

Head here to read the full, very worthwhile New Yorker piece.

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Italy Joins Rest Of Europe In Giving Rights To Gay Couples

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Paul Ryan and Donald Trump Release Joint Statement After Meeting: VIDEO

GOP House Speaker Paul Ryan and Donald Trump released a joint statement after a meeting to attempt to bridge a divide in the Republican Party. The meeting follows a refusal over the weekend by Ryan to endorse Trump as the party’s nominee.

And no endorsement is yet forthcoming, though the joint statement seems to suggest that it will come.

Said the statement:

The United States cannot afford another four years of the Obama White House, which is what Hillary Clinton represents. That is why it’s critical that Republicans unite around our shared principles, advance a conservative agenda, and do all we can to win this fall. With that focus, we had a great conversation this morning. While we were honest about our few differences, we recognize that there are also many important areas of common ground. We will be having additional discussions, but remain confident there’s a great opportunity to unify our party and win this fall, and we are totally committed to working together to achieve that goal. We are extremely proud of the fact that many millions of new voters have entered the primary system, far more than ever before in the Republican Party’s history. This was our first meeting, but it was a very positive step toward unification.

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— Paul Ryan (@PRyan) May 12, 2016

Ryan spoke about the meeting in his weekly press briefing:

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Samantha Bee Destroys ‘Middle-Aged Potty Prefect’ Pat McCrory – WATCH

Samantha Bee blasted North Carolina’s so-called bathroom bill, HB 2, and the governor who signed it, Pat McCrory, on her show Full Frontal this week.

Said Bee, “Fans of not being able to go to the bathroom without your birth certificate scored a victory when North Carolina’s governor signed HB2, which addressed the state’s urgent problem of LGBT people not being discriminated against enough.”

Bee also called Governor Pat McCrory a “middle-aged potty prefect” and added her name to the list of performers who will be boycotting the Tar Heel state: “I should add, until North Carolina lets trans people urinate in peace, I will not be bringing my 10-hour concert of Beyoncé covers to Raleigh.”

But Bee has a broader point to make about the dire straits North Carolina finds itself in, one that has its origins in 2010.

Bee quipped, “Boycotts are a powerful tool, but you know what is even a more powerful tool? Not electing a bunch of transphobic numbnuts who are going wreck the state economy to catch a nonexistent predator.”

Bee points out that many of North Carolina’s current problems, beyond even the debacle over HB 2, can be traced to the disastrous 2010 midterm elections when liberals and moderates stayed home and let right-wing nuts run the table.

The Daily Beast Explains: 

That year, North Carolina got a Republican legislature for the first time since 1870, leading to all kinds of new conservative laws—including easier access to guns and less reproductive rights. They even passed a law that lets local election boards move polling places off of college campuses to suppress the youth vote.

Bee drove home the importance of mid-term elections, saying,

“Look, I know state elections aren’t fun. They don’t have cool concerts or ‘dank memes,’ but voting in them is important. Just think of it like a mammogram. It’s painful and inconvenient but you’ve got to do it because early prevention hurts a lot less than late-stage treatment.”

Watch, below.

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